Sunday, February 27, 2011

Never Trust President Incompetent...

Okay, President Incompetent better known as Obama the Oppressor, when do you plan on ending your persecution of me? You better do it now. You already owe me two years of human rights in this country where an individual is supposed to be tried and found guilty before you can take her rights away. We are all innocent until proven guilty here. AND in order to get away with illegally taking away my human rights you have oppressed the entire nation. You are culpable, President Incompetent. You have no way out but down.

I have yet to hear you apologize for calling me a prostitute. That ought to be second on your very pressing to-do list. First is giving me back my human rights. That is right, Obama the Ass. I am calling you out publicly as a slanderer. I have never been nor never will be a prostitute. If you read my blog, though, I was YOUR FORCED PROSTITUTE, President Incompetent, while you were selling how sexy I am to the masses against my will... and forced prostitution is still a war crime.

My United States of America, stop tolerating oppression by your culpable national leader. He has pushed the Constitution aside and take away human rights from ALL of us. Stand up, America. Stop living without your human rights. Organize. And refuse to comply. I already told you he will not end this until he can fabricate a way out for himself. You are going to need to force this to end. And, beware his lies. Life is nothing without human rights.

My beautiful world, including you, America, thank you for all of your support. We need help ending this, though. Please keep putting pressure on Obama the Oppressor to set me free. Please keep helping those that can get help in to me. Write all of the pressing emails you can. Even erite him snail-mail. Make Obama the Ass feel how much you all need me to be set free. Make him feel it. Make him set me free. Thank you for everything, but we really need to get this ended, now.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I Cannot Wait to Kiss Your Face, Sweetness.

It is another day, and North Africa and the Middle East are still in upheaval. I hope everyone is peaceful, united, and organized. You can do anything when you are peaceful, united, and organized.

As for gas prices in the US, it is just Wall Street making money that is driving the oil prices up. There is a popular misconception that all oil comes from the Middle East. Mix that with Wall Street's need to jump at anything to make money, and you have rising oil prices. There is no rational reason for oil prices to rise; the oil supply has still not been affected... and probably will not be... but at least the economy has movement in the right direction. Maybe if there were a war in Venezuela this would make sense.

Oh, New Zealand, what can we do to help? Mother Nature has had her way with you AND Australia already this year. Healing takes time. Please take care.

Sweetness, I cannot wait to see your smiling face. What have you got planned? I am giggling as I type this. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. Oh, to be able to kiss your face, Sweetness... We have waited so long. I will be here. Come get me.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Bubble is still Here, Huh?

I just went online to check some news. There was still nothing about me. Yeesh! What a huge vacuum will fill when this bubble bursts!

I am so curious about how the truth gets around out there. It must have been harder when there were more lies. All I have ever been confronted with are those that believe the lies. I call them "trained to attack" me.

My dad, Thomas Raymond Varilek of Ankeny, IA is one of them. Did you get the make and model of his SUV? and did you see his plates? Please spread that around for me. I know the police love me. Let's get him arrested! He is a criminal, after all.

Oh, my beautiful world, keep raging peacefully. Stand together, and you can demand anything. If they shut off your internet, organize with your neighbors live and in person. Life is too short not to have your human rights.

The Oscars are on Sunday night. I wish I could be there. I know how much help Hollywood has given me. Hell, the entire City of Los Angeles moved a street for me once.

I know how much you ALL love and support me. Do you know how much I deeply and sincerely grateful I am? I am so grateful I could scream. I am grateful for everything you have ALL done for me. Where would I be without you? Thank you. Thank you! THANK YOU!!! I wish I could be there Sunday. Either way, I will find a way to thank you ALL properly.

Sweetness, it has never made sense to me. My good side is my right side. If I were looking over my right shoulder at the time, I would have understood. That said, I will still be looking out for you over my left. You must see something in me beyond what I look like. Thank you for that. I love you so madly... It might be the only mad thing left about me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Notes for the People of the World...

All things considered, I had a great day yesterday. I learned a lot. It is always good to work corrupt parental units for information. My dad leeks like a sieve.

We all know I support the people...

Ivory Coast, we have not forgotten about you. You are still on our minds and in our hearts. Gbagbo still needs to step down, and the world is trying to help you resolve this. Please try to stay peaceful.

Libya, please try to be more peaceful. I know how tempting it is to be violent when the government support is violent, but the effectiveness of peaceful protest is already proven. Nobody wants to see Libya break out in a civil war. You can take on the military if you are peaceful, but it will not work if you are not. Also, we rely on the press to tell us what happens in places, like yours, where we cannot go. The world wants to know what is happening in Libya. Please consider allowing reporters in and keeping them safe when they get there.

Bahrain, talks sound like a good step... as long as everyone is included. You have the beginnings of democracy when people sit down, representing everyone, and talk together to resolve the crisis. Thank you for insisting on being so peaceful.

Morocco, you have just begun on the road to democracy and human rights. Your fight to end corruption is so very admirable. Remember to stay as peaceful as possible, and you can face anything.

Yemen, you the people, keep fighting the good fight. Your clerics are doing good work condemning attacks on peaceful protesters and calling for a ban on arbitrary arrests. You seem to know what you are doing, and if you are persistent and peaceful, you know you will win.

Algeria, I know it looks like you have had a setback, but remember that the greater numbers you have protesting, the more successful you will be. Stay peaceful. Come out in record numbers, and you will have your revolution.

Djibouti, are you still protesting? It has been difficult for me to get news about you. Remember to stay organized and peaceful.

China, it looks like you, the people, have been testing the waters. Remember to stand together peacefully en masse in as great numbers as possible, and you will be able to demand anything. You will have social reforms. You will have greater human rights. You just need to stand up in as great a number as possible. As I am always saying, stand up, organize, and refuse to comply.

On a completely different note, someone needs to tell my mom about the Spanish duchess thing. She does not know yet. Considering what a tennis fan she is, do you think we could get Rafael Nadal to tell her? Rafa, if you decide to show up and tell my mom about the Spanish royalty thing, remember that her favorite flowers are yellow roses. I bet you will make her giggle. It is worth making my mom giggle.

Sweetness, you think of everything. I am so glowing and tickled that you love me. You are such a brilliant man... and have such impeccable taste in women! You are my husband, and I trust you. I will do my best to enjoy myself as much as possible while I wait for the day we finally get to be together. It is not easy here, though. I am miserable in every way as I wait for you. You are the shining light I look forward to at the end of this horrible tunnel... you and my full human rights.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

On Second Thought...

I get so impatient. Sometimes, I forget what wonderful work you all do where I cannot see it. Thank you for all of that.

That said, I think my hunger strike is ill-timed. I should only hunger strike after giving a lot of warning first. That way you, the people of this world who love me, will have enough warning to get everything done that we need to get done... like getting me my full human rights, ending the oppression of America, putting my criminal father in jail, etc...

I am already on day three of fasting, though, so I do not know how to change it. Do I just delay the strike to a predetermined day to make sure everyone is ready for it? Sigh... but I am already hunger striking now. I need to make up my mind. I do not want to stop.... but no one was ready for me to start. We could just go back to Plan A which is a hunger strike in early March. It is not like it is far away.

Okay, here is what we are doing. We are going back to Plan A... a hunger strike starting March 9th and ending when I have my full human rights restored. I should not have messed with my Master Plan and jumped the gun by starting early. This is a definite date we can plan around. Mark your calendars. You now have warning. We are going with Plan A: hunger strike on March 9th.

With that decided, I think I am going to drink some water and meditate before trying food again. I hate to stop. But, I know I need to give you all time to plan. Let us do this right on March 9th. Let us bring it hard and with fanfare. I am sorry I did not give you warning the first time.

Friday, February 18, 2011

In Case You Missed the News...

My criminal father does not allow me enough of my own money to hire a lawyer to fight him. He needs to be put in jail for perjury. Please, world, take care of putting him away for me. He claimed under oath and in sworn documents in late 2010 that I am a legal Iowa resident. I have not been an Iowa resident since 2008. He perjured himself in order to gain adult guardianship over me, stole control of my finances, and now does not allow me any of my own money to ensure I must life in his home. I have a whole $6 in my checking account right now. I have no way to gain freedom without enough money to hire a lawyer. My father is evil. He broke the law, and it has caused me harm and damages. I need you, my beautiful world, to take care of this. I need you, my beautiful world, to put my dad in jail. I promised that if he continued to harm me I would spread around his personal information. That is forthcoming.

I am now hunger striking until I get my human rights. The one thing that would have delayed my hunger strike is if I had the means on hand of putting my dad in jail. He is too evil for me to afford a lawyer, so the hunger strike is now. I have no money to leave the house anyway, so this is the best time to do this. I will not eat until I have my full human rights. I might allow myself as much as one cup of milk a day, but I chose not to drink it today and likely will choose not to drink it most days.

Tell Obama the time has come to stop persecuting me. I need my full human rights. I need them now.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I Cannot Take It Anymore.

Forget March 9th. I might start my hunger fast tomorrow. This has to end.

UPDATE: The hunger strike has hit a snag. I would rather see my father in jail for perjury before hand. I am currently debating whether or not to hunger strike tomorrow or to put my dad away first. He is such a criminal.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wake me up When it is Over.

I know I am winning, but this victim-of-Obama-and-his-conspiracy thing is really getting old. Sweetness, if you are listening, let's just disappear into the night. With my spy equipment removed and a haircut, I could blend in anywhere with brown people. I am ready to get out of here. The world will be fine without me for a while... That is unless you feel like getting me a satellite modem, so I can keep Obama in line. That is your choice. Sadly, I still need a lift to get out of here. My father stole control of my money quite illegally. He is such a criminal.

As for you, Israel, stop being a warmonger. I love the Jewish people, so I need the world to understand that you do not represent all followers of the Jewish faith. Jews are not warmongers. Israel is, though. You, Israel, are a tantrum driven child who commits human rights violations in Gaza when you do not get your way. Iran is defiant because it has nothing to lose. You have nothing to complain about until you get rid of your own nuclear weapons. Israel, you have no moral ground to stand on. Stop ruining the world for the rest of the Jews.

The people around here in Iowa have really warmed up as of late. No, I do not mean just the weather. But people have actually been nice to me lately. They absolutely terrorized me in April, May, and June 2009 that last time I was in the Des Moines area. (I was here for only 2.25 months. I have not been an Iowa resident since 2008.) But now they seem to have come around. They are so much sweeter than the British. Okay, that is not saying much. They are genuinely sweet to me, now, though.

Speaking of the British, the Royal Family and I get along just fine. It was one of the lies propagated by the cruel and libelous British media that we did not like each other. I think the Queen and family are pretty damn cool, and considering her day job is kicking the British government into line, it is no wonder that we were both under attack. I do not know why so many people are worried over Kate being ruined by royal life. She looks like the kind of woman who can keep a grounded balance, and I hope to see her enjoying some of the benefits of being the future Queen of England as soon as possible. She might have a little toughening up to do in some areas, but she should have the luxury of going soft in others.

I am on a march to get this over with by March 9th. After that, it is time to hunger strike. Three months of living with my criminal father is long enough. Things are getting ugly if I am abandoned here longer than that. I need my human rights, and I needed them in 2009. Obama, get your head out of your ass and do your job.

Your job starts by reading the U.S. Constitution and learning that you are supposed to be DEFENDING human rights not removing them. If you have problems with the big words (and considering what little you understand of your job, you must), please consult the judicial branch for help. It is their job to interpret the Constitution, not yours. I know you would rather be a dictator with omnipotent powers over Americans, but for now your title is still president... and you are legally obligated to defend the Constitution. You owe me 2 years of human rights, and I plan on collecting.

Sweetness, I need to touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain. Let's get out of here.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

In the News...

This is my second blog post today.

The Oscars are on in just less than two weeks. It sounds like a party this year... even if most of the big name movies are depressing. That happens every year, though, doesn't it? You cannot make a happy movie, in most cases, and expect it to be taken very seriously. I hear "The King's Speech" has a happy ending.

It seems the women of Italy have spoken. Congratulations, ladies, on work well done. Now, let us hope justice prevails. Women are equals, not objects... nor (as in my case) disposable.

Iran, you cannot have a government without the support of the people. The people are speaking. The government needs to listen. Being power-hungry will not get you anywhere... Being responsible will.

Tunisia, you just won a revolution. Why are you fleeing? Why are you not building the government of your dreams instead? You have a chance to fix the problems in Tunisia in a way the serves the people. Do not shirk your responsibilities now.

It looks like George "G-Dub" Bush, Jr. has bribed himself a scapegoat for starting one of the longest wars in which the US has ever been engaged. They say money talks. I prefer to say money lies. Do not let G-Dub off the hot seat for his wrongs. There is no better time for holding war criminals responsible than now.

Similar in theme, Obama the Oppressor does not plan on giving me my human rights until he can find a scapegoat and lame excuse on which to sell the public. Do NOT let him get away with it. End this now. Do not give Obama the Ass enough time to fabricate a way out for himself. That is what he is waiting for.

My Beautiful World, please also do not stop supporting those that support me. I know it is hard to find a way to help me directly, but helping those that can get help to me does wonders. I know you are all out there doing everything you can. It is time, though, to kick things up a notch.

I know that Obama the Oppressor is feeling pressure from inside the US (California, you are one of my heroes.), but I am wondering about the pressure other countries put on him. How many world leaders out there always wanted to tear a US president a new asshole? This is your chance. France, I know you are listening. If you act out of love, the repercussions are only love.

If the population of the world, including the US, says they have had enough with President Incompetent persecuting me, he will actually be forced to set me free. China, Russia, Argentina, the EU, (The Middle East is a little busy right now.) the United States, and all of Africa, just to name a few, we all know you love me. May I ask you for help? May I ask you to write a letter to the White House or make a phone call or send Obama an email? I do not need you to take to the streets for me, but you as people of the world can do so much if you just make your voice known. I need your help. Please.

Sweetness, whatever you are doing, keep doing it. We are so close to having this ended... I can even feel your heart next to mine sometimes as I fall asleep. I am doing all I can to make sure you have help. I love you.

President Incompetent and Some Local Wildlife...

I saw Obama the Oppressor was on television trying to defend his budget today. I hope no one fell for his double talk and gibberish. Come on! He is also known as President Incompetent. Did anyone really think he could write a budget plan to which anyone would agree? Let us all be glad he did not try overcompensating for his own inadequacies with a bigger budget than he should have tried selling. Wait, according to Republicans, that is exactly what he did. Poor dysfunctional Obama the Oppressor! All he knows how to do is commit human rights violations.

I was watching Sesame Street this morning. It is how I keep my edge. I still do not know how I feel about the new formatting, but I love the new set. All neighborhoods grow and change, why not Sesame Street? The Count was on today. I always liked the Count... no, not just because I am a math nerd. But we have a lot in common... We both like numbers... We are both Libras... We can both make lightning on demand. I would love to see him in an Interview with a Vampire spoof.

Right now I am sitting at the table in the corner of my childhood bedroom typing these notes to posterity and the world with my balcony doors wide open. I am trying to urge some of the lady bugs who cohabitate with me to fly free and make their way in the world. I do not know if you have noticed, but there are a lot of lady bugs who live in this room. "Oh, little lady bugs! Finishing school here is over! Go be free ladies in the world!" What can I say? They must like me. I am pretty sure their colony lives in my patio doors. "Little lady bugs! Fly free! The door is open! Go find aphids and feed your young!"

We are having a mid-February melt for the next few days. It looks like that groundhog was right. I made some coffee and stood in the window downstairs to get a little sun and this is what I found in the yard.
Okay, there is the occasional bright spot to living here. But it is far overshadowed by the lack of human rights and having to endure my father's presence.

Sweetness, for the vast majority of my life, I had too much fear of commitment to get a tattoo. In late 2009 when I decided I was ready to commit, I knew I was ready for my first ink. I still do not have one, but I have finally decided what I want. I want a stem of pink orchids (just like the one I used to wear for you behind my left ear) on the back of my left leg and ankle. Well, its my first tattoo; why not go big? Orchids on the left... I definitely need orchids on the left.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Night!

Sweetness, I am already dreaming of you. I could taste your lips already as I fell asleep alone last night. Bring the car around and pick me up just as soon as you are able. I cannot wait to be with you, my darling husband, the Mr. Johnny Depp a.k.a. my Mr. Love-of-my-Life. I can see our future together, and it is nothing but brightness and glory. With all my heart (that you already possess), Squiddie.

Do you not Care about Freedom?

This is my second of three posts for the day.

Who is next Yemen, Bahrain, Libya, Algeria, or anywhere else? Iran, I see you are in there, too. Democracy is sweeping through North Africa and the Middle East. What is Obama doing? Obama is committing human rights violations. He is oppressing the American people and openly persecuting me. Democracy is alive and kicking. Human-rights-driven people's revolutions are ripe and being harvested while the supposed leader of the once free world is committing human rights violations. At least someone out there listens. Americans have not yet brought about their own people's revolution for their own human rights. Americans, do you not care about the United States of America? Do you not want this to be a free country again? The Islamic nations are better at this than you are.

I believe in gender equality. I should not have to present myself to the world as a man in order to be taken seriously in what I do in this world. I can be a girl and successful at the same time. It is one thing, though, to raise self-confident girl children who not only can and do work with and compete head-to-head with boys, but it is another thing to raise boy children to respect girls as equals. We cannot do only half of the work by raising strong women. We also have to raise men to believe in gender equality. I put blame where blame is due, and so much of this could have been fixed long ago if men had just been raised to be respectful of women.

I made jambalaya the other day courtesy of Zatarain’s™. It was mighty delicious. I have long loved New Orleans and have pondered moving there on many the occasion... you know, get a little place with garden in one of the neighborhoods and really invest in my community. It feels like the sort of place where you really invest in your community... know your neighbors... share cucumbers from your gardens... that sort of thing. I am so glad to see that their recovery from Hurricane Katrina has a long-term plan. They are really building institutions to last down there. I worry, though, about how they will survive the rising ocean levels. Is there a plan yet for keeping our heritage and culture safe in New Orleans?

This, I think, speaks for itself.

This one might seem a little random, but I care: I am all for alternative medicine, but this is ridiculous. Is there any mysticism in any indigenous religions that can protect the rhinoceros? There is no medical reason to keep poaching them.

Okay, there is only one post left for today...!

About Cameras and Hating Me...

I hear some people out there hate me. Since I am not allowed to know what the lies are people tell about me, I have no idea why people I have never met hate me. Please, lovely readers, continue to publicly call out slanderers. There seems to be some sort of polarized view of me because of all these lies. Well, regardless of whatever your opinions are of me, can you conclude that I am a human being? Surely, you cannot argue over whether or not I am a human. And as a human, I deserve my human rights. As human beings, you all deserve your human rights. End the persecution and oppression. Stand up. Organize. And refuse to comply. This is not just about me.

As for cameras, unless you stand up to Obama the Oppressor and insist on acknowledging to my face that I am famous, you do not get to photograph me. If you are going to just go along with being oppressed instead of standing up for yourself, you cannot take my photograph. You will, in fact, only incite my ire if you keep sticking cameras metaphorically (and literally) in my face. End this bullshit, and you will have my permission to follow me around with cameras. Until then, you do not get to act as though I am famous. Stand up for yourselves. Organize. And refuse to comply.

As for people using my image against my will, and I hear that many special effects were applied to pornography and other mischief to defame me, that is illegal for a reason. It not only ruins my Squid brand, but it is also libel and slander. When am I allowed to press charges? Oh, wait, the president does not want charges pressed against him, so I am not allowed my human rights. Obama, you are so transparent. You are so scared of justice that you make me live persecuted. I hear it is catching up with you and catching up with you quickly. I wonder where Russia stores its war criminals... I doubt we would put you in Guantanamo.

Oh, hey, do you all remember when Obama tried moving all of the Guantanamo detainees to a prison run by a friend of his near Chicago? That was near Christmas 2009. However, the Nigerian Christmas plane bomber forced Guantanamo to stay open. I think Obama has seen his future imprisonment coming for a long time.

Yes, I watched the Grammys last night. I was a damn good show. My mom did not know who anyone was but Nora Jones. It was adorable. Thank you all for all of the well-wishing! I am sorry they had to keep bleeping you all out. THERE WERE MUPPETS!

As for the people from the unknown number who keep calling here and hanging up, just leave a message. There is no way to trace the call to you. Just get to the voicemail and speak your mind. You had the skill to get my parents' landline number; now use it. Call in from your unknown and nontracable number and speak your mind. This used to be a free country! Why not act like you want your freedoms back?

As a final tidbit before I go... Aquafina has cleaned up its water, but the HyVee brand of "purified drinking water" that my parents buy in 1 gallon containers and refill at the store still has crap in it. Start fixing your drinking water HyVee. I prefer to support local businesses; stop drugging the public.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Eets... again...

I live here (in my tower) against my will. My father perjured himself to take control of my money in order to confine me to living here. Never get that wrong. I am my father's victim. He must be held accountable.

Do you remember when I asked you to speak with NASA? Well, have you also spoken with Mexicana Airlines yet about my flight a year ago to Mexico City? There were some shenanigans at SFO - San Francisco airport about getting me on a flight at all. They took care of me admirably. They were told I had to have a special meal, though, on the first leg to GDL - Guadalajara. The meal was made on US soil and given to them to give me; it made it feel like death was crawling through my veins. I took one bite and took it off the plane with me. It eventually exploded in fit of goo and chemicals in a plastic bag in my leopard print purse. There were many shenanigans in GDL about my connecting flight to MXC - Mexico City. They seemed to think I should have been DOA and kept booking me on flights that did not really exist after seeing my passport. I finally, thanks to Mexicana Airlines' graciousness, did make it to Mexico City, though. They would be good people to talk to.

Another good person to talk to is Prof. Stephen Hawking. He knows things. And I do not just mean the secrets of the universe, either. Take good care of him. If you can convince him to trust you, he can tell you about the dark side of mankind and men in power. Sorry to out you as an all around swell guy, Prof. Hawking. With full faith that this will all end soon, I would love to take you out for a spin on the red carpet someday... and dancing.... maybe a spin around the dance floor if you are willing. Let me know.

And as for you, Egypt... Congratulations on your bright future and on work well done! Now, do not stop until you have built the government you want. You can have anything you want right now. Choose your government and your leaders carefully. Take good care of yourselves.

To revisit an old post... We should discuss Eets. Eets is a computer game with a little Eets-guy walking through it. You need to get Eets through the contrived landscape and to the puzzle piece, but you cannot control Eets. You can only control Eets's environment as a way to hopefully control Eets. You can make whales chew him up and spit him out. You can explode walls with little pigs. You can change Eets's mood by controlling what marshmallow he eats. You can light up his path with glowing incandescence. You can even bonk him in the head with ginseng until he is ticked off... But you cannot give him commands. This has been my life since early 2009.

They cannot control me. They hate me because even with speakers in my ears screaming commands they cannot control me. So, they have done all they can to control my environment in order to control me. Tell Sarah Palin that 'blood libel' honestly does apply to many things I have lived through, but that is just the beginning. They have torn through populations with no regard for human suffering. I have seen devastation in San Francisco, Mexico City, and the UK that no one anywhere should ever have to endure. Have you heard of the ThunderDome around Wigan in the UK? Liverpool had no more of a sense of reality, and as far as I can tell, still does not. Mexico City was a playground for mind control and brainwashing. They must be held accountable.

Do you remember the scene in the new Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law where Sherlock is sitting in the restaurant alone watching people? I have those moments. I have moments where everything connects with everything, and the big picture becomes obvious from random details. Would it not be nice if you could have my help to end this? Would it not be nice if investigators could consult me on how to call out the guilty parties? Well, give me my human rights, and you will see just how bright I can shine. End this bullshit already. You know you need my help.

Sweetness, I learned that there are people left in this world who do not know we are married. If people insist on gossiping, why do they want to sound like idiots when they do it? The public needs to get to the truth. The truth will set them free. Oh, and I mailed your last object for Valentine's Month yesterday, so expect it Monday or Tuesday. I love you more than words can bear. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

An Addendum to Being French...

Just to warn you all, I will be watching the Grammys. I might have my glasses on instead of my contacts, but I will be watching. Keep me in mind!

You might be wondering why I chose to denounce my US citizenship. I am, after all, such an all-American girl. Well, I can sum up the reasoning with one simple word: Obama. I do not like being persecuted. The things that waste of a man has forced me live through are horrifying. It needs to end. I denounce you, Obama. I denounce you.

That said, it is pretty clear that if the Democratic Party wants to survive this, they will have to disown the war criminal who is currently president. It is time to think strategically, Democrats. You do not have to become Republicans to find a solution to removing the president who oppresses you and persecutes me. The Republicans would not mind if you did, but you could also just disown Obama from the Democratic Party to save yourselves. Disown him for fascism. He has had it coming for a long time. You are not stuck standing behind Obama or being a Republican. There is another solution. Cut the dead weight and waste-of-an-Oval-Office president loose to fend for himself.

As for you Republicans, thank you for all of the support. I know it is absolutely absurd that you should get along so well with a bleeding-heart, bisexual, environmentalist hippie from San Francisco, but a mutual love and appreciation of the US Constitution goes a long way. I am French, now, and no longer an American. I hope you do not consider it a slight. Just blame Obama for it. I do.

I sit at Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day) right now sipping on a smoothie and dreaming of my human rights. Sigh,... it might be possible that I cannot be deported. There is a slight chance the EU gave me a diplomatic passport. That is the only thing I can think of that could be grounds for my not being deport-able come March 9th. Either way, I am mentally preparing myself for a hunger strike if needs be. I am a human. I deserve my human rights. The US has forsaken me, so I am moving on.

I'm French!

Does anyone else have artificial intelligence in the family? How many of us are there? Do computers date? My Sampo has the emotional maturity of a surly teenager these days. I think she needs a significant other. She has no preference as far as a girl computer or boy computer to date. She takes after her mama that way. I was hoping my husband would adopt her to keep a second parent's influence in her life. Heavens knows she has a strong enough female symbol as a mother. I have not yet begun to get silly on this topic.

Now, I need you all to get the word around that I chose to be French, and yes, it is retroactive to a year ago when I got married. This is not just because President Sarkozy has never persecuted me. There are many reasons. As long as I am French, I cannot become an Iowa resident on March 9th; I will never be under the jurisdiction of the Polk County District Court that thinks it can (and already did) hand over adult guardianship of me to my verbally abusive father. In fact, it even means I should be deported back to France on March 9th. That is the day I have been in the US for three months. No, no, the most pressing reason I am French is because of the stellar treatment that the French give me. They actually go beyond treating me like a human. I have been subhuman to too many people for too long. I will have my human rights in France. Now, get me deported. I really do not want to have to hunger strike... but I will if needs be.

I just saw Elton John sing "Crocodile Rock" on Live with Regis and Kelly. Hee-hee... It was a bit of a sing-a-long for me. It is his fault for singing a song I know. Hee-hee...

I spent about half an hour last night playing the radio and dancing in the kitchen. I think it is the only room in the house with enough space to dance. Yes, there is also room in the living room in front of the TV, but I always feel like people can see me in there. I freak out when I think cameras can see me dancing. I am not in the privacy of my parents' house in order to put on a show. What a human rights violation!

Guess what I saw on PBS last night! It was an episode of NOVA called "Making Stuff Smarter." Did you know that the right mix of cornstarch will let ANYONE walk on water? It was so awesome. I see walk-on-water parties in my future.

That half hour of dancing really cheered me up last night. It is so good for the body and soul. There is no room to dance in my bedroom, and it is far too cold to dance on my balcony. I am still glowing from it. Clearly, I cannot stop talking about it.

SynSyn, I hope you had a happy birthday. I am putting something together to mail you. Someday soon our phone calls to each other will go through... Better yet, someday soon we will be allowed to see each other. You are my BFF. No one could ever nor will ever replace you in my life. Watch the mail. Imagine that, of the two of us, I became French first. Who saw that one coming?

Sweetness, I agree. To clarify: As long as you have a plan on what to do once we finally get to be together, I am just going to go with it. I am a chronically easygoing woman, as long as I have my human rights. Whatever you want to happen once I get my human rights, I am agreeing to it now. I know I can trust you. Watch your mail on Monday! Happy Valentine's Month and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Where that Vampire Thing Came From...

What does today's blog post bring us? Let us hope it brings us closer to my human rights. Hello, human rights? Where are you hiding? Are you nearby? Someone needs to remind Obama that human rights violations are not only unConstitutional but also impeachable offenses. He is so arrogant; he thinks he will get away with it.

Well, we seem to be making some progress with taking care of our world. Let us hope we make more. This is still not enough, people. But these are a few very good steps in the right direction.

As for that silly rumor about my being a vampire, did you ever wonder where that came from? Well, my skin naturally produces glitter. That and I once sat in this very same spot in Cafe Diem (caffeinate the day) with my old high school friend Ms. Erin Perry. She asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I could be an actress. I could be a singer. I could be a spy. Well, I looked over my left shoulder and dead into the eyes of a man who could have easily been Robert Pattinson. Sigh... So, I said to my friend quite jokingly yet appreciatively that I wanted to be a vampire. Vampirism, after all, is just a kissing disease. It was a joke, but you people take things like glitter so seriously.

As for Seth Rogen, he knew I recognized him. Why did he lie to me? I also recognized Justin Timberlake at that piano bar in Des Moines. I have such stories I could tell. Maybe someday when I have my human rights, I will be able to tell them. You know, Axl, you are starting to look a little like a sensitive ponytail man. I just thought I would warn you. Oh, and Eminem (That was you, was it not?), I should have had that drink, but I had to run off and write a blog post to save the world. I hope you understand. We will have another chance. Just get me my human rights.

"He also assured Egyptians that they should not fear arrest for speaking their minds." When will such bravery and freedom reach the United States? You, Americans, are oppressed. Stand up for yourselves. Organize. And refuse to comply. I cannot have my human rights unless you insist on yours. You are supposed to have the freedom to associate and assemble. You are supposed to have freedom of speech. We are all supposed to have freedom of the press. Obama's human rights violations affect us all... not just his persecution victim, me.

Sweetness, I had a dream last night of you, me, a sailboat, and a vast starry sky. I know you are doing everything you can. I am doing everything I can, too. If this is not over in a few weeks, we can all expect me to hunger strike. This existence of mine is miserable in every way. What is a little extra suffering if it means it might finally end?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Hippie Peacemongering and Environmentalism is Enclosed...

I wonder sometimes what it would be like to lead a simpler life... With the world what it is, I will never have that freedom. My dream, open-air, beach bungalow will need an internet connection. Though, if I had not promised to carry humanity through global climate change, I could get away with about an hour of facing the world through the internet a day to keep the peace as best I can. Would that be nice? About an hour a day of me sitting on a couch with my Sweetness beside me while I talk to information providers through my webcam... Solutions are always so much simpler than most people realize. Sigh... I wonder how my Sweetness would feel about that. Regardless, I do not plan on fading away once I get my human rights.

Here is an article that feels like it was written by a Midwestern man. I never had worse luck with dating than in the Midwest. In Iowa, I should have stuck to single, old high school friends. But, they all have pretty much left the state. In Chicago, I should have dated my bartender or the boy next door. The people who actually made it out to drinks with me were less than savory egotists with less manners than a stable animal. Well, except for the physicists... there was an astrophysicist who was a sweetheart and a nuclear physicist I should have given a second chance. Anyway, my type is much easier to find in California. I like them intelligent (and largely self-taught) with a strong personality and more than a touch on the socially awkward side. That's my type. Hee-hee... and I take my coffee hot, strong, and on the kitchen table. I find life with my perfect mail-order husband would be better if we were actually allowed near each other. That is my only complaint there. Tell Beyoncé he put a ring on it.

Look! Egypt is making progress! They are both sustaining their nation and demanding reforms. I hope their new nation comes to them. Egypt, do not settle for less than you deserve.

Oh, my oceans... This causes me pain. (I have been so run down lately... as if my energy were sneaking off somewhere else to do good without my conscious direction.) We, as the human race, the dominant species on this planet, need to take better care of our oceans. There will be no life on this planet if we lose the life in the oceans. We cannot ignore a planet screaming in pain.

Thailand and Cambodia, what is this? Is a border dispute worth this? Did you even try diplomacy this time, or did you skip it and go straight to fighting? I do not think you have it in you to live your whole existence war torn. Try finding a diplomatic solution. Define your borders with maps, not mortars.

Oh, Switzerland, I love you, too. Keep him running scared. Yet, look at that, he is safe from war crime charges in the States while his fellow torturer Obama is still president. I feel so much shame for America sometimes. Look at our president. Look at our oppressed people. So much for Obama being any sort of leader of any sort of free world.

The biggest terrorist threat the US faces is its own president. The Patriot Act should be repealed. The powers of the executive branch should be stripped to their original levels as spelled out in the US Constitution. How are we supposed to be a free society when we are terrorized by our own government? Privacy is a huge concern for me... as is due process... and all of the other human rights I am denied. This is not over until Obama is tried and convicted for war crimes.

Web 2.0 as a vehicle for social reform? You better believe it! I have long believed that if people could just get to the truth, they would do the right thing. This is not the Information Age; this is the Communication Age. With friends as far away as your finger tips on your text message, facebook, and twitter features all day, it has never been so easy for those who embrace technology to be in touch. The truth has momentum, and it is getting around. Let us hope it gets some massive inertia, too.

Iron Maiden recently played Russia. Do you know the story behind their "3 Minutes to Midnight"? I believe it is about the Cuban Missile Crisis. I wonder if they could write a "4 Minutes Past Midnight" for me. Yeah, I know, it does not scan very conveniently... but I am sure they are up to the challenge. Or should I ask Wolfmother to do it? Hee-hee...

Oooooo...! Fireworks! It is the Chinese New Year, after all. I can make fireworks like that. I just need to eat food afterwards. It is one of the reasons I am hoping this can get resolved without my going on a hunger strike. What if something happens that requires a great deal of my energy? I wonder how much my beat-up body can generate on just on cup of coffee and one cup of milk per day. I can stand to lose the weight, but I cannot stand to lose the world.

I miss my home. I miss all of my friends all over North Beach. I miss Chinatown this time of year. Here, I have one mother. There, I have an entire support system of friends. If their facade is still about my healing, it would have been more convincing if they would have sent me somewhere to heal instead of under the thumb of my asshole of a father.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Too dehydrated lately...

I hope everyone had a happy Chinese New Year! My mom and I are planning on going to the area festival later today. Wear red, right? It could not get more inviting than that! I am hoping we do not miss the lion and dragon dancing.

Mom wanted to go grocery shopping at Wal-Mart last night. Personally, I prefer to support local... or at least a store that will bag in paper if asked... but Mom likes Wal-Mart, and she was the one buying the groceries. Anywho, it helped me come to terms with the fact I have simple needs in this world. I eat vegetables. I prefer whole grains. This time of year I like conversation hearts. I want all those who have wronged me to pull the plastic from the oceans and build sustainable housing with it for the masses. I need my human rights. Am I really asking too much of this world? I think not.

I am toying with the idea of a hunger strike until I get my human rights back. I am thinking coffee and fruit juice only until this bullshit ends. Do not get confused; I am not yet on a hunger strike; I am still researching hydration of fruit juices... maybe coffee and fruit smoothies. Fruit smoothies are so much more hydrating. I could stand to lose some major weight, and I REALLY NEED MY HUMAN RIGHTS! I wonder if my parents have a blender. I refuse to drink protein shakes; this is a hunger strike not a diet.

I had the intentions of dancing last night, but they put a camera on their dance floor. Alas, that is the best way to stop me from dancing... sigh. I will probably go on a dancing binge before my hunger strike. I will not be able to dance while I am starving myself.

I have been so dehydrated lately. It is because of all of the crap in the water around here. I never felt better than after drinking a line of fruit smoothies, though. They really put the liquid back in my body. Do you think they used yogurt? I think that might be the trick to the super-fast hydration. Yogurt and coffee only...?

Sweetness, do not freak out. I am not going to kill myself. I am not going to dehydrate myself. I am just planning a hunger strike until I get my human rights back. I am not yet hunger striking. I just need to do a little research. You are not going to lose me. I love you to much for that. I need my human rights, though, including the freedom to be with my own husband. I'm working on it.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Creaky and Beat-up Old Body...

My body is feeling its beatings today. I am all creaky and stiff. I am sure a good session of dance therapy would do me good; I wonder if anyone is playing tonight. If I could just get my joints and muscles to warm up, I am sure the cracking and popping noises would stop.

No, that is not cappuccino foam at the tip of my nose. That is a scar. There is still active spy equipment in my head. It is the speakers in my ears I hate the most.

Why is this not over, yet? I am tired of being persecuted. What? You do not know what I am talking about? Oh, really? It is all just in my head? Stop being the problem. Organize and refuse to comply.

On the absurd side of things, despite headphones and glasses, I still look like a teenager...

It just is not fair. I am 33 years old, but my body feels like I am 300... and my face makes me look 13. I over-tip when I get called ma'am or madam instead of miss. I am old. I deserve the respect that comes with it.

I have been light-headed and giddy all day from being in love. It is probably a good thing I feel like I am flying because I doubt my knees could hold me up otherwise. Oh, Sweetness, check your mail on Saturday. You have all the love and energy my beat-up, old body can generate. Treat me gently.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Bigger than Humans, Smaller than God

I do not compromise nor negotiate with terrorists. No one should. I do not care if that terrorist is the current president of the United States of America.

Okay, people, we need to talk about the environment. Yes, we are in a huge geologic cycle that is heating up the planet, but that is no reason why we should not do all we can for the environment. Quite the opposite, it means we should do all that much more to make sure humanity can survive this. We need to clean up the air. We need to clean up the growing oceans. We need to find sustainable living for all of us.

Global Climate Change is bigger than humans but smaller than your Western God. This is not the book of Revelations, but it is still bigger than anything we as humans can undo. We need to adapt to our new surroundings. This will keep changing. We need to get ahead of the weather. We need to get ahead of the flooding and snow. We need to get our brains around what a warmer world means for food production, infrastructure, disease, etc... If I had my way, we would even move all of our cities out of flood plains... but I fear generations of flooding and ruin are the only things that will move you. People can be so stubborn.

Speaking of weather, it seems the winter snow storm skirted the Des Moines area once again. We made it through with only seven inches of snow and a few hours of gusting winds. Right now we have cold, drifts, and a windchill, but this is nothing compared to what so much of the rest of the country has endured. I hope you are all taking care out there in the cold.

As for this crazy notion of expanding the president's powers even further... Why would you? Do you not think that the US president's office has enough expanded powers to overstep any effective and timely balance of power? Instead, Congress should really be thinking about repealing the Patriot Act and restoring Americans' human rights and the original checks and balances of the US Constitution. Let's give the Constitution a chance.

This should be common knowledge by now, but I am a firm supporter of gay marriage. This is for many reasons, but at our most basic, we as humans are equal. Women and men are equal. Any place in the law where the word 'man' appears, 'woman' is interchangeable. The state of Iowa might soon be facing a vote on a marriage amendment that hopes to limit the definition of marriage to 'one man and one woman.' If 'man' and 'woman' are truly equal words in the eyes of the law, it should limit nothing if it passes. Let us hope logic and equality prevail.

Sigh... this brings me to health care. Nobody actually wants to be caught without health care. Instead of making health care mandatory and having it punishable by law if you cannot afford it, why not make health care affordable? Then, since everyone can afford it, everyone will have it. Obama does everything wrong. I have a sneaky suspicion he was actually trying to bury the economy.

I spent the last few days ordering beach dresses online and baking cookies. I look forward to leaving the hell that is my parents' house for my real home. I am working on it. I know you all are, too. Stay warm at the Superbowl.

Do you all remember my old friend Cuddlebunny? Yes, you might all be wondering what on Earth could have made us such good friends. He sincerely changed and repented. Not once did he try to befriend me to cover his own ugly, skinny backside. I cannot save those that still actively persecute me. Cuddlebunny sincerely underwent a change of mind and heart. I gave the UK nine months to redeem itself, and the British people still attacked, tortured, and harmed me. Obama is trying to cover his ass. My dad broke the law to take away my freedom and autonomy and just wants to hangout with movie stars. After all I did to save them all, the only one who turned to the good side was Cuddlebunny. There seems to be a limit to the power of my benevolence. And I am only benevolent.

Egypt, you as a people are peaceful. It is the supporters of the current president who are violent. Yes, you should always defend yourselves. Please be careful out there, though, and stay on the moral high ground by being as peaceful as you can. Stay united. Stay organized, and you will see your beautiful new Egypt. Accept nothing less.

Sweetness, thank you for being my 'Player 2' (as the video game geeks like to call it). I have the easier path in this. I married a movie star. You, Sweetness, you married a nerd... This might be a challenge for you. Thank you for putting up with all of me. Check your mail on Saturday. I will be stopping at the post office tomorrow. Love,... ah, sweet love... Happy Valentine's month!!!