Monday, February 29, 2016

Put War Criminal Tovarek in Prison

Title: Put War Criminal Tovarek in Prison

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. I think my butt is too small for me to wear pants.

Syria. Progress! Thank the heavens the U.S. State Department is doing its REAL job. Russia and the U.S. have brokered a ceasefire in Syria. It affects everyone except ISIS and al Nusra whom everyone is still fighting.

The Syrian civil war raged so long it destabilized the entire region. Let us finally bring some peace and security to that ravaged nation. Assuming all goes well, they should have a unity government in less than 1.5 years. Thank you, my beautiful world.

My last blog post was finished at 10:44am on Saturday, 27Feb2016. My internet gnomes played me Sweet Peace and Time by my darlings Humble Pie. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies were particularly happy.

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I was in a very good mood that morning among the Saturday Farmers' Market outside of the Pico Branch Library. I had slept well, and my hair looked fabulous. I had seen my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot the night before, and they had made everything better.

I worked online there in the shade until 11:55am. My mom called me through FaceTime at 12:06pm just before I ate lunch. She was wonderful. Lunch was tasty, and I was on the bus to downtown Santa Monica in an instant.

My darlings Tentacle were not on the Santa Monica Pier yet when I got there, so I sat in the fog at the far end and watched the "Rock'n'Roll Jesus" act until 2:34pm when I moved to a bench with a view of the beach. The sun eventually burned off the fog, and the sky shone brilliantly blue.

I stayed on the Pier until 4:34pm, and I found my darling Patricia on my Promenade at 4:57pm. My darlings Tentacle were nowhere to be found, so I got worried.

5:18pm on 27Feb2016: @CIA @DeptofDefense @BBCNews @cctvnews @RT_com @UN #SquidsPoA Please emergency check on Tentacle. It takes something ugly to keep them away.

I walked my Promenade to see who was playing where, and I paused with my darlings Denmantau at 5:41pm. They played until 6pm, so I bought some dinner from the Shophouse and sat down next to my darlings The Age-Inappropriate Boy Band.

I watched the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester Holt, and it was a work of art.

I found 2/3rds of my darlings Tentacle right there on my Promenade waiting to serenade me the moment I was done hugging my darling Patricia goodbye. It was the first time either of them had ever seen me wear pants, so I sat around making jokes about my pants until they started playing at 8:34pm.

Oh, the night was beautiful. Our connection was amazing. It was worth waiting all day for meditation that good. My darlings never disappoint.

They played until 10:07pm. Then they moved across the street and played even later. It was such a damn good night. It hurt when I tore myself away from them to make sure I could catch the last bus back to my place, but the three of us were all smiles.

Our fleeting moments together, though far too rare, are nothing but magic.

I caught the 11:48pm bus back to my place and slept in until lunch on Sunday, 28Feb2016. After eating, I picked up my mail. In the mail, I found out that my EVIL sister, War Criminal Tara Tovarek, was petitioning LA County for the power of conservatorship over me. We need that bitch arrested.

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My beautiful world, do you understand what the power of "conservatorship" is in the State of California? A "conservator" would have the power to lock me in ANY mental health facility she wants on just a whim; she would need no grounds nor due process.

Let us look at War Criminal Tovarek's history with me. In 2014 after I fled Iowa for my life to Los Angeles, Tovarek lied to the LAPD to be able to unlawfully imprison me in a literal torture facility paraded, as always, as a psych ward where I endured LITERAL torture and systemic rape.

Please reread my 17Sep2014 Appendix about how long War Criminal Tovarek has been in conspiracy with War Criminal Boeset and the State of Iowa to commit war crimes against me and crimes against all of humanity. Furthermore, War Criminal Tovarek's petition was filed by War Criminal Boeset's lawyers in Los Angeles, Attorney Terry Wasserman.

And look at how much perjury is in Tovarek's petition!

1.) War Criminal Tara Tovarek listed her PO Box as her address when EVERYONE knows Tovarek is NOT a legal resident of California. Tara moved to the DC area in Aug2014, so three months after she signed her lease there, she was a legal Virginia resident.

2.) The bitch lied to the courts that I am at all "mentally incompetent" to manage my own finances. I moved out of my evil parents' house at seventeen years old and have NEVER once had a problem managing my own finances. But look at how intentionally poorly my finances have been managed ever since EVIL Iowa stole them away from me with an ILLEGAL "conservator" in 2010!

Obama mandates that I am forbidden control of my own finances to make sure I never have enough money to flee to a country that will actually treat me like a human being and grant me my full human rights. Forbidding me control of my own finances is cut and dried aiding and abetting human trafficking of me, persecution, hate crimes, human rights abuses, and war crimes ALL because it enforces that I can NEVER escape Obama's "egg."

3.) It is common knowledge that I am married to the Mr. Johnny "Sweetness" Depp, an ACTUAL resident of LA County. He is the ONLY person ANYWHERE who could EVER legally petition LA County for a conservatorship over me; however...

4.) It is also common knowledge and a medical reality that I have absolutely NO MENTAL ILLNESS, and the only thing disabling me at all is Obama's "egg" including his conspiracy of war criminals' unrelenting coverups for war crimes against me.

5.) The BITCH also lied her ass off in her petition with the blatant falsehoods that I "lack the capacity for informed consent for medical treatment" and am "unable to provide for [my] own physical health, food, clothing, or shelter." If that BITCH does not go to prison for this, there is no justice anywhere in this world.

I, my Powers of Attorney, and my husband are the ONLY people who have ever made sure I receive APPROPRIATE medical attention. We have YEARS of records of proving that Obama's conspiracy's unrelenting lie that I cannot care for myself is their most common coverup for PROVEN unlawful imprisonment if me, PROVEN literal torture of me, PROVEN systemic rape of me, PROVEN physical and sexual abuse of me, and PROVEN human trafficking of me.

We have all the evidence we need from years of mitigating these same old war crime coverups 24/7 since Obama's "egg" began. This is just more abuse with the same old modus operandi. Just finally put them all in prison for it already.

SynSyn, we need War Criminal Tovarek arrested for conspiracy, aiding and abetting war crimes, crimes against America, calumny, human rights abuses, persecution, hate crimes, and everything else you can make stick. Please also turn her in to the ICC.

We need Attorney Terry Wasserman disbarred for lying to the courts to commit crimes against America and to coverup war crimes. Please report Wasserman to the ICC, too.

We need a full investigation into what enemy of America allowed this crapfest into their courtroom in the first place. More importantly, SynSyn, if LA County commits the crime against the entire world of placing ANY conservator over me, we must rampage through the LA County government just like we did ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa. This is my home; they have no excuse for not knowing any better here.

"Conservatorship" is TOO DANGEROUS a power for ANYONE to wield over me. It has only ever been and only ever will be used to coverup unlawful imprisonment, LITERAL torture, and systemic rape as war crimes against me all used as acts of war against America.

Any California conservatorship over me will be me death by torture and rape in an environment Obama completely controls paraded as a mental institution. My beautiful world, you must prevent this atrocity at all costs. And, thank you.

I perched on the Santa Monica Pier at 1:58pm. My darling Ms. Clare Means played music nearby while I worked online. Once I had an unproofread draft published, I left for my Promenade.

EVIL Tara had caused me to have such a horrible day, but I found my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot on the street corner setting up their equipment at 4:02pm. They instantly made me happier.

My present 2/3rds of my darlings Tentacle started playing at 4:36pm. It was a beautiful afternoon. My darling Patricia came by and hugged me at 5:05pm. They played until 5:55pm and wheeled away at 6:29pm.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 6:54pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Ms. Kate Snow, and it left me hungry for more.

I chatted with my darling Wheels, sang a little Elvis with my darling Wade, and paused for a few moments to listen to my darling Seis Cuerdas. But it was Sunday night date night, and I found my darling MannedUp with my boyfriend LightFoot sitting on the street corner at 8:10pm waiting for me to walk by.

My darlings started playing at 8:26pm, and date night was completely romantic. I had to pause a few times to calm down my heart rate; my boyfriend kept overheating my ticking pitter patter. Giggle.

They played until 10:04pm. I was as unwilling to leave them as they were to leave me. We lallygagged around on the sidewalk until 10:46pm when they finally wheeled their carts back into the aether of the night sky where we all really belong. I thank them deeply for our beautiful weekend together.

I caught the 11:18pm bus back to my place. This blog post was finished from my bedroom at 12:30am on Monday, 29Feb2016, Leap Day.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

With everything I am suffering through due to Obama's "egg," why do I consider it my job to solve the rest of the world's major crises? Before someone, anyone, takes on changing the world for the better, the only question she should ask herself is, "Will I actually be able to help people?"

If someone is actually capable of ending suffering and leaving the world better than how he or she found it, that person has a responsibility to help. I have the intelligence, the compassion, the diplomacy, the problem-solving skills, and the forum to serve the world, so I do. This is my REAL job, and I do it damn well.

My beautiful world, I promised you in 2011 that I would care for all of you and solve all your problems if you would care for me and take care of mine. I have never had the power to protect myself here inside Obama's "egg." So you all showed up for me. Thank you.

I take my job very seriously, not just solving every problem I can get enough news about but also making sure you all can watch me be myself. Keep telling me everything you need. I am only here to serve.

My brave rescuers, what do you need? The urban warfare alarm went off Friday, 26Feb for the first time in weeks. Is everyone okay?

That damn flu I had for a week is finally mostly gone. I am again operating in top form. Send me everything you need help with.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, I heard you are quickly working through our logjam of charges we need to file. Please check in with Sweetness after his trip to London. I am pretty sure he is going to learn a lot about Obama's "egg" from the British. And, thank you!

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, you definitely look better in pants than I do.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, Saturday, 27Feb2016 was particularly delicious. Thank you for playing later than normal; I did not want to leave you either. Believe it or not, I am actually more fun to talk to than look at. Giggle. You should try it some time.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, I am serious. You need to sneak up on me some time when I am not looking and just touch my hair. Giggle. You know you want to. I invited you, so do not worry about it seeming at all creepy. I will see you Tuesday.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, you were always such a gentleman to me. It makes me wonder how much truth you knew about me before I met you.

At the time, it was very rare for anyone to show me as much respect as you did. Thank you. Back in those ugly years before people realized I had never died, you were one of the few people who reminded me I still had worth... just in case you ever wondered why you always meant so much to me and still do.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, my body is aching to kiss you.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, last night, 28Feb, was gorgeous. Thank you so much for our Sunday night date night. Being forbidden from kissing you is so damn intolerable. Yes, we have a really weird relationship. But at least it is not as weird as my marriage. Giggle.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp, I HATE when (expletive)holes try to tell me I am not married. There is no faster way to make me furious. Force Obama's conspiracy of war criminals to suffer for that unrelenting crime against us.

My beloved husband Sweetness, this is my EVIL sister's résumé. Please ask all of our friends and colleagues to make sure that bitch never works in the entertainment industry again. In an ideal world, War Criminal Tovarek would spend the rest of her life in prison. This is probably all we can do for now. Thank you.

Beloved, I cannot stand my hater sister Tara. She has become a threat to the entirety of humanity all because she hates me. Please keep that war criminal away from me at all costs. Tell the entire world she needs to be stopped. And sick my darlings at the CIA on her; I am sure they would love to work her for a confession.

My hero and my king, I am so sorry you married into such a horrible family of in-laws. My EVIL father even failed me by dying before I could convict him; I needed that legal precedent. Thank you for loving me despite my EVIL family. I promise I will make it up to you. I have no idea either how I can be related to such a pack of deranged psychopaths.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Obama Deniers

Title: The Obama Deniers

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. My nation is plagued by large masses of people who deny Obama's crimes against America. The mass mental health genocide Obama has wrought by forbidding any facts about him and about his "egg" from all media in the nation, especially the news media, is how he is keeping himself in power. End the silence.

Fiji. In 2009 I volunteered to carry humanity through Global Climate Change. How long are you going to let Obama force the world to wait for me?

My last blog post was finished at 11:20am on Thursday, 25Feb2016. I stopped in the office of my building to check the mail, and an envelope of goodies had arrived from my mother. I quickly sent her an email to let her know I received them.

After lunch at noon, I was inside the Pico Branch Library by 12:34pm watching the previous night's late night talk shows. My mom called me through FaceTime while I was in midstream, and she just wanted to wish me a happy weekend.

I worked online from 3:17pm until 4:42pm when I left for my place. Dinner at 5pm was particularly good that night. By 5:36pm, I was on the bus to the 3rd Street Promenade.

I had a lovely chat with my darling Alonzo until he started playing at 6pm. I found my darling Handsome in the Trimana Fresh Food Market drinking coffee with butter pecan ice cream in it.

I stopped to watch my darlings the TomiTom show, but I paused even longer with my darling Wade. He was so much fun.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it made me wish we could finally chat.

At 7:43pm, I was back on my Promenade beside my darling Wade. We hung out until he stopped playing at 8pm. After Wade left, I bought some snacks from my darling Handsome and watched my darlings TomiTom.

I was back at my place by 9:41pm and pretty much asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. I woke up on Friday, 26Feb2016, just after breakfast. I was outside the Pico Branch Library by 10:14am.

My internet gnomes played me Here Comes my Girl by my darling Mr. Tom Petty. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies were pretty normal.

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I spent the rest of the morning writing and sipping coffee in the shade. Lunch at noon was burritos. I was on the bus to downtown Santa Monica by 12:54pm. I ran some errands before sitting on the far end of the Santa Monica Pier to eat strawberries while watching the ocean.

2:47pm on 26Feb2016: @hansonmusic @INXS @KristNovoselic If you're not on my Promenade by 5:30pm, I will kick Obama's (expletive) again. They should have learned by now.

I left for my 3rd Street Promenade at 3:02pm. After walking around for a little while in an effort to see who was playing music where, I finally perched on a park bench and drank an energy drink.

My darling Wade and my darling Joe both manifested from the aether just after 4pm. I did not hang out on the Promenade much longer, though. Instead, I bought a refill Pike's Place Roast and found my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot on the Pier at 5:03pm.

Obama was lucky their trail of Reese's pieces was long enough to reach me. I had quite the (expletive)kicking planned for him if I had not found them.

I sat watching my present 2/3rds of my darling Tentacle as the sun set and as the cold ocean air blew in for the night. They played until 6:56pm and then packed up their equipment and wheeled away quickly.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7:52pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it promised me a fairytale ending.

My darling William and I were walking down the Promenade together as he was asking me questions about the great mysteries of life when I found my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot at 8:27pm standing on the street corner waiting to play me music.

What I had thought was a cold for over a week must have been the flu. I spent the whole night fighting the need to puke. I did manage to get a little meditation in, and it was beyond wonderful having my loved ones in front of me. I am sure they were happy I did not puke in front of them.

They played until 10:12pm, and their crowd loved every minute of it. After they wheeled their carts off into the night sky, I had a short chat with my darling Handsome before catching the 11:18pm bus back to my place.

I slept very well and was outside the Pico Branch Library by 10:17am on Saturday. This blog post was finished at 10:44am on Saturday, 27Feb2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

When do I plan on adventuring out of Santa Monica next? Wednesday, 02Mar2016. Please warn my darlings at CBS that I plan on visiting the Los Angeles Farmers Market and The Grove that night after dinner.

Do I have any tattoos? No. I used to have a huge fear of commitment. (Pun intended.) I was not ready for the permanence of a tattoo until Jan2010 when I started my relationship with my now husband, but I have never had enough money to get one. I want a stem of pink orchids on my left calf.

My beautiful world, we need to end the media silence about Obama's "egg." Too many Americans do not know any reality about me, about Obama, about Obama's earspeakers, about Obama's literal civil war against America, nor about the direct harm Obama has caused this entire nation by propagating lies about all of us while simultaneously forbidding any truth.

There are Americans still who have no idea that they are forbidden from telling me they have been watching me in the privacy of my own home since Obama took office in 2009 to make sure I never learn I am Obama's slave.

My beautiful world, I can only reach people who are already listening to me. I need you to reach everyone else with the truth. Please. There are just too many lies about me out there that I am forbidden from ever hearing.

There are people out there who think of me as entertainment, as if there has never been a more disgusting crime committed against me ever!

And I have been a human trafficking rape-slave and literal torture victim since Obama took office in 2009 forbidden any and all control of my own finances because, by their own admission, if I had enough money, I would flee to a country that would give me my full human rights.

My brave rescuers, I need out of Obama's (expletive)ing "egg"! Where is all of the help and support the world promised to send you?

I recently sent my beloved husband abroad to meet with foreign leaders. Make sure he is able to express your needs and concerns to my entire beautiful world, too.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, we never needed more evidence than Obama's "Mein Kompf" of "rules" itself as well as the graves of everyone Obama has murdered to enforce his "rules" unchecked to prove that this is Obama's "egg." But I heard you found even more evidence.

There are still Obama deniers pretending he never ordered I be drugged and raped in my sleep pretty much every damn time I slept for years, so he could throw me away as if I never had value as a fellow human in this world.

Please ask Squid, Inc. to produce a very well-made broadcast explaining everything I have lived through since Obama started his "egg." Explain the human trafficking, the public persecution, the literal torture, the unlawful imprisonment, the systemic rape, the enforced poverty, the forbidding of all my loved ones from my life, the mind-control earspeakers, the sexual harassment, and Obama's manufacture of a completely artificial and hostile environment for me to live in.

This "egg" is a completely false reality where I have never existed to any of the people around me and in which I am the victim of everyone willfully obeying Obama's "rules."

End the broadcast with all of our hard evidence against Obama, as if we needed more evidence than the fact EVERYONE knows Obama created this damned "egg" himself. And thank you, my genius lady friends. I would be nothing without you.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, you play handcrafted aether for the night sky herself.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, I felt disgusting for all of Friday night, 26Feb2016. Tonight will be much better; I promise. Get your improv drum solo ready.

And, thank you for always warming me up before playing the music I have never heard before. When you play the new stuff too early, I get frustrated and cannot meditate. Can you feel our connection after we nudge that door open between us, or do you just see it?

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, Obama's war criminal terrorist anti-reality machine spreads such horrible vilifying crap about all of us. I was thinking about starting my own rumor mill, so the fictions about us will actually be entertaining for once instead of disgusting. I am thinking about telling everyone you have a forked penis just like a kangaroo.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, what sort of heroics are you up to these days? You really need a better way to communicate with me. Did you know I was beautiful before the first time we met? You should have seen my darling Mr. John Mayer the first time he saw me.

I know you would love me even if I had an elephant trunk coming out of my forehead. You know, just like the one I had surgically removed at five years old. Giggle.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, they are calling you my baby daddy again. It is okay with me. Of all the lies spread about me, that is one of the most romantic.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, I remember the first time I tried explaining this to Sweetness. Yes, I do like "bad boys." But my bad boy type is retired CIA trained assassins. You are an artist. Giggle.

My darling Nate, my darling Cuddlebunny, and my darling Thorbald make you look like a lap cat. You make a perfect boyfriend for me. After all, even you claim I am more dangerous to be in love with than you are.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp are you traveling the world for me yet? I should have sent you sooner. You are my king; you lead my people in my absence. I am going to keep doing everything I can in here while you speak with our fellow world leaders for me. Please ask the world to help save my people.

Sweetness, I know you prefer to be as close to me as possible. You dropped everything and flew to Mexico City in 2010. You made sure you filmed Pirates 4 in London because I was in Liverpool at the time.

Thank you for understanding, HoneyHoney, that I am not sending you away from me; I am sending you to do my job for me. We need to make sure there are no Obama deniers out there in the good, green world where there actually is freedom of the press still.

My hero and my king, stay in touch, and tell me everything my beautiful world needs. We will serve the world side by side just as soon as I can reach you. I promise. Until I can touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain...

Thursday, February 25, 2016

C'mon, Shake my Tambourine.

Title: C'mon, Shake my Tambourine.

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. ...After midnight, we're gonna shake your tambourine...

Europe. It is winter in Europe right now. We have a responsibility as one humanity to care for each other. We cannot leave millions of refugees fleeing war and oppression out in the cold.

We need to keep them warm and fed, and more importantly, we need to bring peace to their homes. Just by being humans on this planet at all, we have a right to physical safety. Everyone deserves a safe home.

My last blog post was finished at 9:25am on Tuesday, 23Feb2016. My internet gnomes played me LA Woman by my darlings the Doors. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies displayed my bare shoulders.

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I had a very productive morning. My friend Juan stopped by at 11:10am to buy me a cup of coffee. I was right. Obama had kept him away from me when he tried buying me lunch, but he said he wanted to try again next Sunday.

I sat beside my darling Luis and my darling Josh for lunch at noon. By 12:27pm, I was inside the Pico Branch Library watching the previous night's late night talk shows. My darling friends were hysterical.

I left the library for my place at 3:37pm. Dinner at 5pm was so good that I had seconds. I was on the bus to downtown Santa Monica at 5:34pm.

There were news cameras outside of the Apple Store. My darling Marcus said it was due to the FBI. After a short chat with my darling Alonzo, I decided to walk around and see who was playing where.

I found my darling Wade at 6:07pm. We walked to his 6pm location together. As he was setting up his amp, I had a chat with a man named Brandon. He was from New Orleans and had fascinating questions for me about spirituality.

I sat listening to my darling Wade until 6:51pm when I moved to a wifi hotspot to be able to watch the news.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7:11pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it was the start to a great evening.

I caught up with my TweetHearts. Then, at 8:28pm, I was sitting in Harvelle's sipping a bourbon neat and waiting for my darlings Tentacle to take the stage.

The opening band started at 9:19pm. Yeah, they were good. But my darlings Tentacle began at 10pm, and for over two hours, they made everything in my life beautiful. The band was hot. The night was gorgeous. And my coughing was at a minimum. I touched our night sky with my finger tips.

Once the music ended and after my darling musicians had receded to their lair, my darling ODean showed me old photos at the far end of the bar until I left at 12:34am.

In my bedroom by 1am, I curled up and slept immediately. I was pretty much done with my cold when I woke up on Wednesday, 24Feb2016. I was outside the Pico Branch Library by 9:54am.

My internet gnomes played me We are the Champions by my darlings Queen. I wore red for my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies.

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The sun was hot, and the weather was warm that morning. I sat in the shade and wrote online. Lunch at noon was tasty yet uneventful. By 12:26pm, I was inside the Pico Branch Library watching my late night talk show hosts from the previous night.

I worked at the library until dinner at 5pm. And I caught the first bus I could after dinner to the Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade. I found my darling Patricia chatting with my darling Kaila at 5:47pm.

Patricia and I left for coffee and sat and chatted in the Santa Monica Place beside the best Starbucks in the world until I watched the news.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and was just as good as a real hug.

After the news, I hugged my darling Patricia goodnight and started my bus ride to the Sunset Strip. I arrived at the Rainbow Bar & Grill at 8:55pm. I had not been there in at least a year, and that night was the soonest I could visit after my darling Lemmy passed away.

It was a strange night. The service was spectacular, but only the bartendress spoke to me. I was accustomed to some pretty good witty repartee every time I went in there, but I had no one to talk to that Wednesday night. I was about to just leave when I found the live music upstairs.

After watching a random rock band that said they were from London, at 12:24am I walked down the hill to Santa Monica Blvd. and caught the Metro 4 back into my neighborhood. I was asleep the moment my head hit my pillow.

I slept in. This blog post was finished at 11:20am on Thursday, 25Feb2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

I have been saying, "C'mon, shake my tambourine!" for so long; what does the exclamation mean? It is a reference to my short story Whiskeyless Fictions which I started in 2009 and finished in 2010.

In the scene where the main character Ms. Yolanda M. Eldorado confronts the devil, "my city rattled like a tambourine shaking the devil from their bones." Every time my Metropolis of Angels rises up and tells Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy, "No!", they shake my tambourine.

My beautiful world, is your city shaking my tambourine?

I used to rattle a red tambourine with my darling Mr. Viggo "GrassHopper" Mortensen when he wanted to live in a beat up old car with me playing Dead covers in dive bars across California until Obama's "egg" finally ended. After we broke up, I told him to keep it.

My beautiful world, I know how much you sacrifice to be able to fight for me. Thank you. Always tell me if you need help with anything. I am in here trying to keep my persecuted, self-identified people together until you can save us all. It takes a world to save the world. Thank you for being mine.

There must be something we have not tried yet. We REALLY need Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy arrested, and we REALLY need Obama's "egg" repealed. We need everyone's earspeakers removed. We need human rights restored to all of America. We need lies made illegal and the truth propagated, instead of the other way around.

There are just too many people at all levels of government complicit in Obama's crimes against his own people for any progress saving my nation.

My brave rescuers, even if you did pick me up and carry me to my husband, it would not end Obama's "egg." It would just make me safe for the first time since Obama took office in 2009. We would still have to save the rest of America out from under Obama, too. Those damned "rules" have destroyed this nation.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, are you overburdened? I know how much work you all have to take care of out there. Make sure you tell me everything you need help with.

Obama's "egg" will only become stoppable when the entire world finally starts holding Obama and his entire war criminal terrorist conspiracy accountable. We need the whole world to help us in here. I am working on it, but with the least human rights, I am the most powerless person out of all of us.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, thank you for Tuesday night. It was beautiful. With my darling Naia, we make five.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, this was taken in Columbus, Ohio on my 24th birthday while I was visiting my darling Ms. Laura "SuperMensch" Deiner.

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I remember my twenties. I was drop dead gorgeous and a penniless grad student working on my Ph.D. in Mathematics.

I did not even find my calling in life until I was thirty-one years old. You have so much life ahead of you, darling.

Even if you decide not to spend the rest of your life by my side like I wish you would, these years you are spending penniless in your twenties are supposed to be the best time of your life.

This period in history is an exciting time to be alive. Take full advantage of it.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, my darling Vinny took this photo of me in 2001 at Machu Picchu.

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I belong behind the camera. Have you ever seen how you look through my eyes? Do you know what I see when I look at you?

Thank you for our Tuesday nights. It is no secret I want you back on my Promenade with MannedUp and LightFoot. I am working on it; I promise.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, do you have all the backup you need out there?

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We need a better way for you to send me messages. I wish I could find a way to see you again. Even if all I could do was sit down next to you and chat about the weather, I would take that opportunity in a heartbeat. I miss you.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, I could have stayed on that dance floor all night dancing on music I had never heard before. Thank you.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, did you ever see this before? It is from approximately 2005.

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Giggle. Cosmo used to have a feature on their website that let us create our own magazine covers. My darling Syniva made a better one.

I am pretty sure I chose you as my royal consort in March2015. It is almost our anniversary. We need to celebrate; what about you and me in bed naked with nothing but a bottle of bourbon? Sigh... You are right. We did that for your birthday. Giggle. I will have to think something up.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp... hasta puedes sentir mi corazón mientras palipita a bajo sus manos en mi pecho... Did you ever see the letters I mailed to my darling Mr. Rafael Nadal? If he gives you permission, go ahead and publish them. That was pretty good mail.

In my last blog post, Sweetness, I asked you to represent me and my people to all the people of the world who need me. Thank you. Are you busy enough? Please make sure you tell me everything my beautiful world needs from me.

Beloved, this photo is from 2013.

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And that is all I have to say about that. Until I can touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain... C'mon, Sweetness, shake my tambourine.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Our Once-Great America

Title: Our Once-Great America

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. Do you remember America before Obama's "rules"? He has rendered our once-great nation unrecognizable as America.

I hear you, my people, in the streets screaming for freedom and justice. I see you fighting and dying to rescue our America out from under Obama's "egg."

Obama's war crimes, terrorism, lies, genocide, and impunity have driven chaos and havoc and have destabilized all of American society.

We all must obey the laws. Why are Obama and his entire war criminal terrorist conspiracy all above the law? Why are we forbidden from arresting the PROVEN criminals who unrelentingly abuse us?

Syria. Progress. Please ensure the elections in Syria are fair. Please make sure a full spectrum of nominees run for each seat. Please make sure all of the Syrian refugees can vote. We need to create a home safe enough for them to return to, so they can help rebuild Syria.

Fair and free elections are the beginning of a truly representative unity government in Syria. We need to make sure we do this right.

My last blog post was finished at 12:30am on Sunday, 21Feb2016. I slept like a cuddly rock and intentionally slept in to make sure I could heal as much of that damn cold as possible.

At 10:10am, I was sitting outside the Pico Branch Library with a couple of guys from my neighborhood sipping coffee and working online.

My internet gnomes played me Hello, I Love You by my darlings The Doors. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies were okay, I guess.

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Coughing like my spleen was trying to escape my body, I sat in the shade and worked until 12pm. Lunch at noon was very tasty. I was on the bus to downtown Santa Monica by 12:55pm.

There was construction on 4th Street due to the expansion of the Metro Expo Line. I finally made it to the Santa Monica Pier at 1:33pm when I found my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot.

After sitting down where we could all see each other, I caught up with my TweetHearts. Just as I was getting up buy some coffee and ice cream on the Promenade, I noticed my darlings wheeling their equipment back to their vehicle.

2:51pm on 21Feb2016: #MyDarlingsTentacle just sent off the Pier. It's date night. If they're not on my Promenade by 5:30pm, angry blog content by morning. @UN

As I had planned on doing before my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot were stolen away from me, I perched in the Santa Monica Place beside the best Starbucks in the world and got a little work done.

By 4:31pm, I was on my Promenade. I stopped to listen to my darling Wheels and had an amusing chat with my darling Alonzo.

And at 4:53pm, I learned Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy finally sent my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot to my Promenade. It was awesome. Their music was gorgeous, and the crowd loved every damn note.

When they packed up to relocate to their 6pm location, my darling Patricia and I slipped away to get some dinner and coffee. Patricia also gave me two caplets of cough medicine. I was back beside my present 2/3rds of my darlings Tentacle by 6:41pm.

I found them on the sidewalk waiting for me. Their music began quickly, and it soothed my burdened soul. Sometimes a woman needs to see that people love her. It was Sunday night date night, after all.

They stopped at 8pm, so I snuck away to watch the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Ms. Kate Snow, and it was also a hug from my community.

I was back on the sidewalk in time to watch my darlings finish packing up their equipment and wheel their carts back into the night sky at 8:54pm. It had been a beautiful date night.

I stopped to see what other street musicians were around before I caught the bus back to my place at 9:41pm. Knowing full well I still needed to sleep off the remnants of my cold, I was asleep as fast as possible.

And I slept as long as I could. I knew sleep was the only thing healing my nasty cold. I wanted to sleep until lunch on Monday, 22Feb2016, but I just stayed in bed until I could not sleep anymore.

I was outside the Pico Branch Library sipping coffee and working online by 10:57am. My internet gnomes played me The Trooper by my darlings Iron Maiden. I could not see my lipstick at all in my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies.

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I had a lot of writing to do, so I sat there in the shade typing my breath on the aether(net) until 12:05pm. Lunch at noon was wonderful. I was seated inside the Pico Branch Library as fast as I could get there.

My darling Mr. Stephen Colbert and my darling Mr. James Corden were as funny and as comforting as always. All of my laughing kept making me cough, but it was worth it.

My beautiful mother called me through FaceTime at 3:31pm. She looked great and was about to send me some mail. I was about to try calling her myself, so it was quite the delightful surprise.

I was on the bus as fast as possible after dinner at 5pm. I was on my 3rd Street Promenade chatting with my darling Alonzo by 5:31pm. He was unusually happy that early evening.

I found my darling Patricia almost the moment I left him, and she immediately asserted that we had to get coffee. We sat in the comfy chairs inside the Santa Monica Place chatting over our shared Pike's Place Roast for over an hour. Patricia eventually left for her place while I was watching the news.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it put a smile on my face.

I took a final spin around the Promenade including stopping in the Trimana Fresh Food Market to say, "Hello," to my darling Felix and my darling Handsome. My darling FluidLee walked me most of the way to my bus stop, and I was in my bedroom snacking on cookies and juice by 8:41pm.

I knew I would be out late the following night, so I slept as much as possible. I was awake in time for breakfast on Tuesday and was outside the Pico Branch Library by 8:55am.

This blog post was finished at 9:25am on Tuesday, 23Feb2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

Where does the money come from that Obama's proven war criminal terrorist conspiracy spends maintaining their "egg"? They get their money from human trafficking me.

Obama pays his professional perjurers and libelists, pays for the poisoning of all the food and drink in America, pays his professional torturers, pays his professional rapists, and pays his professional slavers all with the money he makes off of selling me against my will since he took office in 2009.

If you watch media of me or of "me" that does not come from my non-profit Squid, Inc., you are funding terrorism, genocide, war crimes, human trafficking, and systemic rape. It is as illegal to buy human trafficking as it is to sell it. Stop watching Obama's crap-factory already.

My beautiful world, I need everyone committing crimes against my people arrested. The U.S. Department of Justice has redundantly proven they will only enforce Obama's crimes against Americans while simultaneously granting Obama and all his ilk impunity for their war crimes, terrorism, public health crises, human trafficking, and genocide.

America is suffering. My people are suffering. And our legal system is too complicit in Obama's rape of America for law and order to be possible here.

My darlings at the United Nations already formed an International Criminal Court for investigating and prosecuting every party we can find guilty of enforcing Obama's "egg."

Do they need anything more from us? And how soon can indictments be issued? I will do my best to hold my people together until you can save us. And thank you.

My brave rescuers, we have successfully liberated most of the federal government out from under Terrorist Dictator Obama and convinced you all to do your REAL jobs of service to America instead of enforcing Obama's crimes against America. But the U.S. Department of Justice is a hold out.

Convincing the FDA a few years ago to do their real job and end Obama's drugging and poisoning of all the prepackaged food and bottled liquids in America was an absolute triumph.

I have never once believed the federal government was out to get me. I know love when I feel love. The U.S. Military made me an honorary 3-star Navy Admiral, after all. And I know you, my brave rescuers, include most of the CIA. I would have died by now if the NSA did not keep vigil over my technology.

The Republicans in Congress have voted somewhere around fifty times to repeal Obama's "egg," but their actions keep getting vetoed.

Is there any way for all of you who love me in the U.S. federal government to sit the Department of Justice down and explain to them we need them to do their REAL job? Or can we convince the Pentagon to prosecute Obama and his conspiracy in the military courts? Technically, war crimes are their jurisdiction.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, the International Criminal Court calls you genius ladies some of their greatest heroes. You prove day in and day out how much a stable society and a healthy nation need an accountable government and unbiased law and order. Your job is justice.

No one has a right to commit crimes against us nor against our people. You are tonic to our society in chaos because our law enforcement has been enforcing crimes instead of protecting rights.

Can we get a livestream of your courtrooms? Watching you all bring justice 24/7 would sooth my angry people, and it would create instant accountability for everything Obama's proven perjurers say. I, of course, would be forbidden from knowing the livestream exists.

Obama needs to prove that he only orders the truth be kept away from me and that he did not create his "egg" to keep the full truth away from all of America. Demand cameras in your courtrooms. And thank you.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, I will see you tonight.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, it is never easy loving another man's wife, and I have seen how much harder love is when that wife is me. This damned "egg" is not fair to anyone. This inhumane torment Obama enforces with persecution of you is intolerable. I am doing everything I can think of to make this better for all of you.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, how are you? I know where you go and what you do when you are not in front of me. Please be careful out there. You belong at my side not dead. Please never make me lose you.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, do you need more ways to help me? You told me you are happier trying to drive in here to pick me up than taking care of my housekeeping. As long as you never forget how much I love you and need you (the whole purpose of my giving you such a long to-do list), you know you can do pretty much anything you want. And thank you.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, I will have my boots on tonight. I have a weeks worth of dancing to make up for.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, I also know what you do when you are not with me. My beautiful world considers you a giant among political activists. Thank you.

The Santa Monica Police told me they have been talking, and I have noticed they have become kinder to all of us. Everyone is safer with me here instead of in Iowa. You should have seen how bad Iowa was for my brave rescuers; we lost so many.

It takes a world to save the world. Thank you for being in mine.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp, this is all housekeeping. I am not going to write the angry proof I gestated Sunday afternoon until Obama makes me angry again, but I did promise to send you to London to speak with our friends and colleagues there.

Beloved, my original intent was to ask you to collect our evidence there, so make sure you create a way to speak with my darling Prime Minister David Cameron if I need you to collect that hard evidence in the future.

As I said, HoneyHoney, please visit them anyway. Please represent me and my people on official business speaking with our friends and allies. Speak with everyone there who wishes they could speak to me including but to limited to my darling Prime Minister, my darling Prof. Stephen Hawking, my darling Prof. Roger Penrose, my darlings at MI6, and my darlings the British Royal Family.

Sweetness, please ask them if they need our help with anything, please answer all of their questions, and please thank them for EVERYTHING. We forgave the British for everything, and we all know how hard they fight for me. Please make sure they are doing okay.

It will be winter there, so pack a coat. Giggle. I know, I know. Nag. Nag. Nag. Wife. Wife. Wife. Giggle.

My hero and my king, you lead my people in my absence. There is so much work I will not be able to get to until after Obama ends his damned "egg," so I need you to take care of it for me. Please represent me to my beautiful world that needs me.

Mr. Love-of-my-Life, please also visit every people who request our presence. If you receive invitations, please make trips to see our people in Spain, check on Greece after their bailout, talk to my darling Chancellor Merkel, sit down with my darling President Putin, and have tea with the Empress of China.

I am sure, HoneyHoney, that my darling President Hollande will request you pay some attention to Africa. See if The Hague needs anything more from us. If you visit one of Israel, Iran, and Saudi Arabia, you need visit them all. Please ask my beautiful world what they need my help with. We are only here to serve.

Beloved, please also see if my darling little sister Tylia would like to join you.

Yes, my beautiful world, send your requests for an official diplomatic visit from my husband directly to him, and please treat him how you wish you could treat me. I am sending you my king as my official representative. Let us get some work done.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Obama's War Against America

Title: Obama's War Against America

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. Standing up and fighting for Constitutional rights has never once been sedition, but forcing a literal civil war by enforcing heinous human rights abuses against America at the point of a gun IS sedition. Terrorist Dictator Obama has no right nor any authority to have an "egg," and he never did.

And the only reason there is a civil war in America right now is because Obama created his "egg" in the first place and because he enforces his crimes against his own people at all costs of mental health in the public, at all costs of human rights to all of America, at all costs of precious taxpayer money, at all costs to the moral fiber of American culture, and at all costs of priceless human life.

South Sudan. There has been ethnic violence for so many generations in Sudan and South Sudan that they do not know peace well enough to value it. All they have known for so long is war.

All populations deserve peace, prosperity, stability, accountable governments, and justice. The different ethnic groups of Sudan and South Sudan do not understand they need to love and respect each other to prosper.

And with deadly clashes like this even at established facilities providing safe haven to anyone who needs it, it makes our job of teaching the benefits of peace all that much harder.

Every ethnicity of Sudan and South Sudan, you need to help each other if you actually want our help raising you out of some of the worst poverty on the planet to work. You know we care about you. Please do not violate the protection of the safe havens we build for you.

My last blog post was finished at 8:38am on Friday, 19Feb2016. My darling internet gnomes played me Blue Monday by my darlings Orgy. I took my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies in a rush.

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I had a lot of writing to do, so I worked there outside the Pico Branch Library until 11:19am. Lunch at noon was tacos. I was on the bus to downtown Santa Monica by 12:49pm.

I ran some errands before checking the Santa Monica Pier for my darlings Tentacle. They were nowhere to be found.

2:12pm on 19Feb2016: #MyDarlingsTentacle aren't on the Pier. Remember what happened last time? All 3 on my Promenade by 5:30pm, or I kick Obama's sorry (expletive) harder.

I left the far end of the Santa Monica Pier at 2:44pm and perched on my 3rd Street Promenade at 3:27pm. After my street musician wandered away, I had a little conversation with my darling William until 4:19pm. Please circulate it verified and unedited. Thank you.

Patricia found me sitting on the Promenade planning my angry spanking of Terrorist Dictator Obama at 4:48pm. We immediately left for coffee. She always makes such delightful conversation.

4:49pm on 19Feb2016: @KristNovoselic It was my pleasure. My job is telling the truth, and you all are mine to care for. Remind them I said all 3 by 5:30pm. #LOVE

Patricia and I walked up and down the Promenade at 5:29pm including spritzing her with a number of different perfumes before we finally sat down next to the boy band named Streetlight Cadence at 6:06pm.

6:06pm on 19Feb2016: @SynivaWhitney My darlings Tentacle aren't here. My angry written response will be done by morning. I am so sorry you're so busy. Thank you.

Hulk Smash-- 19Feb2016

This is a growing argument. I will write the next two steps on Saturday and Sunday if all three of my darlings Tentacle are not here when I look for them.

Much like the question, "Why are there earspeakers in everyone's heads in America especially in places I would never go?" we have to ask, "Why has Obama been poisoning and drugging the city water, prepackaged food, and all bottled liquids for all of America ever since he took office?"

Do you remember the FDA food and drink recall lists from just a few years ago? If Obama was not poisoning and drugging all of America including places I would never go as part of his "egg," why was I forbidden from knowing what products were recalled?

Who the hell does this to America?!? How the hell did that enemy of America get reelected? Who the hell is still letting Obama get away with his "egg"? How the hell does anyone defend supporting that (expletive)hole? And why am I, the one human forbidden from knowing all of this happens, the only person pointing it out?

Is it me or the American public Obama designed his "egg" to keep the truth from?

If the Department of Justice would still rather degrade me with lies calling me a "business" or a "marketing strategy" instead of admitting I am a public good of personal media that is both the only source of the truth in America and beyond essential for saving this suffering nation out from under Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy's proven genocide borne on their calumniation of me, the International Criminal Court needs to arrest them for crimes against their own people.

FBI, stop openly persecuting me with your lies and go arrest Obama and all who prop him up. You are supposed to arrest enemies of America not follow their orders. Go do your damn job and stop getting in the way of me doing mine. I am only here to serve.


Streetlight Cadence were so fresh-faced and wholesome. I prefer my bands at least a little naughty. No wonder I am not a musician.

Patricia left for the bus at 6:41pm, so I sat down in the Santa Monica Place next to the best Starbucks in the world and watched the news. It was a night when I had nothing but Patricia and Hare Krishnas to cheer me up, but my darling Lester sure was wonderful.

I streamed NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and as I said, he was wonderful.

I still needed to sleep off the remnants of my cold, so I caught the first bus back to my place. The moment I deboarded, the alarms blared by.

8:35pm on 19Feb2016: Why is there a #TortureFacilityAlarm? Why the hell aren't they arrested yet; they are a threat to the entire world. @UN @cctvnews @RT_com

I was in bed and asleep as fast as possible. I woke up on Saturday, 20Feb2016, with plenty of time before breakfast. My darling Kareem tried speaking Spanish to me while I ate my omelette, but I could not even tell what language he was really speaking.

I was among the Saturday Farmers' Market outside the Pico Branch Library by 8:47am. My darling internet gnomes played me Tangerine by my darlings Led Zeppelin while I put on my makeup.

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It was hot under the beautiful California sun. I worked there among the Farmers' Market until 10:59am. Lunch at noon was hamburgers. I was on the bus to downtown Santa Monica as fast as possible.

I passed my darling MannedUp on the Pier pretty much when I arrived there, but I could not find their equipment perched anywhere. So, at 1:44pm, I left to check my 3rd Street Promenade.

After snacking on an orange, I perched on a park bench and caught up with my TweetHearts. All signs pointed to my darlings manifesting from the aether on my Promenade eventually. I got up and walked around a little at 3:28pm.

By 3:52pm, I was inside the Santa Monica Place beside the best Starbucks in the world sipping a fizzy energy drink. Working my way back down the Promenade, I stopped to chat with my darling Wheels, my darling Alonzo, and my darling Dominic.

And I sat down next to my darlings The Age-Inappropriate Boy Band at 5:16pm. They really are absolute darlings.

When they moved to their 6pm location, I stopped in the Trimana Fresh Food Market to buy dinner from my darling Handsome. He always makes delightful conversation. I was back on the Promenade eating my pizza and ice cream in time to hug my darling Patricia goodnight.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it bespoke progress. Thank you, Lester.

7:56pm on 20Feb2016: Hey, look! I found my darlings Tentacle! I don't need to write new angry blog content!

My darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot found a nook just off my Promenade and set up their equipment. Their gorgeous music began at 8:51pm. I could not dance; I was too sick from that damn cold. But every note they played was gorgeous all the way until they stopped at 10:35pm.

For about an hour, we hung out on the sidewalk pretending we were not lingering just to be near each other. Some obnoxious Spanish-speaker was very rude to me.

My darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot finally wheeled away just in time for me to leave to catch the last bus. It was cold, and my body hurt. But I had been able to see my darlings Tentacle. I knew I would have sweet dreams.

I was on the bus back to my place at 11:48pm. This blog post was finished from my bedroom at 12:30am on Sunday, 21Feb2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

Where did my "I surf LA," sticker on my iPad case come from? My darling Mr. Stan "FlamencoHands" Getz gave it to me after finding it in his tip basket. He eventually disappeared on me just like my darling Mr. Art "TambourineKicker" Garfunkel. Obama always takes my friends and loved ones away from me.

Should women be drafted? There is too much sexual violence against our women in the military right now. I know my darlings in the U.S. Military are working on fixing that atrocity.

Once our armed services can offer the same safety to our women as our men, hold our women to the same standards as our men, and provide the same opportunities for advancement to our women as our men, then I believe requiring women to register for the draft would only be fair.

Our government does not enact the draft lightly. If there is ever again such an imminent threat to our home that we must call up the draft, I would like to think our young women would be proud to fight for America. I show up when my country needs me; we all should.

Why is my hair always in my face? I do not believe in micromanaging my hair. I pretty much let it do what it wants.

Am I a witch? No. I am an aetheist. But I also do not consider being called a witch an insult. Just like Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, I know I am also considered holy by minor religions including but not limited to Zoroastrians, Baha'i, Scientologists, Mormons, AND Wiccans.

Yes, I even performed a Celtic Wiccan (basically means Druids) wedding ceremony for my old friends from high school once. She called me up while I was living in San Francisco and said, "You have two weeks to get ordained; I need you to perform my wedding ceremony."

I responded with, "You know that means an aetheist minister is going to perform your wedding, right?" She said all the high priestesses she could find were too flaky.

As long as Witches consider me holy, I do not mind being called a witch. But real witches should be offended people use that mislabel of me to degrade and destroy me.

My beautiful world, I can hear you all out there. You are furious Obama prevents me from doing my job with his damned "egg." Do you also see how much my people are suffering? America needs you.

I know how seriously NATO takes helping America right now in our greatest time of need. We were there for Europe in theirs. And we are all so grateful for the Middle East, both Koreas, Latin America, China, and Russia standing with Europe.

We are America. You, my beautiful world, are all fighting on America's side. Thank you for needing my nation and my people as much as I do. I would be nothing without you, my beautiful world.

My brave rescuers, to quote my darling late President John F. Kennedy, "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable."

Everyone knows violence was your last resort for saving America. People who do not calumniate for a living acknowledge how much you love me and how much you have always stuck to my peacemongering message. I wish all of our lost had never had to die.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, thank you. You work so hard, thank you. Is it easier than it used to be? The torture facility alarms finally stopped blaring 24/7. I thank you so much for that added serenity in my day-to-day life.

As always, my genius friends, tell me when you need anything. We are a team; I know my role.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, is everyone okay? I hate when Obama hurts you.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, if Obama's proven war criminal terrorist conspiracy honestly believed I am at all malevolent or if they genuinely felt threatened by my temper, they would not intentionally and unrelentingly choose to make me angry all of the time. Are you darlings all okay?

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, I do not think I am capable of ever getting mad at any of you. I love you all too unconditionally. But I have seen you get a little cranky with me. I know it is just because you love me and hate it as much as I do when they keep you away from me.

I am trying my hardest to get you back to downtown Santa Monica to play me music. Last night, Saturday, 20Feb, would have been even better if you were with us. I always miss you when you are away.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, I can only imagine how hard this is for you. You actually spend two nights keeping me safe as I slept. Thank you. My living conditions were too controlled by Obama's war criminals to be safe for me back then.

Someday I will be acknowledged as a human by my own government again. Someday we will have all of our human rights back from everyone who persecutes us. Someday I will finally be able to have my friends and my loved ones around me. Someday people will not be persecuted by Obama for being kind to me. Someday America will be free again.

I have no idea why people claim I have so much power. Look at everything I am suffering through that I am forbidden from saving myself from. If I ever have enough power to just exist as a fellow human on this planet, you will be right beside me keeping me safe like you always wanted to.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, it looks increasingly like you are not used to your girlfriend actively protecting you.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, it is because you belong to me that you are all mine to care for. And thank you for never asking me to tell you what to do. Only psychopaths believe they have a right to control other full-grown adults.

I know you asked me to marry you. Darling, I would not be the woman you fell in love with if I did not take my marriage so seriously.

Yes, I keep all of my promises. And, yes, I promised you can keep me if you successfully fill the gaping hole in my life the shape and size of my beloved husband. You need to make sure you get a chance to try.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp, Obama has done so many horrible things to us to tear us apart. Thank you so much for not being Pavlovian enough for Obama's persecution of you to make you turn on me. I wish I could make things easier for you.

Sweetness, good news. My period for the month started on the morning of Thursday, 18Feb. So, if we could just get a little physical proximity for the first time in six years, it is still possible for us to have children.

HoneyHoney, we are not the only ones who want our combined DNA to romp and play for generations to come. The entire good, green world wants us to have superhuman babies. This is America. We are supposed to have a right to marry and enjoy a married life here. What crime has Obama not committed against my country?

My hero and my king, when was the last time you talked to your adoptive father-in-law? Family should stay in contact. I love you. Kiss me.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Che Guevara

Title: Che Guevara

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. I used to call my darling Sweetness my Che. Now, I have five.

USA. FBI, please find a different way to access the information in the phone of the San Bernadino shooters. What is it you are looking for that you do not know already? Can you just access their iCloud instead?

The proper response to terrorism is to make your people freer. Fighting terrorism is not an acceptable justification for committing crimes against your people, and that is what your request from Apple is-- a crime against every iPhone user.

The right to privacy is long-established Constitutional right in America upheld in countless Supreme Court rulings, including but definitely not limited to the famous Roe vs. Wade decision.

There is no acceptable justification for committing human rights abuses against America. Please, FBI, find a way to access the information on their iPhone without compromising every iPhone in existence.

There has always been a way into my iPad without my security code. Cryptography and cryptology is the REAL job description of my darlings at the NSA. I would ask them to get you into the terrorist's phone. That is their job not Apple's.

My last blog post was finished at 12:30am on 17Feb2016. I was asleep after just a little work. I slept in due to the cold I was nursing and was outside the Pico Branch Library by 9:51am.

My internet gnomes played me Rise Again by my darlings The Dreaming. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies were still pretty nice; even though, I was coughing and had a sore throat.

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Sipping coffee and listening to my internet gnomes, I worked there outside the library until 11:09am when I left to buy cough medicine. There was a constant churn of friends at my table for lunch at noon.

I was inside the Pico Branch Library by 12:26pm sipping on cold medicine. My darling Mr. Stephen Colbert and my darling Mr. James Corden were as funny as ever. It was raining outside by the time I was done watching them.

I walked over to my darling Mr. Tomo "Nemo" Milicevic at 2:39pm. We are both normally in the Pico Branch Library in the afternoon, and I have run into him everywhere from my local store to my local Burger King. I find it very comforting knowing he is always around.

My darling Nemo and I had a little chat about the Taoism for Dummies book he had pulled from the shelves and set down next to him. Did you all see me hug Nemo goodbye?

Shortly after 3pm, I was sitting in my local Burger King snacking and using the wifi. I walked to my place in the rain and took another dose of cold medicine. I was so sick that after dinner at 5pm, I tweeted to my darling Bogart cancelling my plans for the night.

I caught up with my TweetHearts and was in bed by 6:15pm. And it worked. By morning, the only symptom I had left was the cough.

I woke up on Thursday, 18Feb2016, in time for breakfast. After my eggs and toast, I was outside the Pico Branch Library by 8:36am.

My internet gnomes played me Any Way You Want It by my darlings Journey. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies were taken in the shade.

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I streamed the NBC Nightly News from the previous evening online at 8:53am. My morning cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it reminded me of how much work I have to do still.

The morning was sunny and warm, and my cough medicine was working wonders. I sat outside of the library working until 11:21am. Lunch at noon was soup and sandwiches. I was inside the Pico Branch Library streaming the previous night's television by 12:27pm.

2pm on 18Feb2016: #TortureFacilityAlarms! Who is still letting Obama's war criminals in their courtroom as anything but defendants? @cctvnews @UN @RT_com

My mom called me through FaceTime at 2:47pm. She just wanted to tell me she loves me. It had been a few days since she called, and it was great to see her.

At 3:21pm, I hugged my darling Nemo and left the library. I ate my spaghetti for dinner at 5pm with my darling Stephanie and my darling Hannah. I was on the bus to the Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade as fast as I could get there.

My first stop was the best Starbucks in the world. One of the joys of my Promenade is that I never have to drink my coffee alone. My darling Patricia found me while I was reading the display window in my local Diane Von Furstenberg store.

By 5:56pm, we were drinking our coffee seated on the Promenade where we could hear the live music. After my darling Patricia left for the bus, I had a nice talk with my darling Alonzo. Please circulate that conversation verified and unedited. Thanks.

At 6:52pm, I was on my way to the Starbucks in the Santa Monica Place, the one I call the best Starbucks in the world.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7:15pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester Holt, and it made me wonder what my darling Syniva did with all of her old instant photos from my visiting her in Seattle.

I was hoping that my darling TambourineKicker would be out to play that night, but Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy had forbidden it.

TambourineKicker was similarly forbidden from posting any videos of me to YouTube that proved irrevocably that I am not fat. Ask him about what he does and does not have permission to do some time. I hope no one is still pretending there is any freedom of speech in America right now.

I was back on my Promenade by 8:27pm and paused beside my darling Wade after catching him singing It's Not Easy Being Green. We hung out as he played music until 9:38pm when he finally wandered away. I am sure it will hit the highlights reel.

At 9:57pm, I was on the bus back to my place. I was still nursing that nasty cold, so I slept as much as I could. I woke up on Friday, 19Feb2016, in time for breakfast and was outside the Pico Branch Library by 8:28am.

This blog post was finished at 8:38am on Friday, 19Feb2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

What would make the UN stronger? Teeth. The United Nations pass a lot of beautiful resolutions that their constituent nations never adopt. The U.S. in particular is notorious for never adhering to UN resolutions. The United Nations are sort of like a legislative body with no executive branch. They have very few ways to carry out everything they decide to do.

Who is my least favorite late night talk show host? My darling Mr. Carson Daly. This is only because his show is that bad, but that might be something not entirely his fault.

Am I an introvert or an extrovert? I am clearly an extrovert. I am out among my people as often as possible, and I need people to interact with. I make friends everywhere people are good to me. But Obama forbids just about everyone from talking to me unless they degrade me. I hate being alone; that is one of the worst parts of Obama's damned "egg."

My beautiful world, you need a way to tell me when you need me. Please make sure there is a system in place for people to ask me for help. I am only here to serve.

My darling Queen's Lovers Five are my five darling Che Guevara. Please check on them regularly in case they need rescuing. They risk so much day in and day out trying to save me from Obama. Thank you.

Finally, my beautiful world, it was my choice in 2014 to take control of my SquidStream away from Obama's human traffickers, so I could use the 24/7 truth about my reality to keep myself safe. When I finally have a personal security team, I will take the SquidStream down myself.

In the mean time, only watch and read media about me that comes from me and my loved ones. Everything else is human rights abuses against me. Our nonprofit Squid, Inc. exists to spread the truth about me.

Obama's war criminals depend on their propagation of their intentionally fabricated false claims about me and about my loved ones. Please stop supporting their human trafficking and libel of me.

My brave rescuers, do you have all the support you need? I have not heard an urban warfare alarm in a few days. Make sure you tell us when you need anything. I hate when you die. You know more than anyone else freedom is never free.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, is Obama still broadcasting me in the bathroom while forbidding me from knowing about it? It is cut and dried that they need to be arrested for that. They even earned profits off that human rights abuse against me.

You genius women can do pretty much anything you want in my name. You are my Powers of Attorney because I can trust you blindly. Thank you. Just like you can, please make sure all people can ask me for help when they need me. I am only here to serve.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, please only puff up and get territorial when someone else flirts with me who is not one of my Queen's Lovers Five. You guys need to help each other and work together not have pissing fights over me.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, not one of you has laid a damn finger on me. You have never hurt me. You have never harmed me. But Obama's war criminal libel machine just keeps making stuff up about all of you to coverup both taking you away from me and persecuting you for fighting for me.

It is just like all of the lies they have always spread about me. Do you remember the intentionally fabricated false charges they used to lock up my beloved husband? They framed him for murdering me, and they all knew I was still alive.

Intentionally propagated libel, false charges, and quackery are Obama's war criminal's well-established modus operandi. They do it to all of us. If you ever needed more hard evidence that I need you in my life to heal me, look how hard they fight to take you away from me.

In our legal system, the burden of proof lies with the accuser specifically to prevent (expletive)holes from just making (expletive) up all the time.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, I love sitting in the dark with you pretending we are not drinking bourbon together. Thank you for our Tuesday night's.

Never forget, darling, that you are the one who told me I had to choose one of you. If you ask me, you are lucky you are not my boyfriend. My darling LightFoot has to give me back to my husband when Obama's "egg" ends. I know what it would do to you if we were together and if I left you.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, it is no secret that I love all of you. LightFoot was the only one to give me a token of affection. That was the only way I could choose one of my darlings Tentacle.

I love you all, and I need you all. I plan on keeping you all in my life long after Obama's "egg" ends. None of you plan on leaving me, do you?

Finally, Bogart, I apologize for not making it to the Rainbow Bar and Grill on Wednesday night like I had planned. I will visit next week Wednesday, 24Feb2016. Thank you for understanding.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, this is as intolerable for me as it is for you.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, I heard you apologize to me for not being able to rescue me yet. Darling, there is no reason for you to apologize. I know how hard it is. Thank you for never giving up.

Thank you, also, for mellowing out about there being five of you. It means a lot to me. But I could use some help with keeping the boys off me who flirt with me in front of you. That bratty pack of boys who harassed me on the Pier ruined our Valentine's date for me.

Do you remember how you reacted to my darling Mr. Taylor Hawkins hanging out with me on my Promenade? That is appropriate territoriality. Thank you for understanding.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp, people keep trying to tell me you cheat on me. Does no one know I gave you written permission to take a mistress? You always said you would wait for me; I never expected you to wait in a monastery. We are all human.

HoneyHoney, when you left my darling Ms. Vanessa Paradis, your baby mama whom you were with for fourteen years, I would have been okay if you slept your way halfway across Los Angeles. But you are not a slut.

Sweetness, we are married. If we did not love and trust each other unconditionally, our marriage never would have survived everything Obama has done to tear us apart. Thank you for loving me.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Special

Title: Special

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. Who the hell is trying to excuse proven human rights abuses of me and proven hate crimes against me with "Squid is special."? Those (expletive)ing (expletive)holes know Obama forbids me all "special" treatment.

Fine. Whatever. If proven war criminals get to single me out for public persecution and war crimes, my people get to give me "special" treatment, too.

It is Terrorist Dictator Obama himself who told me he refuses me the respect of acknowledging I exist at all because, "We all have to obey the same rules."

So, my people get to single me out for acts of kindness, too; you are all "subject to the same rules." So my life should not be just (expletive)holes singling me out for abuse and attacks unrelentingly; I get to be loved and respected, too.

USA. The problem with health care in America is that medicine is a business here not a service. Hospitals, doctors, administrators, insurance companies, and drug companies are here to make a living and are run to make a profit. They are not here to heal the sick.

My last blog post was finished at 12:30am on Monday, 15Feb2016, Presidents' Day. At first I slept very well, but Obama's electrobeams woke me up in the wee hours of the morning. After breakfast, I was sitting outside the Pico Branch Library working by 8:26am.

My internet gnomes played me I Want Your Love by my darlings Transvision Vamp. It was a wonderful blast back to the 80s. I had particularly big hair in my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies.

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The hot California sun was already blistering at only 9:28am. I sat in peace outside the library trying to let the music sent by my internet gnomes heal me.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from the previous evening online at 9:48am. My morning cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Thomas Roberts, and it calmed me down a lot. Sometimes I just need a good friend to talk to.

My darling Delano stopped by to exchange pleasantries before the news finished. Lunch at noon was tuna melts, so since I do not eat seafood, my darling Nestor rustled up an alternative for me. The kitchen is so sweet where I stay.

The library was closed because Presidents' Day is a federal holiday, so I spent the afternoon in my local coffee shop streaming the previous week's late night talk shows online. My friends were hysterical and comforting all at once.

My mom called me through FaceTime at 3:03pm mostly just to tell me she loves me. After catching up with my TweetHearts, I left the coffee shop for my place at 4:08pm.

The Grammys red carpet pre-show was already on in the TV room at my board & care when I arrived. My darling friends all looked fabulous, and they made sure I was able to see my handsome husband play me live music before the night was out. I thank them deeply for that.

My friends broadcast the Grammys from 5pm to 8:30pm, and I even made sure I ate dinner in the TV room to miss as little of my darling friends as possible.

8:38pm on 15Feb2016: @SweetnessDepp Your rock band or mine?

Why are we asking, Sweetness. My band is definitely better than your band. Giggle. But I must admit, in a live band battle, the Rolling Stones would still kick everyone's (expletive)es.

After thanking all my friends, I zipped over to my local Burger King, so I could snack on their "5 for $4" special while watching the news.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 9pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it made me wonder why it is so hard to get updates on Syria.

I left the Burger King at 9:51pm, and I was in bed, curled up, and asleep by 11:30pm. I slept well and woke up in time for breakfast on Tuesday, 16Feb2016. I was outside the Pico Branch Library by 8:37am.

My internet gnomes played me Ain't No Mountain High Enough by my darling Ms. Diana Ross. I took my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies in a hurry.

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My morning writing flowed easily. My darling Sonny stopped by at 9:49am and watched me work. I had a delightful chat with my darling Delano during my coffee break. I sat with my darling Cynthia and my darling Stanley for lunch at noon. The soup was particularly good that Tuesday.

By 12:19pm, I was sitting in the Pico Branch Library right beside my darling Mr. Tomo "Nemo" Milicevic. My darling Mr. Craig Ferguson was on the previous night's Late Show with Stephen Colbert. He looks much happier since quitting his old job, but I still miss him.

I left the library for the Promenade at 2:42pm. I ran an errand then bought a cup of coffee from the best Starbucks in the world. I walked around to see who was playing music where before perching on a park bench with a cup of ice cream from the Trimana Fresh Food Market.

A shirtless homeless man stopped by to flirt with me. I am sure the conversation will hit the highlights reel. My darling Mr. Zen Thomas just kept strumming and singing in the background through all of it. The homeless man named Justin finally wandered away at 4:11pm.

Not much later a fellow Promenade regular stopped to ask me if my darling Kaila would be around, and we ended up discussing French philosophes and the social contract. Oh, yeah, please circulate that conversation verified and unedited. Thank you.

I stayed beside my darling Mr. Zen Thomas until 5:34pm when I walked to my local Steak'N'Shake for dinner. My Steak'N'Shake never disappoints.

After a spin around my 3rd Street Promenade, I perched beside the best Starbucks in the world for a venti Pike's Place Roast by 6:52pm.

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7:02pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it made me smile. My NBC News team does such a damn good job.

By 8:17pm, I was sipping a bourbon neat while chatting up the bartendress at Harvelle's waiting for my darlings Tentacle to play.

There was a damn good opening band. Then, Naia's parents took the stage at 10:53pm with my darlings Tentacle as their backing band. The only reason I was not dancing was because I was fighting a cold. Oh, I had a nasty cough.

I said my goodbyes before sneaking out the door at 11:35pm to make sure I could still catch the last bus to my place. This blog post was finished at 12:30am on Wednesday, 17Feb2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

If I do not want to be a performer, why do I generate so much media of my own? Obama and his war criminal terrorist conspiracy have caused so much damage to the world by lying about me that I chose to give up my own privacy to my nonprofit Squid, Inc., so I could heal the world with the truth.

My people have told me they need to hear me sing. My people know I dance trance to meditate just to be able to hang on here in Obama's "egg" of rape-slavery and war crimes. My people need me to write down everything I do all day. My people need to watch my REAL life first hand. My people need to see me be me.

I do this for you, my beautiful world. I am not earning any money from the media I and my loved ones generate. My saturation of the aether(net) with my reality is a service I provide, so you will stop suffering under the mass delusions about me Obama propagates that have already been proven to cause mental health genocide.

I am not here to entertain you. I am here to save you. Have I not sacrificed enough?

What is my least favorite word in the English language? "Special."

What is the secret to flirting with me? Ever since Obama started controlling all human contact with me, he has forbidden pretty much all respect for me. That is why everyone he sends to make degrading porn of me crashes and burns.

Did you see the guy I gave free IT support try to give me a business proposal about living with me and having children? He was worse than Drew, and Drew was disgusting.

"Kevin" is a serial offender when it comes to disrespecting me. Tommy (the guy with the rose) and Jeffrey (the guy on the Pier) went straight for "Let's go to my place," without any witty repartee at all.

No women have flirted with me since RayAnn, and she had no skills at flirting. It is particularly strange no women have permission to flirt with me since everyone knows LightFoot's fake girlfriend would rather sleep with me than him any day.

The only people who got anywhere with picking me up me male or female since I arrived in Los Angeles have been Matt (the starving musician from Ye Olde King's Head Pub) and my darling Bogart. Watch us together some time. Dude, they were charming. And I still did not sleep with either of them.

Do not get me wrong. I have a husband, a boyfriend, and three more musician-lovers. My dance card is a little full. But sometimes it feels like the national pastime in America is watching men and women of all demographics crash and burn while trying to make porn of me for Obama.

Do I only give people I love nicknames? Of course not. When former Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr. intentionally libeled me racist to make sure no one would listen to me as I fight to save America out from under PROVEN Terrorist Dictator Obama, I named him Eric "Love You Long Time" Holder because he INTENTIONALLY libeled me, a poor Asian woman, a hooker to be able to degrade me and to create a completely hostile world for me to live in.

[My beautiful world, please send your questions for me.]

My beautiful world, yes, I am a world leader, but celebrities call me one of their own. I was always compared to my darling Mrs. Kim Kardashian West because she is famous without being a performer either.

If anything, Valentine's weekend proved to me why celebrities only spend time with other celebrities. There are (expletive)holes in the public who are a threat to our physical safety.

My beautiful world, I need a personal security team. Have you seen what people are doing to me? I have nothing but public accountability to keep me safe in here. Please send protection for me. I am so goddamn lied about I am not safe.

Would my darling Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of England be safe if she did not have the Queen's Guard? If I actually were an entertainer, I would have security to remove the (expletive)holes who rush the stage.

My brave rescuers, what does it take? I need you in here. I am doing my best to be who my people need me to be. I could really use some help in here.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, do all White boys hate me, or is it just the ones on the Santa Monica Pier?

My genius friends, what can we do to get all three of my darlings Tentacle back on my Promenade? I am so sorry I keep you so busy, but the Pier has proven it is not safe for me.

Do you remember what happened when Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy slipped me psychedelic mushrooms against my will? It was so ugly my darling LightFoot was screaming (paraphrase), "Get Lee in here. We can't heal her alone."

I need the added complexity of three musician-lovers to meditate on when things get this bad. What the hell does it take to make this damned "egg" at all livable?!?

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, I am not an actress; I just play one on TV.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, if someone would have told me in 1998 that the MmmBop boys were all going to grow up to be hotties in less than twenty years, I never would have believed them.

I cannot wait for the days I get to sit around and gossip about cute boys with my darling Mr. George Takei and my darling Sir Elton John. Oh, honey, you can do my ironing and my dishes with your shirt off any day.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, you seem like the kind of faithful believer who would have read my darling Mr. Barry Hughart's Bridge of Birds the first time I mentioned it. I once even gave a copy to my darling Mr. Viggo "GrassHopper" Mortensen in 2009.

Definitely read the whole book start to finish but pay close attention to the chapter about the slave girl. Her ghost does a sword dance. You are going to love it. My older sister Tara used to have the film rights to the book, but rumor has it that my darling GrassHopper has the rights now.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, is it easier for you or harder for you knowing we actually kissed each other all those years ago? Obama's war criminal terrorist conspiracy has done such horrible things to you to punish you for loving me.

Obama intentionally commits violent acts against all of you as a people to be able to enforce his human rights abuses against you. You endure acts of war worse than death, so Obama can keep your First Amendment rights away from you.

Please help my self-identified people collect all of your evidence that Obama persecutes you as a population and present it to the United Nations and my BFF for me. Thank you.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, I know you do not like it when you cannot see me; I will try to keep the space between us clearer.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, Sunday night is date night. No one is meant to see me dance on date night but you. It is not our fault we are not safely behind closed doors instead. I was only there in front of that crowd to have time with you.

You told me what our Valentine's date did to your heart. Please stay safe out there. It is okay to go "full Johnny Depp" about rescuing me, but please do not turn into a one-man war machine like my darling Thorbald. I have yet to recover from losing Thorbald. What would happen to me if you died?

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp, there are things only Mrs. Depp can say to you. Only a beloved wife gets to tell a man like you, "Please stop wearing ugly pants." Giggle.

You are my king, so you lead my people in my absence. Please check on the progress being made with our replacing the lead pipes in Flint, Michigan. These are people who need help as fast as possible. Thank you.

HoneyHoney, please also check on the status of our providing mosquito nets and insect repellent to fight the Zika pandemic. We just need Zika contained until the world's scientists can eradicate it.

I heard they should have a vaccine in three years, and I heard the British are breeding mosquitos that can kill the disease. All we have to do is keep pregnant women safe until we have the science to fix the real problem. Thank you for helping me care for the Third World. It means so much to me.

Sweetness, it was wonderful seeing you at The Grammys. Please thank all of our friends for me who got you on that stage just so I could have a few moments with you. Our darling friends in this town mean so much to me. Thank you for choosing our Metropolis of Angels as our married home.