I Will Put my iPad Down When I am Dancing.

Title: I Will Put my iPad Down When I am Dancing.

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. I am still a political prisoner inside a realityless "egg" that there has never been an excuse for existing in the first place. Please make sure no one comes in here with me without functioning smartphones and mobile devices they can use to call for help.

The Inhuman Atrocity Regime has escalated so far that there is no façade of normalcy left anywhere.

I know that my local to global law enforcement have no way of getting in here at all to bring law and order finally, so I am asking them all to secure my Metropolis of Angels out there. Please make sure my people in my Los Angeles County have a way to verify all government IDs and badge numbers. Thank you.

The only two things we have left to do is secure me where I am and remove the entire Inhuman Atrocity Regime from the face of our beautiful Earth. Everything else is done.

[Again, I am all the REAL news and the greatest global crisis. Thank you, everyone everywhere, for keeping up.]

My last blog post was finished at 1am on Sunday, 27Mar2016, "Easter Sunday." I slept watched by my darling international and domestic "bad boy types" and, hopefully, my entire beautiful world. I was not very groggy when I woke up at 8:32am but did not make it out of my hallway until after breakfast.

There were very few people in my Manor that morning to say, "Hello!" to, and there were also very few people at my local Burger King when I stopped inside to buy as many calories per dollar as I could.

It had become very clear to me already that there was no caffeine anywhere inside the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's "egg." I was outside the Pico Branch Library by 9:43am singing to myself and working online. The sky was cloudy and the air was cool.

My darling internet gnomes played me Hit the Lights by my darlings Metallica. My morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies were delayed due to non-benevolent hackers in my iPad camera and iPad battery again.

I left the library at 10:32am and then returned to my Manor to check on my population there. I did a little work online from my bedroom until lunch at 12noon. Please consult my verified Twitter archive for most of my work that morning.

I sat where I normally sit in our dining hall among my darlings as we ate together. After lunch, I waited in my bedroom working online more as my iPad battery finally recharged. Most distressingly, there were still terrorist (expletive)es in my hallway with absolutely no permission from me. "Who let the Philistines in my temple of love?"

My early afternoon activities included a brief online chat with my darling Mr. Finn "Alfred" O'Mahoney. Please ask my darling Alfred if he feels like sharing our full and verified chat archive with the world. And thank you.

I have never once claimed to be a counselor nor a psychologist, and I would NEVER take money for offering emotional support to my loved ones (the way dirty attorneys take money to aid and abet war crimes). I care about my loved ones, so I always have time for them and their problems, assuming they tell me what is wrong.

I finally left my place to take the bus to downtown Santa Monica just after 2pm. The first place I checked on was the Best Starbucks in the World. For once, the employees did not look terrorized, but I asked corporate to check on them regularly anyway.

I spied with my little eye my darling MannedUp alone on the corner of Arizona, so I asked my beautiful world to check on all three of my darlings Tentacle.

I tried to finally get an eyebrow wax but my not-a-chain regular beauty salon was closed for Easter. I also checked on the only two mobile phone stores I knew of inside IAR territory, but, among other messages I received, their corporate offices told me they needed an extra day to get their inventory in.

I was perched right next to my darling MannedUp by 3:52pm working online as he banged his drum loud enough to be a unifying heart rhythm. I stood beside him on the sidewalk as he did his REAL job until 4:54pm when I left to buy myself some dinner at my local Trimana Fresh Food Market.

As is our culture in America, I ate my dinner as I walked down the sidewalk to my local REI flagship store. I normally only visit my local REI on Tuesday nights while I wait for Harvelle's to open, but it was worth an off-schedule trip.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals beginning as I finished my dinner outside the front door of my local REI and ending after I walked out the door. As always, please exclude my time on the toilet. And, thank you!

I walked past my local Patagonia store, too, to make a note of the windbreakers in their window before perching next to my darling MannedUp on the corner of Arizona yet again. Leaning against the same wall, MannedUp and I just hung out showing each other love without speaking to each other until I left to watch the news.

I seduced a second refill on my venti Pike's Place Roast out of my darling barista at the Best Starbucks in the World; we all know no one can resist my charms. Giggle. We are so lucky I use my irresistible powers for good instead of evil. Still giggling. And I perched at a table next to my favorite Starbucks to work online.

I tried streaming the NBC Nightly News from previous in the morning online at 7pm, as is my regular date with my NBC News Team, but it seems they had no news broadcast that day.

My darling Patricia stopped by my table while I was working online. Then, I returned to my darling MannedUp before 8pm and, just because he asked nicely, put on a public display of guarding him.

There was a lot going on that night; a lot of people all over the planet including inside IAR territory with me were catching up and following through. My darling MannedUp and I spent the rest of universal Sunday night date night hanging out, goofing off, and pretending we were not talking to each other.

I finally walked from the right side of my darling MannedUp at 10:31pm to chat a little further down the Promenade with my darling Michael, the conspiracy theorist, and to observe my darling TambourineKicker as he did not play music while right beside his fully-arranged equipment.

I made a visit to the private property of some of my darlings for some large hand-cut fries. My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals beginning the moment I walked in the glass double doors of my local Steak'N'Shake and ending the moment I walked out. And thank you.

11:01pm on 27Mar2016: @SteaknShake Strange things afoot at the Circle K. The (expletive) in braids is the most suspicious. You know what to do. @DeptofDefense

After sitting among sordid darlings at my bus stop for a bit, I finally caught the 11:48pm bus back to my place. My Manor was a mess when I got there.

To be specific, beyond my regular journalism-as-recon tweeting, there were still two (expletive)es in my hallway with no agreement with me to be there at all. I still slept in the following morning Monday, 28Mar2016, until lunch at 12noon. I noticed that one of my dresses I had only ever worn to a Tentacle Tuesday at Harvelle's was stolen.

My beautiful world, you need to guard me and my Manor better. Please finally remove both EVIL (expletive)es from my hallway. Why is anyone still arguing with me? I have WAY TOO MUCH WORK TO DO to be sleeping in this late.

We have a locked 24/7 bedroom broadcast and SquidStream. At least now no one anywhere can pretend any longer that we do not know what REALLY happens when I sleep. Please finally secure me and my Manor.

I checked in with my personal assistant, my darling Mr. Finn "Alfred" O'Mahoney, before going to lunch...

12:08pm on 28Mar2017: My darling Alfred,

I am going to eat lunch and then call my "Atty." Haroun to confirm our appointment for 10:30am tomorrow, 29Mar2016, before working online and catching up with my television friends in the Pico Branch Library in the afternoon.

After dinner, I will finally get my eyebrow wax; visit the Sprint, Verizon, and Patagonia stores just as I had promised; call my mom at 6pm, watch the news at 7pm, and return to my Manor early enough to do my laundry. Of course, this is just my plan for the day, and we all know I adjust my plans as things change.

Someone needs to tell me why our allies have not mobilized yet. We need to put more guards on my Manor when I am not around as well as while I am here. I NEED BOTH (EXPLETIVE)ES REMOVED FROM MY HALLWAY.

I will try to pick up my dry cleaning tomorrow, but we all know I get so busy.

Remind my darlings Department of Defense and my genius Powers of Attorney to always ask for our hard evidence from my darlings NSA and my darlings CIA when anyone needs to know what happens to me for REAL while I sleep.

No, it is not my Manor stealing from me; it is the (EXPLETIVE)ES in my hallway that I have been trying to remove for a long time now. People need to learn to listen to me.

Love you, darling. Thank you for being the best personal assistant in the world.
--Squidalicious

I left my bedroom for lunch at 12:15pm, and we had tacos and soup. I worked from both the dining room table and my bedroom until visiting the office to take care of some odds and ends. For the good of humanity, we need my bedroom and hallway nanocameras locked 24/7. Trust me. Thank you.

I started catching up with my television friends at 1:29pm. My darlings at CBS were still on hiatus, so I only watched my darling Mr. Trevor Noah and my darling Mr. Larry Wilmore. We were done making each other smile at 2:28pm.

I worked online there at the library until returning to my place.

4:46pm on 28Mar2016: [These are the only things left any of us have to do.] My beautiful world, 1) FINALLY MAKE ME SAFE WHERE I SLEEP, and 2) remove the entire IAR from the face of the planet. World, where are you? Please stop arguing with me. Please stop trying to pick me up and move me somewhere. Please coordinate your efforts. Please arrest everyone everywhere lying and manipulating to permit this atrocity to go on longer. Please finally make me safe in here and remove the entire Inhuman Atrocity Regime.

Dinner at 5pm at my Manor was nothing but (expletive) problem after (expletive) problem. Everyone innocent in that building knows I do not want them there without functioning mobile technology. Every damn (expletive) needs to be forcibly removed from my hallway. But no one ever listens to me. I am being raped and tortured in my sleep and no one gives a damn. Entire world, you need to (expletive)ing show up finally!

I called my mom through FaceTime at 6pm. Then, as planned, I had an eyebrow wax from my normal cosmetologist. After that, as promised, I ran my afternoon errands. The only people in downtown Santa Monica that I could see were REAL employees and war criminal terrorists. Yes, there were at least two genuine smiles waiting for me when I entered my local Sprint store.

Please, my not-human-trafficker nerds, circulate verified and unedited recordings with full audio and visuals of my visits to my local HairZoo, Sprint, Sephora, Verizon, and Trimana stores.

I was just a little late to the Best Starbucks in the World. Yet, yes, I did stream the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online as soon after 8:18pm as I and my benevolent nerds could finagle my iPad into functioning properly.

My nightly cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt himself, and it made me worry that the Inhuman Atrocity Regime's libel-as-war-crime anti-reality machine was still not shut down yet.

Please, my global to local law enforcement, arrest everyone everywhere who demonizes any of the good people fighting the Inhuman Atrocity Regime as well as anyone stalling our mobilization of the full might of our U.S. Military and all of our allies. My Metropolis of Angels is dying, my beautiful world, where are you?

My beautiful civilians outside this closest border, please stop trying to pick me up and carry me out. Please instead coordinate your efforts and take down the Imhuman Atrocity Regime.

(How many times do I have to say this in one blog post?) I am insisting that we permanently lock and stream to the entire planet my 24/7 SquidStream, 24/7 bedroom broadcast, and 24/7 hallway nanocams, so everyone can be close to me by watching me in here doing my REAL job. But please allow your anger and disgust to motivate you into taking down the Inhuman Atrocity Regime. Please. For me.

9:41pm on 28Mar2016: Does someone need to tell me "what is happening in Des Moines right now," or do you want me to never be able to fix it? @IntlCrimCourt

I made a quick trip to my local Von's grocery store for snacks before I left downtown Santa Monica on the 10:28pm bus hoping I could make it back to the my Manor in time to do laundry, but, alas, I was too late. I touched up this blog post before going to sleep.

I slept off and on due to new electrobeam technology. There were people in and out of my hallway against my will all night. I woke up groggy at 7:55am and started working online as fast as possible.

This blog post was finished from my bedroom at 8:44am on Tuesday, 29Mar2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

What is the difference between evolution and adaptation? Evolution is the natural change in the genetics of an entire species generation after generation.

As living creatures in our good, green world, our DNA mutates naturally, and the living creatures with the mutations that best enable us to survive and to thrive in our also-changing environment are the living creatures that survive long enough to reproduce. Evolution is the natural change in an entire species over a long period of time.

Evolution works best the more the species can reproduce because a greater number of children means a greater diversity of living creatures within their species each with different mutations.

Evolution works best through what Christians call, "Be fruitful and multiply."

Adaptation is a single living creature's ability to change to survive in an also-changing environment over a short period of time. Adaptation is not a genetic change in a living creature but a natural response by the biology of the living creature to survive the stresses of its immediate surroundings.

My mostly-lack of body hair, for example, is due to my genetics and is therefore a sign of human evolution. But my rise, my rarification, etc. is my mind and my body's natural response to my hostile environment helping me survive here inside the IAR's "egg" since 2009.

My beautiful world, I understand that all morally good and sane fellow humans out there are all very worried about me in here. So please secure me where I am and take down the Inhuman Atrocity Regime out there. We are all very busy. I am not putting my iPad down until I am dancing. But I do know I need to give you all some time to catch up.

My brave rescuers, did you lock a new bedroom broadcast yet? I choose to broadcast 24/7 my SquidStream (But please never show me on the toilet nor in the shower. I am okay with you showing me in the bathroom now looking in the mirror, etc., though.) my bedroom, and my hallway.

I know you all inside this "egg" need all of our verified broadcasts. My entire beautiful world needs them, too. I know you cannot reveal where your external surveillance of my Manor is located, so please make sure you put new nano in my Manor, the easiest place to catch a war criminal terrorist anywhere in America.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, first, our housekeeping. There is no façade of "normalcy" left in here inside this "egg" with me; the Inhuman Atrocity Regime has just escalated too far. I want all civilians evacuated, including at my Manor, unless they have a way call for help. Thank you for always paying attention.

As for my always repeating myself, no one is so dumb to actually believe I am at all mentally imperfect. All that their compulsive witchhunt and compulsive quackery against me and all who love me has ever been is war crimes. That REALITY is beyond proven now.

We, my gorgeous and genius lady friends, in our REAL role as leaders of our beautiful world are very busy doing our REAL jobs. But we are not as busy as my saturation of metaphorical ninjas inside this IAR "egg" with me nor as busy as my finally-organized benevolent nerds in their counterterrorism cyberwarfare-for-human-good taking down the IAR's web presence of intentionally propagated calumnies that they have always used to heinously manipulate humanity everywhere.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, PLEASE, all of you, stay safe out there. PLEASE, all of you, stop trying to reach me in here.

Yes, as far as I am concerned, it is your choice where you go and what you do, and we all know no one ever listens to me no matter what I do.

PLEASE wait until I can make this enemy territory in which I am political prisoner a safe place for all of us. PLEASE wait until I can negotiate your agreements for being in here. PLEASE.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, about universal Sunday night date night on the starry evening of 27Mar2016 when you had me all to yourself (Giggle.), I had a lot of work to do. Are you able to see everything going on in here?

I am even busier than I used to be. There is still no functioning smartphones nor mobile technology nor any REAL law enforcement anywhere I can see it. I do not think my stores anywhere downtown have been receiving regular inventory in months except for food and water.

With every day that passes in here, the Inhuman Atrocity Regime escalates. My saturation of international operatives need more and more back up. With the thinly-veiled terrorist vs. spy smackdown that is the hidden war in here where I dwell where no one knows whom to trust, I need as few civilians around as possible and definitely none without functioning mobile technology.

Please understand we have no way to keep ourselves safe right now on either side in here and, therefore, no way to keep my civilians safe either. I need you, all of my loved ones inside my Metropolis of Angels, in my REAL house with guards.

I know you all love me and cannot stand being away from me, so watch our dedicated SquidStream and bedroom broadcasts to be beside me from a distance. Also, please find a way for all of you to communicate with me, as clandestine as it may need to be, so we can still touch our fingertips on either end of the aether. Please.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, as I said, as far as I am concerned, Tentacle Tuesday at Harvelle's should be your choice.

I have asked our REAL government departments and agencies from local to global to guarantee you, my darlings Tentacle and my darling MiniMe, safe passage to and from our venue of choice on Tuesday nights should that you choose to play me music. But DO NOT just agree to anything to be able to be near me again. Please.

You all know I believe it is too dangerous for any of you to be in here with me right now. You all know I will always have time for you. And you all know how much I wish I could just have a little time with all of you to myself.

Yes, dear. I am working on it.

And, yes, I know it is a literal war zone out there. But this is NOT a paradise in here. This is a façade. There is so much no one can see in here but me. And that is why the nano-surveillance of this Inhuman Atrocity Regime "egg" must stay.

This is not a city in here. This not a democracy in here. This is enemy territory (yet still under REAL U.S. government jurisdiction) misgoverned and maintained by a non-U.S. regime built by war criminal terrorist enemies of the entirety of humanity who have rendered any and all human rights void for all of us in here.

This is NOT the REAL U.S. government, as official representatives of the people, keeping law and order and serving Americans on U.S. soil; this is the infestation and occupation of our home by a recognized non-U.S.-government war criminal terrorist REGIME choosing to violate U.S. self-sovereignty and self-determination.

But at least we will be able to make an official record of everything they do to all of us in here, so no one can claim they do not know what happens for REAL anymore because the Inhuman Atrocity Regime in all of its heinous self-appointed entitlement to destroy humanity by destroying us refuses, as they have always refused, to treat humans as humans.

From GeneralUlysses to GeneralLee, both on the same side just like Greece and Troy in this unprecedented rewrite-of-history battle for the hearts and souls of humanity, it is not safe in here for anyone. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

But still, as far as I am concerned, Tentacle Tuesday is your choice. Tell me what you all need from me to make our choices possible for you. I am only here to serve.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, when our relationship began, we were "celebrities undercover" walking among the normal people with a façade of anonymity that made the very famous envy us. But look at us now. So much has changed since Thanksgiving2014. These are our new roles, and you do yours very well.

Please make sure the REAL truth of everything happening in our Metropolis of Angels, the REAL truth of everything happening in DC, the REAL truth of everything happening everywhere in my beautiful world, the REAL truth of everything happening here inside this "egg" of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime, and the REAL truth of everything happening in my REAL day-to-day existence reach the entirety of humanity, especially inside every layer of these nested enemy walls.

And thank you.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, you are the one of my Queen's Lovers Five whom I am most worried about right now. Please. Please! PLEASE! Stop trying to reach me. As I already said, please find a way for us to communicate and be close from a distance and wait until I can render this "egg" safe for us, okay? They are STILL escalating.

I will get all of you in here where we can all be together as soon as the Inhuman Atrocity Regime finally gives us the dignity and respect we are due just by being a human on this planet at all and acknowledges that I am REAL and that I REALLY do exist. Trust me. I am working on it.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, do you know what I mean by, "I am not putting my iPad down until I am dancing."?

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Menelaus" Depp, what?!? HoneyHoney, the equipment is inside my body, so it is only mine. But its signal leaves my body, SO IT IS HALF YOURS. I explained that for the first time in Summer2014. And you have never done anything with my SquidStream except what I have asked you to do with it.

Sweetness, it is my choice to lock my SquidStream, my bedroom broadcast, and my hallway nano for the entire world 24/7 just like it is my choice to write a blog and send tweets.

And, HoneyHoney, we all know that the ever-committing-the-worst-crimes-known-to-the-entire-human-race-by-manipulating-and-obfuscating-reality-with-compulsive-lies Inhuman Atrocity Regime only want our safe delivery of the REAL truth about me and their hostile environment around me silenced for no other reason than THIS IS THE TRUTH.

It is very easy, Beloved (Just like "mom" and "Mom," I capitalize it when I use it in place of a name or as a name but not when it is a term of affection.), to identify any member of the Inhuman Atrocity Regime; they are the lesser humans propagating lies as if they were the truth and manipulating everyone into allowing everyone to let them get away with all of it unpunished.

My darling husband, thank you for making sure my entire beautiful world finally knows the full truth about my REALLY busy days and my REALLY horrible nights at last.

My Mr. Love-of-my-Life, The Inhuman Atrocity Regime and I have had an evolving relationship since Jan2009. This is where we are right now and still escalating.

My hero and my king, please make sure every government department and agency worldwide has full access to my 24/7 SquidStream, 24/7 bedroom broadcast, and 24/7 hallway nanocam, not just my globally-critical blog and Twitter account.

Also, Sweetness, please organize my world of epic heroes to finally liberate me and my people here inside the many nested borders of IAR territory.

And last on my list of requests for you to take care of, el Rey Dulce de mi Corazón (Is that accent right or just close enough?), please keep your faith that I will be right here for you to come home to when we are done. Thank you, darling. Thank you for always being one of the few people who always listens to me. Until the flowers kiss the rain...