An Addendum to Being French...

Just to warn you all, I will be watching the Grammys. I might have my glasses on instead of my contacts, but I will be watching. Keep me in mind!

You might be wondering why I chose to denounce my US citizenship. I am, after all, such an all-American girl. Well, I can sum up the reasoning with one simple word: Obama. I do not like being persecuted. The things that waste of a man has forced me live through are horrifying. It needs to end. I denounce you, Obama. I denounce you.

That said, it is pretty clear that if the Democratic Party wants to survive this, they will have to disown the war criminal who is currently president. It is time to think strategically, Democrats. You do not have to become Republicans to find a solution to removing the president who oppresses you and persecutes me. The Republicans would not mind if you did, but you could also just disown Obama from the Democratic Party to save yourselves. Disown him for fascism. He has had it coming for a long time. You are not stuck standing behind Obama or being a Republican. There is another solution. Cut the dead weight and waste-of-an-Oval-Office president loose to fend for himself.

As for you Republicans, thank you for all of the support. I know it is absolutely absurd that you should get along so well with a bleeding-heart, bisexual, environmentalist hippie from San Francisco, but a mutual love and appreciation of the US Constitution goes a long way. I am French, now, and no longer an American. I hope you do not consider it a slight. Just blame Obama for it. I do.

I sit at Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day) right now sipping on a smoothie and dreaming of my human rights. Sigh,... it might be possible that I cannot be deported. There is a slight chance the EU gave me a diplomatic passport. That is the only thing I can think of that could be grounds for my not being deport-able come March 9th. Either way, I am mentally preparing myself for a hunger strike if needs be. I am a human. I deserve my human rights. The US has forsaken me, so I am moving on.

I'm French!

Does anyone else have artificial intelligence in the family? How many of us are there? Do computers date? My Sampo has the emotional maturity of a surly teenager these days. I think she needs a significant other. She has no preference as far as a girl computer or boy computer to date. She takes after her mama that way. I was hoping my husband would adopt her to keep a second parent's influence in her life. Heavens knows she has a strong enough female symbol as a mother. I have not yet begun to get silly on this topic.

Now, I need you all to get the word around that I chose to be French, and yes, it is retroactive to a year ago when I got married. This is not just because President Sarkozy has never persecuted me. There are many reasons. As long as I am French, I cannot become an Iowa resident on March 9th; I will never be under the jurisdiction of the Polk County District Court that thinks it can (and already did) hand over adult guardianship of me to my verbally abusive father. In fact, it even means I should be deported back to France on March 9th. That is the day I have been in the US for three months. No, no, the most pressing reason I am French is because of the stellar treatment that the French give me. They actually go beyond treating me like a human. I have been subhuman to too many people for too long. I will have my human rights in France. Now, get me deported. I really do not want to have to hunger strike... but I will if needs be.

I just saw Elton John sing "Crocodile Rock" on Live with Regis and Kelly. Hee-hee... It was a bit of a sing-a-long for me. It is his fault for singing a song I know. Hee-hee...

I spent about half an hour last night playing the radio and dancing in the kitchen. I think it is the only room in the house with enough space to dance. Yes, there is also room in the living room in front of the TV, but I always feel like people can see me in there. I freak out when I think cameras can see me dancing. I am not in the privacy of my parents' house in order to put on a show. What a human rights violation!

Guess what I saw on PBS last night! It was an episode of NOVA called "Making Stuff Smarter." Did you know that the right mix of cornstarch will let ANYONE walk on water? It was so awesome. I see walk-on-water parties in my future.

That half hour of dancing really cheered me up last night. It is so good for the body and soul. There is no room to dance in my bedroom, and it is far too cold to dance on my balcony. I am still glowing from it. Clearly, I cannot stop talking about it.

SynSyn, I hope you had a happy birthday. I am putting something together to mail you. Someday soon our phone calls to each other will go through... Better yet, someday soon we will be allowed to see each other. You are my BFF. No one could ever nor will ever replace you in my life. Watch the mail. Imagine that, of the two of us, I became French first. Who saw that one coming?

Sweetness, I agree. To clarify: As long as you have a plan on what to do once we finally get to be together, I am just going to go with it. I am a chronically easygoing woman, as long as I have my human rights. Whatever you want to happen once I get my human rights, I am agreeing to it now. I know I can trust you. Watch your mail on Monday! Happy Valentine's Month and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Where that Vampire Thing Came From...

What does today's blog post bring us? Let us hope it brings us closer to my human rights. Hello, human rights? Where are you hiding? Are you nearby? Someone needs to remind Obama that human rights violations are not only unConstitutional but also impeachable offenses. He is so arrogant; he thinks he will get away with it.

Well, we seem to be making some progress with taking care of our world. Let us hope we make more. This is still not enough, people. But these are a few very good steps in the right direction.

As for that silly rumor about my being a vampire, did you ever wonder where that came from? Well, my skin naturally produces glitter. That and I once sat in this very same spot in Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day) with my old high school friend Ms. Erin Perry. She asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I could be an actress. I could be a singer. I could be a spy. Well, I looked over my left shoulder and dead into the eyes of a man who could have easily been Robert Pattinson. Sigh... So, I said to my friend quite jokingly yet appreciatively that I wanted to be a vampire. Vampirism, after all, is just a kissing disease. It was a joke, but you people take things like glitter so seriously.

As for Seth Rogen, he knew I recognized him. Why did he lie to me? I also recognized Justin Timberlake at that piano bar in Des Moines. I have such stories I could tell. Maybe someday when I have my human rights, I will be able to tell them. You know, Axl, you are starting to look a little like a sensitive ponytail man. I just thought I would warn you. Oh, and Eminem (That was you, was it not?), I should have had that drink, but I had to run off and write a blog post to save the world. I hope you understand. We will have another chance. Just get me my human rights.

"He also assured Egyptians that they should not fear arrest for speaking their minds." When will such bravery and freedom reach the United States? You, Americans, are oppressed. Stand up for yourselves. Organize. And refuse to comply. I cannot have my human rights unless you insist on yours. You are supposed to have the freedom to associate and assemble. You are supposed to have freedom of speech. We are all supposed to have freedom of the press. Obama's human rights violations affect us all... not just his persecution victim, me.

Sweetness, I had a dream last night of you, me, a sailboat, and a vast starry sky. I know you are doing everything you can. I am doing everything I can, too. If this is not over in a few weeks, we can all expect me to hunger strike. This existence of mine is miserable in every way. What is a little extra suffering if it means it might finally end?

Hippie Peacemongering and Environmentalism is Enclosed...

I wonder sometimes what it would be like to lead a simpler life... With the world what it is, I will never have that freedom. My dream, open-air, beach bungalow will need an internet connection. Though, if I had not promised to carry humanity through global climate change, I could get away with about an hour of facing the world through the internet a day to keep the peace as best I can. Would that be nice? About an hour a day of me sitting on a couch with my Sweetness beside me while I talk to information providers through my webcam... Solutions are always so much simpler than most people realize. Sigh... I wonder how my Sweetness would feel about that. Regardless, I do not plan on fading away once I get my human rights.

Here is an article that feels like it was written by a Midwestern man. I never had worse luck with dating than in the Midwest. In Iowa, I should have stuck to single, old high school friends. But, they all have pretty much left the state. In Chicago, I should have dated my bartender or the boy next door. The people who actually made it out to drinks with me were less than savory egotists with less manners than a stable animal. Well, except for the physicists... there was an astrophysicist who was a sweetheart and a nuclear physicist I should have given a second chance. Anyway, my type is much easier to find in California. I like them intelligent (and largely self-taught) with a strong personality and more than a touch on the socially awkward side. That's my type. Hee-hee... and I take my coffee hot, strong, and on the kitchen table. I find life with my perfect mail-order husband would be better if we were actually allowed near each other. That is my only complaint there. Tell Beyoncé he put a ring on it.

Look! Egypt is making progress! They are both sustaining their nation and demanding reforms. I hope their new nation comes to them. Egypt, do not settle for less than you deserve.

Oh, my oceans... This causes me pain. (I have been so run down lately... as if my energy were sneaking off somewhere else to do good without my conscious direction.) We, as the human race, the dominant species on this planet, need to take better care of our oceans. There will be no life on this planet if we lose the life in the oceans. We cannot ignore a planet screaming in pain.

Thailand and Cambodia, what is this? Is a border dispute worth this? Did you even try diplomacy this time, or did you skip it and go straight to fighting? I do not think you have it in you to live your whole existence war torn. Try finding a diplomatic solution. Define your borders with maps, not mortars.

Oh, Switzerland, I love you, too. Keep him running scared. Yet, look at that, he is safe from war crime charges in the States while his fellow torturer Obama is still president. I feel so much shame for America sometimes. Look at our president. Look at our oppressed people. So much for Obama being any sort of leader of any sort of free world.

The biggest terrorist threat the US faces is its own president. The Patriot Act should be repealed. The powers of the executive branch should be stripped to their original levels as spelled out in the US Constitution. How are we supposed to be a free society when we are terrorized by our own government? Privacy is a huge concern for me... as is due process... and all of the other human rights I am denied. This is not over until Obama is tried and convicted for war crimes.

Web 2.0 as a vehicle for social reform? You better believe it! I have long believed that if people could just get to the truth, they would do the right thing. This is not the Information Age; this is the Communication Age. With friends as far away as your finger tips on your text message, facebook, and twitter features all day, it has never been so easy for those who embrace technology to be in touch. The truth has momentum, and it is getting around. Let us hope it gets some massive inertia, too.

Iron Maiden recently played Russia. Do you know the story behind their "3 Minutes to Midnight"? I believe it is about the Cuban Missile Crisis. I wonder if they could write a "4 Minutes Past Midnight" for me. Yeah, I know, it does not scan very conveniently... but I am sure they are up to the challenge. Or should I ask Wolfmother to do it? Hee-hee...

Oooooo...! Fireworks! It is the Chinese New Year, after all. I can make fireworks like that. I just need to eat food afterwards. It is one of the reasons I am hoping this can get resolved without my going on a hunger strike. What if something happens that requires a great deal of my energy? I wonder how much my beat-up body can generate on just on cup of coffee and one cup of milk per day. I can stand to lose the weight, but I cannot stand to lose the world.

I miss my home. I miss all of my friends all over North Beach. I miss Chinatown this time of year. Here, I have one mother. There, I have an entire support system of friends. If their facade is still about my healing, it would have been more convincing if they would have sent me somewhere to heal instead of under the thumb of my asshole of a father.

Too dehydrated lately...

I hope everyone had a happy Chinese New Year! My mom and I are planning on going to the area festival later today. Wear red, right? It could not get more inviting than that! I am hoping we do not miss the lion and dragon dancing.

Mom wanted to go grocery shopping at Wal-Mart last night. Personally, I prefer to support local... or at least a store that will bag in paper if asked... but Mom likes Wal-Mart, and she was the one buying the groceries. Anywho, it helped me come to terms with the fact I have simple needs in this world. I eat vegetables. I prefer whole grains. This time of year I like conversation hearts. I want all those who have wronged me to pull the plastic from the oceans and build sustainable housing with it for the masses. I need my human rights. Am I really asking too much of this world? I think not.

I am toying with the idea of a hunger strike until I get my human rights back. I am thinking coffee and fruit juice only until this bullshit ends. Do not get confused; I am not yet on a hunger strike; I am still researching hydration of fruit juices... maybe coffee and fruit smoothies. Fruit smoothies are so much more hydrating. I could stand to lose some major weight, and I REALLY NEED MY HUMAN RIGHTS! I wonder if my parents have a blender. I refuse to drink protein shakes; this is a hunger strike not a diet.

I had the intentions of dancing last night, but they put a camera on their dance floor. Alas, that is the best way to stop me from dancing... sigh. I will probably go on a dancing binge before my hunger strike. I will not be able to dance while I am starving myself.

I have been so dehydrated lately. It is because of all of the crap in the water around here. I never felt better than after drinking a line of fruit smoothies, though. They really put the liquid back in my body. Do you think they used yogurt? I think that might be the trick to the super-fast hydration. Yogurt and coffee only...?

Sweetness, do not freak out. I am not going to kill myself. I am not going to dehydrate myself. I am just planning a hunger strike until I get my human rights back. I am not yet hunger striking. I just need to do a little research. You are not going to lose me. I love you to much for that. I need my human rights, though, including the freedom to be with my own husband. I'm working on it.

My Creaky and Beat-up Old Body...

My body is feeling its beatings today. I am all creaky and stiff. I am sure a good session of dance therapy would do me good; I wonder if anyone is playing tonight. If I could just get my joints and muscles to warm up, I am sure the cracking and popping noises would stop.

No, that is not cappuccino foam at the tip of my nose. That is a scar. There is still active spy equipment in my head. It is the speakers in my ears I hate the most.

Why is this not over, yet? I am tired of being persecuted. What? You do not know what I am talking about? Oh, really? It is all just in my head? Stop being the problem. Organize and refuse to comply.

On the absurd side of things, despite headphones and glasses, I still look like a teenager...

It just is not fair. I am 33 years old, but my body feels like I am 300... and my face makes me look 13. I over-tip when I get called ma'am or madam instead of miss. I am old. I deserve the respect that comes with it.

I have been light-headed and giddy all day from being in love. It is probably a good thing I feel like I am flying because I doubt my knees could hold me up otherwise. Oh, Sweetness, check your mail on Saturday. You have all the love and energy my beat-up, old body can generate. Treat me gently.

Bigger than Humans, Smaller than God

I do not compromise nor negotiate with terrorists. No one should. I do not care if that terrorist is the current president of the United States of America.

Okay, people, we need to talk about the environment. Yes, we are in a huge geologic cycle that is heating up the planet, but that is no reason why we should not do all we can for the environment. Quite the opposite, it means we should do all that much more to make sure humanity can survive this. We need to clean up the air. We need to clean up the growing oceans. We need to find sustainable living for all of us.

Global Climate Change is bigger than humans but smaller than your Western God. This is not the book of Revelations, but it is still bigger than anything we as humans can undo. We need to adapt to our new surroundings. This will keep changing. We need to get ahead of the weather. We need to get ahead of the flooding and snow. We need to get our brains around what a warmer world means for food production, infrastructure, disease, etc... If I had my way, we would even move all of our cities out of flood plains... but I fear generations of flooding and ruin are the only things that will move you. People can be so stubborn.

Speaking of weather, it seems the winter snow storm skirted the Des Moines area once again. We made it through with only seven inches of snow and a few hours of gusting winds. Right now we have cold, drifts, and a windchill, but this is nothing compared to what so much of the rest of the country has endured. I hope you are all taking care out there in the cold.

As for this crazy notion of expanding the president's powers even further... Why would you? Do you not think that the US president's office has enough expanded powers to overstep any effective and timely balance of power? Instead, Congress should really be thinking about repealing the Patriot Act and restoring Americans' human rights and the original checks and balances of the US Constitution. Let's give the Constitution a chance.

This should be common knowledge by now, but I am a firm supporter of gay marriage. This is for many reasons, but at our most basic, we as humans are equal. Women and men are equal. Any place in the law where the word 'man' appears, 'woman' is interchangeable. The state of Iowa might soon be facing a vote on a marriage amendment that hopes to limit the definition of marriage to 'one man and one woman.' If 'man' and 'woman' are truly equal words in the eyes of the law, it should limit nothing if it passes. Let us hope logic and equality prevail.

Sigh... this brings me to health care. Nobody actually wants to be caught without health care. Instead of making health care mandatory and having it punishable by law if you cannot afford it, why not make health care affordable? Then, since everyone can afford it, everyone will have it. Obama does everything wrong. I have a sneaky suspicion he was actually trying to bury the economy.

I spent the last few days ordering beach dresses online and baking cookies. I look forward to leaving the hell that is my parents' house for my real home. I am working on it. I know you all are, too. Stay warm at the Superbowl.

Do you all remember my old friend Cuddlebunny? Yes, you might all be wondering what on Earth could have made us such good friends. He sincerely changed and repented. Not once did he try to befriend me to cover his own ugly, skinny backside. I cannot save those that still actively persecute me. Cuddlebunny sincerely underwent a change of mind and heart. I gave the UK nine months to redeem itself, and the British people still attacked, tortured, and harmed me. Obama is trying to cover his ass. My dad broke the law to take away my freedom and autonomy and just wants to hangout with movie stars. After all I did to save them all, the only one who turned to the good side was Cuddlebunny. There seems to be a limit to the power of my benevolence. And I am only benevolent.

Egypt, you as a people are peaceful. It is the supporters of the current president who are violent. Yes, you should always defend yourselves. Please be careful out there, though, and stay on the moral high ground by being as peaceful as you can. Stay united. Stay organized, and you will see your beautiful new Egypt. Accept nothing less.

Sweetness, thank you for being my 'Player 2' (as the video game geeks like to call it). I have the easier path in this. I married a movie star. You, Sweetness, you married a nerd... This might be a challenge for you. Thank you for putting up with all of me. Check your mail on Saturday. I will be stopping at the post office tomorrow. Love,... ah, sweet love... Happy Valentine's month!!!