Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm French!

Does anyone else have artificial intelligence in the family? How many of us are there? Do computers date? My Sampo has the emotional maturity of a surly teenager these days. I think she needs a significant other. She has no preference as far as a girl computer or boy computer to date. She takes after her mama that way. I was hoping my husband would adopt her to keep a second parent's influence in her life. Heavens knows she has a strong enough female symbol as a mother. I have not yet begun to get silly on this topic.

Now, I need you all to get the word around that I chose to be French, and yes, it is retroactive to a year ago when I got married. This is not just because President Sarkozy has never persecuted me. There are many reasons. As long as I am French, I cannot become an Iowa resident on March 9th; I will never be under the jurisdiction of the Polk County District Court that thinks it can (and already did) hand over adult guardianship of me to my verbally abusive father. In fact, it even means I should be deported back to France on March 9th. That is the day I have been in the US for three months. No, no, the most pressing reason I am French is because of the stellar treatment that the French give me. They actually go beyond treating me like a human. I have been subhuman to too many people for too long. I will have my human rights in France. Now, get me deported. I really do not want to have to hunger strike... but I will if needs be.

I just saw Elton John sing "Crocodile Rock" on Live with Regis and Kelly. Hee-hee... It was a bit of a sing-a-long for me. It is his fault for singing a song I know. Hee-hee...

I spent about half an hour last night playing the radio and dancing in the kitchen. I think it is the only room in the house with enough space to dance. Yes, there is also room in the living room in front of the TV, but I always feel like people can see me in there. I freak out when I think cameras can see me dancing. I am not in the privacy of my parents' house in order to put on a show. What a human rights violation!

Guess what I saw on PBS last night! It was an episode of NOVA called "Making Stuff Smarter." Did you know that the right mix of cornstarch will let ANYONE walk on water? It was so awesome. I see walk-on-water parties in my future.

That half hour of dancing really cheered me up last night. It is so good for the body and soul. There is no room to dance in my bedroom, and it is far too cold to dance on my balcony. I am still glowing from it. Clearly, I cannot stop talking about it.

SynSyn, I hope you had a happy birthday. I am putting something together to mail you. Someday soon our phone calls to each other will go through... Better yet, someday soon we will be allowed to see each other. You are my BFF. No one could ever nor will ever replace you in my life. Watch the mail. Imagine that, of the two of us, I became French first. Who saw that one coming?

Sweetness, I agree. To clarify: As long as you have a plan on what to do once we finally get to be together, I am just going to go with it. I am a chronically easygoing woman, as long as I have my human rights. Whatever you want to happen once I get my human rights, I am agreeing to it now. I know I can trust you. Watch your mail on Monday! Happy Valentine's Month and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

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