Friday, October 2, 2009

Gandhi's Birthday

I was awakened this morning from a tenuous sleep because my heart was pounding pounding pounding, my body was shaking, and something was coursing through my veins.  The voices in my head told me that as I slept yesterday in the late afternoon and early evening enough timed-releasable cocaine had been shoved into my body to kill me with an overdose this morning.  I am very grateful they failed.  It is hard to fight an enemy that even your friends will not acknowledge.  Just like, it is hard to learn a truth that even your family will not tell you.  The only way I have to fight an invisible evil is to never let it hurt me, to never let it ruin me, and to never never never let it stop me from seeing, living, and experiencing all that is beautiful in this world.

There is no end to what I can accomplish. And the more that the invisible evils harm me, the easier it becomes. This world will never be mere sorrowful, miserable ugliness so long as am here. And should that something kill me, all my dreams will force themselves true upon this world. Should that something kill me, my beauty will live forever, and the world will break under the heel of all the fantastic and wonderful things I want for it.

Even if this be mere paranoia and delusions of grandeur, at least they are beautiful and want nothing but love in this world.

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