Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wake me up When it is Over.

I know I am winning, but this victim-of-Obama-and-his-conspiracy thing is really getting old. Sweetness, if you are listening, let's just disappear into the night. With my spy equipment removed and a haircut, I could blend in anywhere with brown people. I am ready to get out of here. The world will be fine without me for a while... That is unless you feel like getting me a satellite modem, so I can keep Obama in line. That is your choice. Sadly, I still need a lift to get out of here. My father stole control of my money quite illegally. He is such a criminal.

As for you, Israel, stop being a warmonger. I love the Jewish people, so I need the world to understand that you do not represent all followers of the Jewish faith. Jews are not warmongers. Israel is, though. You, Israel, are a tantrum driven child who commits human rights violations in Gaza when you do not get your way. Iran is defiant because it has nothing to lose. You have nothing to complain about until you get rid of your own nuclear weapons. Israel, you have no moral ground to stand on. Stop ruining the world for the rest of the Jews.

The people around here in Iowa have really warmed up as of late. No, I do not mean just the weather. But people have actually been nice to me lately. They absolutely terrorized me in April, May, and June 2009 that last time I was in the Des Moines area. (I was here for only 2.25 months. I have not been an Iowa resident since 2008.) But now they seem to have come around. They are so much sweeter than the British. Okay, that is not saying much. They are genuinely sweet to me, now, though.

Speaking of the British, the Royal Family and I get along just fine. It was one of the lies propagated by the cruel and libelous British media that we did not like each other. I think the Queen and family are pretty damn cool, and considering her day job is kicking the British government into line, it is no wonder that we were both under attack. I do not know why so many people are worried over Kate being ruined by royal life. She looks like the kind of woman who can keep a grounded balance, and I hope to see her enjoying some of the benefits of being the future Queen of England as soon as possible. She might have a little toughening up to do in some areas, but she should have the luxury of going soft in others.

I am on a march to get this over with by March 9th. After that, it is time to hunger strike. Three months of living with my criminal father is long enough. Things are getting ugly if I am abandoned here longer than that. I need my human rights, and I needed them in 2009. Obama, get your head out of your ass and do your job.

Your job starts by reading the U.S. Constitution and learning that you are supposed to be DEFENDING human rights not removing them. If you have problems with the big words (and considering what little you understand of your job, you must), please consult the judicial branch for help. It is their job to interpret the Constitution, not yours. I know you would rather be a dictator with omnipotent powers over Americans, but for now your title is still president... and you are legally obligated to defend the Constitution. You owe me 2 years of human rights, and I plan on collecting.

Sweetness, I need to touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain. Let's get out of here.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

In the News...

This is my second blog post today.

The Oscars are on in just less than two weeks. It sounds like a party this year... even if most of the big name movies are depressing. That happens every year, though, doesn't it? You cannot make a happy movie, in most cases, and expect it to be taken very seriously. I hear "The King's Speech" has a happy ending.

It seems the women of Italy have spoken. Congratulations, ladies, on work well done. Now, let us hope justice prevails. Women are equals, not objects... nor (as in my case) disposable.

Iran, you cannot have a government without the support of the people. The people are speaking. The government needs to listen. Being power-hungry will not get you anywhere... Being responsible will.

Tunisia, you just won a revolution. Why are you fleeing? Why are you not building the government of your dreams instead? You have a chance to fix the problems in Tunisia in a way the serves the people. Do not shirk your responsibilities now.

It looks like George "G-Dub" Bush, Jr. has bribed himself a scapegoat for starting one of the longest wars in which the US has ever been engaged. They say money talks. I prefer to say money lies. Do not let G-Dub off the hot seat for his wrongs. There is no better time for holding war criminals responsible than now.

Similar in theme, Obama the Oppressor does not plan on giving me my human rights until he can find a scapegoat and lame excuse on which to sell the public. Do NOT let him get away with it. End this now. Do not give Obama the Ass enough time to fabricate a way out for himself. That is what he is waiting for.

My Beautiful World, please also do not stop supporting those that support me. I know it is hard to find a way to help me directly, but helping those that can get help to me does wonders. I know you are all out there doing everything you can. It is time, though, to kick things up a notch.

I know that Obama the Oppressor is feeling pressure from inside the US (California, you are one of my heroes.), but I am wondering about the pressure other countries put on him. How many world leaders out there always wanted to tear a US president a new asshole? This is your chance. France, I know you are listening. If you act out of love, the repercussions are only love.

If the population of the world, including the US, says they have had enough with President Incompetent persecuting me, he will actually be forced to set me free. China, Russia, Argentina, the EU, (The Middle East is a little busy right now.) the United States, and all of Africa, just to name a few, we all know you love me. May I ask you for help? May I ask you to write a letter to the White House or make a phone call or send Obama an email? I do not need you to take to the streets for me, but you as people of the world can do so much if you just make your voice known. I need your help. Please.

Sweetness, whatever you are doing, keep doing it. We are so close to having this ended... I can even feel your heart next to mine sometimes as I fall asleep. I am doing all I can to make sure you have help. I love you.

President Incompetent and Some Local Wildlife...

I saw Obama the Oppressor was on television trying to defend his budget today. I hope no one fell for his double talk and gibberish. Come on! He is also known as President Incompetent. Did anyone really think he could write a budget plan to which anyone would agree? Let us all be glad he did not try overcompensating for his own inadequacies with a bigger budget than he should have tried selling. Wait, according to Republicans, that is exactly what he did. Poor dysfunctional Obama the Oppressor! All he knows how to do is commit human rights violations.

I was watching Sesame Street this morning. It is how I keep my edge. I still do not know how I feel about the new formatting, but I love the new set. All neighborhoods grow and change, why not Sesame Street? The Count was on today. I always liked the Count... no, not just because I am a math nerd. But we have a lot in common... We both like numbers... We are both Libras... We can both make lightning on demand. I would love to see him in an Interview with a Vampire spoof.

Right now I am sitting at the table in the corner of my childhood bedroom typing these notes to posterity and the world with my balcony doors wide open. I am trying to urge some of the lady bugs who cohabitate with me to fly free and make their way in the world. I do not know if you have noticed, but there are a lot of lady bugs who live in this room. "Oh, little lady bugs! Finishing school here is over! Go be free ladies in the world!" What can I say? They must like me. I am pretty sure their colony lives in my patio doors. "Little lady bugs! Fly free! The door is open! Go find aphids and feed your young!"

We are having a mid-February melt for the next few days. It looks like that groundhog was right. I made some coffee and stood in the window downstairs to get a little sun and this is what I found in the yard.
Okay, there is the occasional bright spot to living here. But it is far overshadowed by the lack of human rights and having to endure my father's presence.

Sweetness, for the vast majority of my life, I had too much fear of commitment to get a tattoo. In late 2009 when I decided I was ready to commit, I knew I was ready for my first ink. I still do not have one, but I have finally decided what I want. I want a stem of pink orchids (just like the one I used to wear for you behind my left ear) on the back of my left leg and ankle. Well, its my first tattoo; why not go big? Orchids on the left... I definitely need orchids on the left.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Night!

Sweetness, I am already dreaming of you. I could taste your lips already as I fell asleep alone last night. Bring the car around and pick me up just as soon as you are able. I cannot wait to be with you, my darling husband, the Mr. Johnny Depp a.k.a. my Mr. Love-of-my-Life. I can see our future together, and it is nothing but brightness and glory. With all my heart (that you already possess), Squiddie.

Do you not Care about Freedom?

This is my second of three posts for the day.

Who is next Yemen, Bahrain, Libya, Algeria, or anywhere else? Iran, I see you are in there, too. Democracy is sweeping through North Africa and the Middle East. What is Obama doing? Obama is committing human rights violations. He is oppressing the American people and openly persecuting me. Democracy is alive and kicking. Human-rights-driven people's revolutions are ripe and being harvested while the supposed leader of the once free world is committing human rights violations. At least someone out there listens. Americans have not yet brought about their own people's revolution for their own human rights. Americans, do you not care about the United States of America? Do you not want this to be a free country again? The Islamic nations are better at this than you are.

I believe in gender equality. I should not have to present myself to the world as a man in order to be taken seriously in what I do in this world. I can be a girl and successful at the same time. It is one thing, though, to raise self-confident girl children who not only can and do work with and compete head-to-head with boys, but it is another thing to raise boy children to respect girls as equals. We cannot do only half of the work by raising strong women. We also have to raise men to believe in gender equality. I put blame where blame is due, and so much of this could have been fixed long ago if men had just been raised to be respectful of women.

I made jambalaya the other day courtesy of Zatarain’s™. It was mighty delicious. I have long loved New Orleans and have pondered moving there on many the occasion... you know, get a little place with garden in one of the neighborhoods and really invest in my community. It feels like the sort of place where you really invest in your community... know your neighbors... share cucumbers from your gardens... that sort of thing. I am so glad to see that their recovery from Hurricane Katrina has a long-term plan. They are really building institutions to last down there. I worry, though, about how they will survive the rising ocean levels. Is there a plan yet for keeping our heritage and culture safe in New Orleans?

This, I think, speaks for itself.


This one might seem a little random, but I care: I am all for alternative medicine, but this is ridiculous. Is there any mysticism in any indigenous religions that can protect the rhinoceros? There is no medical reason to keep poaching them.

Okay, there is only one post left for today...!

About Cameras and Hating Me...

I hear some people out there hate me. Since I am not allowed to know what the lies are people tell about me, I have no idea why people I have never met hate me. Please, lovely readers, continue to publicly call out slanderers. There seems to be some sort of polarized view of me because of all these lies. Well, regardless of whatever your opinions are of me, can you conclude that I am a human being? Surely, you cannot argue over whether or not I am a human. And as a human, I deserve my human rights. As human beings, you all deserve your human rights. End the persecution and oppression. Stand up. Organize. And refuse to comply. This is not just about me.

As for cameras, unless you stand up to Obama the Oppressor and insist on acknowledging to my face that I am famous, you do not get to photograph me. If you are going to just go along with being oppressed instead of standing up for yourself, you cannot take my photograph. You will, in fact, only incite my ire if you keep sticking cameras metaphorically (and literally) in my face. End this bullshit, and you will have my permission to follow me around with cameras. Until then, you do not get to act as though I am famous. Stand up for yourselves. Organize. And refuse to comply.

As for people using my image against my will, and I hear that many special effects were applied to pornography and other mischief to defame me, that is illegal for a reason. It not only ruins my Squid brand, but it is also libel and slander. When am I allowed to press charges? Oh, wait, the president does not want charges pressed against him, so I am not allowed my human rights. Obama, you are so transparent. You are so scared of justice that you make me live persecuted. I hear it is catching up with you and catching up with you quickly. I wonder where Russia stores its war criminals... I doubt we would put you in Guantanamo.

Oh, hey, do you all remember when Obama tried moving all of the Guantanamo detainees to a prison run by a friend of his near Chicago? That was near Christmas 2009. However, the Nigerian Christmas plane bomber forced Guantanamo to stay open. I think Obama has seen his future imprisonment coming for a long time.

Yes, I watched the Grammys last night. I was a damn good show. My mom did not know who anyone was but Nora Jones. It was adorable. Thank you all for all of the well-wishing! I am sorry they had to keep bleeping you all out. THERE WERE MUPPETS!

As for the people from the unknown number who keep calling here and hanging up, just leave a message. There is no way to trace the call to you. Just get to the voicemail and speak your mind. You had the skill to get my parents' landline number; now use it. Call in from your unknown and nontracable number and speak your mind. This used to be a free country! Why not act like you want your freedoms back?

As a final tidbit before I go... Aquafina has cleaned up its water, but the HyVee brand of "purified drinking water" that my parents buy in 1 gallon containers and refill at the store still has crap in it. Start fixing your drinking water HyVee. I prefer to support local businesses; stop drugging the public.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Eets... again...

I live here (in my tower) against my will. My father perjured himself to take control of my money in order to confine me to living here. Never get that wrong. I am my father's victim. He must be held accountable.

Do you remember when I asked you to speak with NASA? Well, have you also spoken with Mexicana Airlines yet about my flight a year ago to Mexico City? There were some shenanigans at SFO - San Francisco airport about getting me on a flight at all. They took care of me admirably. They were told I had to have a special meal, though, on the first leg to GDL - Guadalajara. The meal was made on US soil and given to them to give me; it made it feel like death was crawling through my veins. I took one bite and took it off the plane with me. It eventually exploded in fit of goo and chemicals in a plastic bag in my leopard print purse. There were many shenanigans in GDL about my connecting flight to MXC - Mexico City. They seemed to think I should have been DOA and kept booking me on flights that did not really exist after seeing my passport. I finally, thanks to Mexicana Airlines' graciousness, did make it to Mexico City, though. They would be good people to talk to.

Another good person to talk to is Prof. Stephen Hawking. He knows things. And I do not just mean the secrets of the universe, either. Take good care of him. If you can convince him to trust you, he can tell you about the dark side of mankind and men in power. Sorry to out you as an all around swell guy, Prof. Hawking. With full faith that this will all end soon, I would love to take you out for a spin on the red carpet someday... and dancing.... maybe a spin around the dance floor if you are willing. Let me know.

And as for you, Egypt... Congratulations on your bright future and on work well done! Now, do not stop until you have built the government you want. You can have anything you want right now. Choose your government and your leaders carefully. Take good care of yourselves.

To revisit an old post... We should discuss Eets. Eets is a computer game with a little Eets-guy walking through it. You need to get Eets through the contrived landscape and to the puzzle piece, but you cannot control Eets. You can only control Eets's environment as a way to hopefully control Eets. You can make whales chew him up and spit him out. You can explode walls with little pigs. You can change Eets's mood by controlling what marshmallow he eats. You can light up his path with glowing incandescence. You can even bonk him in the head with ginseng until he is ticked off... But you cannot give him commands. This has been my life since early 2009.

They cannot control me. They hate me because even with speakers in my ears screaming commands they cannot control me. So, they have done all they can to control my environment in order to control me. Tell Sarah Palin that 'blood libel' honestly does apply to many things I have lived through, but that is just the beginning. They have torn through populations with no regard for human suffering. I have seen devastation in San Francisco, Mexico City, and the UK that no one anywhere should ever have to endure. Have you heard of the ThunderDome around Wigan in the UK? Liverpool had no more of a sense of reality, and as far as I can tell, still does not. Mexico City was a playground for mind control and brainwashing. They must be held accountable.

Do you remember the scene in the new Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law where Sherlock is sitting in the restaurant alone watching people? I have those moments. I have moments where everything connects with everything, and the big picture becomes obvious from random details. Would it not be nice if you could have my help to end this? Would it not be nice if investigators could consult me on how to call out the guilty parties? Well, give me my human rights, and you will see just how bright I can shine. End this bullshit already. You know you need my help.

Sweetness, I learned that there are people left in this world who do not know we are married. If people insist on gossiping, why do they want to sound like idiots when they do it? The public needs to get to the truth. The truth will set them free. Oh, and I mailed your last object for Valentine's Month yesterday, so expect it Monday or Tuesday. I love you more than words can bear. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!