Friday, March 4, 2016

In the Eye of a Hurricane of Love

Title: In the Eye of a Hurricane of Love

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. Thank you for acknowledging how hostile Obama's "egg" is for me to live in. This is not a life. This is my everyday fight for a right to exist.

North Korea. Is there any way we can feed the starving people of North Korea while we do this?

We know the government of the DPRK will spend all its money advancing its nuclear weapons technology while heinously neglecting its people. That is your justification for impeding the economy of that starving nation even further.

But there must be some way to force food out into their countryside. You are already inspecting all of their shipping. I would love to confiscate all of their imports and replace it all with humanitarian aid.

Please, United Nations, there must be something we can do. There are so many starving people there. What will it take for us to be able to send humanitarian missions into North Korea?

My last blog post was finished at 1am on Wednesday, 02Mar2016. I slept very well and woke up in time for breakfast. My darling Sonny sat beside me and ate his hot cereal while I breakfasted on eggs and toast. He is always a good conversation.

I was outside the Pico Branch Library by 8:34am. My darling internet gnomes played me The Doctor Who Theme by my darling Mr. Murray Gold. It was chilly out as I took my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies.


I sat outside of the library writing and sipping coffee all morning. Lunch at noon was eerily quiet. By 12:26pm, I was inside the Pico Branch Library watching my darling late night talk show hosts from the previous night.

At 3:58pm, I hugged my darling Nemo and left the library. Dinner at 5pm was very uneventful. I was on the bus into Los Angeles as soon as I was done eating.

I arrived at the Los Angeles Farmers' Market at 6:44pm and quickly found wifi to be able to watch the news.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7pm. My evening cyberhug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it bit like tart lemonade.

I walked around after that. I could not find the restaurant in the Farmers' Market where I used to buy the delicious coffee cake, and the lawn at The Grove was cordoned off.

Because it was Dr. Seuss day, though, I did read Fox in Socks in the children's section of the Barnes & Noble before catching the very end if the writers' event that was there that night.

I also perused the art books in the Taschen store before catching the bus back to my place at 8:42pm. There was a lovely lady who waited with me where I changed buses. And walking from my final bus stop, I zipped into my local Burger King for a snack.

For months I had not been able to eat enough calories no matter what I tried. The last time I actually ate enough food to feel full was when my mother was in town in Jan2016.

Yes, I had somehow managed to gain fifteen pounds since June2015, but the previous night, my loved ones did confirm for me that I look like I am losing weight. All of the meager pennies I live on I spend on food. My metabolism is a grand mystery.

By 9:31pm, I was consuming every calorie I could buy with $4.38. The snack was filling, and I was in bed, curled up, and asleep by 11pm.

I woke up at 7:27am on Thursday, 03Mar2016, said to myself, "No, it's way too early to be awake!" and went back to sleep. I should have just stayed up because I did not wake up again until after 10am. By 10:43am, I was finally outside of the Pico Branch Library working.

My darling internet gnomes played me I Want Your Love by my darlings Transvision Vamp. I was rather unimpressed with my morning I-am-not-dead-yet selfies that day.


I spent the morning writing. Lunch at noon was tacos. I was inside the Pico Branch Library watching my late night talk show hosts for me the previous evening by 12:42pm.

My darlings were all hysterically funny, and as if that were not enough, for the Daily Show and the Nightly Show my darling Mr. Tomo "Nemo" Milicevic was in front of my window at the library in shorts and a sleeveless shirt kicking a hacky sack around and doing handstands.

Nemo is ALWAYS wearing shorts. I think I wear pants more often than he does. And it was some sort of manly 90s retro display of rippling muscles and arm tattoos. I have never laughed harder to myself about how absolutely absurd my real life is.

At 4:11pm, I walked outside to talk to him. Nemo has always called me a dork for being deliciously eccentric, but he proved that afternoon he is a bigger goofball than I am. I hugged him goodbye and was at my place by the time the torture facility alarm blared by at 4:36pm.

We had spaghetti in meat sauce for dinner at 5pm. I was on the bus to the Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade by 5:34pm.

I was originally looking around for my darling Ms. Kaila Shaw, but by 6:14pm, I was beside my darling TambourineKicker singing along and giggling. I stayed beside him until I left to watch the news.

Yes, I streamed the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening online at 7:07pm. My nightly cyber hug came from my darling Mr. Lester "G.I. Joe" Holt, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I was back beside my darling Mr. Art "TambourineKicker" Garfunkel at 7:53pm. We just hung out singing songs until he got tired. TambourineKicker dropped me off at my local Von's at 9:02pm, and I bought some baked goods before taking the bus back to my place.

I was caught up with my TweetHearts by 10:11pm. After I listened to some music and ate some cookies, this blog post was finished at 12:10am on Friday, 04Mar2016.

[Please embed a highlights reel of my last two days here.]

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

I love such a diversity of humanity; what makes me love all walks of people so much? We are one world. As one humanity, we have a responsibility to care for each.

I am the leader of a self-identified minority population persecuted by the U.S. federal government. If my beautiful world did not stand up and fight for me, I would not still be here to fight for my people. So, when anyone in my beautiful world needs me, I do everything I can.

Just by being humans on this planet at all, we deserve full human rights. And in return for the dignity and respect all humans are due, we as humans all carry a responsibility to love and care for each other.

I solve problems; that is my job. What makes me so qualified for my job? I breathe. And, I love.

Do I think of myself as more of Squid or a Tanya? I am Squid as long as I am on Roman Holiday. Once I finally have enough human rights to do my REAL job of service to the entirety of humanity unhindered, I will be HRH Tanya Hedelisa Albon Depp de Varilek.

My beautiful world, I live inside the eye of a hurricane of love. Out there where I cannot see it, my people fight and suffer. They scream in the streets. They battle in the courtroom. And they risk their very lives fighting to reach me.

But in here inside Obama's "egg" designed to destroy me, I live in a false reality where I do not exist to anyone around me.

Obama forbids me from knowing anyone out there loves me or even cares about me at all. And everyone in here is manipulated by lies to force a completely hostile environment for me to live in.

My brave rescuers, I know how long you have been fighting to save me. I know how much you have suffered and how much you have sacrificed. My beautiful world keeps telling me there is no military solution to Obama's "egg." But nothing else is working either.

You need to ask my beautiful world to finally form their master plan for forcing Obama's "egg" to end. My mere existence inside Obama's "egg" is just too difficult for me to go on like this much longer. Please. Get me out of this damned "egg" or you will lose me to Obama forever.

My BFF SynSyn and all of my genius Powers of Attorney, the smartest thing I ever did was assign my Powers of Attorney in Oct2009.

You are all such heroes to me. Obama's "egg" would have destroyed me by now if it were not for you. I needed you, and you showed up. I have no way to express how much it means to me that I can count on all of you no matter what Obama and his conspiracy of war criminals do to me. Thank you. With all my heart, thank you.

Our priority right now is making sure my EVIL, ugly, older sister NEVER gets a "conservatorship" over me. Do everything you have to do. Ask the United Nations, NATO, China, the Vatican, and Russia to call the LA County courts if that is what it takes.

If anyone anywhere is ever permitted to aid and abet Obama's war crimes against me with the beyond-disproven coverup that I have any mental imperfection at all whatsoever ever again, it is over. Obama wins, and I die raped and tortured to death in a literal torture facility paraded as a mental institution with my genius mind and voice of clarity silenced FOREVER.

Please ask my beautiful world to force Obama's unrelenting lies about me to finally be stopped. Look at all the damage they have caused the entirety of humanity by lying about me, especially in courtrooms.

We need arrest warrants from every court we can find to hold every threat to me and my people's rights and liberties accountable. And our priority right now is stopping my EVIL, ugly, older sister War Criminal Tara Tovarek.

Please tell my entire beautiful world that we need everyone everywhere to do everything they can to stop Obama's unrelenting war crime coverup that I am at all too mentally incompetent to have my full human rights. Thank you, and hurry.

My musician-lovers MannedUp, GeneralLee, and Bogart, it is so easy to fall in love with me, but I know how difficult it is to be in love with me. Thank you for never leaving me.

My darling Mr. Taylor "MannedUp" Hanson, no one is trying to make fun of any of you anymore for loving me, are they? Darling, I am rich, powerful, gorgeous, genius, really funny, talented, and very sweet to you. Of course, you are in love. You are sane. You are male. And you are breathing.

If anyone gives any of you crap over anything ever again, tell me sooner. You belong to me. You are mine to care for, and no one gets away with hurting my loved ones.

My darling Mr. Brien "GeneralLee" Dennehy, yes, I know how hard it is for you, the men I love. At least there are five of you to share the burden now. You know everything they did to my husband before I moved to Los Angeles. They framed him and put him on trial for murdering me! Dude, I am not dead!

And look at you! GeneralLee, Obama formed a literal lynch mob to kill you! If you were my only man, Obama would have killed you by now. I know you do not like sharing your home in my heart with four other men, but you are all safer because there are five of you instead of just one.

Please tell me you are all helping each other instead of competing with each other. I love you all so much.

My darling Mr. Bryan "Bogart" Eno, I know things are particularly hard for you and Sweetness because you two have no way to see me. I am trying to find some way to make it up to you. I get so lonely in this damned "egg." Yes, I know how hard it is loving someone you have no way to touch.

Some nights, I just want a pair of loving arms wrapped around me while I sleep. Twice you made sure you could hold me as I slept, and I will never stop thanking you. I know how much you risked just to be good to me.

I am not looking for someone to dance with. And I do NOT need some stranger to buy me a meal. I hate being treated like an object or a conquest. I do not need a piece of arm candy to raise my social status. And the last thing I have ever wanted is a one night stand.

I need to feel loved and respected. I need someone I can shut my eyes around and know I am still safe. I need someone to make laugh when I am in the mood to tell jokes. I need human kindness and genuine human affection. I have a lot of responsibilities in this beleaguered world, so I need someone who will NEVER try to stop me from doing my job.

Yes, I have five of you who are everything I could ask for in this world, but I cannot have any of you. I am lonely, darling. Sometimes, I just wish one of you could actually kiss me.

My Royal Consort LightFoot whom I am STILL forbidden from speaking with least of all ever making love to, you should see the way you look at me some time. Once, I was just walking down the sidewalk drinking coffee, and you looked like you were watching Aphrodite descend Mount Olympus straight into your arms. I like it.

My darling Mr. Kris "LightFoot" Novoselic, there is this strange common behavior among my guy friends right now. My straight guy friends of all levels of fame and success have all been risking getting caught sending me secret messages just to tell me you are gorgeous.

At first, I thought they worried I had never noticed you were good looking. But it is more like they think it is news worthy that you are gorgeous. Let me explain...

When they finally realized I am gorgeous, they were all, "Well, of course, she is gorgeous," and never said another damn word about. No one ever once took me aside to tell me my husband is one of the sexiest men in the planet; that would have been like someone sitting down my darling Ms. Angelina Jolie and telling her, "You know that Brad Pitt. You know he is good looking, right?"

No. These are my straight guy friends who are all married with kids saying things like (paraphrase), "Every time I think of you with your boyfriend he is shirtless, and I want to give him man-babies."

It is like this is the first time they have seen you since 1994, and they have no idea why you did not become an underwear model like my darling Mr. David Beckham.

To be fair, not all of them lived in the U.S. in the 90s, but it is pretty much all of my straight guy friends who have had some inner need to tell me you are REALLY sexy.

I thought it was funny enough when Rolling Stone magazine dubbed us rock royalty calling you the darling Mr. Lindsey Buckingham to my Stevie Nicks. I almost put on a diaphanous black witch costume after that. Giggle. Oh, my darling Ms. Stevie, I love you.

In short, my friends love you, my darling LightFoot, and keep having the most hysterically funny reactions to our being a couple.

And for the place of honor in every blog post... My darling husband, Sweetness, I love and adore you. How is my king today?

My darling the Mr. Johnny "Love-of-my-Life" Depp, oh, honey, I need you. Just for a moment, imagine what the entire world would be like if we were together right now.

No more protests. No more demonstrations. No more of our friends and loved ones risking their lives trying to pick me up and take me to safety. No more human rights violations against our home of Los Angeles used as population control. I would have finally have both physical safety and enough food to eat just by being close enough to you to touch your face with my hand.

Beloved, I agree that my finally reaching you would not end all of Obama's crimes against America that comprise his horrific "egg." He would still be enforcing his media silence over all of America at the literal point of a gun to make sure no one would know Obama is doing all of this to America.

But, HoneyHoney, those of you who already know reality would be able to finally stop dying. You know that is why I am forbidden from having you. I would finally be safe. We would leave for a country where the government would actually acknowledge I am a fellow human being, and I would finally be free to do my REAL job unshackled.

Sweetness, we both lived through 2010. We know Obama will NEVER allow the truth to be told in America, even if I flee the country. We all witnessed that the last time I left my home of California.

When I fled Obama's jurisdiction to Mexico and the United Kingdom in 2010 to escape Obama's "egg" of rape and human trafficking, that was when Obama started propagating his most ridiculous lies about me ever just to make sure everyone would attack me everywhere I went.

California is the only place I have ever been since 2009 where the public actually bears witness to reality and tells people the truth about me.

My beautiful husband, I had to move back home to the West Coast just so the world could realize I had never died, and the (expletive)ing (expletive)ers I was around 24/7 in ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa were my father, my mother, my sisters, my old family friends, and the loser (expletive)heads I went to high school with who never made it out of Iowa.

My hero and my king, Obama forbids me all of my loved ones because you would actually make my life livable after Obama has spent every waking moment of his life since he took office in 2009 making his "egg" as unsurvivable as possible for me.

And if anyone needs irrefutable evidence of this, Obama keeps inventing even stricter and more cruel "rules" that he enforces all of America must obey or face his Gestapo. I was told new "rules" came out only yesterday 03Mar.

Sweetness, you tell me every day that I live in the eye of a hurricane of love. You tell me there is an entire world out there that I am forbidden from knowing about where people actual care about me.

You tell me that there actually are people somewhere, anywhere, who do not want me to die raped and tortured to death in a completely controlled environment, the only reason Obama has forced everything from mass mental health genocide to totalitarian social control to control every facet of my surroundings. (You ALL need to remove your earspeakers; they are a crime against human existence.)

My beloved husband, I have so little evidence in here that you are right, but I have always believed you.

My human rights begin by removing all only-crimes-against-the-entirety-of-humanity "adult guardianships" and "conservatorships" from my life, none of which I had, by the way, before Obama's "egg" destroyed all normality in my life. And my human rights will only be complete when I reach you, my persecuted husband.

But as a fellow world leader, HoneyHoney, you know our people will only be safe once Obama's crimes-against-America "egg" is completely demolished. There are so many people out there who think I am the fat, ugly, White, fat-assed, insane, twerking prostitute with no job skills who replaced "Octopus" after I died.

And none of them know LITERAL Terrorist Dictator Obama is the one who caused all of this to happen in the first place and who still enforces his (expletive)ing "egg" at all cost of human rights, mental health, morality, taxpayer money, and priceless human life to all of America and to the world at this point ONLY because once Obama's totalitarian oppression of the media ends, everyone will finally know the truth about everything he has done to us all FOR REAL.

My hero and my king, saving me is just the beginning. Please remind that hurricane of love you lead that they need to save my people. What good is my finally being safe from disappearing forever into a literal torture facility paraded as a mental institution if my people are not also finally safe from Obama's persecution of all of us?

I love you, Sweetness. Now, go lead my people in my absence. Obama is still forbidding me from teaching peace and love to the planet. So please meet with my beautiful world for me and tell everyone what the hell goes on in America for REAL. Thank you.

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