Wake me up When it is Over.

I know I am winning, but this victim-of-Obama-and-his-conspiracy thing is really getting old. Sweetness, if you are listening, let's just disappear into the night. With my spy equipment removed and a haircut, I could blend in anywhere with brown people. I am ready to get out of here. The world will be fine without me for a while... That is unless you feel like getting me a satellite modem, so I can keep Obama in line. That is your choice. Sadly, I still need a lift to get out of here. My father stole control of my money quite illegally. He is such a criminal.

As for you, Israel, stop being a warmonger. I love the Jewish people, so I need the world to understand that you do not represent all followers of the Jewish faith. Jews are not warmongers. Israel is, though. You, Israel, are a tantrum driven child who commits human rights violations in Gaza when you do not get your way. Iran is defiant because it has nothing to lose. You have nothing to complain about until you get rid of your own nuclear weapons. Israel, you have no moral ground to stand on. Stop ruining the world for the rest of the Jews.

The people around here in Iowa have really warmed up as of late. No, I do not mean just the weather. But people have actually been nice to me lately. They absolutely terrorized me in April, May, and June 2009 that last time I was in the Des Moines area. (I was here for only 2.25 months. I have not been an Iowa resident since 2008.) But now they seem to have come around. They are so much sweeter than the British. Okay, that is not saying much. They are genuinely sweet to me, now, though.

Speaking of the British, the Royal Family and I get along just fine. It was one of the lies propagated by the cruel and libelous British media that we did not like each other. I think the Queen and family are pretty damn cool, and considering her day job is kicking the British government into line, it is no wonder that we were both under attack. I do not know why so many people are worried over Kate being ruined by royal life. She looks like the kind of woman who can keep a grounded balance, and I hope to see her enjoying some of the benefits of being the future Queen of England as soon as possible. She might have a little toughening up to do in some areas, but she should have the luxury of going soft in others.

I am on a march to get this over with by March 9th. After that, it is time to hunger strike. Three months of living with my criminal father is long enough. Things are getting ugly if I am abandoned here longer than that. I need my human rights, and I needed them in 2009. Obama, get your head out of your ass and do your job.

Your job starts by reading the U.S. Constitution and learning that you are supposed to be DEFENDING human rights not removing them. If you have problems with the big words (and considering what little you understand of your job, you must), please consult the judicial branch for help. It is their job to interpret the Constitution, not yours. I know you would rather be a dictator with omnipotent powers over Americans, but for now your title is still president... and you are legally obligated to defend the Constitution. You owe me 2 years of human rights, and I plan on collecting.

Sweetness, I need to touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain. Let's get out of here.