Too Loud to Sleep

Yesterday’s activities consisted mostly of drinking coffee at Vesuvio courtesy of my bartender friend Tony, expanding my noggin at the library courtesy of global climate change, lunching at MELT! courtesy of the gracious Gaynor, and athletically dancing to amazing music at the Saloon courtesy of the Bachelors. It was a fantastic day that led straight into a wonderful evening. I just wish I could be more chipper today that I actually am.


As the song goes… “I couldn’t sleep at all last night.” The voices in my head kept me awake until I resorted to playing music to put myself to sleep. Thank the heavens above that my old friend Patrick Liddell sent me his (at the time) newest CD/DVD, audio/video, music experience a few months back. It’s not that his projects are in the habit of putting me to sleep, but I needed something soothing to help me drift away.

It is odd, I must admit, being (alphabetically) Asian, Hispanic, Pacific Islander, and White all at the same time. I think my Czechapina heritage is a healthy mix that has left me genetically predetermined for madness, resistance to sunburn, immunity to still undiscovered diseases, possessing skills at modern (completely interpretive yet slightly Latin) dancing, an obsession with both science fiction and professional tennis, an addiction to microwave popcorn, intellectual ease with mathematics, and who knows what else I have yet to discover about myself.

The most worrisome thing about my ethnic background, though, is my face’s inability to age itself. In a society where a youthful appearance is so treasured, I know this is the last thing I should be complaining about; however, wisdom and knowledge comes with age, and with wisdom and knowledge comes respect. I would rather be known for having a strong mind and an unstoppable wit than for having the face of a teenager here in my thirties. It is a source of ire for me, honestly, that people can only see the surface when they meet me. I think. I write. I theorize. I analyze. I create. I wear the face I grew for myself with pride, yes, but if I could, I would rather wear my soul. If bourbon and makeup can’t age me, I’ll find something that will… as long as it is physically painless. I’ve had enough pain for a lifetime.