Friday, December 31, 2010

The Last Post of the Year

I actually had the occasion to make it out of the house to see some friends twice this week. With any luck, the car situation will turnaround for me over the weekend. I might finally be allowed to take the car out. I am an amazing driver; there is no reason I should not be allowed to drive a car.

I also made it to the chiropractor twice this week. Because I am so persecuted by the US government, we were not allowed to discuss all of the problems he must have found when he looked at my health holistically. I have serious trauma from the years of torture I have endured. Yes, I am healing now. I even play music as I sleep to help.

There are things in this world of which I simply am not capable, and I admit to them all. One of them is wearing sensible shoes. I put on a pair of tennis shoes on Monday to go to a Zumba class at the local YMCA. I had only barely broken a sweat when my feet rebelled against me. My arches hurt so much I had to take off the shoes, and then I learned that all of the rest of my feet had gone numb. If there is Zumba in my future, it will be danced in red satin t-strap stilettos or, more likely, barefoot. I cannot wear sensible shoes.

I am thinking about finally applying to the MFA in Creative Writing program at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado. The degree is low-residence, so I will be able to take my courses online from the comfort of my netbook. Education is so important to me, and my medium of choice for spreading knowledge and enlightenment around the world is the written word. It is time I procured my MFA.

Tonight is New Year's Eve! I plan on dancing. I am going to a local rock show, assuming I can get a ride there, in Des Moines. Oh, it has been far too long since I have had live music to dance to freely.

In the News...

Latest in the Ivory Coast
Look at that! They are having diplomatic intervention in the Ivory Coast. This is a good thing. The violence and unrest needs to be brought to an end. Yey!

There are also talks in the works to release and diminish tensions between the two Koreas. It's almost like my beautiful world listens to me when I say these things I am never allowed to know anyone ever reads or hears. Let us all hope we can bring a lasting peace to the Korean Peninsula. They have seen so much violence and unrest.

"An Eye for an Eye Only Makes the Whole World Blind. My Orange Juice, Please." --Ghandi
And now for the latest in the Obama administration's lack of maturity: We no longer have an ambassador from Venezuela. Obama needs to grow up and stop being a tantrum-driven brat.

Sometimes We Need to Take a Stand.
Even if it makes us unpopular with people more powerful than we are, sometimes we need to take a stand on what we feel is right. I am not taking sides in this. I am just commenting on the personal strength displayed instead of the politics.

Refuse to Comply
Discuss (and associate) any topic you want with anyone you want... so long as you do not slander, defame, etc. anyone. Do not comply with social oppression and removal of the freedom of speech. We all know the rules... do not lie about anyone, do not steal your human expression from anyone, and respect each other's privacy. As long as you keep with these restrictions of dignity, let no one tell you that you cannot express yourself with anyone you want... even me.

Drinkable Water
Drinkable water is so important. Let no one take it away from you. The water supplies were poisoned and drugged in San Francisco, Mexico City, Wigan (UK), and Liverpool while I was there. The people just let it happen. Stand up for yourselves and let no one take drinkable water away from you. Looking at the world populations, it is far more rare than it should be.

Oil will Always be Precious, but...
... it is time we found new ways of powering our machines. Solar, wind, geothermal, etc. power are endless. They do not require the poor to spend their meager moneys to bring power into their lives. When are we bringing greener energies to the poor of the world? They need it most. Oil will always be precious but not as precious as ending human suffering.

Keep your own Economy Strong to Prevent the World's Economy from Falling Apart
The global economy will not fail apart just because of certain amounts of gross governmental mismanagement of finances in certain countries. As long as we keep our economies as strong as possible, the world's money will keeping turning. This is not a global crisis as long as we are still investing and spending.

Do not Fall for It.
Do you remember how we in the US all lived in crippling irrational fear of the USSR during the Cold War? Let us not let it happen again. From what I can tell, the US government has been trying to make the American people irrationally non-trusting of Middle Eastern cultures for years now. There is no reason for this irrational mind control. Do not allow the government to make you fear a people or a culture just because they want control over you. Take cultures on a person-by-person basis to start with if you have to... The government wants us afraid and controlled. Never give up your freedom to think, believe, and choose.

Why are We Doing This Again?
Why are we killing civilians? Is it the US government trying to provoke conflict again? There are never answers to these questions because in the US right now the truth is off limits. I believe the US government wants the US to have an enemy. They want a people or a culture to make all Americans hate, so they can control us with that hate. To do this, they are running around the world provoking conflicts. Do not fall for it.

Cultural Understand and Education Might Save us All.
Promote understanding of your own culture and people with everyone you can. Until recently, there was no reliable way to explain to people in Iran that Americans are not all oppressive warmongers like the US government. Also learn about as many other cultures as you can. Grow to love and understand as many people as your heart can handle. Yes, even I am only a human who feels fear and hatred... but I am teaching myself to embrace knowledge and understanding instead. Learn about new cultures every chance you get. Learn to appreciate our beautiful world.

Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité -- Did I get that in the right order?
Standing up for our human rights is so important. We all should have a freedom to assemble and associate. We should all have a freedom to believe as we choose. We should all have a freedom of speech and a freedom to criticize... as long as we call an opinion an opinion. We should all have a right to hear what people say about us. We should all have a right to privacy. There is so much that the US government denies its citizens right now.

Israel Should not be Considered an Accurate Representation of the World's Jewish Populations.
What crawled inside Netanyahu's heart and died there? Yes, there is a legacy of conflict with Palestine in Israel; they are one country with two governments right now... but Netanyahu is particularly out of control. Why is it the Israeli people are allowing it to just go on? Why are they allowing this blood on their hands? Just as the American people cannot be represented by the US government to the world right now, the world's Jewish population should not be judged by the actions of Israel. The good Jewish people are better than propagating human rights violations.

It All Comes Down to Leadership.
And it looks like something has been a good influence on Iranian leadership lately. I wish I could make better analysis and conclusions, but it is so hard for me to get all encompassing news.

Weather Here has been Oddly Mild.
The Des Moines Area has missed the worst of the winter weather so far, and the worst of the blizzards that hit Europe did not land until after I left their continent. With all of the crazy weather this season all over North America, we here have been truly blessed that it missed us. Yes, the weather and I have an understanding, but I do not even pretend I could ever tell her what to do. All we have had was a gently snow just in time for Christmas. I hope everyone out there is taking care and being careful on the roads. I hope your flights are rescheduled soon, and I hope everyone researches the Water Cycle to understand why the weather is changing.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Every Love

Every love should be freedom. Everyone should love with all the passion of their soul let loose upon their beloved. Let nothing stop your love.

Love should not make you self-conscious. Love should not make you destructive... unless it is to barriers between you. Love should not make you jealous, paranoid, nor non-trusting. Love cannot be less than the purest expression of the human heart.

Love is power. Wield it mercilessly.

Love with your entire body, your entire existence, your entire being. You will never know what you are capable of until you send such love into the world to romp and play and propagate among other human souls.

I have a love like this, but sadly he must share my heart with my love for all the world. Luckily, the human heart has infinite love to give.

Happy New Year

I can already see that 2011 will be a beautiful year indeed. How do I know? No, it is not because my mom constantly wants me to go shopping for new clothes. (She has never liked how I dress myself.) No, it is not even because life could not get worse than my 2009 and 2010 were to me. Let us just call it an understanding of the workings of the universe. The birds told me justice is coming.

Now, my New Year's resolutions... What am I going to do to make my beautiful world and myself better in 2011?

I resolve to...
1.) do a little something everyday to bring world peace,
2.) do a little something everyday to prevent human annihilation of the environment,
3.) stand in the way of human rights violations on every level,
4.) dance more often than I did last year (It is how I meditate, after all.),
5.) end this bullshit...
...all in 2011. Clearly, my dedication to bringing humanity through Global Climate Change is much more long term.

I also have New Years wishes for my beautiful world. I wish everyone peace, love, true beauty, freedom, and justice in 2011. If you pursue this for yourselves, then the universe might even bring this all to little ole me this year, too. It also really ticks off those that oppress you and persecute me when you all stand up for yourselves. Hee-hee! This year is going to be fun.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Two final notes for the day...

Here is a photo of my face as it looked while I was watching David Letterman tonight... just in case anyone out there was curious.

And from the News...

Obama and Latin America
Sadly, Obama's influence was all over Mexico City while I was there in February this year. He just refused to bother to do anything useful. I wonder sometimes if our current president is more impotent or corrupt.


I have found the local news on Channel 8 (CBS) far more accurate and reliable than the local news on Channel 5 (ABC) both out of Des Moines, Iowa. If that changes, I will let you know. That said and on a related note, there are many ways to get rid of slanderers. I believe that tracing lies to where they come from and naming that source openly and publicly as a slanderer is the best way to go. I do not and cannot trust news from Channel 5 (ABC) because of this.

If we publicly point out all of the slanderers, then we will be left with only reliable sources of information. Do you or do you not want to know the truth? This is your job, my beautiful world, in all of this. Getting rid of the slanderers is up to you. It takes a lot before I can hear the lies... but that Channel 5 (ABC) leaks like a seive.

Yes, I stayed in all day yesterday, and I do not plan on going out today until I run errands and hit the gym with my mom. I cannot wait for New Years Eve!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

What are you up to for New Years Eve?

I plan to go see a local rock show on New Years Eve. It is either that or stay home alone, but I feel a need to be out among good people these days. It will be good for me, and I have so much self-healing that still needs to happen. Maybe I will even get some dancing in.

Christmas with my family was delightful. I received many wonderful gifts this year. It seems my family is very worried about the warmth of my feet and hands; gloves, mittens, socks, shoes, slippers... I got them all. There was actually very little puking, all things considered, but something somehow went wrong with the goat cheese we think. Today is Boxing Day, and they are all at Sunday morning mass while I, the family a(e)theist, sit here blogging.

I had a chance to see a dear old friend for coffee on Christmas Eve afternoon. It is wonderful to catch up with friends I have known for decades. As always, just when I think the art of conversation is dead, I am rescued by friends and family. He was a spoken delight.

In the news...

Ivory Coast
He says there will be civil war if he is physically removed from office. Sadly, the country is already in a civil war of beliefs and ideas.  They need a peaceful, diplomatic intervention. They need a person or people respected by both presidents to walk into their fire and bring a solution. Meanwhile, Gbagbo is not showing any signs he is worthy of leading a people in anything other than a forced military state. He is digging himself into a hole of dictatorship. How is he supposed to face the world that way?

Tensions are still High in Korea.
Well, yes, if the South at the request of the US government keeps the tensions high on purpose tensions will stay high. We need tensions in the area to cool off, but all the US wants to do is fire guns right by the border. We all have a version of what is going on.  But you cannot deny that if you actually want tensions to lessen, you will not set off military drills in North Korea's face. If the South truly does not want the North to set off nuclear weapons, they would not aggravate them into needing to do it. Who is the real aggressor? Someone wants a war, and it is not North Korea... but they will defend themselves.

Still with the Austerity Measures?
We have been through this so many times. Yes, you need to do something to fix your economies, but the way your austerity measures are designed, you will stunt your economies even further. Think of your economy as a railroad for a moment. The railroad is broke and needs to make money. If you reduce stops and remove trains in order to spend less money, fewer people will be able to ride the train lines with hopes of getting anywhere they need to go. The railroad will lose even more money, Instead, you need spend money to make the train lines better, so that more people will spend their money to ride the trains. Then, the railroad will make money again. You need to invest in your economies to make them grow and flourish.

The Pope is Publicly Active these Days.
Then again, with what little news I get, the Pope may have been out publicly spreading peace and love with official statements for much longer. He has been taking an active role in sorting out the problems of the Catholic church concerning abuses of children, and he has done it with public knowledge. There is a time and place to be open and public about what you do, and there is a time to keep private. Each person should have control of this for her or himself. The Pope and I still differ on views of the queer populations, but that is just going to make for some great communication some day. I have been meaning to write him a letter for a while now... I should really brush up on my Latin.

The real question: Why did he not bother sooner?
Obama knows he needs to get on my good side. He also knows these past few weeks since the election were his last chance to lead (party-wise) any legislative action to show he actually did something at all while president other than make everything worse. Apparently, the wake up call got through to him. Is it a turnaround or is he covering his backside?

The People
My beautiful world. thank you for listening to me for so long. I just want to give you all a quick reminder that the people of the US are not always appropriately represented by our government. Americans, even the tourists, are good people. The government is just a mess.  But the people are taking power these days, and we are going to sort out our government. We are a democracy, after all. It is about time Washington remembered the definition of "democracy."

The Troops
The US troops are another example of this. They are not the warmongers; they are the ones that die because of warmongers. I really wish I had a chance to go out and visit them... maybe some military hospitals... maybe a little singing and dancing. Such good people...

As a final note...
And they say no one reads books anymore. As a writer, I am always delighted to learn when people get all excited about a book. They say children are losing their attention spans due to video games and the technology of immediacy. If we could just get them excited about books again, we could counteract all of that immediacy. There is no reason to get rid of all of the technology or even dislike it, but we need to keep our children's minds rich with a plethora of activities while they are developing. Never forget about books or other patience related activities. Read to your babies, so they will read for themselves.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Day to Day and a Lot of News

I had the joy of watching live tennis exhibitions on Tuesday and Wednesday this week. It made me crave Swiss chocolates and the Spanish sun, and the pong of the tennis ball put me in my happy place. Healing takes so many different forms.

I ran most of my errands-- all of them, in fact, except for seeing my chiropractor-- in time for my mom's birthday yesterday. We had a nice dinner last night to celebrate her 64th (pronounced sexty-fourth) year in this world, and dad bought her an ice cream cake. With everything that goes on in this world, it was nice to have some quiet family time.

In order to fight off the condition my poor beat up body has been left in due to the chemicals forced on me in the UK, I went to the gym at the local YMCA Monday and Tuesday this week and did ballet bar work here in the house yesterday morning. I forgot how easy it is to build up muscle when full of testosterone. While the stick runs its course, this exercising thing will be so much more effective!

I have had a lot of sister bonding time over the last few days. I am really going to miss those two when they go home. At least we're all in the same country, now, so seeing each other will be so much easier. It has been a very long time since I laughed this much.

The people here in Iowa have proved to be very warm and friendly. It has been so long since people have openly treated me well, and their behaviors towards me are very welcome indeed. They treat me with the respect any human is due. It is about damn time.

In the news...

The Ivory Coast is a mess. There is so much in this world I wish I had the freedoms to help fix. They need a diplomatic intervention.

Something lit a fire under Obama. For once he is bothering to be more than toad slime. I wonder if he is trying to win (someone like) me over to thinking of him as a president instead of a waste of human skin. If that is his goal, he has a hell of a lot of work ahead of him. It starts with him ending his continued oppression of my surroundings and his open persecution of me, my person, my mind, and my body.

A company in Spain is investing time and energy in Iowan wind farming. This is a very good thing for our world. Iowa and I have differing opinions of biofuel; I do not think food should be used to move cars around. But, I love Iowa's wind farms. Renewable energy is a big and important part of humanity's future.

The US has been aggravating the military state of North Korea by having massive drills with South Korea only 15 miles from the shared Korean border. What does the US government think it is trying to accomplish? North Korea definitely seems unhappy and threatened by the armed forces to its south preening like peacocks. And according to at least one of the articles below, the US is "unimpressed" with the verbal threat that North Korea has made. So, in effect, the US government is doing nothing but warmongering. They are trying to provoke North Korea into attacking first, so South Korea can say it is only defending itself. These are real people, real countries, and real homes, but these are play things to the US government.

Peace, freedom, and empowerment takes whatever form it needs in a crisis. The world needs heroes.

Haiti is a mess. They need someone to take charge there to force the rebuilding to begin and be completed in a timely and organized manner. They survived hurricane season this year in tent cities, but for how many years will they have to? Was this not supposed to be fixed by now? Oh, wait, that was something Obama was led the way on... Let's hope a real leader who actually cares about the people of Haiti gets this taken care of.

The president of Iran listens. Iran is mentally prepared for the world once we are past nuclear technology. Is anyone else? Israel clearly is not.

In fact, I have been worried about Israel lately. For one, they are led by Netanyahu... He is the monster who was chief of the UN Security Council when the clearly international "Code of Silence" was slapped on me. Secondly, the state of Israel has been irrational and aggressive recently. Gaza is a mess and is full of more human rights violations than my life since early 2009. I worry that all of this is permitted by the Israeli people due to chips in their heads. There is some sort of mass social control going on there that is allowing Netanyahu to run rampant with no accountability.

A dictator got his due. This is what justice looks like. We shall see this soon with a number of other countries in the coming two years. Our world is a mess due to dictatorial leaders of supposed democracies questing ignobly for personal power and cruel glory. This is just the beginning.

I am an a(e)theist, but even I need a Christmas miracle this year. I need this over. May the right time for the universe to approve happen as soon as possible. And may all of your Christmas miracles come true as well...! No matter what your religion may be, may all of your beautiful dreams and wishes come true. Happy Holidays, beautiful world... and may the universe bless!

Monday, December 20, 2010

It's Almost Christmas.

Well, it looks like I was wrong. There is no longer a Blues on Grand. So, when I finally had a ride to drop me off somewhere, I went to the House of Bricks just east of the river in Des Moines and caught a metal show. I need to get out more often.

My sisters arrived in town a day earlier than planned. We have had much sister bonding time since. Luckily, this year we have had much laughing.

I am still trying to locate all of my belongings that I had in my room in San Francisco. They are all in the basement somewhere in boxes. I could really use my purple dipping pen, and I promised my Moetai tiki idol to someone long ago.

My Christmas is shopping finished, at least. I just need to get to the post office. Oh well, gifts will be late this year. I do not think anyone will mind.

This week I hope to see the chiropractor, get a haircut, and procure new glasses. It's also my mom's birthday on Wednesday. I should be able to see a dear, old friend Tuesday night, but that depends on how her winter health is. There is a bug going around. I also think I might take up yoga.

In the news...

Korea, plese stay calm and rational. Yes, always defend yourself when attacked... but never attack first. There is no active attacking going on right now, so there is no need to call up arms to defend yourself. There is another solution.  Just try.  Do not let the US government gode you into war.

Ivory Coast
The part that resonates most with me is the part that reports on the media. The state televison is controled by the dictator, so the public is still largely unaware. That went on and still goes on here in the US concerning me and is a reason I hate the British media so much. They forgot about telling the truth somehow.

At times of political stalemate, there is always another solution... The Ivory Coast did not get the message, but Iraq did.

European Weather
I do not control the weather. I did not leave a trail of snow in my wake to blanket the UK once I made it free of them. The weather and I just have an understanding. That is, I understand the weather. Do you all remember the water cycle?

Well, there is now more water in it than there used to be. This means not only are the ocean levels going to be higher, but there will also be more precipitation, more clouds, and just plain more water in the world. This is Global Climate Change.

Lunar Eclipse
It's on my mom's birthday! Let's all go watch.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Hello, Beautiful World, from Me in Iowa.

First and foremost, let me apologize, my beautiful world, for being quiet for so long. The Polk County District Court was not done with me when they gave adult guardianship over me to my abusive father. They also made sure I would be hospitalized the moment I stepped foot outside of the Des Moines International Airport. Yes, I admit that the UK did nothing but harm me and that I need to heal, but I could have used an explanation for being stuck in a hospital again. I am still neither a risk to harm others nor suicidal. Legally speaking, you must be at least one to be detained in a hospital. Well, I got myself out on Tuesday.

I have been stuck here in the house pretty much ever since. My parents have a case of mono-car. That means there is one car for three of us. This also means I am not allowed to take the car out to go do anything. There is nothing in walking distance and no public transportation. As a result, I am stuck in the house all day and night unless I can convince my mom to take me out to run errands after she gets home from work. I am ready to call a taxi to go to the local coffee shop tomorrow afternoon. I might actually do it.

My first day back here at THE HOUSE was the first occasion my dad had since I made it to Iowa to be verbally abusive towards me. My mom had taken me out to do my Christmas shopping, and I ran in THE HOUSE afterwards to immediately hide her and Dad's gifts. I was immediately and verbally violently berated by him for wearing shoes in the house. I did not yell back at him. I do not yell back. I have been going through hell since early 2009. You would think he could bother to have a little compassion.

THE HOUSE has a new kitchen, and that kitchen has already been the site of much of my cooking and dancing. Other changes of note include the new geothermal heating system in the basement and the new county sewage line being built through the back yard. My dad also now has three offices in the house. He has one on each floor; they are in the basement, the family room, and the guest room. Neither my mom nor I have even one. I have not been made welcome in THIS HOUSE.

Iowa as a whole has been friendly enough since I arrived, though. There is a huge exhibit on Leonardo Da Vinci at the Science Center of Iowa, and Blues on Grand is still up and running. Maybe I will have a chance to go out and see something once my sisters get here for the holidays. They will be bringing a car with them.

As a final note, I was wrong about the three-month testosterone stick that was inserted under my skin against my will in my sleep in the hospital in the UK. It is more of a one-year stick. I am almost to six months with it under my skin, and the symptoms have only worn off enough for it to be a one-year stick. My body is still too funny-shaped, still producing too much hair, and still storing fat in my belly instead of my normally more womanly hips.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

For Iowa

I travel home on Thursday. Yey!

Iowa, I have taken good care of you while over here. PLEASE refuse to comply with the federal government. PLEASE refuse to mistreat me just to be near me. PLEASE stand up for your own rights, clean water supply, and self-maintained social order. PLEASE refuse to ever allow a chip in your head. PLEASE do and discuss whatever you damn well please while I am there. PLEASE do not allow the federal government to control you. I am asking you to maintain your own rights and freedoms with hopes it brings me mine.

I am begging you.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tentative Travel Date

Because the quack-whore, Dr. Helen Reynolds, simply must be as much of a pain as possible, I have a tentative travel date for two weeks from now instead of the freedom to leave as soon as possible. Someone needs to spit in her face for me. Meanwhile, the City of Liverpool's inability to maintain sidewalks when it snows has kept me indoors these past couple of days. I cannot wait for the day I have good news to report instead of constantly being ticked off. I cannot wait to see the back side of the UK.

I am NOT looking forward to life with my abusive father again. Tom Varilek, my dad, is probably rehearsing verbal abuse right now that he wants to dish out at me. I am NOT the Polk County District Court. I did NOT grant my asshole of a father, Thomas Raymond Varilek, adult guardianship over me. This is NOT my doing. I am NOT even a citizen nor resident of Iowa. Yet, Tom perjured himself in order to gain adult guardianship over me, and he is already weilding it cruelly.

Someday my life will be happy. Someday when Obama gets his head out of his ass, I will have human rights, again. Someday I might even have the freedom to get a job. I will never be grateful for all of the horrors that have been my life landing on me and tormenting me ever since 2009. Let us hope 2011 brings an end to all of this.

China, thank you for listening.

Here I am blowing kisses to the world!