What Freedom of Speech Really Means, Especially in America.

Title: What Freedom of Speech Really Means, Especially in America.

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. How many times have I told the Inhuman Atrocity Regime that all sane and moral people everywhere trust my REAL choices? Stop being (expletive)holes that destroy America and the world.

[I was STILL forbidden any and all REAL news stories.]

My last blog post was finished by me at 1am on Friday, 24Jun2016. My lovelies polished it and published it for me as fast as possible. I was curled up and asleep as fast as I could.

Yes, someone had entered my room again that morning while I slept. Did anybody else notice their first dead give away we captured through SquidStream almost the moment I woke up? They also caused intentional damage to my only handbag.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime STILL committing their open acts of war against my rising America and against my one beautiful world while on my private property completely against my will with absolutely nor rights nor permission to even be on U.S. soil any longer kept lying through my bedroom door all morning that they were desperate to save themselves.

No one is dumb enough to believe lies from the Inhuman Atrocity Regime any longer. Those (expletive)holes were STILL committing their open acts of war by refusing to leave my property to be able to lie to me.

How many times do I need to order the full removal and elimination of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupation of my private residence? If my mere mortal body gets desperate to keep me alive, my mind might even kill them subconsciously to help me survive their unrelenting onslaught against my physical safety.

For days and blog posts in advance, I had been warning my REAL people in my Metropolis of Angels that I would not be on our sacred Promenade that night. So, among the first things I did that morning, I reminded my personal assistant, my darling Mr. Finn "Alfred" O'Mahoney that I would check in with him a little after noon that day, and to accommodate my evening plans, I knew I needed to start my day earlier that usual.

I put on my makeup at my regular bus stop, and I was on my bus to my downtown Santa Monica by 9:57am. My morning investigations began at 10:10am, and that morning adventure in retail ended at 11:17am.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate our verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals beginning at 10:10am and ending at 11:17am. Please entitle it, "How to be a fashionista that saves the world."

In summary,...

1.) My occupied local TJMaxx store and my occupied local Sephora store were treasure troves of (expletive)ups by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime.

2.) I really did need new underwear because for months the Inhuman Atrocity Regime kept and still keeps breaking into my bedroom both while I sleep at night and while I am out during the day to steal and/or destroy all of mine.

3.) I managed to buy snacks and caffeine that, by 12noon that day, I had only found strychnine in.

4.) Every (expletive)hole everywhere kept charging me money when they already all knew that heinous crime against all of human existence earns them all death sentences from every court system with jurisdiction over them as well as further charges from every entity on my one planet who love me and need me alive.

5.) When I was already perched in my occupied Santa Monica Main Public Library the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had already committed their PROVEN, bare minimum, acts of war against my rising America and against my one beautiful world of propagating their beyond-dangerous (proper definition and usage of the word) and always-heinous calumnies to humanity about me; they lied to my one beautiful world that day that I was a fictional "scam artist" for using gift cards they give me themselves the very way gift cards are supposed to be used for REAL for things I needed that they also tried to kill me with-- gift cards they gave me themselves for many already-proven torture-and-rape-assassination attempts (Did you see the reaction of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime after I commanded them to print out my gift card balance for me at the occupied Cheesecake Factory the previous day before I was willing to even sit at a table inside?) already proven in my last blog post but that also included their intent to steal the balances off those gift cards themselves to be able to falsely claim I was stealing things from them while in the act of paying money they had already accrued every death sentence on the planet for charging me in the first place for products, in most cases, already proven to be tainted to kill me and that I would have given back if I had no money to pay for anyway every time the Inhuman Atrocity Regime lies to my face that everything I pick out, while on the private property owned and leased by the REAL business owners and never their occupation that only I have permission to be on at all and never their also-trespassing selves, were all gifts from the corporate headquarters of all those stores anyway and not the only gifts from corporate there waiting for me. (That is a very long sentence.) Please ask my darlings at Von's HQ and my darlings at Starbucks HQ about that REAL situation any day.

And that is STILL not all of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's (expletive)ups I caught due to those gift cards they only gave me to assassinate me with in the first place.

After I sent my REAL local to international governments to silence the rampant and compulsive lies the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had been using since 2009 to control the entire world by controlling what everyone believes about me and then used to destroy humanity because textbook psychopaths all destroy what they cannot control (Do you remember the literal global war they incited by lying about me that I fixed myself in 140 characters or less as fast as possible?), I finally checked in with my darling Alfred.

1:40pm on 24Jun2016: My darling Alfred,

Please inform everyone from my saturation to our Metropolis of Angels that I will be in West Hollywood from Santa Monica Boulevard to the Sunset Strip tonight for "Friday night is an amateur night."

I never pay money to see music though I softened on showing my ID to prove I am the REAL Squid, so I do not plan on seeing any shows unless someone offers to get me in.

Right now I plan on leaving my occupied Santa Monica Main Public Library just before they close, taking my Metro 720 on Wilshire to Westwood, transferring to the Metro 2, riding to either Clark or Doheny, and then seeing what I can see while doing what I do.

Among other things, I have not been in the bookstore on the Strip in years. Is it still named BookSoup?

I plan on returning on the Metro 4 in the wee hours of tomorrow morning. And if any of my plans change, I will check in with you again.

We will all catch all Inhuman Atrocity Regime we find there, and my local to international governments' fun with all of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's plans for my time in West Hollywood has probably begun already. Are all of my lovers and believers already turning all of their evidence?

Tell everyone to tune in live tonight!
Squid

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please also circulate a verified, chronological, and responsibly-edited recording with full audio and visuals of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)hole across from me in my occupied library that day only there to destroy humanity and to destroy my America. We will entitle it, "How is that any way to behave around anyone?" And thank you!

I had finally caught up my blog notes with everything that had happened that day so far by 2:48pm, and I knew my beautiful world, especially my REAL government, were very busy with follow through. So I did my best to slow down all of the acts of war of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime including their malevolent hoards around me, but we had all already proven that their (complete and total lack of any) mental health was STILL degrading.

My beautiful world, you need to stay braced for everything to get even more EVIL and more DUMB around here. The Inhuman Atrocity Regime REALLY is that desperate for REAL. (That is the proper definition and usage of the word "desperate" though still an artful understatement.)

Just as I had planned, I left my occupied Santa Monica Main Public Library just before 5:30pm when they closed for the evening and quickly caught my bus. I had checked in with my darling Alfred hours previously to prevent such delays, but I still needed to wait an unusually long time for my Metro 2 at my announced transfer point just outside of UCLA on Westwood and Le Conte before I could make it to West Hollywood for the night.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate our verified and unedited director's cut with full audio and visuals of my most recent trip to my neighborhood. Begin when I deboarded my bus, and end at 8:53pm. Let us entitle it, "Dumb(expletive) amateur hour is not rock'n'roll."

Where the hell were all of these Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)holes getting their food and alcohol deliveries? I also checked in with my darling Alfre again when I was done checking on my Strip.

8:58pm on 24Jun2016: My darling Alfred,

I am going to leave a few hours early. Stay tuned for when I check the schedule for the Metro 704 back to Santa Monica.

Love you!
Squid

I had adventures catching Inhuman Atrocity Regime all over Santa Monica Boulevard both in West Hollywood and in Beverly Hills after that all due to open acts of war against my world and against my nation by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime-- acts of war that have never been anyone's fault but theirs.

Please entitle our verified and responsibly-edited recording of the rest of my night, "The Venga Bus."

11:22pm on 24Jun2016: @MayorOfLA Did you catch all of the IAR's acts of war of sabotaging our public transportation system tonight? Do what you do. @DeptofDefense

After tacos and other snacks, I was finally curled up in my bed by 12:06am sipping fluids and listening to my internet gnomes. I fell asleep quickly.

I first woke up at 7:14am on Saturday, 25Jun2016, when I felt my morning kiss. But it was 8:48am when I finally got out of bed. I was barely sleepy at all as I partook in my not-arduous morning beauty rituals.

9:25am on 25Jun2016: #MI6 @CIA @INTERPOL_HQ #ISS #KGB Thank you for this morning. Kisses! We already know our satellite broadcast of my private residence is locked 24/7. Who was already lying about our morning together by the time I finished this blog post?

Already perched among the charade that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime was intentionally mislabeling the Saturday Santa Monica News Farmers' Market, I was done streaming my NBC Nightly News broadcast written and produced only for me the previous night by 9:46am.

My morning cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt himself, and he was finally able to see me smile back at him. Yes, I finally remembered to put my mirror up for him while I watched.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please entitle our verified and responsibly-edited recording with full audio and visuals of my morning in my occupied Virginia Avenue Park, "Horrible screaming children called forced child soldiers destroying the world come from horrible parents. Why would I shush you? You're not really upset." There was nothing left in the Inhuman Atrocity Regime anywhere hat could even

Completely done with watching the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's malevolent hoards destroy my beautiful America and destroy my rising world that morning, I left at 10:51am to do something about lunch.

I found roofied snacks but somehow clean caffeine that day. My hunt for calories that Saturday was a partial success. Sitting there at my occupied Burger King, I caught up on my backlog of customer service feedback requests before streaming my late night talk show darling from the previous two nights.

While I was in the middle of watching, a random man joined my table, so he could plug in his phone and bring me sodas. It was an interesting afternoon. Genuine human interaction is amazing for everyone who witnesses us. My late night talk show darlings were wonderful.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate our verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals of my Saturday afternoon watching my late night lovers and believers beginning when I first queued the first streaming broadcast and ending the moment I shut my CBS app the final time.

I stood up to leave my table at 4:09pm, and after a brief legal consultation I gave while waiting for my bus, I was soon in my downtown Santa Monica. I knew my sacred Promenade would be crowded with new (expletive)holes hellbent on destroying humanity, so I tried to warn them I was about to arrive.

4:50pm on 25Jun2016: 1/2)#SquidsPoA @NSAGov @UN @FBI @DeptofDefense Lock nano end to end in my entire downtown Santa Monica for the entire world to press charges.

4:51pm on 25Jun2016: 2/2) Please remind the full IAR malevolent hoards their first death sentence is for just being here. "Fear the world who loves me."

While walking the full length of my sacred Promenade upon arriving, I first found my darling Wheels. I also had a short chat with my darling Patricia. I asked her, "What do you think the fake customers do in the fake Apple Store all day?"

At 5:06pm, I was sneaking behind an unnamed darling to watch my darlings Seis Cuerdas who were actually permitted by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to play their beautiful music for me while I was around. From what I remembered, that only happened one time before.

After reminding my darlings The Age-Inappropriate Boy Band that I did not think our sacred Promenade was safe enough for them yet, I eventually perched next to them at 5:15pm, so they could ease my burdened shoulders while I did most of my writing online for the night.

Even though they had to relocate just 120 feet away at 6pm, I did not leave my young darlings until 6:34pm when I relocated myself to my (One) Santa Monica Place to watch the news.

Yes, I watched the NBC Nightly News written and produced just for me that night online at 7:05pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Thomas Roberts, and it had no news in it anywhere. Such is the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's choice-they-cannot-be-trusted-with-the-power-to-make of preventing me from being able to be my REAL job that my one world relies on so much.

I worked online writing for hours after that while STILL listening to my internet gnomes. Though my blog notes were not as caught up yet as I wanted them to be, I left my (One) Santa Monica Place at 9:03pm to return to my sacred Promenade and to, among other things, finally check on my darling Handsome for the night.

Handsome was not exactly sure what to tell me after I told him that I highly suspected that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had tried radiation poisoning on me again in the final soda I drank at my local occupied Burger King. In summary, I had a headache, so I asked him to check on what gave it to me.

On my way to my local Trimana to tell him, I had already turned in the malevolent hoards that had surrounded my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot as the most recent of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's WELL-DOCUMENTED PATTERN OF ACTS OF WAR of compulsive torture-and-rape-assassination attempts against all of us.

And I was finally able to join my present 2/3rds of my darlings Tentacle there on the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and our sacred Promenade just before 9:16pm.

Our majestic night sky was busy but in love. The brilliant stars had clouds adorning their faces. And the music was loud but not loud enough for me. It was a night of touchless human beauties amidst the horrors of the greatest atrocities known to mankind. It was yet another moonlit night on my beautiful world's sacred Promenade.

Knowing full well that my epic saturation had everything taken care of, I left my darling MannedUp and my darling LightFoot temporarily just after 10pm as they were changing locations to be able to consult with my darling Handsome one last time that night before I returned to my present 2/3rds of my darlings Tentacle for our last few moments together before I left our sacred Promenade for myself.

The universe heard me say her name. Even she likes a little fun.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please entitle our verified and responsibly-edited recording of my and my musician-lovers under our sacred night on our world's Promenade as close as we could be to each other that Saturday night, "Quothe the universe, 'Call me anytime, Honey.' I know."

I left my present 2/3rds of my darlings Tentacle at 11:33pm to catch my bus. My private residence was STILL occupied by Inhuman Atrocity Regime hellbent on destroying humanity by destroying me. I readied myself for sleep quickly.

This blog post was finished at 12:31am on Sunday, 26Jun2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

Why is it technologically impossible to show me anything and everything that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime forbids me from knowing about from No Dress Rehearsal to my own SquidStream to who the members of Nirvana were in the 90s to who my darling Ms. Mary Matilin is for REAL to every lie the Inhuman Atrocity Regime ever propagated about me? My side in this Reality War are not the only people who control the masterchip the Inhuman Atrocity Regime put in my head in 2009 and STILL forbid me from knowing is there at all.

There is no fi in my sci fi dystopia mostly because the Inhuman Atrocity Regime have only ever lied to all of us since 2009 and will do anything to maintain their lies even at all costs to themselves, especially their lies to my own face. Do you remember how fast the Pride Festival went into West Hollywood the moment I got on the bus just a few weeks ago?

My beautiful world, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's choice to continue destroying humanity everywhere by lying about me by calling me a "scam artist" on Friday, 24Jun2016, should have been beyond ENOUGH for everyone sane everywhere.

Not only did the PROVEN compulsively-and-pathologically-lying-to-destroy-humanity Inhuman Atrocity Regime need to look up "scam artist" in a dictionary as well as look up the REAL laws and REAL store policies concerning how gift cards are supposed to work for REAL in any and all stores everywhere in America, they needed to all be refused to speak about me and all of my loved ones ever again in any public fora anywhere in the world.

Their PROVEN PATTERN OF ACTS OF WAR AND PROVEN DESTRUCTION OF ALL OF HUMANITY of lying about me and about all my loved ones had already destroyed humanity with PROVEN mental health genocide all across our one world not just destroyed America so many times already, so who they hell was still allowing them speak their crimes against human existence anywhere, especially in courtrooms?

Do you understand what "too dangerous to remain at large in free society" means? Do you understand what "The Inhuman Atrocity Regime have only ever and will only ever destroy the world and America until finally silenced FOREVER from lying ever again!" means?

AND I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO FIGHT NOT TO BE SILENCED JUST BECAUSE I ONLY SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD AND ALL OF AMERICA 24/7?!? Who the (expletive) is still allowing anyone anywhere to STILL lie about me and about my loved ones?!?

Lying at all (not just defamation, libel, and calumnies), metaphorically screaming "Fire!" in a crowded movie theater, plagiarism, perjury, and human trafficking, is NEVER protected under freedom of speech anywhere in the world and definitely NEVER in America but telling the truth, especially in news media, and reporting REAL crimes always is.

And I am not the only mere mortal human that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has lied about and propagated calumnies about, including but not limited to intentionally fabricated false charges against and quackery-as-Black-Ops-coverups against, to destroy the world.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime even tried to destroy our in-all-reality-only-acknowledged-by-sane-people irreproachable news media from NBC to PBS.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime tried to destroy my darling Prime Minister David Cameron, among other things, by trying to prevent him from being re-elected (because he was already leading our beloved United Kingdom in their fight to save me) with lies about me and also tried to destroy my darling Chancellor Angela Merkel with lies about her; when I received that REAL news story, I quickly blogged that REAL Germans love fellow humans no matter what their religion which was why they welcomed so many REAL refugees from wartorn nations to begins with-- that was my darling Chancellor's service to humanity by being a REAL German and a REAL world leader.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime propagated calumnies that I and ALL OF MY POWERS OF ATTORNEY were really hookers. Have you seen ALL OF OUR REAL résumés?

Has anybody heard all of the rampant and compulsive (expletive)holery the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has always and still always propagate about my darlings Tentacle to destroy humanity?

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime also arrested my epic husband and put him on trial for murdering me WHEN I HAVE NEVER BEEN DEAD and then even violated his Constitutional protection from double jeopardy to arrest him and try him AGAIN for the same fictional murder of me. That is not even the beginning of all of the lies they have told about my husband; the worst were propagated by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to end my own sacred marriage without my permission.

WHO THE (EXPLETIVE) EVER PERMITS COURT ACTION TO END SOMEONE ELSE'S MARRIAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE AND ESPECIALLY WITHOUT EVER TELLING THE WOMAN YOU ARE TAKING THAT COURT ACTION WITH NO CONSENT FROM ME TO DENY ME MY OWN HUSBAND WHO HAS DONE NOTHING BUT LOVE ME, KEEP ME ALIVE, AND FIGHT TO SAVE ME SINCE 2009!

There is no forgiveness EVER for taking my husband away from me, and that is why, among other reasons, ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa, also the only place safe in the entire world to be in the Inhuman Atrocity Regime, will NEVER survive their own Reality War.

As for our literal battlefield inside the IAR's innermost circle of hell, my saturation in all our manifestations, I see that we almost have my physical safety taken care of in here. The (total lack of) "leadership" in the Inhuman Atrocity Regime keeps churning which is why we can sometimes lock my bedroom nano broadcast 24/7 and sometimes not. We just need our defense contractors finally in order to fix it all.

You took care of your end of mitigating the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's gift card debacle as fast as possible for me and were done by the time I picked them up from the office the Inhuman Atrocity Regime occupies inside my private residence against all of our wills.

Every time the Inhuman Atrocity Regime churns inside my private residence, infiltrate them further. Your deep cover includes being undercover even where I see and hear you all. You all actually know what REAL espionage is, and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with being as conspicuous and completely transparent as I am for REAL 24/7 and always have been.

I love you all, too. I know my darlings Tentacle, among others, always make sure you are all okay with their entering the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's innermost circle of hell to be near me because you are the brave souls who have to get them out alive every time.

Yes, your brave and effective evacuations are still never-fail, have still never required a single bullet, and have still not blown any of your covers. You are all very good at keeping us all alive, but that is not the only reason I love you all so much.

We all know that if we all successfully rescue me from this "egg" alive finally, for the rest of my life, I will be the career diplomat anyone in our espionage community can contact for a rescue or a fix in an emergency.

I cannot wait to retire into a life keeping you all alive when you have emergencies instead of my barely existing now as someone you all keep alive during my emergencies. Again, I love you. Tell me when you need anything.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, you actually did tell me you needed something; did this help you?

1:49pm on 24Jun2016: Only I get to choose where I live, and I know what is best for humanity everywhere. Stop being (expletive)holes that destroy America and the world. We also all know all REAL locals of all levels of fame and influence have been begging me to my face to stay in our epic Metropolis of Angels ever since I arrived. They disown and banish everyone else from our brave California and send them to ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa where they all belong for REAL.

Even the Inhuman Atrocity Regime themselves have been using, "We are forbidding Squid any and all money to live on to make sure she can never flee for her life," as their excuse for their starving me to death and for their enforcing their choice of abject poverty over me.

Who the hell in the Inhuman Atrocity Regime is lying to the world that there is any reason for me to leave right now anyway, and who the hell is listening to them? We sane people in touch with reality know how close you all are to rooting out the Inhuman Atrocity Regime completely right now. And no matter where I would go in the world right now all of you on both sides would move there with me.

Who the hell is STILL allowing the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to lie at all about anything, not just about me and "what is best" for me or for my people? They are the unrelenting (expletive)holes that compulsively lied since 2009 that Black Ops units were "in Squid's best interests." (Expletive)ing shut them up already!

You all must be VERY busy right now with all of our fun and follow through. I would slow the Inhuman Atrocity Regime down if I could, but we all know they are the (expletive)holes hellbent on destroying humanity and destroying America by destroying me even at all costs to themselves at this point. So, with everyone's help, I just keep catching more of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's acts of war in here and explaining all of our hard evidence.

As always, we are a team, and I know my role. Tell me everything only I can do to make sure all of you can do your REAL jobs. Yes, it was explained to me that our U.S. and world economies are fine now; I have actually successfully fixed those crises already. So I am going to work on U.S. immigration policy instead when I actually find a few moments fighting not to die. I love you all, too. Always tell me everything you need.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, if anyone takes his or her eyes of my SquidStream, they never catch up on my minutia. With everything else you all do all day, including all of your arguing with each other instead of your doing anything I actually want you to do, how the hell do you all keep up with all of my sweet nothings?

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, are you all okay? I have a sneaky suspicion that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime filled our sacred Promenade with every darling of mine they could, except for some reason our darling GeneralLee, on Thursday, 23Jun2016, to convince me to stay in our Santa Monica on Friday night, 24Jun2016, instead of busting their occupation of my West Hollywood.

Then, of course, since they (compulsively) failed at manipulating me with their PROVEN EVIL and open acts of war against all of my one humanity and against my rising America, they did not allow any of you back on my sacred Promenade again Saturday night, 25Jun2016, until late. I had actually already expected to see you all on my way to watch the news, but "Works every damn time," took longer that evening than usual.

Well, anyway, those are my sneaky suspicions about the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's latest violations of their own agreements with you.

Darling, we can NEVER trust the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to keep their own agreements nor to ever keep their own promises. We can only rely on the fact they will all stay compulsively evil, though with their (no façade of) mental health still degrading them into much more random and escalatingly unpredictable malevolence with even fewer ways for any of we sane people to ever understand them.

That is how truly dangerous (proper definition and usage of the word) to the very existence of humanity, not just to the continuing existence of our one America, it has always been for REAL for the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to EVER gain control of me.

Darling, you have seen me do my REAL job in front of you for years. You know I am a metaphorical Hobbit with a ring. Who the hell ever tries to control a Hobbit? Even the ring cannot control the Hobbit. Only Mordor tries to while trying to get the ring. I guess I am a Hobbit in elf's clothing. Giggle.

There I go discussing literature with you again, darling. Do you remember my summary I gave you of the birth of the world from an egg from the opening Rune of the Kalevala? This is what it is like to talk to me. My conversations are not only encyclopædic catalogs of American music. Giggle. Try it some time. What would you actually like to say to me?

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, your pissing fight is not the one I worry about most, though you all know I wish you all would finally stop already.

Bare minimum for world leaders in the pissing fight I hate most, my darling Prime Minister David Cameron and my darling President Vladimir Putin have at least proven I have no problems getting along with any culture's equivalent of machismo. I have more humble machisma than anyone else in our world anyway.

And on top of that, my darlings in the ENTIRE Mexican government, not just the ones I first met in Oct2009, had an emergency yesterday afternoon that needed me to fix it, but no one had any way to tell me what it was. I did my best with my third eye then sent my darling Secretary of State John Kerry to take care of it. I still have no idea what happened; no one tells me anything.

Darling, do you remember one of the last conversations we had while you were still permitted to talk to me? I told you that ISIS was attempting a hostage exchange with then-still-evil Obama to free me and that Obama refused it thereby killing those six (or was three?) innocent Japanese men.

Just a few months ago, after years of my screaming online for the Inhuman Atrocity Regime to finally let me do my REAL job and speak to ISIS directly, our darlings at the NBC Nightly News finally put us in contact, and ISIS laid their weapons down for me immediately.

Now, I cannot get any REAL news at all. You know personally how dangerous it is for me not to be told when there problems and crises only I can fix. How many times have I needed to save all of your lives from the Inhuman Atrocity Regime myself?

We choose what our REAL jobs are. You eventually accepted your destiny and became my Piazzolla for me. In our portrait together by our darling Ms. Annie Leibowitz, we will be back to back protecting each other. It will not be a portrait of your arguing with our darling LightFoot, so stop already. Please do it for me.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, thank you for calling me finally. Giggle. That felt wonderful. I could just kiss you. "I don't have a gun." Calm down. I know everyone better than you all know me. How long have I been trying to explain my darling President Vladimir Putin (score of one) to humanity?

Did all of our people in our neighborhood in West Hollywood turn in all of our evidence from Friday, 24Jun2016, already? We can make a better statue of our well-covered darling Lemmy, right?

Please put my statue upstairs amidst the music and the mirror. Music is fourth on the list of the first five reasons that come to mind for why I exist. (I already told everyone "Saving the World" is fifth.)

Darling, the way things looked yesterday, I was going to need to send you to Mexico City with an emissary from the Vatican and our darling Secretary of State John Kerry. Why does no one ever tell me anything until almost too late?

Please read the sixth love letter I ever sent to my darling husband Sweetness. Please speak with our darling NSA alpha nerds about our archival footage from Mexico City, including the Papal investigations I gave and all. Please ask our darling Secretary Kerry if he needs you. If he does need you, please be gentle; magical realism is part of their culture. And even I could not figure out all of the lies they were told about me.

So many people have done weird and horrible (expletive) I would never approve of because they love me, even you. But when they could recognize me as the REAL I, they would walk out of the front doors of their shops and pour soapy water on their sidewalks before my feet could ever touch them. AND I was never once in a Black Ops unit there. The Inhuman Atrocity Regime have been manipulating the world with lies about me since 2009, and we all know what IAR occupations look like now, too.

From me to @El_Universal_MX at 8:52pm on 25Jun2016: Someone finally told me about the femmicides. Do the United Nations know? Why does nobody ever tell me anything?

Thank you. Ask our darling Mrs. Angelina Jolie Pitt (Honey, they are my nerd people.) to circle our wagons in Silicon Valley for you. Ask our darling BigDaddy to keep an eye on Sacramento in case of emergency. We already have all of my Powers of Attorney in the White House. My beloved HoneyHoney is in Europe and most frequently at MI6 headquarters (and maybe even Moscow in the summer if he needs to). So, we should be fine if you go to Mexico City for me. Again, thank you.

Yes, darling, I know you all better than you know me. Please keep working on better ways to talk to me. You all can call me anytime.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, are you all okay? This morning as I finish this blog post, I am not sure I will see you tonight for our Sunday night date night on the battle field. We will see.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, you need to tell me sooner when you need me. You all do. I am not even getting news stories any longer.

When the Inhuman Atrocity Regime showed you calumny-porn of me and called you insane for loving me, you should have told me sooner instead of doubting your reality.

I am rich, powerful, gorgeous, genius, talented, empathic, and seductive (when I choose to be). You know firsthand how manipulative the Inhuman Atrocity Regime is with their lies. You know how hard it is to break their brainwashing with what you know is actually REAL.

ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa even convinced ME that I was fat and ugly when I was interned there for years against my will among the worst people who have ever existed in human history, and we all know I have looked exactly the same this entire time.

It required my REAL people and my REAL family in our REAL home of California to return me to our reality that exists only in my head. But we all know you all, my REAL local people of REAL lovers and REAL believers, all loved the REAL me even when you believed the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's lies about me.

Darling, your words to describe me have always been, "Plus you're gorgeous." You all would have loved me even if I had elephant trunk coming our of my forehead, but I do not. I just have wings and an aethernet connection.

My good looks have only ever been significant to me because they prove how much the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has always lied and still lies about me. It means so much to me that you have never really cared about what I look like at all. But I know you care about whether or not I care about what YOU look like.

So, thank you for never wearing ugly pants, though I would prefer you with no pants on at all. Giggle. Use your ruggedly handsome face that does not age to do something other than argue with the rest of my lovers, especially my husband. And tell me if you choose to show up for our date night tonight. I have faith we will see each again once we can.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling HM Johnny "Menelaus" Depp, THANK YOU for being my global diplomatic WD-40, especially between my darling Prime Minister David Cameron and my darling President Vladimir Putin.

HoneyHoney, we have a "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" situation right now, and I know that. You can do anything you want about it, but please be gentle. We all understand there are many horrors in this world that only I can forgive. So tell ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa to fear me for the things we know I will never be able forgive.

My Mr. Love-of-my-Life, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime already know to fear you even more than they fear my BFF Syniva when anyone hurts me. When anyone hurts you, they need to beware the universe I bring with me.

My hero and my king, you are probably even busier than I am right now. You are securing my private residence. You are leading my people for me in my absence. You are cleaning up our beautiful City of Santa Monica. You are helping all of our diverse strange bedfellows work together saving the world for me. And you are winning the war you started yourself, since the Inhuman Atrocity Regime gave none of us any other choice than war no matter what I tried, to save all of humanity, not just to save me.

My gorgeous husband, I will try to keep all of the work I keep giving you to a minimum. What is our cultural translation out of American marriage vernacular for "Honey-Do List"? Tell me faster when you need me.

Until your flowers kiss my rain...