Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Last Three Nights Followed by Today

Three nights ago, I felt my heart stop while I was sleeping. I have no idea how many people have lived through such a thing. It hurt. There was no sharp pain in my left arm, so I knew it was not a heart attack. It hurt until I noticed it was my heart. I don’t know how to explain it. The voices in my head claimed that they were trying to intentionally slow my heart to kill me and how dare I actually retain any control over my own body. I actually felt my heart physically stop. It felt like a lifetime before I could start it again, but for all I know, it was as instantaneous as the thought, “Oh, hey, my heart just stopped. That’s what that is. Well, I hope it starts again, soon.” Really, that is all I did to start it again.

Two nights ago, I was physically attacked in my sleep again. I am still working the things they left in me back out of my body again. All the tell-tale signs were, as usual, present. What else was there to do? I made myself beautiful yesterday morning and went out to enjoy the gloriousness that is life. Living well is the ultimate revenge. Okay, I did that, AND I spent hours downloading human rights treatises and declarations off of various websites most of them associated with the United Nations. Has anyone else heard of ICTY and Rule 96? Or know that human rights include not only political, civil, social, and economic rights (among others) but also silly things like basic dignity and freedom from torture and slavery?

Apparently, living well worked. I actually managed to lure myself a cuddle bunny for the night. Yes, all we did was cuddle. Don’t start reading projected innuendo into my statements. Luckily, or maybe subconsciously strategically, my choice of snuggle bunny guaranteed that I was not attacked in my sleep last night. Yeah, he was snuggly.

Not so long ago, I interrupted my “walk of (misplaced) shame (since I only literally slept with the man)” at the Caffé Trieste where I partook in a delightful trinary conversation before heading home to change into my Halloween costume. Happy Halloween, everybody! Today, I am a glam rock star complete with faux fur and soon to be with Kiss-style Demon makeup in red. Sigh, I meant to stop in the library sooner to post this and check my email, but Gaynor and Vrαnαs distracted me with yet even more delightful conversation before I could breakaway from MELT! and venture the extra block and a half down Columbus to do this. YEY! I hope the glitter in my hair doesn’t get all over everyone tonight, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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