Sunday, July 12, 2015

My Mom is in Town.

Title: My Mom is in Town.

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. I cannot control how many horrible things happen to me in one day; it is Obama who controls that. So, if I wait too long between posts, they become too drenching.

Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. My mother will be in town until tomorrow morning.

ISIS. They are a terrorist organization that I believe I can talk to. They want to establish a caliphate to run the world. They do what they do for power and influence.

Earlier this year, ISIS offered Enemy of America Obama a prisoner exchange for me. I did not ask ISIS for help, but Obama could have saved the lives of at least two Japanese men if he would have been willing to just give me human rights.

Because of this, I believe I can talk to ISIS. The way to conquer the world is by seducing humanity not by killing people and definitely not by fighting whom you need to love you. I learned this by just being me.

My last blog post was published at 9:20am on 10July2015 just before I started my music and sent my I-am-not-dead-yet selfies. My mom walked into my regular morning haunt to join me at 9:42am. We chatted before I took her to see my place.

We walked from my place to her hotel at 10:10am. Then, we had lunch at a local Americanized Chinese food restaurant. Their Kung Pao Chicken was delicious!

Next, my mom bought me a HUGE package of maxi pads since my period had just started. After one more stop at her hotel, we traveled to the Westfield Shopping Centre at Century City.

After an "ice blended" at the Coffee Bean there, the Apple Store proved very helpful, and we shopped at the Macy's. We were back at Mom's hotel room at 3:06pm to nap.

We woke up at 5:10pm, and after even more shopping, we located my darlings Tentacle and were seated on a patio for dinner where we could hear them by 6:17pm. ALL THREE DARLINGS TENTACLE were there. It was glorious.

I did get to meditate for a little while before my mom wanted to head back to the hotel for bed. We were curled up and asleep by 9:30pm. Yes, I am staying in my mom's hotel room while I am in town.

We woke up on 11July2015 at almost exactly 6am to get ready and to eat breakfast. Joyously, I was able to watch the 2015 Wimbledon Women's Final on ESPN in the hotel room. At 7:47am, my darling Ms. Serena Williams was giving her interview after winning.

I just kept drinking coffee and dancing around the hotel room with my mom waiting for my Uncle Sonny. By 10:12am, my mom had taught me the Mambo. At 10:24am, we took a short walk, so my mom could buy me a couple of gift cards but were soon back at the hotel waiting for Uncle Sonny.

It was approximately 11:18am when my Uncle Sonny finally arrived. He had the belongings that The War Criminal Gables had not stolen from me. Needless to say, The War Criminal Gables had stolen everything from my dresses and orange Andean wrap to my Kermit doll from me.

I was nauseous when mostly some fat ugly woman with no fashion sense's belongings were almost all my Uncle Sonny could give me and none of my own REAL belongings at all. Syniva, press full charges for grand theft of my priceless belongings against The War Criminal Gables. We show no mercy to war criminals.

After 12:28pm, my mom, my Uncle Sonny, and I were done having lunch across the street from our hotel and took the bus to the ocean. We walked on the beach and sat under palm trees before traveling to my playland.

My mom bought me a new dress and a military-inspired blazer. I wore the dress out of the store since my mom also broke the zipper on the dress I wore going in the store while I was in the process of trying the new goldenrod dress on.

We walked around my playland and greeted Nick before returning Uncle Sonny to his car at our hotel by 3:06pm. I drank some coffee before we headed back out by 4:54pm. We stopped to look at shoes at the TJMaxx before grabbing some California cuisine chicken quesadilla and carne asada tacos for dinner.

At 6:14pm, we left the restaurant for my playland, so I could look around for my darlings Tentacle. After my mom rhumba-ed her way off a salsa floor, literally, we found them at 6:38pm and stayed with them until they took their break at 7:52pm.

My mom was talking about dessert, but her heart was on more shopping. Eventually, after no new dresses in our size were found, some genius put cheesecake bites on Sumatran coffee frozen yogurt. Who was that genius? That genius was I.

Now, there are easy things to do in this world. For example, it is very easy to get my mother onto a Latin dance floor. But there are difficult things to do in this world, like getting my mother off of a Latin dance floor. My job is to stand nearby and hold her purse. But you should have seen her pachada!

At 10:34pm, we were on the bus back to our hotel. I gave my darlings Tentacle my regrets at having to miss their 10pm set on the way. We were curled up and asleep by 11:30pm.

On 12July2015, I woke up at 7:50am when my mother returned from getting some breakfast. I asked her to put Wimbledon on and found my darling Mr. Novak Djokovic and very darling Mr. Roger Federer caught up in a long tiebreaker in the second set.

I went for breakfast myself before sitting down with my cup of coffee to finish this blog post.

This blog post was published at 9am on 12July2015.

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

Why does international justice matter? This question came from the United Nation's International Criminal Court. International justice means the world stood up and told the people we elected to lead us that his or her crimes against us, their own people, were wrong.

It means someone stood up for us. It means the world stood up for us. Justice means our people can finally heal.

Why did I choose the name "Squid B. Varilekova"? When I was in college, I always wanted to be published under the last name Varilekova-- that is the traditional Czech spelling for a WOMAN with the family name Varilek.

The first name Squid began in 2000 in San Francisco. You should have seen how gorgeous I was in my twenties.

Once, on the bus, a man told the woman next to him he did not want a woman as gorgeous as me because he wanted a woman who would actually treat him well. He clearly knew nothing about how well I treat my menfolk, but I took it as a compliment.

I have the name Squid for many reasons; one reason is to keep me humble. Another is because I move like a sea creature when I dance. Again, there are many reasons.

I chose the middle name Bedlam because of its etymology. It derives from Bethlehem Asylum in London because that is the level of care I always received while labeled mentally ill.

I did not put my married last name on my professional name "Squid B. Varilekova," so no one could refer to me as Squid BVD.

My beautiful world, we need the constant war crime coverups that I am anything but mentally perfect ended already. Please arrest everyone for aiding and abetting war crimes who libels me at all mentally ill only to be able to take human rights away from me and from my people. And thank you.

My selfless support system, you have been very effective keeping me safe. I am again telling Alfred and Bogart everywhere I will be before I go there. Thank you for our system of keeping me safe at all times everywhere I go. I love you, too.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, you are so amazing. Wow, ladies, just WOW! You are the first line of defense protecting me from war crimes, and you do your job 24/7 never failing the world. We all thank you. You are all my hero.

As for my musician-lovers MannedUp and GeneralLee, do you have any idea how much you mean to me?

My darling Mr. Tom "MannedUp" Hanson, months ago you asked me for a duet. You are going to have to write us the song. Click here for the (public domain) lyrics I choose. How is that for romantic?

And, you, my darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, accept your destiny. Once in April2015, I tried telling you what you mean to me. I am pretty good with words, but what bubbled up out of me was,...

"Please accept your destiny. We need to talk. But there are things even I do not know how to say." Then, crying, I left you beside your music equipment with the bad excuse of needing coffee. You just mean so much to me.

Beyond what you mean to me, GeneralLee, I need to explain to you what your future as my Piazzolla will include; accept your destiny.

My symbolic Royal Consorts Bogart and LightFoot both of whom I am forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, yes, dear, I am working on it, but I need your help.

Both of my boyfriends, please reread my 08July2015 blog post. We will only be able to have a REAL relationship if you negotiate it into your contracts to be with me. The best I can do since no one ever negotiates with me is send you help negotiating.

And remember, LightFoot, I chose you.

Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today? Never forget that you are the only king in my kingdom.

HoneyHoney, have you seen how good my mother looks? She hates when I tell people how old she is (but she was born in 1946). I look just like she did at my age; I am just taller.

Darling, my mother now is what I will look like as the grandmother of your generations of descendants. Let us pray I can dance at least half as well at her age.

Speaking of grandkids, beloved, my mom wants some. That is your job. I have ever been pregnant in my life... yet. That will change, I assume, once I can touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain. Yes, beyond-handsome, yes, I WILL.

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