I am Almost Dead.

Preface: Same as always... Make sure you favorite or bookmark frisco-squid.blogspot.com, so you can check this blog regularly for new posts. Please read and share them all. Yes, yes, share all my blog posts yourselves!

Here is my latest blog post. I am dying. Iowa is going out of its way to kill me. Save me. Please save me. Please save me before the evil that is Iowa destroys me completely. If my mother Dina loved me, she would have given me back my passport and driven me to Canada by now. I have no one in this hell hole anywhere.

Boston, MA, USA. You are a kind, courageous people, Boston. Ready to help people in need. We will need to figure out what happened, so everyone can heal. Never let terrorism terrorize you. That is what the terrorists want. That is how the terrorists win. I cannot wait to see how big and beautiful next year's marathon will be.

As for my life, I really need my husband. I am hanging on by my fingernails. I am barely hanging on in here at all. I need to heal, and the only thing that will make me heal is my husband. They have fought so hard to take him away from me. He is the only reason I can wake up in the morning and do good in the world all day. Please let me heal.

My brave rescuers, I hear I have a set return date. None of this would have been possible without you nor without your bravery. You put your life on the line to rescue me. I will never forget you. I will work everyday to make this world worthy of you and your sacrifice. When you get a chance, tell me what you want in your freer and more beautiful world. I will not disappoint.

My beautiful world, I am a mess. The Iowa jack(expletive) brigade refuses to stop. They keep going out of their way to ask me my name and to pretend I do not matter in the world. Something needs to kick Iowa into line, and you are the only people I have to ask for help with this.

Please, my beautiful world, get into Des Moines and beat the locals over the head with reality. Force this land of (expletive)ers to treat me like a human with full human rights and with the dignity and respect I am due. I need you, my beautiful world. I need your help. They are killing me.

SynSyn, what can we do about a court injunction to end the bubble completely? I am dying in here. Iowa has chosen to kill me to make Obama happy. These people are so EVIL. I have never met a more heinous people in my life than the people of Iowa.

Since the obvious stood up in court, that is, since I was found innocent in the highest court in the land, there must be something the courts can do to force the bubble to end. Please do not confuse this with any sort of superficial and misfounded suspicion of murder as ever being an excuse for publicly persecuting, raping, and torturing anyone anyway, even if she were guilty.

My BFF, I heard a rumor I have a set return date, but will it come before Iowa destroys me? Please do everything possible as you wield the 'Power of Squid' for me to get me a rescue ASAP. Please be all over the courts to get an injunction to force the bubble to come down. I need a rescue, Synny. I am almost dead in here.

Sweetness, I put a letter in the mail to you sealed with a kiss Monday afternoon. I thought you might want a little reminder of how much I love and adore you. Darling, I know and understand I get to sleep with other people just like you do. There is just no one appetizing around here.

Darling, you do not need to worry about my sleeping with anyone else. I am worth a real effort to be with, and the locals are mortified of being nice to me. Basically, there is no one willing to move heaven and earth and take on the president to be with me but you. You win the girl. I have no idea what I did right for you to love me as much as you do, and you win the princess.

My beloved, you are my hero, my king, and my reason for living. You are the only force in this world that can heal me. And knowing you love me is the only reason I can wake up in the morning and do good in the world. Once you finally come my way again, I will take great pride in keeping you very happy for the rest of your life. You do not need to worry about whether or not I love you. And I apologize for not reminding you often enough for you to be restful and contented.