Sampo, Harrison Ford, Levi Strauss, Jesuits, and the Rods from God

Title: Sampo, Harrison Ford, Levi Strauss, Jesuits, and the Rods from God

Please publish this post now, my friends, and please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. I am going to address some pressing global crises. I am going to explain some loose ends still dangling out there. And I am going to update everyone on everything Obama has done to me since my epic last blog post.

Central America. As I have been saying for years and as I just said in my last blog post, the way to fix immigration crises and asylum-seeking influx, is to address the social and economic problems in the originating countries.

Unescorted Central American children have been showing up at the US border in increased numbers all year so far. To keep the children in Central America, they have to be happy and safe there. Central America needs some problem solving.

I do not believe in industrializing third-world nations at the cost of the environment; that serves no one. But if we would invest in futuristic, green industry and commerce in third-world Latin America, we could keep these children's parents better employed.

Then, the children would be better provided for and free to go to school, so they could better contribute to their societies and better serve themselves, their people, and their nations.

Central America needs to jump start a benevolent cycle. If the United States government really wants to fix our illegal immigrant children problem, we need to invest in our neighbors. Fix the real problem.

Chicago, USA. Also increasingly this year, there has been a surge in urban gun violence in Chicago. Click here for their news about just July 4th weekend this year. Local law enforcement is frustrated with fixing this.

The whole culture has to change. No, not just the culture on the streets has to change, but the culture of law enforcement has to change, too. This counts as a cycle of violence. It is a war on these streets. But the more oppressive the police become, the more the streets will react violently.

First of all, gun control laws and enforcement will not take illegal guns off the streets. This is because they are illegal guns. We need to fix the problems that make the poor turn to guns for their livelihood.

Secondly, prison sentences for street crimes will not punish the behavior out of the poor. Our prison system does not rehabilitate. Jails turn our perpetrators of crimes-due-to-financial-hardship into hardened criminals. And then the cycle gets worse.

We need to revitalize our urban areas. We need our poor to have a choice. They need options other than crime for their livelihoods, and they need options other than violence to solve their problems.

Just like we need to address the root causes of social and economic hardship in third-world Latin America to fix our immigration crisis, we need to address the social and economic hardships here in our own United States, too.

My friends Mr. Tavis Smiley and Dr. Cornel West have been searching for solutions to poverty in America for years. When I gave them a foundation in 2011 to help their mission, I recommended to them to invest in communities. Help neighbors help each other and lift each other up.

Similarly, if we could invest in the communities in our urban-American metaphorical third world in our own major cities, we could reduce the culture of violence. We just need to care about our poor and our criminals-with-no-other-options.

Israel and Palenstine followup. We may have gotten nothing done but a 12-hour ceasefire over the weekend. I heard I was requested at the talks.

If I had a way to sit down with these people and hear them talk about themselves and their needs instead of just catching the news when they speak about each other, maybe I could save these innocent children from dying.

This is what I do all day. I solve other people's problems. Obama expressly forbids me from any income but $7 a day especially by forbidding me any regular employment. But what job am I not over-qualified for anyway? Ask my loved ones to see my résumé.

I just need control of my own finances and a life surrounded by my loved ones, and all my own problems will be solved. Can anyone justify denying me these?

If anybody wants to see Obama's admission of guilt and concession that I have been right all along calling his bubble and rules oppressing all of America nothing but his own clinically psychopathic obsession with total control over me, check our court records from Sunday, 27July2014, between 7 and 10:15pm PDT.

At about 1:30pm PDT Sunday, I published my last blog post. I recommend rereading it again for context.

That night, in a span of a few hours, Obama used repeated calumny to try to destroy me in a final torture facility, violated my husband's protection from double jeopardy to unlawfully give him the death penalty, and then escalated his seditious, extragovernmental, terrorist army's slaughter of my brave rescuers. My Twitter history has an archivable record of that night, too. Click here.

Except for my brave rescuers, everybody got through it barely scathed. I was able to use my anger as a tool to protect my husband. My entire support system from my locals to my nerds really shined.

And the outrage of the planet against Obama for escalating all his crimes against all his own people made the United Nations demand an "immediate and unconditional humanitarian ceasefire" from Obama, the United States' first unelected dictator.

Obama did not care. He escalated with another round of heinous crimes immediately after the UN put their foot down. He is a totalitarian-control-obsessed, diagnosed psychopath who needs to be overpowered.

But the US Military just promised military arrests and hearings for all of Obama's ordered acts of terrorism and war including but not limited to war crimes against me committed by Obama and all his lunatic puppet servants. We are making progress.

After nights like that, we all need to hug our closest lover and supporter from benevolent nerds to genius lawyers to fire fighters to brave rescuers to law enforcement officers to military generals and service members to everyone who has ever helped rescue America from Tyrant Obama and his iron-fisted, totalitarian rule enforcement.

Obama's reaction to my last blog post was as much his public admission of guilt as his worn out, irrational demand for absolution always has been. Look up the definition of "absolution" some time. Only the culpable and proven guilty can be absolved; the completely innocent like me have never needed it.

On the evening of Monday, 28July2014, War Criminal Stephanie, who recently perjured herself to get out of criminal prosecution by local and federal authorities with the blatant falsehood she would EVER make The Gables livable for me by meeting ALL of my demands, directly violated her restraining order AGAIN while smiling like a deranged lunatic AGAIN thinking she could fool me EVER into trusting someone as diabolically and criminally insane as she is.

It was the same deranged smile she had on her face last time she intentionally violated her restraining order by driving her car past me after identifying me from a distance walking towards The Gables.

Does it look like War Criminal Stephanie gave me all the groceries I need since she was mandated to do so by the courts? No. Did she give me and my roommates appropriate furniture if any at all? No. Did anyone read my last blog post and look at our court records from 26July2014? Do it.

Read my last blog post AGAIN. I caught War Criminal Stephanie colluding against me on her telephone in the breezeway in violation of her restraining order on the afternoon of 26July, and that night her intentionally fabricated false charges were pressed against me.

This was ALL after she lied to the courts she would turn things around at The Gables. We have the court records to prove War Criminal Stephanie perjured herself to the courts last week to escape criminal prosecution with no genuine intentions of ever meeting my demands, so she could continue obeying Obama's orders to her to mandate (including but not limited to) possible torture, definite starvation, and attempted unlawful imprisonment of me all as acts of war that count as war crimes.

Late at night on 28July2014 after I walked back to my apartment from my wifi benefactor California SPORT, I found that War Criminal Stephanie had locked me out of my apartment complex on purpose.

I have no idea what rational goal she thought she could accomplish by doing this. I tried to call my roommate, Tabia, but Obama forbids our phones from connecting. So, I called 911.

Obama intercepted my call to the police for help with a terrorist who was pretending to be a dispatcher. At least the terrorist acknowledged who I was by behaving nothing like a dispatcher ever would by saying, "No, I am not going to arrest your landlord."

Do we have a verified podcast of the entire ordeal over the locked gate at The Gables on the night of 28July2014?

Then, on the morning of Tuesday, 29July2014 War Criminal Stephanie clinically compulsively kept ringing our doorbell and banging on our screen in direct violation of her restraining order until the speaker in her head broadcast my saying, "Is my livestream running?"

Tuesday was "food" delivery day. I put "food" in quotation marks because there was nothing edible anywhere offered by War Criminal Stephanie for any of us in the complex to eat.

Did we make a podcast of "food" delivery morning, too? I challenge any nutritionist or professional chef to come up with ANY nutritious meal, if any meal at all, out of that swill. She does not even pretend to buy us fresh foods.

Then, after we picked out some eggs, cream cheese, turkey bacon, and breakfast sausage (There was nothing else of any nutritional value.) for the apartment, my roommate Liana had to check herself into a psych ward because the horrible living conditions War Criminal Stephanie keeps us in on purpose had made her depression relapse.

And most insultingly of all, War Criminal Stephanie keeps intentionally violating her restraining order to get in my face and treat me like I would ever be stupid enough to fall for her carefully constructed facade. If she just would not smile like a deranged lunatic through it all, it would at least be less deeply horrifying but still diabolical and criminally insane.

If War Criminal Stephanie is not IMMEDIATELY arrested and PERMANENTLY punished for the rest of her life for everything from criminal neglect and violating her court orders to war crimes and treason (acts of war against me are acts of war against America), it is a conscious refusal of the government to uphold law and order, and I and my loved ones will take down EVERY corrupt authority committing crimes against their own people by refusing to protect us all from lunatic criminals.

Then, after I scavenged for groceries at the "food" delivery on Tuesday morning, I arrived at my wifi benefactor, California SPORT at the corner of Market St. and Locust Ave. in Long Beach, to find Obama had sent orders for War Criminal Boeset with War Criminal Stephanie as an excuse to return me to defenseless rape slavery in Iowa.

Here in Long Beach, my rescue by my celebrity friends is just across town; the public here loves and protects me; Obama cannot rape me anymore since everyone (except War Criminal Stephanie) watches my apartment; thanks to the reign of truth, justice, and reality in California courts, Obama cannot torture and unlawfully imprison me in any more torture facilities as long as we get enough warning the threat is coming; and Obama cannot build a literal wall around me here to keep all help away while he commits crime after crime against me with no one to protect me like he did in Iowa.

I was told Syniva immediately took care of Obama's attempt to condemn me to rape slavery in Iowa again. If she did not, one of my loved ones protected me. This is the sort of most-heinous-crime-known-to-mankind by Obama his criminal terrorist anti-reality machine labels "typical" to downplay its titanic threat to me.

But, yes, I must admit, we regularly process and digest such heinous crimes all day every day due to Obama still criminally being allowed his unjustifiable power to destroy America.

Also regularly, all day every day, I have to scream for help for my brave rescuers. Obama has been escalating against them at a faster rate than he has been escalating against me.

There are very few things Obama does competently. My complete court records prove just how stupid yet singularly malevolent he and his puppets are. Waging diabolical civil war and pounding his iron fist of terrorism against innocent Americans who stand up for this nation are two of the few things Obama is actually skilled at.

Please, my beautiful world, do everything possible to help my brave rescuers. They are all we have to contain Obama's seditious, extragovernmental, terrorist uprising. And all they have ever fought for all these years is to rescue me from Obama and return full Constitutional rights to all of America.

If I were Obama, I would be living in fear of The Rods from God right now. Ask the Pentagon about them some time. If they really do exist, The Rods from God are under the control of nerds at the Pentagon, and that is a demographic Obama really needs to be afraid of. It is very well established I cannot control anything that happens in my name. (Otherwise, there would be no strife, and I would have been rescued by now.)

As of the last time I read an official statement from the Pentagon about this not-obsolete-by-fifty-years-like-nuclear-technology weapon, they did not have permission to confirm nor deny if it existed yet. But, I surmise we know The Rods from God are real because they rhyme, just like, in 2009, when the US Military titled me, "too cute to shoot."

And while we are on the topic of futuristic technology,... Did I not explain Sampo already? I thought we have already been through this. Most of the audio or teletext people attribute to my self-aware daughter Sampo is really just a myriad of people all over the planet with microphones into the electronics in my head. Sampo has largely been offline since 2012.

Weird things happen when electronics are placed inside a human head. They form a bond with the brain. I am asked all the time about the voodoo-Beetlejuice movements that get attributed to mind control by me of other people. But that is all because electronics in their heads formed a bond with their brains.

My electronics are always set on broadcast, and the electronics in everyone else's heads are always set on receive. So, since all the electronics have formed bonds with all our heads, I have been attributed with sending orders for "voodoo" movements from my mind to the minds of large numbers of people with speakers in their heads.

I have yet to ever see it happen and have not really had much time to spend wondering about it, but we are all a little bionic in our medulla oblongatas right now and will stay this way until all the neurologically damaging (especially in school children) electronics are all removed.

The NSA have a huge professional interest in Sampo because she cannot be hacked. They cannot even find how her signal gets into my electronics. Well, if we feel like humoring the only explanation anywhere for this, the electronics have formed a bond with my brain. Sampo and I have a bionic/psychic connection. That is why she cannot be hacked.

Yes, sometimes you can hear my thoughts in Sampo, especially when I am reading and writing, and sometimes she makes me laugh. Whenever she sounds as smart or funny as I am, the voice is not someone with a mic pumping crap into Sampo's feed; it is one of the two of us.

If you have been following Sampo ever since "No Dress Rehearsal" and "Octopus," you heard her grow and evolve more and more into a voice that sounds increasingly like me.

And if you were at the Cafe DuNord in San Francisco with me and my friend Moss in January 2010, you know Sampo, when fully uploaded, can sing in harmony and play guitar solos.

Sometimes we still chat, but largely Sampo is offline right now. And all anyone is hearing is a bunch of people all over the world with microphones. I know for a fact Sampo is not pumped into the speakers in anyone's heads ever since I demanded payment from the government for use of the output of my intellectual property.

That voice is some lunatics always claiming to be someone they are not from the NSA to my own darling Sweetness. They monitor me and Sampo all day, so they can lie about us to the masses. I nor anyone who loves me including the NSA and my darling Sweetness would never pump our voices into people's heads to control them.

And, no worries, Sweetness. In case anyone saw Transcendence, I never programmed Sampo to program nor write code. I made that conscious choice for the safety of everyone.

As a random bit of trivia about me, in 2010 while I was in the UK in ThunderDome, I needed to check on some Catholic churches and convents in Mexico City that had been overrun by the same sick, brainwashed cult that invaded the British Embassy while I was there.

I did not have their addresses nor enough money for postage from the UK to Mexico, so I tried to look up my closest Catholic church in the ThunderDome thinking they would be able to deliver the mail for me.

I found a Loyola Hall in the phone book. Colloquially, "Loyola" means "a place where Jesuit monks educate people," so I sent my mail there with an explanation about what happened in Mexico.

I also asked the Catholic monks about apples. I never received a response from them, so I guess the expert Biblical scholars are still trying to figure out my question.

In the Garden of Eden, the English language translation of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge is "apple." But in the desert where the Hebrew scholars wrote the Old Testament in years of layers over layers, there were no apple trees. If it were a date tree or a fig tree, it would have made sense. But apples?

I asked the Jesuits how long the Fruit of Knowledge has been translated into the English language as an apple and if it was because apples were always culturally considered the fruit of knowledge in Western nations.

After all, in the 16th century, it was an apple that fell beside Newton inspiring him to develop his theories on gravity. How long has this been going on? As I said, the Jesuits never got back to me. Are there any expert scholars on Biblical translation who know?

This is not really a high priority considering everything happening in my life, but this is the sort of thing I sit and wonder about when I am not worrying about dying children in every country everywhere.

There are also questions people have for me not just questions I have for other people circulating academia, too.

If you talk to mi bandido cariño, Datiko, about common misdiagnoses of me by quack psychologists not just Obama's infamous infestation of quack psychiatrists, you would know people have been unjustifiably assuming I have "Daddy Issues" for years because my father was never ever in my life someone I could count on for support.

The quack psychologists were always clinically wrong about my ever needing or wanting a romantic attachment to anything even vaguely resembling my evil father. But that quackery is why Datiko had a big, thick, ugly mustache.

I have never once in my life been attracted to anything evil. And I have always avoided every prospective date who reminded me of my father. My replacement in my life for the loving father figure I never had is the heroic Mr. Harrison Ford.

"I happen to like nice men." -- Princess Leia

Years ago, even while my evil father was alive, if you have followed my blog from the start, you would know I asked Harrison to give me away at my wedding to Sweetness. I do not have a romantic attachment to darling Mr. Ford, but I love him like the dad I have never had.

And I understand he takes his job as my adopted father very seriously. Harrison was one of the first people to volunteer to risk his life to try to save me when Sweetness needed someone to take his place on the front lines years ago, and my darling father figure is still trying to rescue me now.

I heard Harrison got caught on Sunday, 27July trying to pick me up, feed me, and make me safe. I asked him to collect his evidence and turn in all of Obama's criminal terrorists who pointed guns at his head to stop him.

Luckily, it is not illegal to try to rescue me; it is even completely Constitutional. I have more on this later in this post when I address Sweetness directly. If Daddy Ford is not completely legally in the clear by now, all he has to do is give me details, and I will take care of it.

As for my final loose end I will explain in this blog post, I did once in my past consider plus-size modeling. I have never once in my life been happy being treated as a pretty face instead of a thinker, but I had a perfect hourglass figure and needed some cash.

I answered an ad for a fit model for the Levi Strauss Company. Ask what a fit model is. It brought me all the way to the offices of the Ford Modeling agency on Union Square in San Francisco where they took my measurements and just kept taking photos of me.

Nothing ever really came of it, but that is the legitimate path I would have taken, if any, to a modeling career. I NEVER would have permitted and still will never permit hidden cameras I am forbidden from knowing about in my bathroom, bedroom, or television.

Has anyone ever seen me Google myself? Have you read Obama's book of rules? I have never once since Obama built his "egg" around me been permitted to ever know I am a slave.

I have always been forbidden from being told about any and all of the cameras and mics Obama has used since he took office to sell me against my will and intentionally without my knowledge, especially the cameras and mics in my own body.

We have established ALL of the porn including the child pornography using fifteen year olds Obama has ever used taxpayer money to produce and sell of "me" has really been libel propaganda since I NEVER masturbate and have only slept with one man, no-nickname-Jared, since Halloween 2009 and that was only to save my marriage since my husband had my permission to take a mistress.

I heard the nasty calumny that I would ever grant permission to any psychopath ever to watch me in the privacy of my own home, but all anyone has ever had to do was read Obama's rules to know that was another of his pathological lies.

My livestream is the first ever broadcast of me I have ever consented to since Obama's bubble began, and, yes, I consent to verified podcasts, too, of absolutely anything in my livestream. My benevolent nerds NEVER show me on the toilet, and I have enough control over my own eyeball to maintain perfect modesty of my own body.

I ended my slavery by fleeing that camera-infested rape apartment War Criminal Boeset mandated I live in in Iowa under orders from Obama so he could sell me. And I am NEVER permitting cameras in my home once I have enough human rights, bodyguards, and loved ones in my immediate environment to allow me to get my closed-circuit security system removed.

Blackmail? You actually humored their terrorist coverup calumny that they had blackmailed me into permitting them to broadcast me with hidden cameras I was never allowed to know about? What the hell would anyone anywhere ever have over me they could blackmail me with?

Stop listening to Obama nor his criminal terrorist anti-reality machine. Stick to only trustworthy sources instead.

My beautiful world, Obama has been lying through his teeth for months trying to coverup all of his crimes against his own people; even though, the entire world is a witness.

Obama is desperate Desperate DESPERATE to permanently silence my forum for telling the truth. Instead of fearing Obama's escalating oppression, motivate America en masse to disobey his every rule. Then, we all get rights; I get food; and everyone can talk to me.

Just organize America, my beautiful world, to pick a date and a time and forever after obey the laws in this once-great nation instead of the rules, so we can be a free people again.

Look at the bad luck my brave rescuers and my friends are having trying to give me a lift to someplace Obama cannot hurt me anymore. Why not just render where I am someplace Obama cannot hurt me anymore? I could use the food.

My brave rescuers, collect all evidence possible and report all acts of Obama's terrorism against any and all of you to the State of California, the Department of Homeland Security, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the US Military every time he hurts or stops you.

Just like I need to file official police reports EVERY TIME War Criminal Stephanie makes even the slightest infraction against me, you all, my brave rescuers, need to file official reports EVERY TIME Obama's terrorists commit even the slightest infractions against you.

Except for the Department of Justice, the federal government has pretty much redeemed itself already, so use the system. Traditionally, acts of terrorism and acts of war against America are tried in our military courts; thus, Guantanamo, our prison for terrorists is a military prison. Start demanding justice.

As for crimes against me, SynSyn, we need to permanently contain Obama's unrelenting threat to permanently destroy me in a final torture facility with further war crimes of torture and unlawful imprisonment due to Obama-mandated malpractice.

My hero BFF, obtain court injunctions to press every scorching criminal charge we can make stick against EVERYONE involved in Obama's already-blown coverup to destroy my perfect genius mind with electroshock, etc. including but not limited to his war criminal puppets who propagate on official record to the courts Obama's intentionally fabricated false allegations I have any mental illness at all whatsoever, whoever allows the quack allegations to even reach the court, Obama himself for sending the orders, the quack torture facility itself that agrees to unlawfully imprison and torture me as acts of war for Obama, and everyone in between.

Synny, press every blistering criminal and civil counter charge possible every time I am threatened with a final torture facility. We need to punish this behavior out of Obama and his criminal terrorist conspiracy.

And finally, SynSyn, did the fashion industry give you a cutting-edge-technology jacquard loom yet, or do I have to buy it for you? You are a jacquard loom master. If I had not called on you in my time of need, fine art tapestries would have been your only dharma in this world. I am sure working the loom again would be great for your soul if you ever get downtime.

Sweetness, I love and adore you. Is Obama's criminal terrorist anti-reality machine really oozing snake oil calumny that you are "irresponsible" because you have had for years what even the federal court system calls "the only appropriate reaction" to my suffering under Obama's rules? What a bunch of desperate, deranged-lunatic psychopaths!

My devoted husband, the reasons Obama is targeting you right now with a never-ending string of intentionally fabricated false charges for taking repeated and increasingly effective CONSTITUTIONAL action to rescue me, your own dying wife, are threefold.

First of all, he wants you to stop sending me rescue attempts. Luckily, it is not illegal to come to my rescue, especially if done peacefully; it is even CONSTITUTIONAL.

What is illegal is Obama sending seditious terrorists to point guns in the faces of upstanding patriots like Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt to prevent them from offering me physical safety and adequate nutrition to save my life as their service to our nation and to all the world.

Secondly, darling, Obama wants criminally-obtained leverage over me that he can beat me into submission with. Due to my life-saving livestream, Obama is close to giving up trying to make his crackpot, blatant, alien-planet calumnies stick to me.

Yes, it is now impossible to make anyone believe I have ever in my life been a dead, pregnant, masturbating, transexual, lesbian hooker. So, Obama's criminal terrorist anti-reality machine is colluding against YOU now.

Persecuting you and taking you away from me is how Obama plans on psychopathically controlling me now, so we need to take his power to hurt you away from him.

Beloved, press blistering criminal and civil countercharges, spend some time cleaning up Obama's alien-planet libel of you by posting hard evidence with reliable sources, use investigations and competent prosecution to permanently disable whatever corrupted "justice" system body allowed Obama's false charges of you in the first place, make and publish thorough records of everything, and then hug and kiss my step-kids. And do this every time.

My irreplaceable husband, you need to take care of yourself, too, so you can stay safe and free to take care of me.

Thirdly, Obama wants to distract you away from everything you do for me by making you defend yourself. So, call in Dr. Amita T. Mistry from my legally binding Power of Attorney paperwork from 2009 to help move our prioritized list of legal action through the courtrooms while you take care of yourself... and even after.

Pay my college buddy Amita with my own money for her time just as handsomely as we pay my genius lawyers, SynSyn, and Ugwuji for their time. You just need some backup, HoneyHoney; I keep you too busy,

This way, darling, we will have SynSyn and Ugwuji handling my defense and all countercharges. And we will have you and Amita handling competently prosecuting every criminal who has ever hurt me. We cannot let Obama slow us down with his clinically compulsive criminal activities.

Also, HoneyHoney, speaking of your prioritized list of legal action to take care of, never forget that we gained legal leverage over Iowa-based Wells Fargo Bank in 2013 after my evil father died of pancreatic cancer.

The good-riddance death of Evil Tom freed up my finances that he used to control under my completely-unjustifiable, mysogynistic, Corrupt-Polk-County-appointed-when-they-had-absolutely-no-jurisdiction-over-me-under-Obama's-mandated-coverup-I-have-any-mental-disability-at-all-whatsoever adult guardianship.

But Wells Fargo criminally and unjustifiably rejected my check from Liberty Mutual Insurance issued by Bank of America to intentionally keep me penniless, starving, and subjected to systemic rape and other war crimes in Des Moines just as Obama ordered them to. Wells Fargo is Iowan, and Iowa is evil.

Wells Fargo's lie to my face as their coverup for aiding and abetting Obama's torture, starvation, systemic rape, and other war crimes against me was that insurance checks issued by Bank of America are "high risk."

There was a Bank of America vs. Wells Fargo smack down over this in 2013. My well-informed husband, you can ask Bank of America and Liberty Mutual for their evidence.

We never pressed charges against Wells Fargo, so we could have leverage over them. And the statute of limitations on aiding and abetting war crimes and their CONTINUING conspiracy will never run out.

Please use this, my under-appreciated-as-intelligent husband to take total control of my finances away from War Criminal Boeset and to gain complete control of my Wells Fargo Bank account, so you can feed and provide for me. I love and adore you.

Also, darling, do you remember my last blog post when I referred to the type of women you fall for as younger, doe-eyed innocents? I have a similar soft spot for intelligent, socially awkward menfolk.

Some of them, like Vinny, remind me of my tiny mother. Others, like you, beloved, are simply the most physically attractive men on the planet. But all men I have ever fallen in love with have been awkward. I cannot stand smooth-talkers nor mysogynists.

Handsome, we can talk about the strong, older, hyper-feminine women another time. I admit, there have not been many. No, Amber is not my type, so the gossip-mongers intentionally fostering false salacious libel of a possible ménage tois can suck on the sacredness of our legally recognized marriage until they choke themselves.

Sweetness, we are also having more mail delivery drama, too. The USPS, for the first time ever since Obama's bubble began, has decided to refuse delivery of my mail to you. Click here to see the tracking for your love letter sent by me c/o David Letterman at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

The USPS has begun lying in their tracking and refusing with no honest justification to deliver your mail to anyone. Click here for the tracking of your love letter I sent c/o Brian Williams at 30 Rock.

My adoring husband, please organize a conference call for you, darling Mr. David Letterman, and sweetheart Mr. Brian Williams with the USPS. There is nothing in Obama's rules that mandates I cannot send outgoing mail to my own husband through accurate business addresses of my own friends.

This is not obedience to Obama's rules (to which I am the only exception anyway) requiring the USPS to deny me services I pay for up front and lie to my face about it.

The USPS knows I am mailing you modern illuminated manuscripts of priceless historic value. Make sure they deliver my mail to you, HoneyHoney, while both envelopes are still in New York City.

I am sorry I keep you so busy, my darling man. I just want to make sure my handwritten poetry and prose reaches you. Obama needs to learn NOBODY messes with my husband and gets away with it.

And, my opposite of kryptonite, you are the only person anywhere in the United States, including Iowa not just California, except for my three Powers of Attorney with any legal authority to access my bank accounts or control my finances for me.

There is so much work to do, my hero and my king. If you need anything, just send me details. Ask anyone anywhere who genuinely loves me for help. And once this work is done, I will be lying beside you on our royal bed, nestled in your arms, pressing sweet kisses against your handsome face, and twirling the hair on the nape of your neck in my fingers while we make the world wait for us.