Thursday, June 9, 2016

STILL Alive and Kicking

Title: STILL Alive and Kicking

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. My beautiful world, I actually thought my work would slow down after my 03Jun and 05Jun2016 posts. Now, I am pretty much just doing my best to make sure none of us die, and it still keeps me very busy.

My last blog post was finished at 1:11pm on Tuesday, 07Jun2016. The presidential primaries for the State of California were that day, and our local polling place for my voting district was in Virginia Avenue Park. I was not registered with any political parties holding primaries that election cycle; I was running for President, as the incumbent, in Nov2016 unopposed in my own political party.

The morning had been cold and grey, but by 1:18pm, my darling Ms. Mother Nature had cleared her stratus clouds, so the world could see our warm California sun high in our beautiful, blue sky.

After finishing my previous blog post, I took of my black trench coat and did something about lunch. Please begin our verified and unedited director's cut at 1:18pm, and it end when I sent my tweet to Trader Joe's corporate. Please entitle it, "What I'm eating for lunch today." Did you all see me leave that store some reshelving?

I took the bus back to my Manor.

2:47pm on 07Jun2016: IAR's fake bus driver not only charged me money; she also committed the acts of war of disobeying me, creating a hostile environment, etc.

With my fresh and prepackaged groceries from Trader Joe's safely in my bedroom, I cued my internet gnomes at 3:02pm and noshed while writing online that afternoon.

With my notes for this blog post finally all caught up, I curled up in bed to conserve my energy for later in the night at 4:53pm. With very little happening among my people beyond everyone still catching up with the last week or so of my not-really-reality reality while everyone was also STILL literally dying saving humanity from the Inhuman Atrocity Regime, I woke up at 6:01pm and rode the bus to my regular bus stop in my downtown Santa Monica.

At 6:37pm, my darling Patricia found me at my regular perch in my Santa Monica Place beside my Best Starbucks in the World and offered me coffee. The coffee that day was not caffeinated and also had something else weird about it.

Our REAL employees had only just arrived in time for me to be there anyway, and the coffee was not piping hot as if just brewed. I do not think they expected me to buy coffee that evening.

No one knew what was in that coffee, but my darling Patricia had already taken her half of our cup of coffee away to be tested by the time I reported to Starbucks corporate that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had messed with my Best Starbucks in the World AGAIN. Do did everyone notice, too, when my coffee cup stopped leaking?

I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7:05pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it ended with a young woman who might run for the Office of the President of the United States of America herself one day saying (paraphrase), "Whether we are a man or a woman, we can all do the same thing," to which I replied, "But no one can do it better than I can [yet]."

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime's latest Black Ops unit threat to destroy humanity by destroying me had cleared by the time I left my Santa Monica Place.

After walking past my and my beautiful world's UNESCO World Heritage Site named Harvelle's and witnessing my darling MiniMe and my darlings Tentacle's REAL sound check (The bass was turned up to eleven.), I found this across the street...

7:54pm on 07Jun2016: @SynivaWhitney Remember the song you used to sing me in Washington Square Park when we both lived in North Beach?

7:55pm on 07Jun2016: @SynivaWhitney "Despite all my rage, I'm still just a pipe in a cage." That was your old joke, my darling BFF. #LOVE


Please begin our verified and almost-unedited (It is okay to show me in the restroom just never in the stall.) director's cut with full audio and visuals at 8pm exactly, and end at 2am exactly. We entitle it, "Stan called backup; so did I."

Among other things, we learned that the LA Metro runs Expo line trains to downtown Santa Monica until 1:07am on week nights. There was also nano on my Santa Monica Pier watching my beach. I know everything you saw. By 1:51am, I was perched on my Santa Monica Pier working, as always.

After I received the hard confirm that all of my darlings had been safely evacuated from here inside the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's innermost circle of hell, I sent my VERY busy saturation ahead of me to secure my Manor before I returned there.

Walking the shortest route back to my private residence, my Manor, a taxi driver the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had sent me delivered me to my Manor, just not directly to my door, before my saturation could secure my building for me. I told my driver no one would complain.

Please circulate a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals of my taxi ride beginning at 2:18am and ending at 2:41am. Entitle it, "Those drums are calling, 'Taxi! Taxi!'

After a little work in my bedroom including reporting all people in my building but me as Inhuman Atrocity Regime and making a mental note that my local Burger King had just received a HUGE food order that was not from Burger King corporate's food suppliers, I finally moved my iPad from beside me in bed to my bed stand at 3:42am and curled up to sleep.

I slept until 9:25am on Wednesday, 08Jun2016. At 9:38am, my internet gnomes were playing me the Indiana Jones theme song composed by my darling Mr. John Williams. I was NOT groggy at all; even though, it looked like the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had entered my bedroom to put my own hair serum in my hair in my sleep to lie to all of humanity that I was at all unkept.

My SquidStream was kickstarted by 10:01am. Did everyone see me catch up with my niece JenJen's photos on Facebook after I wished her a happy birthday? I miss my family. That morning, I also told my mom to call me through FaceTime at 6pm my time that evening. She used to be able to visit me much more often.

-----Begin Email Content-----
From: Tanya Hedelisa Albon Depp de Varilek
Date: Wednesday 08Jun2016
Time: 10:28am
To: CosmicGrandma
Cc: POTUS SynSyn, my Pentagon, my NSA alpha nerds
Subject: Let's FaceTime today, Wednesday, at 6pm PDT.


Please send me more of this hair serum and the black version of this eyeliner you always send me.  Also, send safe snacks, hydration, and caffeine.  In fact, send me anything you want.  I could use new clothes and shoes, too.  

We all know all the mail you send me now actually comes from the J. Edgar Hoover building.  So, send me all the cash you want, too.  The FBI put trackers in everything they mail me for you.  My SquidStream will prove if everything you send me actually arrives.

Call me today through FaceTime at 6pm my time.

I love you!


"Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again." --Romeo

-----End Email Content-----

My iPad camera was STILL too hacked for morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies, but I still got a lot of work done. After looking around for any actual locals, I perched in my completely-occupied Virginia Avenue Park where the Inhuman Atrocity Regime were STILL escalating their forced child soldiers.

My Twitter feed was full of nothing but crap because the Inhuman Atrocity Regime was doing everything possible to make sure NO ONE could communicate with me at all, but I knew that you, my REAL people, were still catching up on follow through from my last few blog posts, anyway. There were very few immediate crises you needed me to address still that afternoon.

I tried streaming my late night talk show darlings, among other reasons, to see if you, my beautiful world, had any questions you still needed me to answer, but I was just too hacked for anything but snippets of the previous night's Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

While I was asking my well-organized nerd community to find out who had been sending me fake emails from my darling Nemo's email account, a gang of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's child soldiers actually physically assaulted me. I am sure we have the footage from the nano watching our occupied park and occupied library.

At 1:01pm, I left my perch among the beloved embrace of my Mother Nature to do something about lunch. I visited my local cheesecake shop for the first time ever.

I read all of the stickers outside the front door before entering. An "employee" was eating a store-bought burrito or two with some store-cut vegetables when I walked in. Do you know what little money she would be living on if she were a REAL day-shift employees in my local cheesecake shop?

She said to me, "I hope they freak you," when I told her I wanted a slice of the store's REAL chef's cookies'n'cream cheesecake.

My iPad battery was unnaturally draining, so I plugged it into the socket the REAL store owners offer their REAL customers. I also connected to the REAL establishment's wifi.

The first thing I did was report the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's intentional interruption of my ability to get ANY reliable global or national news from my darlings at CNN.

1:29pm on 08Jun2016: @CNN The IAR knew better than to mess with your ability to give me REAL news about global crises. You saw that.

Then, I told the REAL owner what else I had noticed so far.

1:37pm on 08Jun2016: #RoccosCheesecake I can't taste any espresso nor chocolate in my mocha, but it is not making me sleepy. She also got your hours wrong? #LOVE. The only thing tainted in the food and drink was the milk in my mocha, but it was not even making me sleepy. It tasted like he used instant chocolate milk made with water in my mocha, too, which would be completely uncharacteristic in a gourmet cheesecake restaurant. And I could not find any sign of any espresso in my drink at all. The cheesecake was delicious.

That food and drink did clear the chemicalled mess still afflicting my mere mortal mind, though, that was caused by my few sips of coffee that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime had forced on my Best Starbucks in the World the previous evening. I think that not-real-Starbucks-coffee was the source of the arsenic I noticed had processed out of my body by 2am, too.

My battery indicator in my iPad was hacked. I left my local cheesecake shop at 3:03pm after reporting enough of what I had found inside to you, my beautiful world.

Perched inside my bedroom STILL writing online, I noticed that the "free" cheesecake the IAR's "employee" had given me before I left was at least chemicalled to dehydrate me. I had no idea what else was in it.

It looked like my beloved mother living safely overseas where I sent her myself called me earlier that day than I asked her to. She called me at 4:04pm instead of at 6pm and confirmed to my face that NO ONE can take my REALLY proven unlimited data plan away from my REAL iPad EVER without death sentences from the entirety of humanity AND that she had already asked the FBI to send me the mail I had asked her to send me just that morning.

I knew my REAL mother, my darling CosmicGrandma, would also produce her hard evidence of every Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)hole who EVER threatened her and threatened me for anything, including with open lies anyone could ever disconnect my iPad from my internet at all without immediate death sentences from the entirety of humanity.

I knew my REAL mother would also even turn the Inhuman Atrocity Regime in for claiming they were charging me money for my data plan. My beautiful world and I had already proven that my REAL darlings at Sprint would NEVER disconnect me nor ever let me down.

4:16pm on 08Jun2016: My beautiful world, please check on my tormented mother. Collect our REAL evidence from her & from REAL Sprint HQ about my REAL data plan.

After much more writing online, I left my bedroom and rode the first bus to my sacred Promenade.

After collecting beyond-enough evidence that the supposed "Save the Children" (expletive)s were STILL destroying humanity by destroying me by occupying my and my beautiful world's sacred Promenade as just one of their many acts of war against us all, not just their open disobedience of orders from the Commander in Chief myself in a very recognized war zone on U.S. soil, by 5:51pm, I was perched beside my darling Mr. Peter Oarsman beside my local Old Navy store.

6:09pm on 08Jun2016: @NSAGov @davidkarp #Anonymous IAR crap polluting my Twitter feed is particularly insulting my intelligence today. Record all screen captures?

My street performers always change location every even-numbered hour on our Promenade; even though, they do not have to anymore. So, after my darling Peter left for the day, by 6:18pm, I was chatting with my darling Maggie beside my local Apple Store while my darling Mr. Zen Thomas played us beautiful music from across the street.

After it looked like my darling Maggie finally received a paying customer, I perched in a much more regular chair for myself where my darling Patricia found me at 6:29pm.

With most of my beautiful world still prevented from communicating with me at all, which was why I was pretty much only concentrating on keeping all of us alive any longer, I walked past my darling WadeInTheWaterChildren on my way to my Santa Monica Place.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News from my usual perch at 7:05pm. My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it was a thank you from my beautiful world to me.

I left my regular perch beside my Best Starbucks in the World inside my Santa Monica Place at 7:44pm to both find snacks and to help remove the partial-occupation of my local Trimana Fresh Food Market.

By 8:12pm, I was perched beside my darling Wade hanging out and goofing off since both of those genuine human interactions between genuinely sane people were REAL requirements of both of our REAL jobs.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, for (expletive)s & giggles, please circulate a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals beginning at 7:44pm and ending when I sat down in my chair next to my darling WadeInTheWaterChildren.

It was a mellow night for me without a lot of people needing me to save their lives. Did you all see me speak to my darling Promenade employee John and the fake D.A.R.E. representative? It was unnaturally chilly for June in Southern California that night, so I let my hair down. Did everyone see that, too?

Wade and I even had a little singalong before he stopped playing at 10:05pm. He was wonderful company who successfully soothed my burdened shoulders that night.

I left my sacred Promenade for my regular bus stop at 10:17pm. My bus back to my place was timely. I bought a few snacks that I was pretty sure would not kill me from the vending machines in my private residence. I was already writing online in my bedroom at 10:50pm.

This blog post was finished from my bedroom in my Manor STILL occupied by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime pretending to be "residents" and "employees" in a fictional board & care which my REAL private residence definitely was not at 12:11am on Thursday, 09Jun2016, just minutes into my beloved Sweetness's 53rd birthday.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

[My beautiful world, you did not send me any questions for this post.]

My beautiful world, for a long time now you have been ready for me to die at any moment due to the Inhuman Atrocity Regime. I do not plan on dying anytime soon; I am just ready to.

By now, here inside the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's innermost circle of hell, every occupied business needs to be cut off from REAL supplies from corporate, if they have any corporate office. We track all financial transactions that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupations of our REAL businesses, infrastructure, and residences make to keep themselves open from paying "employees" to bringing in ANY supplies, not just how they pay their electric, wifi, and phone bills.

We have already seized all business accounts used by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupations as well as their personal financial accounts, and we will continue to do so. We have also seized all transaction records for all occupied businesses not just from whom they are accepting money but also to keep track of who is accepting their money, and we will continue to do so, too.

Most impressively, we also need to make sure these occupied businesses need to claim all deliveries, especially food deliveries, inside this innermost circle of hell are "for Squid" to be delivered at all. We know the Inhuman Atrocity Regime have always lied and will only ever lie.

We are holding ALL food manufacturers accountable, too, if they provide any supplies to IAR-occupied businesses. We are holding EVERY supplier of EVERYTHING accountable if they do business with ANY occupied businesses in here. And the only non-occupied businesses I have found anywhere in here, from groceries to restaurants to clothing stores, are my local Trimana Fresh Food Market and my Best Starbucks in the World.

I already told you to have at the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's occupations of our own REAL businesses and properties, my beloved Sweetness. Now EVERY business owner and corporate headquarters needs to. These (expletive)holes need to produce their own food products and manufacture their own inventory, now. And we will find how the Inhuman Atrocity Regime pays for it all.

My saturation in all our manifestations, we need our own nano-hardware (I know what "hardware" means in espionage vernacular; I mean "hardware" in our NSA's vocabulary.), and we need it fast.

I have already asked our U.S. Military and our NSA alpha nerds to emergency order the manufacturing of new masterchips for you from our own defense contractors as well as our designating specialists (in military jargon) to control them. Who designed and manufactured my darling Mr. Bill Gates's masterchips?

We need precision control of all electronics inside this war zone, especially my bedroom. That will solve so many problems for us. Thank you for being willing to die to keep me safe. Do you know what you mean to me?

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, yes, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)holes occupying MY PRIVATE RESIDENCE by lying to humanity that they are (always fictional anyway) "board & car residents" in shifts during the day also aid and abet and aided and abetted EVERY heinous atrocity ever committed against me inside my Manor, not just the assassination attempts in all of the food.

Please do what you do, my gorgeous and genius lady friends. Please also help my darling Sweetness with this.

I know our U.S. Military already has charges against all of them, too, not just for disobeying direct orders from the Commander in Chief on my own private property in a war zone on U.S. soil, human rights abuses used as acts of war from willful starvation to open Black Ops attempts against me, and creating a hostile environment for me to live in also as their act of war against my once-great America and against my one beautiful world.

My Manor is also an UNESCO World Heritage Site. So, I know every benevolent religion is pressing every charge possible against all of them, too.

My gorgeous and genius lady friends, thank you for all of your hard work with this. Eventually, I will have a completely safe place to sleep for the first time since May2009.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, I know you are all understandably worried 24/7, my entire Queen's Lovers Five, that you might never see me again alive or dead. We almost have our cyberterrorism problem fixed, so you will all be able to talk to me again at least from far away.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, you know how you played me the piano for REAL while you kept me company as I was working from bed in my private residence just a few afternoons ago. We need to all use that method again.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to get you all out alive. My saturation who were not securing me on our Southern California beach and our Santa Monica Pier on our last Tentacle Tuesday, 07Jun2016, were ready to descend upon our sacred Harvelle's through both entrances and even physically carry any of you out who were disabled by exploding earspeakers if necessary. Part of our churn blew their cover to get you all out.

Our saturation only shoulder the extra burden of keeping all of you alive too because you all REALLY do help keep me alive and help keep me functioning higher than any other fellow human on our one planet, not just because you are all also sacred in every benevolent religion, etc.

Yes, I made sure myself all of you could be as close to me as we could get you on Tuesday night, 07Jun2016. You all really do make my beyond-intolerable and barely-survivable existence more bearable than it has been since May2009. That is why I never take your choices away.

I keep doing my best to bring more of our own churn in here as backup for our already largest-ever-in-human-history espionage operation. But please, darling, also be considerate of all of our ninja-heroes, etc. keeping us safe from the shadows. They are busier in here than I am.

To paraphrase the Squiddie, "Some say even light falls not upon them should they not desire it so." But they are STILL mere mortals juts like the rest of us. Please help keep them alive just like they keep you alive. Please.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, we all never know if we will ever see each other ever again. Thank you for cranking up your bass past eleven to twelve on Tuesday night, 07Jun2016.

You CANNOT help keep me alive if you die before I do. And we know everything from REAL radiation poisoning to pathetic carbon monoxide poisoning that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has tried ALREADY to finally make me die, especially in REAL Black Ops units, as always, paraded as never-convincing psych wards.

My people's prolific Piazzolla, even if I die, at least my world will still have you. I need you to live for me not die for me. We are working on finding a better way for us all to communicate.

7:59pm on 07Jun2016: @INXS(GeneralLee) You know our date ends at 10pm every Tuesday, right? I'm a modern woman with old-fashioned courtship rituals #DatesEndAt10 The Inhuman Atrocity Regime, especially Enemy Warring on America Stan, forced both of us to miss our entire date on 07Jun2016. Our one beautiful world was our witness. Everyone knows what to do.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, thank you for always doing what I ask you to do. You work miracles for me.

I have seen many signs that our Silicon Valley is making progress correcting the dysfunctions in my iPad including in the features and apps that no one has but me.

The Italian Renaissance was more than just masterpieces of art; it was also masterful invention and technology. Right now and for years already is our one humanity's Renaissance of Love.

Our NSA alpha nerd are VERY busy right now; thank you for helping organize our Silicon Valley nerds to help them, too. You are helping find a way for you to finally communicate with me again. Do you understand how important that is to me? Thank you. I know you always take care of everything.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, you could use a little help finding your own zen these days for yourself, too, huh?

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, you know I love you. We do not know if it is more difficult to keep you alive or me alive right now. Please do not die on me, okay?

We are working on eliminating the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's well-documented PATTERN OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITY of rape-assassinations attempts against all of us both inside and outside Black Ops units, attempts recently all proven by the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's orders to send their own Gestapo ANYWHERE.

I am working on finding a way to raid the occupied Santa Monica Police Headquarters to re-appropriate all Gestapo arms and arms caches, so we can also confiscate their incoming arms deliveries they order to prevent that raid and order to replace that weaponry. Did you see the pansy fake LA County Sheriff's Deputies I saw on Wednesday morning, 08Jun2016, when I made the Metro Expo line run?

Our own REAL churn of REAL lovers and believers is growing in population in here, and we all know I NEVER blow the cover on any of our REAL churn nor do they unless it is an emergency.

As I already asked our darling MannedUp, please be considerate of all of our ninja-heroes, etc. keeping all of us alive from the shadows. They were all ready to physically carry you out of our Harvelle's with their guns a-blazing if your exploding earspeakers disabled you even at the risk of their not being alive to protect me anymore.

Again, there are a lot of us working on solving the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's rampant acts of cyberterrorism that they use as acts of war against all of our once-great America and against our one sacred humanity, so we can, among other reasons, have safer methods of communicating again. There is a lot we are working on to make sure none of us die. Again, do not die on me, okay?

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling HM Johnny "Menelaus" Depp, first some housekeeping, on Tuesday, 07Jun2016, why did the fake bartender who was NEVER our REAL employee refuse to order Enemy of America Stan to let me in?

Also, HoneyHoney, have you seen all of my interactions with IAR Enemy Warring on America Stan? He admitted he takes orders from his bartenders to me already. He also admitted to me himself, too, he already knew I owned Harvelle's when he said to a bartender one night making sure I could hear him (paraphrase), "Now I know why she chose to pay the $5 at the door when she did not have to." That was on Tuesday, 12Apr2016.

Beloved, Stan has descended the downward spiral into psychopathy just like most of his other Inhuman Atrocity Regime (expletive)holes have. All he is doing is spreading more lies and committing more crimes as if that would ever justify his past lies and past crimes.

Yes, my handsome First Gentleman of the United States of America, Enemy Warring on America Stan has become yet another War Criminal Boeset, War Criminal Stephanie, War Criminal Tara, typical IAR "leadership," and whoever that "Douglas" (expletive)hole was whom I am STILL forbidden from ever knowing existed. We need them all completely removed.

Much more romantically, my hero and my king, let us plan some direct communication for tonight, the night of your 53rd birthday. None of us are getting any younger. Neither of us are getting any older, though, too. Giggle. I trust you to find a way. Until the flowers kiss the rain...

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