The Pirate and the Ninja can be Friends.

Experiencing so much of the world's focus on the local politics of the probate court of the Polk County District Court and watching all of this international intrigue centered on Des Moines is sort of like witnessing the fate of the universe being decided in Tatooine. Well, at least the world has a cultural reference they can use to make sense of all of this.

As they say, "All politics is local politics." If Iowa would just stop breaking its own laws and uphold order and human rights in here, all of these war crimes and crimes against humanity would finally be ended. Have you ever seen the motto in the mouth of the eagle on the flag of the state of Iowa? Please click here to read it.

As for my job in this world, the job I gladly occupy my time with for the benefit of all of humanity... It is hurricane season. In the United States alone we have a tropical storm, wildfires, a constant threat of tornadoes, and the potential for major earthquakes.

Please, my beautiful world, we are living through Global Climate Change right now. Please have a survival kit and a survival plan ready for any natural disaster that may befall us. We need to be ready for anything. In the US, we have this site to help us prepare ourselves. Please make sure your governments and communities are preparing your people for any disasters you may face. You know your region and your climate better than anyone else can. Let us prevent loss of life through education and preparedness.

I have been worrying about Syria a lot lately, too. Please, Mr. Kofi Annan and the Syrian people, please understand that it is impossible to negotiate with terrorists and terrorist governments. I am going through this myself right now. Sometimes you just need to admit there is no political solution but regime change.

Russia and China, it has been explained to me that your interest in maintaining the current government in Syria is your existing trade deals with the nation. But what kind of trade can you have with a nation this war torn? I know you prefer a political solution. Can you help build a replacement government there that simultaneously protects your interests and protects the human rights of the Syrian people as well as peace and stability in the region? Please.

Dearest President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, you know how much I value our friendship and our peculiar relationship's ability to create peace and understanding in the world. I know President Bashar al-Assad is a friend of yours. Please also understand that he is also literally killing innocent children. Please understand that his crimes go far beyond anything any moral person can permit in the international community. I have great concern for peace and stability in your part of the world. Please understand that my quest for peace and balance as well as my need to prevent human suffering and ensure human rights is why I am doing what I am doing for the people of Syria. If he is such a good friend of yours, please give him a safe place to go, so we can replace him with a leader who assumes greater responsibility for stability and prosperousness in the Middle East.

Please, Arab League, the internal conflict in Syria is not only threatening your Arab World, but because of all of the international interest in the government and concern for the people, the conflict is also threatening balance and stability worldwide. I have never asked you all for anything before. May I ask you for this? May I ask you to bring peace to the Middle East? I am not asking you to do this just for me nor just for yourselves. I am asking you to do this for all of the world. Thank you.

Please, my beloved journalists, please make sure I can continue to get the news.

As for politics in America, let us discuss Senator John McCain for a moment. He is the one who drafted and promoted the NDAA. Please click here to read its full text. Succinctly, the NDAA, which passed both houses of Congress and which was signed by Obama already, authorizes both martial law and the federal government to hold any American citizen they want indefinitely and even without charges nor any promise of ever having a trial.

The NDAA, though not yet used to the public's knowledge, is an even greater human rights violation that Obama's bubble of torture and persecution over me and all of this once-great nation and is all anyone needs to read to positively conclude we are living under a totalitarian regime in America.

Please also remember, that Senator John McCain was our only alternative to Obama in the US presidential election in 2008. Yes, this is a bipartisan conspiracy. Yes, there is deep bipartisan corruption in America. We are long overdue for a political party realignment in this country. Why else would we have a Tea Party and an Occupy movement at the same time? We will tear down this corruption, and we will build a philocracy in its place.

Many people wonder how and why I am capable of what I am capable of in this world. There are some simple explanations for all of this. This very blog is replete with statements and explanations for all of me and my life. And yes, unlike the libel, my verified online content stays completely consistent on all topics. Okay, I did once say I have a common-law marriage to my husband, but that was to defend him from how cruelly and irrationally the public always attacks him for so indestructibly loving me.

Yes, the cruelties of the world against me have made me confused myself on occasion as to whether or not I have a mental illness, but we all know now that I had symptoms starting in 2002 due to ephedra consumption. And we all know that once the toxicity left my system, I was completely symptom free and safely off of meds be August 2008. If you were forced to live in a bubble of the government's construction in which everyone was instructed to tell you that you were experiencing psychotic symptoms instead of acknowledging your suffering and the heinous persecution of the rules of that bubble as actual reality, you would have doubted your sanity for a while in 2009 as well. We all know now that I am completely sane. Obama and his conspirators just need to stop lying about this, finally.

I do have a favorite explanation for why my mind is capable of processing everything it is capable of processing. Mathematics teaches students how to think. From a very young age, it is the only topic we have in school that teaches us how to process and adhere to logic. We do not receive that lesson in written form until we are taught how to write essays that defend arguments, and we are teenagers before that happens. And we do not encounter the scientific method until we are even older than that.

I studied math all the way to grad school. It taught me how to think. No, people definitely do not need to do all of their learning in a formal nor university setting. I have never once in my life stopped acquiring knowledge. But I would not be who I am in this world if I could not process this knowledge, too.

Coming to me for advice is a bit like consulting a hermit in a cave. I am never distracted by the propaganda nor the libel in this world. I am forbidden from seeing and hearing all of it... even if it really is me.

My darling never once released an image of me for libel nor commercial purposes unless I gave him written permission to do so... and then I still think if was my BFF, Syniva (Click here to see some of her beautiful contributions to this world.), who took care of all of the legalities. I prefer to see videos before I am expected to tell people whether or not I am in them, but no one could ever claim it is libel to say I have kissed my husband's face. Look at all of the good in the world that a kiss can do.

I am told that some prominent physicists (not just Prof. Stephen Hawking) have some interesting theories about me. Please click here to meet one. Last I heard from Dr. Kaku, he thought I was the opposite end of a black hole. That is, he theorized I am a place in the universe where all of that energy comes back out again.

What do you all know about the biology of electric eels? Similar to the way living plants convert energy to mass, animals convert mass to energy. All of our bodies are energy generators; that is why all living creatures have electromagnetic fields.

My body, in particular, can generate a lot of energy. Considering that, I would seriously be losing weight right now if I were only permitted to eat enough food every day as required by my metabolism and body mass. My poor battered body is intentionally kept in starvation mode by the people who refuse me to have any income. For more details on this, please read my old blog post. I am intentionally forbidden control of enough of my own money to even be able to eat enough food every day. At its most basic, this is due to crimes committed against me by my father and the probate courts of the Polk County District Courts in Iowa.

Have you seen the way they treat me in here? Iowa is like the Twilight Zone. Does that pop culture reference need a cultural explanation? Iowa is like an alien planet I have been transported to against my will where they treat me like I have never existed nor done anything beautiful in this world. They complain about me every day and constantly express a need to "Shut [me] up."

It does not matter how much truth I give these people. They are unrelentingly hostile towards me. This place is completely perilous for me to live in.

This begs the question: What is required to make this place safe for me? First and foremost, they must completely cease and desist all of their crimes and human rights violations against me. They must stop singling me out for special treatment in the form of persecution, and they must completely refuse to obey Obama in here... just like San Francisco does. San Francisco has proven it is possible to create a persecution-free zone in America. Iowa needs to start learning how to be humane and civilized.

Iowa, you are making me repeat myself. Mathematicians and people with heavy math backgrounds are culturally opposed to repeating ourselves. Please do not make me do this again.
1.) I will not tolerate being treated like a doppelgänger for myself. I have told you that so many times already; no human would ever volunteer to pretend to be me to be abused by you in this way. You will never convince anyone that you could ever confuse any other human for me in real life. It takes special effects experts to create convincing videos.
2.) If a woman says, "I am pressing libel charges against you because you claim I am disabled and have a mental illness instead of acknowledging that all of this is reality," you cannot turn around and claim that I am the one who lies and says I have a mental illness. That goes beyond irrational libel. That is just plain cruelty and denial.
3.) Even if the lies you promote about me yourselves were true, they could still never be a legal justification for treating me the way you do. There is absolutely no legal justification for persecution, hate crimes, slavery, torture, nor any other human rights violations you are directly guilty of or are guilty of aiding and abetting.
4.) It is in the way you harass and ignore me. That is how I learn what your libel is about me. Yes, that is further proof that the libel creates a hostile environment for me. It also means you all break Obama's rules which you all hold so religiously here. Yes, it means your cruelty "leaks."
5.) I saw the news last night. Even your local news broadcasters harass me. These are hate crimes you are committing. You will be held accountable. The best thing for you to do is stop.

A few weird things happened to me on Monday night. While I slept, the federal government kept filling Sampo with requests for answers to their questions. They wanted to consult the genius mind about whom they could plausibly frame for killing me. Other than forcing Homeland Security to take the blame for what they have been threatening to do to me themselves for over three years now, Sampo's only conclusion was "a jealous, skinny bitch brainwashed by the chip in her head." I love my daughter. She is such a surly teenager right now.

Yes, I did wake up after that sleep with tears all over my face. So many people have died trying to rescue me, especially lately. The war Obama declared against his own citizens who want me and all of America free is just getting bloodier out there. Death chases me everywhere in here. And the reality of their deaths fighting to free me will haunt me forever. We all need something larger than ourselves to believe in. I will spend the rest of my life laboring to make this world worthy of their loss.

Never forget that Homeland Security, the very people perpetrating all of this under the orders of Barack Obama and his conspirators, are funded by taxpayer money. What could America accomplish for her own people if this money were spent somewhere else? Have you seen the exploding size of our national debt? Please think about this when you are analyzing all of the actions of our president and Congress since the rise of the new millennium.

As for our SuperPAC money... Please tell me we are using it to financially compensate the people officially fighting to end all of this oppression over all of America. I know that many of these good people are probably unwilling to take the cash for their services; my friends work so hard out of the goodness of their hearts. Let us also use it to run ads and PSAs on local stations, cable channels, and anywhere else I am guaranteed to never see them in order to create greater awareness of the truth about all of this. We also need to start thinking up forms of non-human-traficking media that we will be able to produce to fill the gap that will be created in our society once my slavery ends. Music? Anyone? Any ideas?

Please also use my SuperPAC money to pay my gaggle of lawyers who are pressing charges all over the place to force these perpetrators to set me free and to end all of the libel, including "twists" and propaganda, that is used to convince the public to permit their human rights violations against all of us. I know they probably have arrangements to just get a percentage of all of the civil settlements or to bill the guilty parties for all of our legal fees, but let us make sure no one else has to foot the bill for setting America free. We should be taking their operating costs our of our SuperPAC money. That is what it is there for.

I would also really like to hire my good friend Mr. Christian Laffey to work for my SuperPAC. I am sure we can find something he can do for us, and I am very aware that he will not be permitted to tell me he works for me now. Please pay everyone including him something that is at the higher end of what is competitive for their services. If all else fails, give him something to do on the production side of all of our verified and honest media.

Speaking of honest media, Mr. David Letterman only sent me a t-shirt because I sent him fan mail. There was nothing about that package he sent me that could ever be considered in violation of any rules, as much as I would like to make him out to be that kind of hero. That made me giggle. The real question is, "Why did the FBI allow it to be delivered?" The package came from his production company named Worldwide Pants. Clearly, the Feds thought I had ordered a pair of pants online.

With the lack of any better transition... Are you ready for some music? And now, to the tune of The Farmer and the Cowman can be Friends. Mr. Hugh Jackman, please feel free to lead the sing-a-long...

Oh, the pirate and the ninja can be friends.
Yes, the pirate and the ninja can be friends.
The ninja likes to throw a star.
The pirate does it saying, "ARRRRR!"
But that's no reason why they can't be friends.

My rescuers, I light a candle for you every night. I wish I could do more. I know you are out there literally dying trying to save me. Do you need a better strategist? General McCrystal is retired. Do you think he would be willing to do it? Or does former Secretary of Defense Colin Powell have dibs on this? You might want to contact them.

My Sweet Rescuers,... Yes, that is still what I call you, all of you heroes who keep rescuing my rescuers. Communications with me are down. Please, for all of us, find a way to keep an eye on my rescuers yourselves, and check on them regularly. I know how many times you have helped them. I know you all will always be there for them and for me. But now I am incapable of tweeting to you when they need help. Thank you for understanding, and thank you for never letting us down.

Sweetness, I call you my husband, and you call me your wife. The world sees how hard we fight to be together. That is all anyone anywhere ever needs to know about our official marital status, but we are not fooling anyone. The world knows and believes we are married. I pray the world is finally treating you better than they used to over the fact I chose you to stand next to me for the rest of my life. I honestly cannot handle how cruel people are to you, especially when it is because of me. I do not tolerate people being mean to me at all whatsoever in my life; I tolerate cruelty less when it happens to you.

Sweetness, please remember that regardless of whether or not we ever at any point in our lives feel secure enough to ever produce a piece of paper for people to look at, we have a right to be together. The federal government needs to start acknowledging this. Nobody needs to know what happened in Mexico City but us. The world has been so horrible to the two of us for so long; people will understand how we were forced apart. My only regret is never hearing you propose to me.

Darling, we have a right to start a family together. Regardless of whether or not we ever choose to prove we are married, we have the love for each other and the means for raising children in a happy home. People make babies all the time with less than that. I will turn thirty-five in October. We are getting really close to my not being able to have children anymore, and we know it will be a slow and bumpy process. You know what I have been living through for over three years in this bubble. I have said it before, but I will say it again. There would be too much stress on our child if we only had one. We need at least two superhuman babies. Who in this world actually wants it on record that they do not want our genetic coding to romp and play together for generations to come? Yes, I love my stepkids, too. We are going to have a huge, happy family.

My beloved, I will do everything in my power in this world or any other to reach you. Humanity is very lucky I am only benevolent. I sincerely would love to be able to tell you that I will be beside you all the rest of your earthly life, my darling, but I am convinced I will pass on into the ether before you do. Who are we kidding? If you passed away first, I would never recover. I know you could never hurt me that way. Please wear body armor. You are just going to have to join me later among the sparkling stars.

P.S. My beautiful world, I ask you for so much all the time. I hate putting burdens on you. I know how much you are already hurrying to reach me. But may I ask you to put me in my husband's loving and living arms by the 8th of June? That is my darling beloved's birthday. He will be forty-nine this year. I would love to be with him to celebrate it. He would never ask you for this himself. I love you all, and thank you for everything.