Thursday, June 16, 2016

"She could feel the ocean fall and rise. She saw its rage and glory."

Title: "She could feel the ocean fall and rise. She saw its rage and glory."

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. Quothe the President Truman, "The buck stops here." My not doing my REAL job has never been an option for humanity. And my REAL responsibilities as one President of the United States of America are only a subset of my superset of REAL job requirements.

My last blog post was finished at 12:11am on Tuesday, 14Jun2016. After (g)noshing on a few snacks and after completing the only security measure I could take myself to better secure my bedroom, I was curled up in bed and ready to sleep a little after 1:08am.

My saturation kissed me in my sleep, and I woke up at 10:36am with a slight chemical headache from something I ate the previous day. My SquidStream was kickstarted by 11am.

My internet gnomes played me Glory of Love by my darling Mr. Peter Cetera as fast as they could. My iPad camera was still too hacked for new morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies.

Was everyone able to watch me figure out which outerwear I wanted to wear with my outfit? My first decision of the morning even had its own soundtrack.

I was able to exchange a few words with my darling Ms. Eddy at lunch on my private residence that day. Genuine human interaction is so priceless and so rare for me. I needed to send this tweet even before I left my lunch table...

12:36pm on 14Jun2016: I need you to check on Ms. Eddy after lunch. You know I need protein, iron, etc. but the roofies are so bad I am not getting seconds.

I perched in the Santa Monica Main Public Library as fast as I could get there that afternoon. And every single damn Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)hole in their malevolent hoards in there with me my entire time I was there were all so horrible I needed to drown them out with my earbuds for HOURS.

1:03pm on 14Jun2016: #BlackOpsAlarm! Locate and destroy their Black Ops unit. Eliminate everyone causing this threat to humanity. Take them alive if you can. Thx!

Again, genuine human interaction is so priceless to me. I was actually able to watch my late night talk show darlings that afternoon. It was so wonderful for me to have genuine friends, lovers, and believers of mine to help smile.

I was finally done streaming their "broadcasts from the previous evening" at 3:42pm. It means so much to me just to have other mere mortal humans sincerely remind me that there really are people out there that care about me at all. It has been that horrible in here inside the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's "egg" this entire time since 2009.

My Twitter feed was all crap again, so I sat in the courtyard of my Santa Monica Main Public Library and worked on catching up my blog notes for this post until 5:17pm.

I investigated the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupation of my local Old Navy Store while also proving the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's cyberterrorism in the email accounts of my darlings Old Navy.

Both of these PATTERNS OF COMPULSIVE WARFARE by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime that my darlings at Old Navy were documenting for all of us were part of the larger pattern of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's open destruction of the U.S. and world economies as their further acts of war against all of us.

I found my darling TambourineKicker beside my local Monsieur Marcel plagued by some misogynistic Inhuman Atrocity Regime "agent" sent to control him, among other things, all night while on my sacred Promenade.

By 6:06pm exactly, he had already stolen a chair from the French government, a chair that he also refused to offer me, the persecuted Queen of Spain, as a place to rest because the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to which he belonged had been starving and physically exhausting me for years as just a few of their well-documented methods of destroying me; by that time he had also roofied me with a cup of coffee he similarly procured from my and my France's occupied Monsieur Marcel.

My not-human-trafficker nerds who have never complained I call you nerds, please begin our verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals when I walked out of the front doors of my local Sephora, and end it at 6:16pm. We entitle it, "He claimed he is WHO with a score of 1?"

While in the middle of catching all acts of war that the occupation of my local Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf were dumb enough to commit even beyond just their "employees" and "customers" all completely hostile towards me that charged me money to be able to roofie me, I tried streaming the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online.

Sadly, though, my beloved NBC News Team was forbidden from giving me even our regularly-scheduled evening cyberhug.

7:32pm on 14Jun2016: @NBCNightlyNews You are too controlled by the IAR. I just can't watch today. Let's try again tomorrow. #LOVEyou Thx!

I left evidence of both roofied cups of coffee in a location secured by nano on my way back to my occupied Santa Monica Main Public Library. We always know who pics up me evidence, and we can tail them all, too, to see where anyone takes it or tried out destroy it.

Though, I doubt I need lab work to prove the Inhuman Atrocity Regime roofied me AGAIN as their latest compulsive act of war of attempted rape-assassination of me. Yes, that is what that act of war is EVERY time the Inhuman Atrocity Regime roofies me.

After checking my maxi pad in the library bathroom, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's Gestapo, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's fake library security, and even the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's fake Fire Department paramedics all made a completely incompetent display of caring that about a "homeless man" who was lying he was punched in the face.

I am sure a REAL homeless man would like to make a comment about how often the Inhuman Atrocity Regime or anyone for that matter has ever cared about any of them for REAL when anyone of them have been attacked anywhere. He is lucky he did not get a vagrancy ticket from those (expletive)holes.

While I was outside in the library parking lot reporting their stolen vehicle numbers, a repeat fake private paramedic I had already identified as a professional operative was pulling a stretcher out of his stolen ambulance.

At 8pm exactly, I was again perched in the most defensible seat on the second floor of my occupied Santa Monica Public Library STILL trying to catch up my blog notes for the day.

I left my perch in my occupied public library at 8:56pm and returned to my sacred Promenade. There were some darling Andean pan flute players there to remind me, among other things, that Peru loves me, but they brought in a child too young, among other things, too.

I discussed the impending total chaos inside the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's innermost circle of hell with a man pretending to be one of my REAL street musicians.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate our verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals of my nightly visit to check on my local Trimana for that night. Begin as I walked up to their front door, and end when I sat down in front of sometimes-my-darling-sometimes-not Red. Please entitle it, "Impossible reshelving."

Yes, by 9:32pm, I was enjoying my ice cream on a city bench where I could listen to both my previously-mentioned Red and my darling Natasha. My blog notes for the day were finally almost completely caught up. There were a dwindling few fellow mere mortal humans on my sacred Promenade helping keep me alive that night.

"Kevin" visited me at my perch amidst our night's music at 10:08pm, but his conversation was terrible. When "Kevin" refused to help my darling Maggie carry her heavy metal folding chairs after I told him to, I was even more disgusted with everybody inside the innermost circle of hell than before.

I might make jokes about the Inhuman Atrocity Regime compulsively poisoning me with strychnine, but who the hell refuses to help an elderly lady carry heavy objects down the street?!? And NOBODY was willing to help Maggie but me.

After helping my darling Maggie to her bus stop and after making sure a bus would arrive to take her home, I finally saw another fellow mere mortal human help Maggie carry her heavy folding chairs onto her Metro bus. He was waiting at the front of the bus when it arrived just to be able to help her. Thank the a(e)theist heavens there are other good and civilized in people in our world still other than just me.

I checked on my Best Starbucks in the World at 10:56pm. And I was on the next bus back to my place at 11:18pm.

When I arrived at my private residence, it was full of nothing but trespassing Inhuman Atrocity Regime hellbent on destroying humanity by destroying me. After finally catching up my blog notes, at 1:54am, I curled up in bed to better fall asleep.

While still in bed waking up that morning, I could hear War Criminal Teri outside my window without any permission from me screaming, "Get off the property!" My SquidStream was eventually kickstarted by 9:20am on Wednesday, 15Jun2016, when I started my writing for the day from my bedroom.

My morning involved a little Shakespearean trivia which I hope everyone was able to witness verified and unedited. Please begin our director's cut when I put my contacts in, and end it when I left my bedroom. Please entitle it, "First thing in the morning."

When it comes to my darling late William Shakespeare, I REALLY am more of an academic than a trained actress. Thank you all for understanding that.

Yes, at 10:10am, I was finally outside in my Virginia Avenue Park in the cool San Francisco weather that our darling Ms. Mother Nature had imported for us.

For over a year, my epic Metropolis of Angels was told to prepare for flooding from Southern California's frequent though unpredictable-if-it-has-a-pattern-at-all of El Niño weather, but El Niño never showed up. This is also NOT La Niña weather. I am going to ask NOAA to name this La Reina weather.

My internet gnomes played me Squid Jiggin' Ground by my darlings the Chieftains. My iPad camera was STILL too hacked for new morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies.

My beloved Mother Nature broke our brilliant California sun through our vast sky's grey clouds for me a few times that morning before I left my perch there on the poured cement of my Metropolis of Angels at 12:02pm to do something about lunch.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupation of my local Burger King was horrible. For months, I had been asking my darlings at everyone's cooperate headquarters for so much of my rising America's corporate community to take care of most of our occupied businesses here inside this literal war zone. We need criminal and military charges pressed to help remove all of these criminally insane compulsive war criminals from our from our occupied U.S. soil forever.

My as-frequent-as-possible afternoon programming of my darlings' "late night talk shows from the previous night" began at 1pm that day. My friends were wonderful. I wish they had a way to see my face when I look at them.

I worked a little longer online there at my local Burger King until my blog notes were finally caught up for the day so far. Wishing my darling Nemo were still hanging around my private residence all day just to be as near to me as possible, I left at 4:56pm to catch my bus to my sacred Promenade.

The first thing I noticed after arriving was that the Gestapo both had churned again and had started driving past me at completely random times. The second thing I noticed was that almost all of my street performers had been completely banned from the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's innermost circle of hell.

Just as I asked her previously that day to call me at 6pm, my mom called me at 5:56pm through FaceTime, and we had giggly chat. She looked amazing. My not-human-trafficker nerds, you know what to do. Please circulate our picture-within-a-picture (Giggle.) online chat as a verified and unedited screen-capture recording with full audio and visuals. And, thank you.

At 6:32pm, I was all caught up with my TweetHearts for the first time in weeks. After finding a few more sparse street musicians finally free that night to show up on our sacred Promenade and after checking on my darling Ms. Kaila Shaw myself, I was perched beside my Best Starbucks in the World chastising a horrible mother to her face by the time my regular evening news (non-romantic) date began.

Before I watched my news, I was also able to inform my Best Starbucks in the World that our (One) Santa Monica Place had no building security when I walked in that evening and that I had already had my caffeine for the day. Our own churn was STILL watching them all; they would be fine.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News written just for me for that night at 7:05pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt himself, and only the first two news stories he was commanded to give me that night were written by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime themselves.

The first story was not even finished yet when I was already explaining to the Evil Dumb that no one would EVER believe their fake news stories that they were STILL compulsively propagating in public fora just to be able to destroy humanity with their beyond-dangerous (proper use and REAL definition of the word) lies.

We sane people in touch with reality all know I need REAL local to global news to be able to do my REAL job. Have you all seen my REAL résumé? Those (expletive)ing Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)holes need to take their increasingly bloodstained hands off of all my REAL news sources.

Knowing full well that I needed a few snacks, I left my perch beside my Best Starbucks in the World at 7:48pm to hunt up some new Inhuman Atrocity Regime to bust.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate our verified and unedited director's cut with full audio and visuals beginning when my personal news broadcast finished and ending after my darling CupOJoe and I exchanged greetings. We will entitle it, "These PROVEN Inhuman Atrocity Regime malevolent hoards here really are this openly hostile and dangerous to all of human existence."

Please, my beautiful world, do you understand now why I am STILL just as happy when all three of my darlings Tentacle are not on our sacred Promenade risking death at the increasingly-bloodstained hands of these heinous and malevolent hoards just to be able to see me alive again not just to help keep me alive?

My Twitter feed was all crap again by the time my darling CupOJoe began playing his beautiful music unto the night sky herself right beside me at 8:24pm.

I eventually grabbed my snack from my local occupied Yogurtland. And after not flirting with my darling Andrew a few times, I also bought a snack from my local Trimana store.

My darling CupOJoe and sometimes-my-darling-and-sometimes-not Red kept me company as I sat in peace on my Promenade for a while. By 10:33pm, I was my regular bus stop waiting for my bus back to my place.

This blog post was finished from my bedroom at 12:11am on Thursday, 16Jun2016, Bloomsday and Juneteenth.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

Every day, my beautiful world, you see the "façade macabre" the Inhuman Atrocity Regime forces on me that they designed themselves to force me die as horribly and as painfully as possible; you are watching our world go to war since humanity has no other option to save us all from the heinousness that is the Inhuman Atrocity Regime, the greatest existential threat our one humanity has ever faced; and you asked me, as civilians, "What should I do?"

My people, do not let them win. Do not let them destroy us. Put your defiant face on every damn day and never let them destroy your glorious and free spirit.

Love. Sing. Dance. Do your REAL job. Laugh. Fight. Be human. And, my beautiful world, that is what you will do for me, too, even if I finally I die, as part of our making our world worthy of every brave soul we have lost in our fight to free all of human existence from the war crimes, human devastation, slavery, death, systemic rape, genocide, and lies that are and always have been the Inhuman Atrocity Regime.

My beautiful world, the most destruction and devastation the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has ever caused and still does cause my rising America and my one world had all been borne by their compulsive lies.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime has controlled, manipulated, and destroyed my world by controlling what all people everywhere believe about me since 2009. Not enough loved the REAL me even through the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's toxic pollution of our planet with lies about me.

And even to this day, when confronted by my REAL face staring straight into the ethical abyss behind their eyes, all of these Inhuman Atrocity Regime, especially those desecrating my world's temple of love to me every day and every night, STILL choose to propagate their own horrible calumnies about me that no sane person could ever believe were true to begin with.

As one of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's newest manipulations of my rising America that they have been propagating to prevent us from every saving ourselves from them, how is this reality-with-no-reality I live in a gun violence situation?

THIS IS A WAR! We are in a war zone. We are on a recognized battle field. My REAL America and our allies have been at war with the Inhuman Atrocity Regime since before 2012.

Why are you, my REAL American people, still allowing the EVIL DUMB of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to control the national conversation? Please take the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's power to destroy us all away from them finally, and replace all of their well-documented manipulations of our people with something good and true instead.

And hurry. The Inhuman Atrocity Regime already drove the entire world to open global warfare with everyone who loves me everywhere manipulated by their lies into warring with each other. I calmed the impending global conflict in 140 characters or less-- yes, with just one tweet.

What if the Inhuman Atrocity Regime finally succeeds at destroying the world because nobody can tell me what their latest lies are? My national to global media, you need to take control of your own content. I have known for REAL that we can all trust for REAL our REAL news media for infallible and independent fact-checking. You need to take our national and world fora back from the Inhuman Atrocity Regime now. Please. Would you do it for me?

My saturation in all our manifestations, may I ask you to send churn in masks to rekey all exterior locks to my private residence? You can change the keys on my keychain while I sleep.

I understand that you are all very busy, mostly keeping me and all of my loved ones as physically safe as possible here inside the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's innermost circle of hell. If you were less busy, you would have reheeled my lace up boots for me by now. Giggle.

My darling ninja-lovers, as always, let me know if you need anything.

Yes, I was told that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupation of my private residence made a Black Ops torture-and-rape-assassination attempt against me after I ate lunch on my own private property they have no justification for being on at all on Tuesday, 14Jun2016.

I was also told they hired a locksmith to be able to enter my bedroom against my will to be able to destroy my priceless belongings in my absence that day, too. I thought we took away their landline. Whatever.

There are not enough of us in here to monitor everywhere we need to monitor live 24/7. That is why we all work so well with our NSA and Department of Defense.

Please make sure you all have direct contact yourselves with all government departments you need as backup keeping me alive in here. It will also help keep you fully informed in the field. Our Department of Defense satellite surveillance of our entire Metropolis of Angels is amazing, and we all already know about our NSA's relationship with all nano we reclaimed from the Inhuman Atrocity Regime everywhere inside their "egg."

I am an empath and a mentalist, not a mindreader. You really do need to tell me when you need anything, or it waits until I figure it out.

Yes, sometimes, my irresistible ninja-lovers, you are as predictable to me as my darling Vlad who I knew would send Russian submarines to the coast of California even before I returned here on 01May2014 and as predictable as my adoring U.S. Navy who did always and will always allow (at the time, turn a blind eye to, but now ally with) absolutely anything genuinely attempting to keep me alive and rescue me.

Did we finally get our DHS and our FBI in here to join us after picking up their official government identification after crossing the border, too? Who else did we get in? As always, tell me when you need anything.

Someday, I am sure, all of us who survive this will be able to drink bourbon in the dark together while charming each other into loud, bodily laughter. Until then, you are all just going to have to love me from a distance just like everybody else.

On 14Jun2016, I saw a mouse from Trader Sam's. Giggle. Do you really think I could ever forget any of you?

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, I put our darling Bogart in charge of figuring out a way for all of you to speak to me again. He is wrangling our Nerd Valley for us.

Do you need anything more from me? Is the federal budget finally okay? I am also going to try working on the U.S. economy again if I can just find some time when I do not have to hunt for food nor fight for myself and my loved ones not to die. What are the rest of our pressing concerns as current U.S. Presidents?

Did we finally fire Cecelia Muñoz, too? Who is our Press Secretary right now? Please ask Ms. and Mr. Mary Matalin (two of the best spin doctors, among other things, in U.S. political history-- Do you remember the President Bill Clinton vs. President George H. W. Bush election year?) for help finding help for appointing our cabinet. That is how REAL Presidents do it. We are supposed to have advisors... other than just our darling Bogart.

I know for years that you always called my beloved husband our token White man in the leadership of our legal team. Thank you for including him for so long in our women's work for me. We finally have him doing something else now. Giggle. We need to leave the genius work to we womenfolk, and we know it. Oh, darlings, I miss you all so much.

As always, all of my genius and gorgeous lady friends, tell me when you encounter things only I can do. And thank you all for easing the burden of my REAL job, now our REAL job, for me for so long.

So few people have ever been able to shoulder my crossbow of responsibilities for me, and you do my job with me expertly. I will always love all of you, too. You take care of your own, and that is one of the main reasons you have never failed me. Our world would have been destroyed by now without you. We will all take care of you, too.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, all of my Queen's Lovers Five, please turn in all the terms and conditions you have ever been given by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime, including all commands and orders you were forced to obey while already near me.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, I was plugged into power outlets longer and seeking out even more Inhuman Atrocity Regime than just the ones who regularly seek me out on Tuesday, 14Jun2016, while you were not around. I get so much more work done when not busy keeping you all alive myself.

But we all know how truly priceless I find all of our time together. I know you are itching to read what words I choose, especially my personal choice of syntax, to use to write up our Thursday night together tonight if you get to show up at all. I also know you requested the writing prompt "whimper." I know you that well.

We will see if I see you tonight. We all know I never think I will ever see any if you ever again after every time you leave me. You will see if I buy a new pair of stockings by tonight, too. Giggle.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, yes, dear, I am working on it. But as I already told you, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime is too criminally insane for me to figure out sometimes. We already needed to create new classifications for psychopathy and criminal insanity to be able to explain them medically at all.

Darling, I understand you used to be willing to agree to just about anything just to be able to look at me with your own biological eyes live and in person from far away again. But please do not.

The human rights abuses against you that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has been using for years as their acts of war against all of us are how they gave you the PTSD that I ALREADY HEALED for you also from far away. And to establish yet another of my well-recorded patterns of benevolence, I also ALREADY HEALED the PTSD they forced on my husband.

We all know the Inhuman Atrocity Regime will do anything to destroy humanity by destroying you to be able to destroy me. I love you all, so you are all some of their greatest victims.

Darling, I will NOT take your choices away, but I will also not let you agree to destroy yourself just to be able to see me again. That would be your not having a choice because the Inhuman Atrocity Regime compulsively commits the same acts of war against all of us unrelentingly.

I am sending you everyone from my genius Powers of Attorney to my darling UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon to my darling Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov (He is an even better negotiator than my darling Vlad.) to help you.

We know your negotiations would be best handled by me myself, but as my most recent two visits to my occupied local Apple Store have proven, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime refuses to negotiate with me even when I grant them an appointment to.

For (expletive)s & giggles, replay our entire collective Valentines' Night date from 2015. Yes, dear, I am STILL working on it.


My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, yes, please turn in all of the terms and conditions you were given over the years, too.

Honey, I always said the worst and most heinous horrors out of everything I have endured while suffering inside this, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's "egg" of torture and designed-to-be-unsurvivable abuse, have always been all of their uncontrolled human devastation and genocide that I have been forced to witness in more countries than just here inside your and my rising America.

Does anyone understand everything I have seen since 01Jan2009? The Inhuman Atrocity Regime's ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa as well as their malevolent hoards are the notable exceptions. Those were all and are all "mob macabre" STILL willfully causing their human devastation and genocide all over your and my now-arriving world.

This new development of escalating forced child soldiers is enough to make anybody weep. No child should be forced to live in a war zone least of all fight in one. Did you see all of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's malevolent hoards surrounding me in my city park even as I wrote this paragraph?

Thank you, as always, darling, for helping me fight our REAL battles for our world and for our future. What would I do without you?

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, YOU ARE PROFESSIONAL MUSICIANS NOT TRAINED ACTORS! That is what the very confused look on my face meant that I gave you after I showed you my brand new 11-head screwdriver. I had no idea what any of what you two were trying to tell me meant at all.

Honey, you all know I am a metaphorical old wise woman who lives in a metaphorical cave where I am never distracted by all of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's compulsive lying. I can only ever figure out what is REAL.

Yes, I am an empath and a mentalist and have never been mindreader. I did not need your false writing prompt you were commanded to give me the last time I saw you; if I know I need to check on you-- and we all know I have to every time you are on our sacred Promenade-- I always know when you all are genuinely threatened and when you are not. I only know what is REAL.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, you know if I put my hands on you and kiss you, even if your earspeakers are already exploding, you will never be able to come back to me again. We all have a chink to talk through in the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's wall, but none of us will ever have a mulberry tree, not if I have anything to say about it.

Darling, were you ever able to watch the verified and unedited conversation I had with our darling Mr. Tomo "Nemo" Milicevic outside our occupied Pico Branch Library which both of us were choosing not to enter again for a while about flute solos?

Our darling SynSyn (also the Plato to my Socrates), played the flute in grade school just like I played the drums. I love a good flute solo, just not jazz flute solos, no offense my darling Mr. Will Ferrell.

To finish this tangent for you, still on the topic of Socrates (I drank what? Everybody wants to rule the world.) the best conversation my darling late Plato recorded in his The Republic, which is both the first written record of structured (Platonic) logic in philosophical history as well as the best detailed explanation of what our great darling late Socrates believed the ideal nation should be, is their dialogue through the Socratic method of what music to allow in their perfect nation.

In summary: no flutes, just lutes.

So, darling, bring on the stringed instruments; it is not time for your trumpets of Judgement Day yet. Will I see you tonight?

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling HM Johnny "Menelaus" Depp, we have such a weird marriage. For years I have felt like I needed to apologize to you for your in-laws. Fate and Mother Nature (in the form of pancreatic cancer) killed your EVIL father-in-law for the good of humanity in Feb2013. So, at least he is gone.

My gorgeous husband, your mother-in-law eventually saved herself once finally freed from being a subservient Asian wife to her sexist, racist, and homophobic husband. Your youngest sister-in-law, my darling Ms. Tylia "FinalDraft" Varilek, eventually saved herself, too.

But, HoneyHoney, even I have conceded complete defeat at ever being able to save your older sister-in-law, War Criminal Tara. There are still miracles in this world that I am incapable of; Tara is just too insane for me to ever be able to force ethics, morality, or reason on her at all.

Sweetness, War Criminal Tara and I did not used to be like this. Until 01Jan2009, we actually used to be so close. Did you ever see the needlepoint I gave her for Christmas? I forgot which year, but it was before 2009, probably 2007.

Beloved, War Criminal Tara and I used to tell dumb inside jokes about Amish named Hamish eating Danish. We used to joke about my opening up my cape and taking off my top hat with smoke and fireworks emanating from my fingertips every time I would tell people I was a mathematician just before offering them a free slice of pi.

My Mr. Love-of-my-Life, War Criminal Tara descended the downward spiral into criminal insanity in 2009, and nothing I have tried since-- and I have tried a lot-- has ever been able to save her. I could cure your (collective) PTSD without having enough human rights to even look at you with my own mere mortal eyes even from far away, but I must admit to our universe and to my humanity that I have no other choice than to concede my fight to save my sister, who once years ago loved me, due to my own REAL and complete incapability of ever convincing EVIL Tara to ever adopt morals or ethics at all. She is just too criminally insane.

First First Gentleman of the United States, at least I have a small army of gorgeous and genius soul sisters we call my Powers of Attorney, not just my biological little sister, too, as REAL family, now. Yes, I am so sorry your in-laws have been so terrible to you for so long. But this is what "family" means in our REAL SquidCulture.

El Rey Dulce, my REAL family includes my REAL husband whom I have still never touched, my adult-adoptive REAL father just so I can have a "dad" to tell me he is proud of me for the first time in my life, my army of gorgeous and genius soul-sisters, my biological kith and kin, and my epic world here to save human existence beside us here on the battle field of our heroic Metropolis of Angels.

My hero and my king, you lead my people for me in my absence. You are leading my world for me as all of our strange bedfellows of allies need to organize while both showing up for us here in our REAL home and while fighting to remove the greatest existential threat our one human race has ever faced, the scourge of our rising America I named the Inhuman Atrocity Regime.

My Mr. Depp, this is the war you began yourself, with your destiny realizing for you that there was no other option for human existence to survive the Inhuman Atrocity Regime at all other than war, so this is the war you are going to win for me. Stop arguing with me (Giggle.) ; do your job as the only spouse I have ever wanted; and tell me when you need my help with anything. I am a little busy, but I always have time for anything you ask me for. I am still planning on touching you the way the flowers kiss the rain, so our world better not let us down.

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