Saturday, March 2, 2013

Rumor Has It.

Preface: Same as always... Make sure you favorite or bookmark, so you can check this blog regularly for new posts. Please read and share them all. Yes, yes, share all my blog posts yourselves!

Here is my latest blog post. Despite being persecuted, I still have a job to do. This is March. I have so much in store for you, my beautiful world. What do you have in store for me?

Syria. Secretary of State John Kerry, thank you for understanding the urgency of resolving the conflict in Syria. The US seems to have a lot of trepidation about arming the rebels because of how much support they have from Jihadists and other extremists.

The thing is, though, the Jihadists show up. They take up arms for the rebels. They put their lives on the line for the cause. If you want the Syrian opposition to turn away from their Jihadist support, you are going to have to show up, too, and do better than the Jihadists do at fighting the fight.

Do not get me wrong, Secretary of State, the non-lethal aid is important, too. But if you really do not want the Syrian revolution hijacked by sectarians, you are going to have to do better than they do. The greatest supporter of the rebels will have the greatest influence over the nation they build.

Vatican City. The new pope is going to have to heal the church after the decades of child abuse. There are children to heal. There are flocks to heal. This healing process will take large, public action. It is time to think of our children.

The new pope will also ideally carry the church into the 21st century. Gay rights are human rights. If you believe in a God who loves, you probably believe that God loves you just the way God made you. There is so much love to teach and healing to take on. I pray the new pope does not let his followers down.

Egypt and Tunisia. I saw your Harlem Shake as protest. It looks like a breath of fresh air for your secular opposition that should lighten a lot of the heavy mood around there. It also looks like it made a lot of waves. The Harlem Shake as protest has proven to be effective as well as freeing of the soul. I am proud of you. I wish more people would use dance as peaceful protest worldwide.

As for my life, rumor has it the bubble was forbidden the moment Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act.

Congress, thank you. If I am evidence of anything, it is that both parties in power in America can and do work together. Thank you, most sincerely, for everything. We just need to get Obama and those in a conspiracy with him to obey the law and uphold the Constitution finally. You are heroes, Congress. Never let anyone take that away from you.

This has proven, Obama, that instead of playing mislay-the-blame politics, you have more to gain from being nice than from being so divisive. After all, you have never once been nice to me, and look how I feel about you. People respond favorably when people are nice to them. If you had ever wanted to work with Congress instead of command them, you would have been nice to them instead trying to blame them for your own mistakes. Try being nice to me for once. See where that gets you.

My beautiful world, there are efforts in action to get me my freedom. But I cannot be free unless all of America is free. When will the media have freedom of expression and freedom of the press back? Do you all just need to exercise your rights now? There is no punishment possible. Please read the Violence Against Women Act then tell me what you need to get freedom of the press and expression back. I cannot be free unless all of you are free. Let us all set America free.

My brave rescuers, I am working on it. There should be nothing in your way, but Obama seems to have officially gone dictator on America. Standing in your way is not only a violation of the Constitution, it is also a violation of the VAWA, now. I hate when you die. I hate when you get hurt. I know you want to reach me before I get tortured again on 07March. We need to start pressing a lot of charges.

SynSyn and my mighty legal team, get a full copy of the VAWA Obama signed yesterday. If my rescuers meet resistance again, get a court mandate for Obama to stop perecuting me and that orders my rescuers get to come pick me up. Take all necessary legal action to rescue me now that we have the Violence Against Women Act. Thank you. SynSyn, consider criminal charges. Start arresting everyone keeping my rescuers away from me. Arrest anyone who tortures me. Etc... We have the VAWA now.

Sweetness, I love and adore you. I can taste your lips already. May I ask you for a favor? Can you arm a good soul with the Violence Against Woman Act and send him or her in here to be my friend until my rescuers can show up? With my father's death and my impending torture, I am feeling in particular need of support around here, and support is something Iowa does not do well.

Darling, someone took Dave aside after you sent him to me all those months ago and told him Obama forbade him from being my friend. The same thing happened to Amar after the UN sent him to me. Can you arm someone with the VAWA and lone him or her my mighty lawyers if he or she gets taken aside and told not to be my friend? I need someone with the balls to defy Obama's dictatorial whims and be my friend until my rescuers show up. Please, darling. I need support in here, and we have the VAWA now.

Sweetness, you always take such good care of me. I cannot wait for the days when I get to take care of you. I picked up some sweets (half of them are sugar free) for the kids yesterday. I am ready to be your wife, and I am ready to have you as my husband. I am tired of waiting. Let us get this taken care of. I love and adore you.

P.S. Normally I reserve my Post Sweetness (or P.S.) for high literary references like links to Kafka's The Trial or Homer's The Iliad, but today I am going to make a pop culture literary reference. Please click here for Neil Gaiman's A Calendar of Tales. It is perfect for those with short attention spans or those who just need inspiration to write. October has a tendency to make people weepy-eyed. In April you can feel the rise and fall of the seas. It is a good read. I highly recommend it.

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