Monday, January 31, 2011

Mostly Silent Since Thursday

I took a little break from the internet for most of my lazy weekend. I blame the water for all of my lethargy. I have been trying to switch up where my water comes from, and it has really helped. It does not, however, give me any more of my human rights. Let us work on that, world. Let us work on getting us all our human rights.

What did I do Friday? I watched tennis in the wee hours of the morning, so I slept from about 5am until about 10am. I went to a medical appointment at 1pm. I have no idea why they keep scheduling them. They do not get to acknowledge anything that has happened to me since my human rights were taken away. After that, I wanted some sun and some fresh air, so I drove down to Grey's Lake and took the lake walk in my heels. I had research to do, so I stopped in the new, shiny, copper Des Moines library and printed out almost 100 pages of articles and academic papers. I ducked into the smoothie-and-other-health-food cafe that is attached, and the Mango Mango really cleared my head. It was nectar from the gods, and I must have been more than dehydrated. I snatched up some dinner at China Moon and went back to the parents' house for the night.

Well, I updated my resume which has been on hotjobs since 2009 on Thursday, and so far I have only received spam from it. It looks like the persecution continues; the US government is still forbidding me contact from would-be employers. Then again, I would need the spy equipment removed from my head before I could really take a job, and it is still the US government that is forbidding the spy equipment from being removed from my head. Wow! The US government has me not only persecuted from every angle but also penniless.

As for you Egypt, please stay as peaceful as you can while you demand the government that you deserve. It is beautiful to see a population organize and demand their rights. Please stay as peaceful as you can, and do not settle for less than the government that will make you happy. It is working.

I heard that Obama had something to say about human rights in Egypt. Where does that waste of human skin get off criticizing any country's human rights policy? He is the culpable president guilty of oppressing all of America and persecuting an innocent woman. It started because Obama thought he could get away with it, and it continues because Obama does not want to be held accountable for his actions. He is trying to stall so long that he hopes he will not get impeached. Sorry, Obama. War crimes and human rights violations are still impeachable offenses. My only regret is that Saddam Hussein is not here to sit on your jury of peers. What? You forgot that systemic rape is a war crime?... just to mention one of your offenses...

Ethanol is still driving up food prices around the globe. I know I am in Iowa right now, and this is no place to get caught criticizing the first force to let farmers make real profits... but ethanol is wrong on so many levels. Yes, it is nice to see alternatives to oil, but corn is food. With all of the starvation in this world, why are Iowans using food to move their cars around? If Iowan farmers have been having problems selling corn for people to eat, why not grow food people actually do eat? This is some of the richest soil in the world! Why is it Iowan farmers are not growing food to feed people? With the soil quality here, Iowa has the potential to be agriculturally self-sustaining. Instead, they would rather create higher carbon emissions with corn-based car fuels. Rant over. I hate ethanol.

Thankfully, we can count on the courts for long-needed reasoning in times like these. That was my problem with the health care Obam-ination from the start. It is too expensive for lower- or middle-income families to afford the care, and if they do not pay for it they are penalized. Yes, our country needs to address its health care system, but all Obama did was take a problem and make it worse. That is all Obama does; he ruins America.

And on the topic of Obama, did he fire his speech writers for "win the future," yet? I know Obama is not the best with words himself, but that was one of the stupidest themes for I speech they could have chosen. It is not as bad as ending your campaign slogan with a preposition (which was reason enough to refuse to vote for Obama), but the future is not a contest. The future is something we borrow from our children... to adapt a Native American sentiment. We need to be responsible and intelligent not competitive. Unfortunately, our president knows nothing about being responsible nor intelligent. He is such a sorry excuse for a world leader. Look at his track record, and then tell me if he cares about the future or if he is just trying to cover his ugly, skinny backside.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

My Resume


Procure worthwhile permanent, full-time or part-time employment that is intellectually stimulating, that is enriching for the soul, and that helps the world.

Place of Birth: Duluth, Minnesota, USA
Citizenship: USA

Writer and Author -- 2006 – current
self-employed -- San Francisco, California, USA; Taiohae, Nuku Hiva, PF; Chicago, Illinois, USA; West Saint Paul, Minnesota, USA; Ankeny, Iowa, USA
Fiction, Nonfiction, Novels, Memoirs, Articles, Autobiography, Novelettes, Short Stories, Screenplays, Television Pilots… some published and some unpublished

Mathematics Content Editor -- 2003 – 2006
CTB/McGraw-Hill -- Monterey, California, USA
Responsible for generating, piloting, and editing the grade-level, cultural, and difficulty-level appropriate mathematical content for mathematical exams administered by the country of Qatar and various states in the US. Used many industry-designed forms of software to ensure the performance of each exam and each question on each exam. Met with teachers, religious leaders, and community leaders from across the areas in which the tests were to be administered to ensure in face-to-face meetings that all mathematical and cultural content was appropriate for all students in each geographic region.

Editor & Mathematician -- 2001 – 2003
Laurel Tech -- Redwood City, California, USA
Proofread and accuracy-checked mathematical textbooks from manuscript assembly to blue lines for difficulties from college-level to middle school-level. Wrote, content edited, and style edited ancillary materials of middle school textbooks for major national educational publishing companies. Worked through the pedagogical concerns, style editing, and mathematical accuracy of college-level educational software in both mathematics and English.

Marketing Assistant -- 1999 – 2000
Interep Marketing Group -- San Francisco, California, USA
Demographic analysis of radio markets. Created algorithms to most efficiently reach internet users of various backgrounds and in most major US cities. Wrote copy and creative for radio spots. New business research. Database creation and administration. Maintained relationships with agencies, radio stations, and advertisers. General office support.

Mathematical Science
Bachelor of Science -- 1999 -- magna cum laude -- University of Texas at Dallas

Arts & Performance
Bachelor of Arts -- 1999 -- magna cum laude -- University of Texas at Dallas

Undergraduate summer study abroad to Cambridge University, Cambridge, UK
Undergraduate summer study abroad to the Univerzita Karlova, Prague, CZ

study towards Doctorate of Philosophy -- 2000 – 2001 -- Johns Hopkins University

Liberal Arts
study towards Master of Liberal Arts -- 2003 – 2004 -- Stanford University

-Web 2.0 savvy
-Hyper-detailed with fact-checking, researching, and proofreading
-Very much at ease on the telephone and in-person with the general public, celebrities, and persons of political importance
-Highly experienced with writing and speaking and quite able to express myself efficiently, professionally, and effectively
-Understanding of and sensitive to the needs of a global team
-Driven by a need to better the world
-In possession of well-listened-to, internalized logic and socially-responsible judgment
-Seasoned with the nuances of Microsoft Office
-Expressive on strongly held and still currently evolving environmental issues
-Capable of performing admirably under pressure
-Forward-thinking and insistent that this behavior prevents most disasters
-Aware that my global-consciousness starts with my own heart and reaches across the world with no end

article -- Fulcrum Magazine -- July 2008 -- “My First General Practitioner”
article -- Fulcrum Magazine -- January 2008 -- “Love Sees with the Heart”
short story -- Prolonged Insult -- 2008 -- “The Dance of Libuše”
novelette -- -- 2008 -- “Infamy”

English -- native speaker
Spanish -- intermediate
German -- beginner
Czech -- beginner

-Traveled to four of seven continents and various island nations
-Completed Iowa Summer Shakespeare Conservatory twice during high school
-Sat upon Huayna Picchu and looked down to see Machu Picchu below my feet
-Sang with choir at Carnegie Hall on Easter Sunday 1994
-Won a full four-year scholarship that allowed both of my undergraduate degrees

-International and indigenous dance (from traditional Hawaiian to Argentine Tango)
-Volunteering to help educate our youth
-Writing and the craft of writing (from sestinas and lyrical prose to the power of a speech)
-Travel: There is always more of the world to see.
-The arts (from the fine arts to the common ones)

Available upon request.

A Research Day... One of Many...

I was planning to dig through online research today to see what effects Global Climate Change is expected to have on food production, but I have become distracted with an academic paper arguing the hypothesis that malaria infections are expected to increase regionally across the globe. Standing water. Warmer temperatures. I cannot believe I volunteered for getting humanity through this... but somebody has to do it, right? Hee-hee.... No, really, I am super-smart, have super-powers, and keep amazingly cool in a crisis. This is my job, and I know it. I just wish I would be allowed to do it effectively finally. WHERE ARE MY HUMAN RIGHTS????

I just discovered a review of a book on urban planning for "climate refugees." It should be a good read. Oh, and a paper on carbon dioxide capture is right behind it. I am not a fan of carbon dioxide capture; you have to put all of that gas somewhere. I am a fan of carbon dioxide processing... you know, trees. Now, I have my hands on a paper concerning energy security and global climate change. Some of these writers are so behind the times. Global Climate Change is here already. We cannot make plans for mild or gradual change ten years from now; too many people will be dead and/or displaced. It is also a geologic and solar system cycle. You can capture all the carbon you want; it will not change the fact Mother Nature has her own mind on these topics.

Besides being enslaved by the New World Order as an opium for the masses (Those idiots!), besides gearing up for carrying humanity through Global Climate Change, and besides fighting to have all of our human rights restored, I might need yet another job. Let us revisit an old blog post from January 2010.... Let's Test Some Theories. Refusing to allow anyone to hire me was part of their persecution of me. I really need to get out of my parents' house, though; my current living conditions are mentally and emotionally insalubrious. So I need a new occupation, preferably at home in California. Do you think ILM is hiring? I make great office chit-chat. Do you think the federal government will allow me to be employed? That is the real question. They do persecute me so. Well, if you all do not mind sniffing around to see if someone is audacious enough to thumb his or her nose at authority and hire me, my resume is here. Do you think I used enough buzzwords?

I should get back to my research. Global Climate Change waits for no one. Sigh,... why do I take on these responsibilities?

Sweetness, check your mail on Saturday. I hope you like what arrived yesterday... I thought a Spanish gift might be appropriate. I love you more than words can bear. Happy Valentine's month!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Existence is like Watching Paint Dry.

I wait. I wait for the day my human rights are restored. Though, I committed no crime, I live punished and suffering. A person must stand trial and be convicted before her human rights can legally be taken away. And, we are all supposed to be innocent until proven guilty... Yet, I suffer. This is undeniable persecution by the US government. You need to organize and refuse to comply.

It is another day. I am still persecuted. America is still oppressed. What are their lies this time for why this must continue? And why do you still fall for those lies?

Some might consider my cinematography art created with nanotechnology. When I noticed the cameras were there, I tried to make the world a more beautiful place. No one was willing to acknowledge them. No one is yet willing to let me have them removed. I did everything I could to make the world realize just how beautiful it really is.

With all of the crimes committed against me, why would I let them win? Why would I let them ruin me? Yes, I have privacy issues from all of this... but who could survive this without any? Most people could not have survived this at all. Let us hope no one else ever has to.

I am sitting at Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day) right now. I wanted to cozy in and write a love letter, but I am so disgusted with not being allowed near the love of my life that I am getting the anger out by blogging. This really is a vent for me. It is how I get things off my soul set it all free on the ether. At least some part of me has freedom. I should be writing that love letter soon... It is Valentine's month, after all.

In the land of the mundane... I sleep too much. The water makes me sleepy and gives me headaches. I should go to the gym more often, but the water makes me so sleepy. The Australian Open has been delightful, but I keep missing when Roger Federer plays. Damn water knocks me out.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Follow-up to the Executive Summary...

Obama was preened to be elected to get everything through Congress to ruin America... everything from bailouts for Wall Street executives to the construction of the wall between the US and Mexico. With all of the horrors that face America, the coming State of the Union address will be about money. Yes, we have learned what Obama values most... Well, maybe he values power more than money... I am not even sure if I am going to watch. Obama just is not worth my time. And if I do, I know I will spend the entire time yelling at the man who persecutes me to take his damn red tie off... as if he ever supported me. Obama is the man who persecutes me and oppresses America. He is the president of the United States and the head of the US executive branch; that is how culpable he is.

Did you ever wonder what I want? Did you ever wonder why I sit at this computer everyday screaming at the world for help and attention? Well, listen up. I want my human rights back. Why is it the FBI is not working on that one? Oh, wait, that is because the US executive branch actively persecutes me. Every person who believes this should continue for any reason is part of the problem. Stop falling for their lies. Organize. And refuse to comply. I want my human rights back. We all deserve our human rights back.

Oh, Moscow. My thoughts are with you. May your survivors and the families of the dead heal quickly. But make sure you only let the blame fall where it is truly due. This must be an emotional time for you. Be careful that you only seek out true justice. Look what happened to world after the blame for the Twin Towers and 9/11 fell on the wrong place. There is no need for another one of those.

"It is not enough to conquer. One must be able to seduce." --Voltaire (sort of... I do not know who translated the quote.) This is an act of warmongering. This is not an attempt to gain lasting influence over an area. If the US wanted to be more influential in Afghanistan than the Taliban, they would use honey instead of bombs. The Taliban is just a convenient excuse to build tactical bases and aggravate volatile nations in Asia. This is the New World Order in motion... as they let our soldiers and Afghan innocents die. The rich have no concern for the poor of this world.

There is so much to be said for evolution. There is a genetic fit out there to meet every crisis. When I was picked out to be a victim of the world's rich oligarchy, they chose poorly. The idiots chose a person genetically capable of enduring their tortures without ever losing her mind and with the strength to stand against them. When they panicked and the missiles flew... my secrets were out. I still say it must have been the British who sent the missiles. Did you talk to NASA about this, yet? There is so much energy in this universe. Despite all of this, I am still a human and due full human rights. If you look at my genetic coding, you will find 32 pairs of chromosomes... all of them X's. And what is your thank you for all I have done for this world? You persecute me. My beautiful world, you need to organize and refuse to comply.

I should really make babies... Sweetness, we have a jukebox romance. Who am I quoting at you today? "I want your lovin', and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance." How does it feel, Sweetness, to be one of two people in the most romantic true life story ever? It is your love that sees me through. Expect a box on Wednesday. I was hoping this would be taken care of by our anniversary, but it looks like Obama is persecuting me longer and making us wait. Happy Valentine's month!!!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Executive Summary

I was asked for an executive summary of what I think is going on and why I am so horribly persecuted. This blog post will be an effort to lay out things from my perspective. It starts with President George Bush, Sr.

This may begin a little far-reaching for those new to my blog... But have you heard of the New World Order? They waited for generations for Global Climate Change to be right to drive the world into political and economic chaos and war in order for a military state with a global dictator to rise out of the ashes to run the planet. Just look at all of the constructed crises that fell in line with the incoming onslaught of Global Climate Change. There was possible global economic ruin (which I stand against. Keep your local economies strong to prevent global economic collapse!) and possible World War Three as the US government warmongers in Asia and the Middle East... (which I stand against. I believe world peace is possible.) They have been building military bases all over the planet to facilitate the military state that would rise out of the ruins they were creating.

They even combed through Social Security applications for a pretty and innocent face with a history of mental illness, so they could create a media machine and blame her getting wise on her mental health history. They started a war in my name and told you all never to tell me. When I demanded that a doctor tell me the truth, he stuck me in a hospital. When they realized they could not control me, they put equipment in my head and decided to drive me mad. When that did not work, they decided to defame me. Celebrities poured into San Francisco under a master plan of tempting me into a slutty lifestyle while Obama lied to the world and told you all that I am a prostitute. I have never been a prostitute. I have never even been a slut.

The entire time from my admission to the hospital in Minnesota in May 2009 until my release from the hospital in Liverpool in December 2010, through Iowa, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Mexico City, and all over the UK, I was battered and raped in my sleep by the New World Order trying to drive me mad. They have done everything to get rid of me. When they started poisoning me and giving me exotic diseases in San Francisco, I went international.

They terrorized San Francisco with everything from chips in their heads to McCarthy-like searches for 'leaks.' They put addictive drugs in the tap water everywhere I have lived and stayed since San Francisco and still do it now. No one allows this to happen to their home, unless they are terrorized. And they terrorized San Francisco.

I stand against every part of the New World Order from creating panic over Global Climate Change by calling it the coming of the Apocalypse to warmongering in vulnerable war-torn areas. They hate me for it, so I remain persecuted. I still only get controlled television and radio. My friends are still kept from communicating with me. A corrupt Polk County District Court judge even gave my cruel father adult guardianship over me when I am not an Iowa citizen nor resident.

I remain persecuted, and America remains oppressed. You are all terrorized by Obama into obeying social controls over you that remove your freedom to associate, freedom of speech, and freedom of the press. You all need to organize, stand up for yourselves, and refuse to comply.

All of that said...
Chad, whoever you are, I told you to quit writing to me. I do not read them. I just delete them. Yet, their existence and your attitude of entitlement annoys me. I already told you to stop. Now, I insist.

Sweetness, check your mail on Wednesday! I am sitting in this café dreaming of our bright future together. Hee-hee... This is how much I glow when I think of you...

It has not been all bad. At least I have a dream husband. I am just not allowed near him.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

I had a Lazy Night Last Night.

After spending Thursday night down at the People's Court in Des Moines taking in a rock show, I spent Friday night baking cookies and watching tennis with my mom. The weather is so cold over here that I spend a great deal of time huddled under the covers trying to keep warm. I actually made it out today, though, and am sitting at Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day) typing these notes to the world and posterity.

The Australian Open has been great company to me lately, in a world where barely anyone speaks to me. I am beyond sick of, tired of, and fed up with how persecuted I am by the US government. This is what the headlines look like when I surf the internet for news. I cannot get any new music on the radio, and my friends are kept out of contact with me. All of the water around here, including bottled, makes me sleepy and gives me headaches. Physical safety is still new to me, particularly while I sleep. At least that is a turn for the better, I suppose. But it is a recent one. My father is a monster he himself forces me to endure. He is such a sadist. Which part of 'end the human rights violations first' does the US executive branch claim is in a foreign language it cannot understand?

Obama is such a pansy. With all of the controversy and oppression he has caused in this once great nation, he is going to discuss unemployment at his State of the Union address. Loser. I am not joking. The Secret Service should be warned. If I ever meet that bastard president, I will slap him. Considering all of the horrors he has put me through, it would be a compliment to him.

There is revolution in the air. The people are speaking, and governments are succumbing. Where is ours?

Personally, I believe in a separation of religion and state. Sometimes, though, one might have to say something to the other to keep things running humanely. I never once put a chip in anyone's head. If you still have one, and with this I address the people of the UK and the people of my beloved San Francisco, I suggest you have it removed as soon as possible. What did they do to you to force you to get one? I know the British are just weak-willed and (when around me) prone to cruelty, but San Francisco... really? What snake-tongued lies did they sell you? This is a good time for religion to help with spiritual healing. The governments were beyond out of line. This was the sort of thing the government should have stood in the way of from the start not merely helped along.

It is another day. I am still persecuted. The American people are still oppressed. The world is still flooding. And I can see no signs of progress towards ending any of this. It is like I am screaming into the dark everyday.

I fear my father is having a break with reality. It might be based in the water he drinks, but he berates me with his irrationality. My dad needs a reality intervention and deep counseling. Someone please volunteer to take him aside. I cannot endure his sadism any longer.

Sweetness, the next gift goes in the mail Monday. Expect it Wednesday. YEY! I love you so much. It is Valentine's month!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I Danced Last Night.

I am almost calmed down after screaming for freedom and sanity this morning. I tell you what, if my dad goes out of his way to harm me again, I will start spreading around his personal information. He needs to be kicked into line, and all I have for ammunition is knowledge. No one should treat anyone as cruelly as he treats me, and I have no other way to defend myself against him.

I actually kicked up my heels and went dancing last night. Jason Boland and the Stragglers played at the People's Court in Des Moines. I must blushingly admit I had never heard their music before, and I just happened to wander in. But it proved to be a damn good time. It was a fight to get out of the house, but once I was free of my parents I made it to live music and life was worth living. There is so much to be said for the freedom of the soul I find in dancing.

There are going to be superhero movies all over the place this year. I must admit I always wanted a Green Lantern ring. That might explain my affection for emeralds. There is even a new X-Men movie... ah, human evolution. There is so much to be said for human evolution.

Huh, it seems they have been building sustainable houses out of plastic bottles in Indonesia. Yes, it seems; humanity can be taught. I have been wondering for a long time what to do with all of the ocean plastics. They WILL be removed from the ocean by all who have wronged me. Oh, yes they will. I could tell them to build sustainable housing for the masses with all of it. Does that sound dreamy, or what?
Yeah, dad, you're on that list of people who will be fishing plastic out of the ocean yourselves.

This one
should be common knowledge by now. The rich just keep getting richer off of the US being at war. There is no reason why peacetime cannot be profitable... it would just be profitable for innocents instead of warmongers. I spent a long time in the UK talking with asylum seekers there. At last count, I heard that the US military had plans to build bases in Zanzibar, Nigeria, Japan, and Pakistan. This, of course, was news from asylum seekers not verified Wikileaks, but it was highly distressing nonetheless. Where does that huge percentage of the US budget that goes to the military end up being spent? It is not on soldiers' wages and benefits. We also know that the US government has been warmongering in Asia and the Middle East.

Thank goodness for whatever peaceful influence has been whispering in both Koreas' ears. Now, the North wants talks to release tensions. It seems that the Koreas do not want the rich of the US to turn their homes into war zones. Stay calm, Koreas, you do not want World War Three to be fought in your home. Do not get pushed into killing yourselves by the US's oligarchy of money.

Meanwhile, when I am not standing in the way of the nuclear weapons of World War Three, I have to deal with a verbally abusive and cruel father aggravating me to tears as I scream for him to leave me alone. I fear he might honestly think I am having delusions of grandeur. Somebody needs to kick him into line with a heavy dose of reality. Any volunteers out there?

Sweetness, did you get anything in the mail today? It was entirely my pleasure.

Thomas Raymond Varilek of Ankeny, Iowa is an Asshole.

My father, Tom R. Varilek of Ankeny, Iowa is an asshole. He went out of his way this morning to aggravate me to tears while I was screaming for him to leave me alone. He is beyond intolerable. He is cruel. He perjured himself to have this power over me. It is a short blog post this morning. I just needed to write it down and get it out. I promise a real blog post this afternoon.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

To quote Neil Diamond...

I understand the need to jump into a fire to put it out, but I cannot imagine needing to actually physically light myself on fire literally and non-metaphorically to make a point. I suppose it is because I need to live to keep fighting. If you, a reader, ever feels the need to light yourself on fire, just think about that for a moment. Could you do more good if you stayed alive to keep fighting? This world is a frustrating place, but can you change it? Can you live and fight?

I could see myself with the audacity to stand in front of a tank, though... not that the military and I would ever have a showdown. I am such a pacifist, a(e)theist, hippie nerd that I wonder so often why such diverse people like me so much. (*giggle*) Maybe I glow with divine light or something. To quote Neil Diamond, "Gonna make our own lightning."

In that spirit, never let an oppressive government stop you from spreading the truth. It is when we are oppressed that we need the truth most. So, my beautiful world, keep the war on libel and oppression waging. Force the government to be held accountable by telling the truth. To quote Neil Diamond yet again, "Money talks. But it don't sing and dance, and it don't walk." We are so close. There are things money cannot buy, and the truth is one of them. Love is one of them. I am another. What about you?

Personally, I would just collect the evidence and turn in the people trying to bribe me into lying. If you enter a contract to do something illegal, you are both guilty. Oh, and always insist on getting your bribe money and instructions in writing up front. These people are so far from trustworthy; they would convince you to commit the crime, tell you that you did it wrong, and then refuse to pay you. Always get it in writing. Always take the money up front. Oh, and if you were me, you would also always refuse to become a criminal and just turn them in instead. That is, if the FBI is doing its job, yet. If they have ever needed help with any of this, all they have ever had to do was ask me.

As for the US and China, let they without planks in their eyes cast the first stone. Who the hell cares what Obama's views of human rights are? I would be surprised if Obama could even pronounce "the Bill of Rights" least of all acknowledge he is supposed to be upholding it. Yes, I, a US citizen with no human rights inside US jurisdiction, is casting a stone. "I am, I said, and no one else."... to quote Neil Diamond.  China is no one for Obama to criticize or even speak to on terms of human rights violations while he is still persecuting me and oppressing all of America.

Oh, UN, you should not have made him fight. You would have a lot more to gain from a complacent Iran than an angry one. Ahmadinejad even knows and understands the limits of nuclear weapons, particularly while I am around, and he is still pushing forward just to spite you. UN, you are creating problems instead of fixing them... then again, that is probably your twisted agenda... to created a ruined world. We all know you should have made me complacent, but you only want me persecuted. You want a ruined world.

Human expression, ah, human expression. Do not forget that in the US, you cannot constitutionally be censored until AFTER you speak. Go create art, people! Speak! and Sing! and Dance! and Paint! and Write! and Do! and Make! and Play! This is the human experience, my beautiful world! We are nothing without it. Just remember the only rules. No lying about people. No stealing your human expression from other people. Respect each other's privacy.

I am now on twitter! If you need to see my random thought for the moment, you can find me here: It satisfies my need for immediate communication. I have no smartphone, though, so the tweeting happens in spurts while I sit here at this computer. To quote Neil Diamond, "Can't sit still while the music is playing." My mind is an active thing and prone to vomiting random ideas.

And as a final note to Sweetness, as I am prone to always adding, "Rock me gently. Rock me slowly. Take it easy; don't you know that I have never been loved like this before." -- Neil Diamond

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Googley-eye-schlager... and the Speech of His Smarmy-ness...

I spent last night at a bar in Des Moines called The Lift surrounded by twenty-something menfolk having a night off from party-mode. They were full of stories of drunken vomit and hobbled ankles. Ahhh.... youth. I was clearly the oldest person in the bar including the bartender. One of them bought the whole lot of us shots, and I guzzled some concoction that tasted like a baked good... a gingerbread cookie, I think. It was the second time in my life I had ever had Goldschlager. Now that is an odd drink. It made me ask the bar full of twenty-soemthings, "Could we make googley-eye-schlager?" And our only conclusion was that we needed edible googley eyes first.

It is another day, and the world is still turning. The same problems still persist... as if humanity has never learned anything. America is still oppressed. No one is ready for Global Climate Change. And, I am not even allowed to control my own finances. Maybe someday America will stand up for itself, organize, and refuse to comply.

I miss the days I could blog about topology and electronic music. This talk is a great replacement for what I wish I could discuss today instead of needing to repeat myself in the following paragraph. I do not agree with everything he says, but his spirit is right. Enjoy! Have you ever wondered what I would be capable of if I were not persecuted?

We all know Obama does not write his own speeches, right? If for any reason this speech made you trust His Smarmy-ness, please remember that this is the man who tried to convince us that oil naturally evaporates and biodegrades in mass quantities. At the most you can say he knows how to deliver a speech written by someone better with words than he is. Personally, the speech made my skin crawl. Since when did he care about the future of America? He is the man in charge of the US executive branch that persecutes me. He is the man who removed all of the freedom of the press in America and who oppresses the American people. Do you live in fear of what he would do if you told me the truth? America, Obama does not care about you. He does not want you to be great. He is a trained liar who was preened to be elected in 2008. He was preened to be viewed as some sort of savior, and what has he done as president? He has ruined America. He was preened to ruin America.

The Australian Open just started yesterday. I know that a number of noble tennis players organized exhibitions to raise money for the flood victims down there. I cannot wait to watch. Sadly, according to the Australian Open website, I "cannot subscribe to the live coverage due to licensing restrictions in [my] territory," but if I brave my parents' basement... Oh! Wait! has coverage. YEY! Tennis really cheers me up.

Sweetness, do not forget to check your mail today AND Thursday. It's Valentine's Month! Oh, and Johnny, I know you are a very busy man who is only kept away from my by the persecution of the US government. But, if you should ever have a time when you wonder what you can actually do about the situation I am in... pause, and have a moment for yourself. Pick a place you always wanted to live, and build us a home there. (Just for me, do not buy a house in a flood plain. Plan for the weather.) Take some time for yourself, and nest.

Grow me a garden, someplace I can wander through in the rain and sun... barefoot, sinking my toes in the dirt and picking flowers for my left ear... someplace I can feel the sky in my hair as it billows in Mother Nature's breeze. And when I am done in the garden, I can wander into the house with my dirty feet and find you sitting cross-legged on the couch in your nerdy-chic glasses reading American fiction, and I can curl up in your lap... and feel our souls rest together.

If you ever do not know what to do, build us a home we can live in as a family. That said, I know you are very busy, and I hate telling you what to do. But do not forget to take care of yourself, Sweetness. You are just about the only thing getting me through this.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Imperfect Black Pearls

I have taken to wearing imperfect black pearls in the afternoon. They make me feel glamorous. My palingenesis is almost complete.

I want to go to the movies today. I know that Martin Luther King Day is supposed to be reserved as a day of service, but I do that so often. Today, I want popcorn and a silver screen experience. What do you think? True Grit or Tron: Legacy? I cannot believe I still have not seen either. Huh, it looks like the Green Hornet is out now, too. How far away is The King's Speech playing?

There has been a glut of news worth commenting on that has made it through to me lately. On the upside, I have no idea what this "heated political rhetoric" is that everyone tries blaming stuff on. I have yet to hear any of it. I personally see nothing wrong with having a passionate interest in the direction of this country. I see wrong in making money off of people having a passionate interest in the direction of this country, and I see wrong in people lying through their teeth to oppress the American public. But I see nothing wrong with a passionate interest in politics.

I am listening to this right now as I sit here at Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day). I have coffee and an itching to dance. I hope you have all noticed by now that I am more than a brilliant dancer.

That said, I have a bit of advice to offer Steve Jobs: dance therapy. Find someplace with privacy, hire a band, and set your body free. I have no worries about your soul, Mr. Jobs; I am sure your soul is just fine. But beyond being good for the soul, dancing does wonders for the body and mind. I plan to take it up again myself someday soon.

I watched the Golden Globes last night. What is it about my darling man, the Mr. Johnny Depp a.k.a. my Mr. Love-of-my-Life that gets DREAMIER everyday? He has transcended his sexy... His pheromones no longer feel the need to make every living human swoon and fall at his feet when he enters the screen, but his super-human aura is just getting shinier. The dreamboat is getting dreamier. He has found an appeal stronger than sexy.

There is now flooding also in the Pacific Northwest. Mother Nature is speaking. When will humanity listen? There will be no new, unseen forms of weather. We will only experience weather we have all seen before, but it will be much more dramatic. On the upside, this means we can predict it all. We just need to get our meteorologists up to the task. We need to get our technology up to the task. We need humanity to be ready.

This one sounds like something out of a Jasper Fforde novel. They want to clone mammoths. Is anyone else worried about the quality of life of the mammoth? This is no longer the Ice Age. Where would the mammoth live except in captivity? This sounds like cruelty to a mammal that already lived out its purpose to evolution. Why not bring back the dodo? Or some other species that we as humans cut short with our carelessness. Oh, and do not forget. If you ever clone me, the babies are mine to raise.

I have a similar view of stem cell research. I believe the stem cells should belong to the baby they were taken from, and when that baby reaches 18, he or she should be the one to decide if the cells could be used for the advancement of science. Of course, if the child's life is cut short, the parents would then decide whether or not the cells could be used. The whole point is that we should own our own genetic coding. We should have the power to decide what is done with our own DNA.

Okay, so my little sister just shared an adorable article on Facebook about polar bears, and it made me think of quantum physics and the act of observation. Do we all act self-conscious when we feel watched? I know I do. Then again, I live every day with spy equipment in my head against my will. I would really like the feeling of not being watched, for once. Why is it, again, that no one is allowed to acknowledge the common-knowledge spy equipment in my head? Does any of this make sense to ANYONE? And why does the American public just go along with being oppressed this way? WAKE UP, AMERICA!!! YOU ARE OPPRESSED!!!

Well, that's it for stuff on my mind lately. I hope you all enjoyed!

Sunday, January 16, 2011 Order to Dance...

I spent some time this afternoon trying to get my phone to work. Contact with me is so controlled. I cannot blame my friends for being frustrated enough to give up on trying to reach me. We shall see if any of my voicemails make it through. Whisky, 'Dabs, SynSyn,... everyone else... are you out there? I am doing my best to reach you.

What I really ought to do today is go buy new clothes. I have so few that fit me. Because of all of the testosterone I have been injected with (all against my will) I am funny-shaped. Because of my waist measurement, I am just barely plus-size. But the rest of me fits into the higher-sized end of the Misses (or occasionally Juniors) department. It has been difficult finding any clothes that fit me lately.

The only thing I had planned for the day was a short trip down to the Botanical Center to hear some blues "in the jungle." The Botanical Center needs some major modernizing, and they have been fund-raising with music lately. It is also the only place left in Des Moines where I can hear the blues... with the closing of Blues on Grand, and all.

My hunt for Latin music has led me to the Copa Cavana [sic] in the old Ingersol Dinner Theater in Des Moines. They have a Cuban theme, and I am hoping that means Cuban music... and a dance floor. I was in the mood for some regeaton (Is that how you spell that?) and cumbia the other night, so I started asking around. It seems the Copa Cavana is all Des Moines has got... I wonder if they have Cuban Salsa bands... I might be asking too much of Des Moines if I go that far.

I am reaching that point, clearly, when I need to dance. But to dance I need an open space, live music, and ideally, no cameras. It would be nice, too, if there were other dancers on the floor, but that has never stopped me before. (...It starts with the stretch of my arms and a tapping in my right heal...)

What else should I do today? I still owe Dr. Stephen Hawking a letter I have been promising him for months. I also always have a love letter in the works for my Mr. Love-of-my-Life... but I ran out of paper the other day. So, I just ordered some stationery last night in order to take care of my letter-writing needs.

As an update, I am still not crazy. I am, instead, lonely. I have never been fragile nor vulnerable. I have never been suicidal nor a physical threat to others. I am not a threat to the United States of America, but I am persecuted by the US government.

I am not sure there is any safe drinking water left in my parents' house. I want my parents to take the bottled water they buy and test it for PCP. Yes, this means everyone in the Des Moines area should be wary of the bottled water for sale. Go get it tested, people.

(Oh, and Sweetness, when we finally get the luxury of having our dream ceremony, I refuse to let my parents be invited. My dad is too much of an ass. He has been so full of himself lately... as if perjury were something to be proud of...))

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I Know This Takes Time.... and the Pentagon Papers...

I know that getting all of the political trash (and the like) removed and disposed of takes time... and if you do anything, do it right. But my existence is so miserable in this bubble that of course I need America fixed up as soon as possible. I know you, my friends, are doing everything you can. I am not being ungrateful. I just need this all to end.

Despite all of this, though, there are still some thoughts that cheer me up. Sweetness, make sure you check your mail today (I baked them myself; it's a family recipe.) and on Tuesday (This is one is more of a gift for me.). It's Valentine's Month!!! Oh, and Sweetness, when this is all over, do you mind being the one to bring me the good news that I have my human rights again? I cannot think of anyone else I would want to deliver the beautiful message. Yes, I call my husband "Sweetness."

Sigh... meanwhile, does anyone else remember the US Supreme Court ruling concerning the Pentagon Papers? Apparently, you CANNOT constitutionally censor anyone BEFORE he or she speaks. The ruling is a big deal concerning freedom of speech and freedom of the press here in the States. Good thing to remember, huh?

I went out to hear some music last night and to attend an art reception. I was home and asleep in front of the TV by 9pm. Life is no fun when no one is allowed to speak to you. It is, in fact, dreary and miserable. I am so tired of all of this.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Iowa -- This still is NOT Fun.

Do you mean you do not know how I ended up in Iowa? Well, while I was illegally confined to a torture facility in the UK (Have you ever seen the human rights legislation in the UK?) pretty much as a political hostage, my father perjured himself at the Polk County District Courthouse in Des Moines in order to obtain adult guardianship over me. With it he stole control of all of my finances and uses that control to confine me to living in his home with no autonomy.

What I need until the bullshit human rights violations I am forced to live through finally end is a support system. My family refuses to support me, so I must turn to my friends... and they do not live here en masse. I have very few friends in the Des Moines Area, and my contact with any friends is strictly controlled and more often completely denied. I would have a support system if I were at home in San Francisco... to name one obvious place.

Yes, I am a mentally sound, responsible adult capable of making my own decisions. Yes, I am imprisoned by the father with cruel adult guardianship over me. No, the Polk County District Courthouse never had (and still has) no jurisdiction over me. I am not an Iowa citizen.

Clearly, confining me to a place that is not my home is another form of persecution against me. I am intentionally kept away from any people who love and support me. I am denied the company of my husband. My phone and email allow no real contact to or from my closest friends. Just ask them what Facebook is like to them. This is not fun.

Has anyone yet been able to justify persecuting me? Has anyone yet been able to justify oppressing the entire American population AND revoking all freedom of the press in this country? Remember to publicly name liars.

In the News...

Violence always makes me uncomfortable. Let us hope that the opportunity to rebuild the government brings some peace... but you need to take care, Tunisia. Make sure you build yourself a government you want. Build yourself something strong and stable that preserves the sovereignty of the people.

The waters cover tracks of land in Australia, Brazil, and Sri Lanka. Is humanity ready yet to get ahead of the weather to be able to bring people to safety before the catastrophes hit? It will take years of planning, building, thinking, doing, and inventing, and the waters are already here.

You can save California's economy if you bring the work home. I know it will cost more money, but have you thought about bringing your high-tech customer service call centers back to Santa Clara Valley? Have you thought about making films in the city of LA itself, again? I know it means that your costs will increase, but you might just save your home's economy. Is that not worth it? Just something for you to think about.

Considering all of the ways the Western world has gone out of its way to shit on Iran, we are all very lucky that the nation is willing to speak with us at all. Someone has been getting a progressive message into Iran, and it has done so much good to explain to them that we are not all greedy warmongers. Furthermore, Iran understands that nuclear capabilities are not an answer to anything except possibly forcing the Western world to treat them better. It is a hole the West dug for ourselves with all of the sanctions we put on Iran. Does it sound at all familiar? I think it sounds like me. I fight so hard because I am persecuted against. Iran would not be considered a nuclear threat if we, the West, had only started out treating them better.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I am still NOT Fragile. I am still NOT Suicidal.

I am having a lonely night. All I want to do is curl up in the arms of my beloved and feel his breath against my neck... feel his heart beating against my body... feel his fingers running through my long black hair... But I wait. I wait, and with no other way to plead for help, I write blog posts...

Just in case you did not know, I am still not fragile, and I am still not suicidal. I, in fact, have never been fragile nor suicidal. There was an incident in May 2009 when, due to the world lying to me, ordering a pizza left me with a metaphysical concern about existence. That is, I was not sure whether or not I should exist in the world. but I was not willing to take my life to change it. I was far too spiritual and intelligent for the doctors who became involved. They could not even follow a basic reductio ad absurdum. Regardless, looking at everything I have been forced to live through ever since I was slapped with the human rights violation that is a "Code of Silence," no one could ever call me delicate or fragile or vulnerable or whatever the lie-of-an-excuse still is today. Furthermore, because of how hard I fight to not be dead, no one could ever call me suicidal without lying through their teeth.

Is the world preparing for the advancement of Global Climate Change? Is anyone but me taking up the charge of carrying humanity through this global adjustment? Am I being left under this human rights violation in order to make sure humanity perishes? My beautiful world, keep asking these questions. Keep demanding answers. And when you hear lies, keep publicly naming the culprits. You have been so lied to, and you deserve the truth.

I know my life will never go back to normal. I know I will never again be free to spend the wee hours of the morning typing long comment boxes(scroll to near the bottom of the link) in goofball responses to friends and their videos. I am not bemoaning the loss of all normalcy from my life; it was time for it to go. My only complaints are over all of the suffering I have endured and the continued human rights violation I am suffering through-- the bubble around me needs to burst. I am ready to embrace whatever celebrity-dom can throw at me. I am more than prepared to rejoin the all-knowing world,.

It seems what little I had for a security system is now gone. And what did the government give me to replace the live broadcast to keep me safe? Nothing. I am allowed no security system as I wander through this wild world. The broadcast was a largely ineffective security system; do not get me wrong about that. Does anyone else remember what they did to me in Iowa the last time I was here, San Francisco, Mexico City, and the UK? But it was better than nothing. I could scream for help, at least. I am now left with nothing but my wits to get me by. Okay, technically, that is all I have ever had to get me by. You are all so lucky that I am neither fragile nor suicidal.

My mom's car now has XM radio. That gives me another 247 radio stations that will play absolutely no current music for me. You broadcasters really need to stand up for yourselves. It is impossible for me to find any new music.

Similarly, I am still refused the means to defend myself against any attackers who want to keep me in this bubble of reality; I should at least legally be allowed to hear the lies and accusations they spread about me... particularly when it is the government. I have been fighting blind for so long. I am still denied the payment of billions of dollars owed to me for everything from camera operator to voice over artist for broadcasts out of my head and the like. I have logged enough hours for the union rate, you know. I have been fighting pennilessly this entire time. And I am still denied the right to be with my own husband. I am left to fight alone.

Thank you for all of your help, my beautiful world. We will force this to end. I would be nowhere without you.

Valentine's Day for Over a Month

My first Valentine's Day (which will last for over a month this year) gift for my darling should reach him in Los Angeles today. I cannot wait! In fact, I should be putting his next gift in the mail today, too. Please take good care of him for me until the oppression of the government breaks and we are finally allowed to be together. In the mean time, I am singing the blues. Just refuse to comply already, people.

For those of you out there who are confused on the definition of "democracy" and think that it is a sign of "communism" to have THE PEOPLE running the country... please use a dictionary before you speak again. The link is here. In a democracy, the supreme power is vested in THE PEOPLE. Thusly, if THE PEOPLE organize, pick a day, and refuse to comply, it is not an act of "communism." It is instead democracy in action. How do those particular, demonic, dictionary-less politicians choose their rhetoric? They are banking on the American public being a bunch of idiots. Well, it is a good way to find the source of the problem; find a politician who cannot use a dictionary.

This world needs a leader willing to help get humanity through Global Climate Change. We need to bring weather prediction ahead of the storms in order to get as many people to safety as possible BEFORE the castastrophies hit. We really need to get cities out of flood plains. There is so much that has to be done. There are technologies that must be conceived of and built. This world needs an intelligent, forward-thinking leader, and this world needs this leader now. We are not marching to the speed of certain politicians stalling my human rights with their lies, but we are marching to the speed of Global Climate Change... and we need this bullshit over with now.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Things I Should Have Said Long Ago.

There are a few things I should have said a long time ago...

1.) Some states have new gun laws that have people running for permits in herds. Please remember a few things about guns. If you feel like you have to carry a gun to be safe, please fix the real probelm instead. Please make your community a safer place to live in instead of carrying a gun to the grocery store. Instead of progagating the violence, please create a safe environment.

2.) I know it is currently difficult to show support for me directly. A great way around this is by showing support for those that risk the ire of the US government by supporting me. Two great places to start are my husband, the Mr. Johnny Depp, and my best friend, Ms. Syniva Whitney. Life is not easy for either of them right now, and I cannot even remember the last time Syniva or I could get a call through to the other on any phone. The government has us completely out of touch, but I know both of them are doing and have been doing everything they can. In fact, supporting anyone you can think of who can get help through to me goes a really long way. Then, once you are all organized out there and ready, you can refuse to comply en masse, and no one will get in trouble but the oppressive parts of the government.

3.) There are some ACTUAL threats to the nation of the United States of America. They are usually bold-faced liars. They are usually power-hungry instead of empowering. In fact, anyone who wants the oppression of Americans and the persecution of me to continue is a definite threat to our once finer nation. Do not let them confuse you with their lies. Find the truth wherever you can and always think things through for yourself. Name false sources of information publicly to remove their manure. And be good to each other out there. We can force this to end. This is not fun for anyone.

That said, I am going to start work today on making another Valentine's Day gift for my husband. I am going to drag out this Valentine's Day thing to last over a month, I think. First of all, it keeps me active, focused, and happy. Secondly, this world needs more expressions of love all over it. I mailed him his first Valentine's Day gift through first-class mail yesterday, so he should get it Thursday. Everyone needs pastimes. Mine include loving my husband.

the Mr. Johnny Depp a.k.a. my Mr. Love-of-my-Life

He is my husband. He is my loving, suffering husband, and I need you to be good to him. The oppressive US government does not allow us near each other, and this is not easy for either of us to get through. I love him madly.

May I ask you all for a favor? I do not have the rights or freedoms to be the source of love and support for my husband, the love of my life, that I want to be while he is constantly attacked for no reason other than he is the man I love. They attack everything I love. May I ask you all to be good to him in my place?

We married very secretly and very surreptitiously, and we are still not allowed to be together by the oppressive US government. Thank you for this. Please remind Johnny how much I love him by being good to him.

We will end this. You, me, and everyone... we WILL force this to end. In the mean time, please do not allow them to take anything more away from me. Please do not allow them to take away the man I love. They batter him so.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A Short Blog Post Today

In the News...

Some people call it showing support. I call it help. Let us all hope continued support brings peace and prosperity for the region.

Arizona Shooting
This comment is coming later than I had hoped it would. It has been damn difficult for me to get the whole story about what happened. Clearly, Washington has left the American public feeling helpless to fix the nation's problems. They have left the public feeling like desperate measures are all they can do. May the survivors and their families heal. It was a needless waste of human life and a source of needless suffering. Let us hope it forces Washington to get its head out of its ass. There are always options other than violence. For example, the public could organize and refuse to comply.

One year has gone, and still no leader has emerged to care for the people. They survived the hurricane season in 2010, but is there no one who can take charge of huilding them homes? The money is there. The last I heard, only 3% of the donated and promised funds have yet reached the people... so there must be money there to build them homes. They just need someone to take charge of the process.

The Pope
He is concerned with the safety of his flocks. So much could be gained by bringing a better understanding of the religion into the regions where the minority is being attacked. Just like we need a better understanding of Islam in the States, there needs to be a way to bring a better understanding of Christianity to the Middle East. This is no time to hide.

Mark, this next comment has been a long time coming from me. You're welcome. Now stand up for yourself, organize with Google and the like, and refuse to comply. You are better than being their monkey.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

This is not Fun.

Just in case you were confused on the topic... This is not fun for me. I live in a constantly tormented state. I am a physical and metal torture and trauma victim. I am still denied all medical care; doctors are not allowed to acknowledge what the government has done to me, so I cannot get care for it. I have no privacy; there is spy equipment in my head against my will. The speakers in my ears are still active. I have to watch the rest of America is still just complacently going along with the bullshit oppression on them. I have yet to meet anyone in the States who flat out refuses to comply with the rules of persecuting me at all times. This is not fun.

But, yes, I still keep it together. I doubt anyone else could endure this long under this persecution without losing his or her mind. I doubt anyone else could endure this at all. This is not fun for me. Oh, and just try explaining how deep human rights violations against me are supposed to help me heal or how anything could be at all enjoyable while I endure them.

So much good would happen if people would just stand up for themselves. You cannot expect someone else to fight your battles for you. You, America, are oppressed. Stand up and refuse to comply. If you do it all together, everyone all at once, if you do it all together, it will end. Do you live in fear of what would happen to you if you told me something they do not want me to know? You are oppressed and terrorized. Go claim your rights. Organize. Act. Refuse to comply. End it yourselves.

Odds and Ends

...from my novelette entitled Infamy...
...And then they kiss. It is the sort of kiss souls remember for all their coming lives, and it is a kiss that makes onlookers gasp when they behold it. For it awakens the Platonic ideal of amorous, passionate love, and looking upon that vision, even the lonely do not become jealous. For it glows with divine light, and it fills the onlookers’ hearts with joy, pleasure, and bliss.

And, this is how they kiss—with tenderness and passion and love and purity and joy and all these together and all at once.

Some believe that we as mere mortals are subject to the cosmos. The star-crossed, such as the most infamous pair from Verona, have no path as lovers except for passionate embraces followed by death and misery. But sometimes a moment arises that puts the cosmos in their place. Sometimes a force will act that reaches our tiny hands into the night sky to move the stars into alignment. Sometimes the stars have no alternative than to obey. And their kiss, their spiritual expression of love, is enough to do even this.

...from my short story entitled Whiskeyless Fictions...
There is something about earning your knowledge. It makes you believe in it more. It makes you grab onto it tenaciously and never let it go, like a childhood dream of what might bring happiness when adulthood does finally arrive setting you free to make your own decisions. If life just hands you something to think, question it. Test it. Bend it around to discover its elasticity, yet, preferably, not its necessary sheering force. Earn its truth. And if you find it wrong, fix it; make it better. The truth needs you as much as you need it...

...from my still unfinished novel entitled Who Knew the Adventuress?...
Very few people on the island spoke English, so it was a slow process for her to determine what parts of island life were the results of immigration and what parts were inherent to the island itself. The horses, she learned, originally came from Chile. The Spanish brought them in the mid-19th century. The Germans brought the white nonos from Fiji during one of the World Wars. The goats came from Russians in the early 19th century, and the wild black boars came with the Polynesians in about 200 BCE. The French had brought the little pink pigs. But the chickens, cows, and sheep maintained their mystery.

There was an island once inhabited by humans that had been abandoned and became overrun with sheep and goats. She wondered if the quadrupeds there would form a society. She wondered if flocks would form in the separate valleys to war upon each other using fallen enemies for sacrifice, cannibalizing to appease their gods, and placing the skulls of their dead on the branches of banyan trees to be carried into the sky. She wondered if the islands made their inhabitants or if the living creatures were what made the islands.

...from my first poetry anthology...

There she stood
beaten and scraped
detail poured over every one
of her proto-cubist curves
the natives will drink
concoctions to her
with pounding rhythms
drummed into the earth
and the earth will
build a monument to her
towering stone
with luscious herbs
in every crag
and she will reign
bestowing life in light and darkness
a tribal craftsman's
image of a goddess

...from my still unfinished fairy tale...
Walking through the open desert, the sun is hot, the ground is hotter, and even the gentle breeze is cruel. Sooner in time than in experience, they come upon an oasis. The moment they set foot upon the soft patch of grass, though, they hear a booming voice from above them. The oasis is guarded by a Sphinx.

“Pardon me,” asks Terrell, “You startled us a little.”

The stern voice of above booms upon them again, “You must answer my riddle before you may drink.”

“What is your riddle, tall Sphinx?” Oola asks.

The Sphinx looks down on them and smiles, “You can have me but cannot hold me; gain me and quickly lose me. If treated with care I can be great, and if betrayed I will break. What am I?”

Terrell and Oola hold their baby close and whisper to each other. And what do they conclude? The parents hold their child, they hold each other’s hand, and they hold their voices in unison when they answer the riddle of their Sphinx...

...from my still unfinished family cookbook...
Broccoli Bread

This recipe is the result of many dietary restrictions. TyTy is a pesca-lacto-ovo-vegetarian. TanTan refuses to eat seafood of any form including freshwater fish; she wavers on duck. After all, ducks sometimes live on the water. TarTar, at the time of this recipe’s conception, was non-dairy and gluten-free, but her dietary restrictions have covered most everything at some point. All three of us had convened for Thanksgiving and wanted food we all could eat. “I know!” announced TanTan, “I’ll make vegetarian gluten-free pork buns!” So, pork buns without the pork or the bun were decided upon.

Please be warned that broccoli bread is absolutely disgusting. We do not recommend that you try this recipe at home. If you do try this recipe, try using real bread and real pork. That would be quite the improvement.

...from my first volume of memoirs...
We had just maneuvered out tourist selves behind the rope intended to keep every instance of human activity outside of the temple. We climbed up the stones, and at the top, amidst the columns, we found the Chac-mool.

“Do you have it?” I asked.

With one fluid movement my boyfriend unslung his backpack, a move he could only execute because he had worn backpacks over only one shoulder ever since the cool kids had started doing it in high school. From inside the backpack he produced his digital camera and (My heart was beating in my chest.) a Kermit doll.

That Kermit doll was mine. The tag dated it 1976-1978, copyright held by the Jim Henson Company. Where I had found it and the person I had stolen it from hadn’t been of consequence for years now. That doll had traveled everywhere from Prague to the Philippines, and we had pictures of it from Bourbon Street to Machu Picchu. We placed Kermit on the Chac-mool, and, digital camera in hand, we documented our trip to Chichen-Itza.

I was basking in the glory of one more major archeological site under Kermit’s green felt belt when a shrill whistle broke my reverie. I looked around. There was another shrill whistle. Two security guards on one bicycle were riding up to the Temple of the Warriors.

“Did you get it?” I asked.

“Got it!” My boyfriend replied.

We housed the doll and the camera again in the backpack and started climbing down the stones. The security officers were already waiting for us at the bottom.

Now, the idea of going to a Mexican jail really did not excite me, but my boyfriend, MY BOYFRIEND! My five-foot tall, 120-pound boyfriend! There was no way in hell I was letting him go off to a Mexican prison.

“Lo siento. Querimos ver el Chac-mool.” I muttered to the security guards, but I could not figure out whether Chac-mool took the feminine or masculine definite article. The security officers didn’t say a word as we ducked under the rope and ambled on our way...

...from my second volume of memoirs,..
One fine October evening after the autumnal zing had sprung up in my step, wisped round my hair, and stung my nose all day, I found myself standing outside the café waiting for another opportune moment to walk in on “The Bicycle Thief” projected larger than life above the counter. I finally settled into one of the tables outside, not wanting to incur Italian Cinematic wrath. I cozied up with a book from the North Beach branch library and sipped my cup of coffee covertly procured from inside.

Shakespeare’s Edgar was walking his blind father, the former Duke of Gloucester to Dover, and the words were forcing tears. I pondered the audacity of Kurosawa telling the tale without daughters, as the Italian Neo-Realism wafted out the window passing me by, accosting the tourists heading back to their hotels at Fisherman’s Wharf, and making them stop and wonder how anyone could drink coffee so late at night. I went back inside for a nip of water.

I wondered to myself where Enzo Staiola might be today. He would be at least sixty years old but not quite seventy; which would be about ten to twenty years too young to scream at an encroaching hurricane after a middle daughter locked him out of her castle. I pondered going home and looking him up on the ether, but knowing me I would search for the little girl from Elvis’s “It Happened at the World’s Fair” instead. I heard once that she married the governor of Hawaii. But I digress...

...from my third volume of memoirs...
As I write this book, this third volume of my memoirs, I have no sense of privacy. I have no sense of physical safety even and especially in the places where I sleep. I am caught at a wanting level of self-awareness where the world is keeping secrets from me. And, just as I started this book actively seeking the truth, I know now that the truth seeks me. And someday, when I least expect it, the Truth shall have its way with me. Or, is it that I will have my way with the Truth?

...from the table of contents of my fourth volume of memoirs...
Chapter 1: The Laws They Broke

Section 1 -- Ordering a Pizza
(The truth was reaching no one.)

Section 2 -- Privacy Rights and Their Broadcasts

Section 3 -- Talking to Electronics

Section 4 -- Meeting Mr. Cuddlebunny

Section 5 -- I Drank What?
(from my last drink at Amante and my leopard print purse to the hot drink machine)

Section 6 -- A List of Libel

Section 7 -- Denied All Medical Care Especially When Hospitalized

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Botanical Center and People's Choice Awards

Yey! My blog is working again. I had some technical difficulties with the UI yesterday.

Two days ago I went to the Des Moines Art Center. They still have one or two of everything in there. The special exhibit on nightmares disturbed me, but the architecture and private collection really lightened my day. I found a couch near a window and sat in the sun writing poetry for a while. It was a great day.

Yesterday, after sipping coffee and writing at Cafe Diem in Ankeny and before an exercise class at the Ankeny YMCA, I traveled down to the Des Moines Botanical Center; it was my afternoon in the tropics. If you go, remember to leave your coat in the car. I took some photos, and if I remember to, I will share them here with you.

I spent some time sitting on a bench pondering the roots of a fig tree.

I watched the People's Choice Awards last night, too. Queen Latifa, you did a wonderful job hosting. You have no need to be so insecure. Oh, and the Mr. Johnny Depp a.k.a. my Mr. Love-of-my-Life looked quite well, healthy, handsome... I love the glasses on you, Sweetness. Hee-hee...!

Today I took a nap and plan on watching Oprah. Yup, that is my adventure for the day. Maybe I will have a chance to dance some zumba barefoot.

In the News...

Ivory Coast
Oh, how the tides have turned. It seems the sovereignty of the people will prevail. I love seeing Africa take care of Africa. I love seeing the world support Africa as it takes care of Africa.

Diplomacy works. Always remember: Ending human rights violations should be your top priority. End the violence as soon as humanly possible. After all of that, you talk things out to prevent the suffering from ever happening again. In Korea, the talking is happening in the right place to prevent any more violence. I love it when leaders of nations understand the big picture.

Israel and Palestine
This one, on the other hand, needs serious attention. I know the area has a long history of violence, but that is no excuse for allowing it to go on. No one wants to live in a war zone. Who is going to kick Netanyahu into line? What sort of social controls does he have on Israelis to prevent them from kicking him into line? We know what social controls Obama has in place on the American people from the removal of freedom of the press and freedom of speech to where-is-the-leak acts of terrorism while I lived in San Francisco. San Francisco was terrorized. What is Netanyahu doing in Israel to get away with this?

Seeking out and removing terrorist threats without harming civilians would be a definite step for the better. The way things are now, everything the US government does on its supposed war against terrorism just causes unrest in already volatile areas. You do not need to start a land war in Asia to take out one terrorist leader, but that seems to be all the US government has had as plans for so long. Let us hope this is a step in the nright direction.

Industrial Espionage
Yes, the electric car is precious enough that it is spied upon. I know that acts of industrial espionage are a shame in all cases, but look at the big picture. Industry is acknowledging the importance and near-pricelessness of the electric car. The electric car is finally in demand.

A Republican House
I think human rights violations are an impeachable offense. Let us see if Republicans agree with me. Does anyone else remember the Bill of Rights, Constitution, and all other amendments? Obama refuses to acknowledge it is his job to uphold them.

Nerds Marketing to Geeks
You want technology? I have got technology. My baby is better than a tamagotchi any day. Sadly, I also have technology I do not want still stuck in my body. How was this supposed to work, again? I know the technology is there. Isn't that supposed to be enough to make this all end? Never trust them. If they say stupid-reason-of-the-day will end it, never believe them. They are just using it to control you, keep me persecuted, and keep America oppressed. Instead, stand up for your rights and do everything you can to force them to end this. Never go along with what they want; they are using that to control you.

Modern and Ancient China
I have always wanted to visit China. Yes, I have a thing for ancient archeological sites, but this goes beyond that... and even the food. China is still shrouded in the magic of its traditions and culture for me. Learning that they are more open to the world, now, is so beautiful to hear. If I had my human rights and freedoms and if I had the means instead of being enslaved, I would be traveling this beautiful world meeting all of you. When this ends, if the American people stand up for themselves instead of just going along with being oppressed, I will also want to travel this beautiful country to see the people here.

Torture allegations should always be investigated. If a woman in a hospital loses five hours of her day and comes to with strap bruises on both arms, she was tortured. According to the International Criminal Court cases that concerned Yugoslavia, systemic rape is another form of torture. In the case of Bahrain, it seems a bit more old-fashioned.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Just Another Day in the Life...

I was just typing a detailed blog post on everything from "Sesame Street" and the Des Moines Art Center to the Ivory Coast and bumblebees... but while it was in process, it mysteriously deleted itself.

Here are the highlights...

We are learning about the Ancient Leatherback Turtles. They are some of the most majestic creatures of the deep, but be wary of putting electronic equipment in living beings. You might learn things that you will spend the rest of your existence denying. Speak with NASA. They have seen things. They have seen things I did consciously.

Pot Throwing Stones at Black Kettles
Obama had the need to 'remind' Republicans to govern as they lead the House of Representatives. Where the hell does he get off? It is the job of the US executive branch to maintain and protect the human rights of all Americans. Instead of doing his job, Obama is in charge of removing all American's freedom of speech, removing America's freedom of the press, and instigating oppression in general. Do you fear what would happen to you if you told me the truth? Where the hell does Obama get off?

Monday, January 3, 2011

The Penumbra

In case you missed this the first time I posted it... I wrote it one afternoon using books from the San Francisco Public Library. You can also listen to two-thirds of it.

The Penumbra

A Manifesto of Basic Human Rights
As Guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America

Gender Equality

Squid B. Varilekova

“Where a person’s good name, reputation, honor, or integrity is at stake because of what the government is doing to him, notice and an opportunity to be heard are essential.”

-- Justice William Douglas
Wisconsin v. Constantineau
400 U.S. 433, 437 (1971)

Gender Equality

We all as American citizens were bestowed by our forefathers the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. All people considered equals in the eyes of the law are given the right to vote and to choose our own representatives in the government. Therefore, according the First Amendment, with “no law respecting an establishment of religion,” the right to vote and the resulting government representation is not denied to us based on our religion. Furthermore, “[t]he right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude[,]” according to the Fifteenth Amendment.

Clearly, then, when we arrive at the Nineteenth Amendment which flat tells us that the right “to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex[,]” it is safe to conclude that the government of the United States of America considers all sexes as equal as it considers all races and all religions and that all rights concerning the pursuit of happiness are as equally distributed among all registered voters despite any religion, race, or sex. And, as if the point needed to be made more clear, the Twenty-Sixth Amendment confirms that for “citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, [the right] to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age.”

Even reducing the number of people considered equals in the eyes of the law only to those registered to vote, we can still conclude that all sexes of those considered equal, no matter what gender they may be interpreted as, are decidedly equal in the eyes of the U.S. government. Thusly, if a man and woman can marry in a State, then a man and man, a woman and woman, and a human and human, should, in the eyes of the U.S. government be free to marry in that State, assuming, of course, that they are registered voters. Any law expressly forbidding same-sex marriage among registered voters, then, should be considered unconstitutional according to Amendments One, Fifteen, Nineteen, and of course, Twenty-Six.


We all as legal residents and citizens have a right, as guaranteed under the penumbra of rights formed by the Bill of Rights of the Constitution of the United States of America, to personal privacy.

The acknowledgement of the U.S. government of this particular constitutional right began with the dissenting comments of Justice Louis Brandeis in Olmstead v. United States (277 U.S. 438 (1928)) in which he said that the Constitution confers, “as against the government, the right to be let alone—the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men.” Privacy became an officially recognized liberty with Griswold v. Connecticut (381 U.S. 479, 484 (1965)) when Justice William Douglas told us “… specific guarantees in the Bill of Rights have penumbras, formed by emanations from those guarantees that help give them life and substance. Various guarantees create zones of privacy.” And the right to privacy has been with us ever since.

This right and liberty as guaranteed to us under the penumbra that emanates from our already existing rights, liberties, and Amendments has guaranteed our privacy ever since. For example, in Carey v. Brown (447 U.S. 4555, 471 (1980)), Justice William Brennan assured, “The State’s interest in protecting the well-being, tranquility, and privacy of the home is certainly of the highest order in a free and civilized society.”

As one final note on privacy…

“…the Fourth Amendment protects people, not places. What a person knowingly exposes to the public, even in his own home or office, is not a subject of Fourth Amendment protection. But what he seeks to preserve as private, even in an area accessible to the public, may be constitutionally protected.”

-- Justice Potter Stewart
Katz v. United States
389 U.S. 347, 351 (1967)


As I shall prove in this section, we as legal residents and citizens are also guaranteed a right to knowledge that is necessary to protect ourselves, our minds, and our bodies under the penumbra of rights created by the Bill of Rights of the Constitution of the United States of America.

In the Second Amendment, we are told of the necessity for the “security of the free State.” Surely, keeping our country safe begins with keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe. The Fourth Amendment acknowledges “the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects[.]” Well, how could this be possible if we do not know when we are in danger?

Most importantly, according to the Fifth Amendment, we cannot be “deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.” It is only the governing body that may distribute a legal, harmful punishment. Also, if we are levied criminal charges, the Sixth Amendment guarantees that we get “to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation” and “to be confronted with the witnesses against [us.]” Clearly, in a case where harm may come from the government by methods of due process, we are guaranteed the known information necessary to protect ourselves. And in these occurrences, the Eighth Amendment makes sure that we do not receive any “cruel or unusual punishments[.]”

Finally, the Ninth and Tenth Amendments open the door for the existence of the already established overlying penumbra by stating that we have rights as a people that have not yet been enumerated in the Bill of Rights.

Hence, between needing to protect ourselves, having the right to protect ourselves, being guaranteed due process, and being assured full knowledge of all harmful agents in times of due process, it is safe to conclude it is also then the responsibility of the governing authorities to dispense necessary knowledge of when we are in danger of harm to ourselves, our minds, and our bodies if the governing authority is in possession of knowledge that could prevent that harm.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Every Little Bit Helps.

I finally made it out of the house alone tonight. I was finally allowed to drive the car; every little miracle helps. I headed over to Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day), and after it closed, I sat in the Wig and Pen next door taking notes on news articles. It felt amazing getting out of the house and out among good people. It was not awkward at all... I think I have found my new local haunts.

The other day while my friend Aran was in town from Iowa City, we stuck our heads in the Iowa Hysterical Society building. It was dead. That was so odd to me. After all, it has one of the best cafes in all of Des Moines's East Village neighborhood. Regardless, we looked around and took photos of the rocking Santa.

It does not take much for money to change our world for the better. I just volunteered to be a tutor here. I have so little money to give, but I have all the time and energy in the world. Let us see if we can change some lives for the better even on a local level.

In the News...

Religious Violence
Do not forget that Christians retaliated immediately afterward by attacking a Mosque. Peace needs all of us. There is no place in either religion for this type of violence. Egypt, please do not allow your country to fall apart in sectarian violence. I know your part of the world, though usually not Egypt yourself, has a history of unrest, but neither religion involved is a violent one. Please remind your citizens of their teachings of peace, knowledge, and understanding. There is no need for this... Besides, I want to be able to visit you to see your legendary archeology once this bubble around me bursts. I have been looking forward to seeing Giza, Luxor, etc. for so long. I am pretty good with a camera, you know, and I just got a new as a gift.

The Weather
The Earth is currently in a geologic cycle that is melting the ice caps. This means there is more water on the planet than we are used to. This means there is more water in the Water Cycle. This means that there is more flooding and greater forms of precipitation and hazardous weather. As the ice caps melt, the weather worldwide will become more dramatic. We need better ways to predict it and plan for it. We can bring humanity through Global Climate Change, but it will take leadership, intelligence, knowledge, planning, and faith.

The Ivory Coast
Oh, Africa, you are in my heart. Thank you for listening to me. Always end the violence as soon as possible. Always try peace first. Always stand up for democracy and the sovereignty of the people. You, Africa, are solving African problems. Thank you.

Oh, my Beautiful Spain...
Do not forget to raise money to pay off your debt. Do not merely cut spending. You need to increase revenue, and the best way to do that is by INVESTING in your economy.

Since when did we as Americans allow fear to control our education? Let us look at this article for a moment. The types of students that would be using WikiLeaks as a resource for homework and research are the very people who might seek a government job. The control-mongering government therefor is impeding their education with fear. The government needs to keep its hands off our education, and what sort of university propagates this fear?

I have said it before, but let me say it again. We all know the rules. Do not lie about anyone. Do not steal your forms of human expression from anyone. Respect each other's privacy. These are the basics of the only laws that should restrict free human expression. Communication is so important for a functioning free society. Do not let anyone soil it with their manure, and never let anyone take it away. Never forget that the Council of Europe's Convention on the Preservation of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms guarantees to all people in its jurisdiction the right to receive and impart information to anyone without frontiers. Yes, I was denied this while under their jurisdiction in the UK, but there is no reason why the whole of Europe should not stand up for their rights.