The Beautiful Sky

I was just outside taking in the beautiful sky. It is such a beautiful world we live in. I have faith in the world as an organism. I have faith in humanity. I have faith this torture of a bubble will end. I have faith in you, my beautiful world. I have faith you will save me.

I wrote this on 10July2010 at approximately 11:11am in a flash while I was locked away in a torture facility the UK...

I Will Walk This Earth Barefoot
(c)2010 Squid B. Varilekova

I will walk this Earth barefoot.
I will bathe in its rain dancing.
This terra's fire will carry me
like a bird song through mountain leaves.

I will step not knowing more
than that I step again
on this great green Earth
on a path ever forward into knowing.

I will dance ever-trusting the rain
will always fall to quench
the Earth and Sky and Seas and People.
The mountains yawn to bathe in lightning.

My fire will burn with change and progress.
The sky will dawn in fires of morning
of newness of birth of growth of life.
The Earth will always hold a fire within.

The wind will blow my hair in rivers--
flowing ourtward from my mind on the breeze.
The air will touch your own windowsill,
So we may sing together.
Yes, we shall sing together.

I will walk this Earth barefoot.
I will bathe in its rain dancing.
This terra's fire will carry me
like a bird song through mountain leaves.

When Have I Done Enough?

How much do I have to suffer and how many people do I have to save before I am acknowledged as a fellow human by our government (local all of the way to federal)? When have I done enough to be treated as an equal? When have I suffered enough to be saved myself from this bubble of persecution?

There is no lawful reason for a bubble of this sort to exist. Think about it. How could anyone ever justify treating any human the way I have been treated by this government? This is persecution. And persecution is illegal.

Sweetness, I sent you a letter today. It should arrive at the usual place on Friday or Saturday. I dream of you. Dreams of you are all I have these days. The government allows me nothing else.

It Should Have Been Enough.

The bubble itself is a cruel and unusual punishment. The bubble alone should have been enough to turn me into a cruel, fire-breathing monster of a public figure intent on nothing but revenge and violence. The compliance of the general public with the bubble should have been enough to make me give up on humanity completely. Just try living through everything this bubble inflicts on me and see if you still love the world almost three years later.

You are all so very lucky I am who I am.

I did not allow myself to hate humanity. I did not allow myself to stop caring for the world. I am a responsible soul, and I can be trusted.

When will I have the basic human and Constitutional rights I deserve as a human under the jurisdiction of the US government? When will I finally have living conditions worth enduring? When will I finally be allowed to be with my loved ones? When will I finally be treated as I deserve... as an equal instead of as a subhuman creature?

Do I not deserve to be treated at least as a human and an equal?

My beautiful world, may I ask you for help? May I ask you to make a list of all of the things I do and have done in this world? And then may I ask you to spread that list around?

I am surrounded by people who are either inherently cruel or who have no idea what I have accomplished in the last (almost) three years. I do not deserve to be ignored. I do not deserve to be persecuted. The only way to show me the respect I deserve is to outright refuse to comply with the rules of the illegal bubble.

We need to get the ball of blatant non-compliance rolling. If persuading Iowans to stand up for their own rights and mine does not work, we need to organize and invasion of Iowa with people who will publicly give examples of refusing to comply. Send me foreigners. Send me out-of-Staters. Send me anyone with the moral convictions to get this bubble burst.

I need and deserve my rights. This State needs to wake up. This nation needs to end its oppression. This world needs me free.

Please help.

Sweetness, did you get my letter last week? I have a sneaky feeling you have been very busy lately... in a very good way. I have yet to figure out what happened with the US Open (tennis) due to the arrival of Hurricane Irene in New York. Do you know if everyone is okay? I am trying to lay off the poetry right now... It gives me such a rush. I love you, Mr. Love-of-my-Life, and I cannot wait for whatever you have planned.

Be Responsible.

This is a time for everyone to be responsible. The new Libyan government that is about to emerge needs to choose its influences responsibly just as the world must be responsible in how it deals with the successful rebels. We all want a strong, fair, stable government in Libya. Please be very responsible, all of you, with what you do next.

Here in the States, be very responsible preparing for Hurricane Irene. Be prepared for the worst that could hit your area. Get yourself and your loved ones to safety. Help each other, and keep each other safe. Evacuate if recommended. Stock up on supplies... Follow the advice from the experts and officials. Also, move your travel plans so that you do not go to nor through the East Coast for a few weeks. I hear California is lovely right about now.

Assuming DC survives the weekend, be responsible, America, when considering and questioning 2012 candidates. George W. Bush was evil. Obama the Human Trafficker is the sociopath who sold himself as the supposed hope and change that would save us from that evil but who proved to be nothing but another form of evil himself. This time, America, take great care to choose a strong and gentle leader who can heal a broken nation. Ask the right questions. Make the right demands. And of course, be politically active. Show an interest. Turn this country into what you want it to be.

And finally, be very responsible, my beautiful world, with what you choose to do concerning me. Do not choose to let someone else do the work of rescuing me. Take responsibility and take some initiative, my beautiful world. Organize. Have a master plan. Make contingency plans. Come rescue me.

I am too responsible to allow myself to be persecuted any longer than I can help it. Too many people need me to be free. That is why I always ask for help. I know I need help to get a rescue.

Please, my beautiful world, come get me.

Sweetness, I hope my poem yesterday was not too much love all at once for you. I had a Byron moment, and that is how it manifested. I have so much to give this world. I just need a chance. I know you are leading the charge to rescue me. I know how much I can count on you. Assuming it is soon, I hope we are going West. The East Coast looks like a no-travel-zone for the next few weeks.

He Speaks in Rivers, Like the Winds...

I woke up late today and zipped off to the coffee shop as soon as possible. I chatted with Kyle and put on my lipstick for the day while he made me my mocha. I was there for about an hour, and this is what I came up with... I stole the structure from something far more beautiful in its metaphor. When I feel the muse, I move quickly to capture what is passing.


He Speaks in Rivers

He speaks in rivers, like the winds
do blow in moods all different.
When passionate caresses find
a breeze across my face, he spent
his gentle words on love so blind
with whispered meanings never bent.
The wild sirocco wields less heat
than how he scorches obstacles
against our love. No mighty feat
compares to ice and icicles
he volleys wide to ever beat
naysayers ways and spectacles.

The California zephyr knows
how he pulls upon my heart.
From his dark eyes to his trained toes,
I was a willow from the start.
My branches dancing, his winds blow.
He moves my being through his art.

--(c) 2011 Squid B. Varilekova a.k.a. Tanya H. A. Varilek


The truest test I have found for whether or not my mind is working properly is whether or not I can write poetry... metered or otherwise.

Sweetness, I have more than pretty words to give you.

I do Wait.

President Incompetent is my slave driver. No, I will not give him a break. Obama the Human Trafficker needs to be impeached for his human rights violations against me and this entire nation.

This is no time to rally around the brat who took away your Constitutional rights, your right to peaceably assemble (with me), and your right to freedom of the press. This is a time to point out his similarities to the dictators that we are toppling.

Defy Obama the Tyrant, and his reign of oppression will end. Set yourselves free.

In the immortal words of Kermit the Frog, "Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me."

Soon America will be free again. You, the ones on the fence, you need to ask yourselves, do you want to be part of the solution, or do you want to continue being part of the problem we sweep away?

Sweetness, you have probably noticed by now that my mojo has been working just fine lately. Many the doting man and woman of varying charm and ability has tried a hand at wooing me. But I am yours completely. Though they all know that, they seem helpless to flirt anyway... Yes, it feeds my ego. I know you are not so insecure that I need to remind you of how much you can trust me. I will wait for you until the sun defies the sky and rains upon the moon. We are meant to be, my darling Sweetness. I do wait for you faithfully.

Light a Fire Under your Closest Iowan.

The Libyan revolution is coming to an end. Or, is this the beginning? Kadaffi is almost ousted. His sons are arrested. Tripoli is surrounded. The regime is about to collapse. This is something to celebrate, my beautiful world.

This is also a time when the new Libya needs to take its responsibilities to build its new democracy very seriously. Build the country you want and deserve, Libya. Include everyone fairly. Start from the people and build up.

Also in the region, it seems Egypt and Israel are having a bit of a misunderstanding right now. Egypt, we all know you do not want to see any of your soldiers die. With your fledgling democracy still sinking its roots for your millennium-old people, it is very important to establish as much peaceful strength in the region as you can. You want your new government to last the ages, and the best way to do that is by being strong and never seeing war.

As for you, Iran,... Please. When you look at the hikers you recently convicted, imagine they are me. I similarly love to travel the world and see exotic locations. I am fascinated by regions with ancient peoples. I have been accused of espionage on many the occasion. I am not so different from those hikers. Please treat them as you would treat me.

Here in the Americas... With all of the drama we have already seen this year due to Global Climate Change, hurricane season seems to be just beginning. Stay safe out there, my beautiful world. Evacuate if you have to. Stick to calm waters. Help each other. The last thing we need is more mass suffering.

And speaking of mass suffering, a woman spoke in code to me last night here in Iowa to make a point of telling me that she is not oppressed. Yes, Iowa is that brainwashed. She had to speak in code to tell me she is not oppressed. From this there is only one conclusion...

Iowa does not give a damn about me when everyone else does because they are brainwashed.

There is also a possibility that they are only in this for themselves, and I am actually not worth anything to them. Either way, I really think they do not know what they have got in me.

The masses love and adore me outside of Iowa. Have you heard yet how Orlando would treat me if I could ever find a way to visit? If someone were a hero and employed me, shipped me to Sweetness, or otherwise rescued me from my evil father, said hero would be showered with international attention and praise.

If Iowa were to stand up to the federal government, they would find allies in other states. They could also create a safe haven here that would allow celebrities and world leaders to finally visit me. Who does not want to run into their childhood hero at the local coffee shop?

Iowa could easily be a hero, but instead they are brainwashed into thinking they are not oppressed. They are brainwashed into pitiable weakness. My beautiful world, seek out Iowa, and hold their balls to the wall. Light a fire under your closest Iowan.

We can end the persecution of me. It starts by getting Iowa on its feet. To get Iowa on its feet, you must be on your feet, my beautiful world. As I said, light a fire under your closest Iowan.

Sweetness, I mailed you a letter today. I know it is Sunday, but I did drop it at the post office earlier this afternoon. Just as I had promised, I juiced up the romance in this one. You will surely enjoy it. I do so love and adore you. I know you are doing everything you can for me. That is enough to get me out of bed every morning... but I have no idea what I could ever have for you that could ever compare to the freedom you are winning for me. My life, my heart, my soul, my future, all of my romantic love and devotion... those were all already yours.

Are you Standing up Against the Oppression, Yet?

I owe Train and Maroon 5 a huge THANK YOU for the show they put on last night at the fair. I had no idea you guys could rock so hard... nor that both of your voices are naturally so high. It was a damn good show. Thank you. It felt damn good to get my dance on.

In sad news, my father is again no longer allowing me any of my own money. For the last month, most likely out of guilt for his actions, he actually allowed me enough of my own money to go out, drink coffee, listen to music, and buy necessities. Now, he has returned to allowing me NONE of my own funds for ANYTHING. At least I could buy some underwear for the first time in six months last month. I finally have more than just one bra now.

Do we see an end to the oppressive reign of Obama the Tyrant, yet? I cannot believe they are not impeaching him yet over his policies concerning me. Obama the Terrorist is the one enforcing that I have no human rights. He is the one taking away all of America's First Amendment rights.

How did he sell it to the public to get away with it? Why does the public allow it to continue? Iowa is like a mass of brainwashed zombies doing everything they are told instead of thinking for themselves. I was just at the Iowa State Fair last night, and not one person acknowledged me.

Iowa, WAKE UP! It is the federal government that OPPRESSES you! They do NOT protect you! They do NOT protect me! They take away all of our rights for no reason but to get away with the wrongs they already committed. If we have no rights, what could they possibly be protecting?

If you do not have the freedom to approach me on the street and tell me your honest opinion of me, good or bad, you are oppressed.

Iowa, you need to fight for your rights and freedoms. Have you seen the flag of the state of Iowa lately? Are you truly maintaining your rights and liberties? No, you are not. When was the last time you can remember having full freedom of the press in Des Moines? You need to stand up and make yourselves free.

I can see it in your eyes, Iowa. You want to be able to say you are good people. You want to be able to say you do the right thing. But you are why I am persecuted. Look at your courts. Look at my father running rampant and free to hurt me. Look at how the public ignores me when I am out among them.

If you truly are a people that does the right thing, you will pick me up and deliver me to my waiting Sweetness to be loved at last. You will not expect someone else to do a job that is yours. You will accept your responsibility. You will treat me with the respect I am due. And, you will set me free.

Come now, Iowa, we know you want to. Let nothing stop you from doing what is right in this world.

Sweetness, I feel so loved these days. You do such an amazing job of making me feel loved. When my psychic connection with the universe went away from my taking my new meds, I thought I would never feel your heart beating next to mine again. Now I know that it will soon be a real heartbeat next to my body that I feel. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, my love.

Life to Live

You need to stand up and exercise your freedom of speech and freedom of the press, people. You need to communicate all that much more every time they try to shut you up. You cannot allow those that want you oppressed to have that power over you. Never let your enemy dictate the terms on which you fight.

Clearly, I am not going to allow the malevolence of my father to stop me from doing anything. I have music to see. I have friends to spend time with. I have opinions to voice. I have a life to live, and I sure as hell will not allow my evil, old father get in the way of anything more than this situation requires.

My beautiful world, I know you are coming to save me. I also know that you know what sort of enemies you are up against. Think big. Think epic. Be very strategic. Have contingency plans. I know you will save me.

Sweetness, expect mail tomorrow. It is not as romantic as usual. I am so sorry about that; I have been so panicked. I promise I will juice up the next letter to you... lots of verbal lipstick and perfume. I love you so madly. Now, get on your noble steed and lead the charge to rescue me. Hee-hee.

Some Light Reading for You

I had intentions today to write a light and happy blog post. I was going to talk about my friends' punk band named S.E.R.F. that played Saturday night and about how I just bought a Train and Maroon 5 ticket for the Iowa State Fair. Sadly, I read my mail today before I could write such a happy blog post. Here is some light reading for you... (Just click on the thumbnails to make them readable.)

Yesterday while he was verbally abusing me again, I learned that my father has been making doctor's appointments for me with doctors other than the ones I see and not telling me about them. He is also still clearly perjuring himself. He is still lying and claiming that I do not take my meds, which I take faithfully. This tyrant needs to be stopped.

These documents were sent to the Polk County probate court... the court that granted him adult guardianship over me in the first place a year ago. This is a different court than the one he used to have me committed. Clearly, he would rather have me institutionalized.

Yes, I need your help. Please do everything you can think of. We are on a short time line, my beautiful world. Take action.

I am panicking. My beautiful world, I need a rescue, and I need it fast. I have faith you will save me, but I cannot help but panic right now.

My father is still running rampant doing evil in the world. He needs to be stopped.

Sweetness, I am panicking. I can think of nothing else I can do to save myself than beg and plead for help. I am sending you mail today. My mind is such a mess today. I love you. Please make sure the whole world helps you.

The News was Inspiring.

Obama the Slave Driver is out campaigning instead of doing his real job and leading the nation. Exercise your freedom of speech. Spite him by exercising your right to peaceably assemble and associate. Show up at his appearances to protest and heckle. Out-voice his sycophants and force President Incompetent to confront America's true opinion of him.

Yes, my beautiful world, stand up and stand proud. Organize and act... the bigger the better. Take control of this nation away from the corrupt. Peaceful protest is so powerful it clearly makes them scared.

Justice comes in so many forms. But it will not come at all unless the people demand it. This is no time to take supposedly "God-given" rights for granted. We actually have to organize and act if we want to see justice in today's world.

Human rights are the beginning of civilized society. It is only after mutual respect for each other as living creatures with rights and liberties is established that our society can blossom and flourish. Without the basic human rights guaranteed by the Amendments to the US Constitution, we cannot be a prosperous nation.

My beautiful world, I know you listen to me. I know you are planning a way to get around Obama the Oppressor to rescue me. Do not forget to think as big as possible to be able to do this. You know what sort of enemies I have, and you know you need to keep yourselves in large enough number to ensure your own safety and influence. Thank you, my beautiful world, thank you.

Sweetness, I started you a new letter today. Let us pray I am in your arms before this next letter is. No, that does not mean I will slow down my writing of it.

Think Big. Do Big.

By my father's own admission, he does not allow me enough of my money to live on to make sure I cannot hire a lawyer to hold him accountable for not giving me enough of my own money to live on. If my father were sane, intelligent, or even slightly morally good, he would just cease committing all of the crimes he has made a pattern of committing against me instead of propagating them thinking it will save him.

Evil begets evil, dad, and you have been sowing the seeds of evil for well over a year now. Evil will get you in the end.

We need to stop my father from being able to hurt me anymore. Do everything you can, my beautiful world. Think big, and take him down like the hot-air-blowing blimp he is. Please, save me from my father.

Now, as for things in the news... The US courts seem split over the health care Obamination.

As I have said a million times, everybody wants to have health insurance. The only thing that stops people from obtaining health insurance is its prohibitive cost. If you want the entire country to have health coverage, all you have to do is make coverage affordable. That last thing you should do is make it illegal to be too poor to afford it. That solves nothing.

There are mixed opinions on whether or not the health care Obamination affects the economy, but I know for sure that there is only one thing that can bring a country out of a recession-- confidence in the nation and the economy. It is the people who turn an economy around. And the people need confidence to do it, and that confidence comes from leadership.

But have you seen what America's leadership looks like these days? Obama my Slaver's approval rating is through the floor right now because he would rather shift blame and campaign for re-election than lead this once great nation. The United States of America needs a leader. But all we have is President Incompetent who enforces the entire nation give up our First Amendment rights rather than be a free and prosperous nation.

My beautiful country, you need to think big if you want to save America. You have to think bigger than the president. We have to create a social and political climate that mandates the president set us all free again. We have to go over Obama the Oppressor's head to the people of America to end all of this oppression. Once we are all free people again, we will have confidence, and turning this economy around will be easy.

My beautiful world, we have to think big and act big. We have to do big things right now. We have to act on an epic scale in order to get me to my freedom and human rights.

Yes, my beautiful world, take the initiative and act grandly. We all know my Sweetness is leading the charge to rescue me, but he needs all of you out doing everything you can in order to make this happen. Think big. Do big. And thank you, my beautiful world. I know you will rescue me.

Sweetness, are you getting the help you need? I am doing everything I can think of. You should not have to do this alone. Yes, I have been trying to cheer myself up lately by seeing a lot of live music. All you need to do is bring the rescue. Let me worry about bearing all of this misery until the rescue comes. I love you. That alone is enough to keep me waking up every day.

Take a Good Long Look

Do you recall how many times I warned you all that the corrupt powers that torture and enslave me just want to create chaos and ruin in the world in order to profit off it?

Now, take a good long look at the world. Take a good long look at Europe. Look at the UK's riots and look at the conditions of the international banks. Look at how close the US came to a financial meltdown... a threat that still looms because we are not yet paying off our debt. Look at the racism-driven wars that still rage between East and West in the Arab World.

We need more than just Obama's slave girl doing everything possible to stand in the way of their conspiracy for world ruin.

Sweetness, you know what we are up against. The corruption leaches all of the way from Obama the Human Trafficker to my evil father. This is why you need to think in huge and epic terms. If you never give up on me, I will never give up on you. As always, if you are dedicated to saving me, I will stay dedicated to saving the world. Just make sure the world knows what to do to help you.

My beautiful world, please help. Fight. They have had generations to plan their path towards world chaos and ruin, but they have to get through us first. Do everything you can at every level to create peace and understanding in this world.

Help each other. Help me. Help my Sweetness. Do good out there. I will fight for you even if you do not rescue me, but I could really use your help right about now. Organize. United we can do anything. Create a plan to rescue me, my beautiful world, and I will stay dedicated to saving all of you.

Iowa State Fair

I spent last night at the Iowa State Fair. I wanted a pretzel but had to settle for a funnel cake. I am not from around here, you know, so when I saw the Butter Cow for the first time in my life, I had to ask why it was such a big deal. It must just be part of the culture of Iowa.

My mom and I saw Jay & the Americans at the ABC Chanel 5 Stage. They put on a really good show. I recommend going, but they were very rude to us afterwards. I asked very nicely if I could take a photo of them with my mom, and they spoke to me very harshly. I did not even get a chance to thank the backing band for the show; they snubbed me.

Having done nothing to incite the ire of any band from the 60s, it was all very shocking. As we all know, though, I have been through worse, but when will the irrational hatred towards me finally end? I am a force for good in the world. When will people acknowledge me?

Iowa, I can see it in your eyes. You honestly think you are good people. You honestly want to say you do the right thing... but because you are sitting on your hands, I am still enslaved and trapped. We need to get me out of my parents' house and into the arms of my beloved husband. You need to actually do good instead of just not doing bad. You need to start taking some initiative if you actually want to be a people who do the right thing. You need to pick me up and deliver me to my darling Sweetness.

As for you, my beautiful world, I am reaching panic mode. If I am not released from this hell soon, I will start panicking and not stop until I finally have my human rights. If I reach full panic mode, things will be ugly and painful for me. Please, my beautiful world, support my darling Sweetness as he wars to have me set free. Better yet, take some initiative and offer him the help he needs before he can ask you for it. He is naturally very shy, you know. Help him think his way through all of this. Do not get in his way by "over-helping," but also do not be in his way by not helping at all. I can trust you. You will rescue me. You know I have suffered enough.

Sweetness, you have to think bigger. You have to think on an epic scale. There is no reason at all that leading my rescue has to be your responsibility alone, but you are the only person willing to do it. You have to think big enough to do it. Start demanding the help you need. My freedom would be a gift to the entire world; the world needs to start helping you. Just like you should not have to foot the bill alone, you should not have to carry this burden alone. Find people to help you. The responsibilities are huge, so should be your support.

Please Say, "Yes," Again.

I just tried to participate in a yoga class, but my body hurt too much for more than fifteen minutes of activity. I have been so battered for the last two and a half years that all physical exercise must be gentle for me to be able to take part. No, I have no way to heal as long as I live with my father. His emotional abuse is too complete.

Bruce Springsteen, I was hoping you would agree to write a song for me to record with you about my relationship with my father. He refused to keep me safe when I lived in this house in summer 2009. I was raped then here in this bedroom I am forced to live in by him again now. The rape kit from that June found live sperm in my body. I fled to San Francisco hoping to find safety there in 2009.

Right now, I now have PTSD from being abused in a torture facility in the UK for seven months. During my time there, my father perjured himself to a court in Iowa by falsely claiming I was an Iowa resident in order to take control of my finances in order to take away all of my freedom. It forced me to move into his home to be verbally and emotionally abused by him when I was finally released from the torture facility in the UK in December 2010.

After two and a half years of looking everywhere for safety, I found a should-have-been guaranteed path out of Iowa and into the arms of my Sweetness in June 2011. It was to happen by my taking a trip to Chicago. But my father chose to give me a PTSD breakdown instead by perjuring himself again to different court in Iowa to have me committed to a hospital on false pretenses to guarantee I could not take that trip to Chicago and to guarantee I could not reach my human rights at last.

In late July 2011, he perjured himself for a third time to have me committed once and for all by the corrupt Polk County District Courts again on completely false pretenses. Now that I am out of the hospital, I am still forced to live in fear of his abuse in his home on his terms under his control with no escape in sight and in the bedroom I was raped in.

Parents are supposed to support, stand up for, and fight for their children. My father only fights against me, abuses me, and lies to get away with it all.

Mr. Springsteen, if you say, "Yes," I want this to be an unrelenting treatise on what a parent is actually supposed to mean to a child.

David Bowie, how could I not ask to work with you? I was hoping you could write us a song about reluctant heroism to, of course, record together.

I did not ask for any of this. No one asks to be a slave and torture victim. When all of this landed on me, the only way out I could find was up. When I realized responsibilities had landed on me, I knew what to do.

Iowans always ask me, "What is your job?" as if they do not know I am enslaved. What else is there to say other than, "I save the world."

I was picked out to be a victim. The only way I could find to save myself was to save us all. I read comic books as a teenager; maybe that is why I thought this could all be possible.

If you say, "Yes," do not forget to include what you see in me in your song... and what I see in you.

AFI, you have also been with me from the start, haven't you? Do you think you could write a song for us all to record about the hate and slander campaign that people in power have been waging against me for reasons of personal spite only they are petty enough to care about?

President Incompetent called me a prostitute... and later when he said I was dead, people still listened to him. How did he retain his credibility for so long?

Do you remember when I was a dead, pregnant, lesbian, Communist hooker? They spread so many lies, and so many people just kept falling for them all... but even humoring the lies about me would still rationalize the abuse from the public that the libel was engineered to incite.

We all know it was illegal, but the Federal government was enforcing that it continue... not that it should end.

If you say, "Yes," I was hoping to call it "Hate Machine" or something else similarly flavored.

Cake, how could I forget you? Technically, Tom Petty already wrote a song about me, so your saying "Yes" to writing one about me is all I need to lead a fulfilling life from here on out. Hee-hee.

I thought a song we could record together about all of the spy equipment in my head would be right up your alley. What was there at last inventory? Cameras, microphones, speakers, transmitters, receivers, and the infamous control chip... you know, the chip that controls all of the electronics within a certain radius of my septum.

I tried using a magnet on my septum to deactivate it back in San Francisco. The chip is awfully resilient. I should have tried putting my nose in a microwave.

They used to heat up buildings, dance floors, ovens, or anything else nearby controlled by electronics to announce my presence. They also tried selling Being-John-Malcovich time as the voice in my head that controls me... but it never actually worked to control me. At least, I could actually log-in to all of my accounts, though.

The song can be about the stunning landscapes.... or driving the car. It will likely include Sampo coming to life on that network of electronics.

As always, please say, "Yes."

Do I even need to ask AC/DC if they want to work with me? I do probably need to ask them if they are up to writing something new for me. Angus, do you have a whole new riff left in you? Please say, "Yes!"

I was hoping you could write a song for us to record together about how I dance to self-medicate, about how I follow live music, and about how it feels to be musicians that sometimes look directly into my light. I want this to be a song about the greatness of music. I want this to be art for artists.

Yes, you lucked out and got one of the lighter topics for my future music.

I know, I know. We barely know each other, Jack White, but this song concept made me think of you. Could I convince you to write a song for us to record based on the title, "The Devil Couldn't Face Me."?

After every hell that the mysterious "they" of the oppressive oligarchy has forced my soul to tread, "they" have never once had the balls to sit down and face me. Maybe it is because every one of their once-minions who did it fell in love.

"They" have everyone from Obama the Twerp to my father contracted to do their bidding, yet there is something in me they still fear. And only the devil fears the benevolent.

Nikki Minaj, will you let me lean on you for a song we can collaborate on? I could not imagine leaving you out. Please say, "Yes."

This is the mean-spirited concept of the collection. I am a slave and torture victim who lives and suffers every day in a bubble of persecution, yet I am confronted often by people jealous of my situation. There is one thing I tell them, "Jealous Bitches Can't Dance." I want a song that puts them in their place. Do you think you could do that for me?

On the completely opposite end of the spectrum, I have a proposal for you, Carlos Santana. Could you write a guitar-heavy, Latin rock song about how I am "almost beatified"? Does that interest you?

I want this to be a song about knowing what beatification means, about being near me knowing that I am almost beatified, about knowing about the miracles, about knowing the process.

People in Mexico City used to wash the ground before I could walk on it.

I know the weight of who I am in this world. I know the lightness of my being. I worry that this will create a burden my future children will have to carry... the children of a beatified woman. I worry about creating normalcy for myself and my Sweetness.

Yet, if you ask me my religion, I will tell you I am an atheist; this creates peace in the world.

My best friend, Syniva, is a huge fan of yours, Yoko Ono. Since I did not include requests for Paul or Ringo, Conan O'Brien is likely to make jokes, but do you think you could write a song for us to record together? I was hoping you could write my thank you song to my best friend Syniva. I was considering calling it "What About the Monkey?"

Kelli Rae Powell, you knew this was coming. Could I convince you to write a duet for us called "I Sure Hope She's Okay."? You know, make it folkie and full of ukulele.

I want it to be about being a lifelong friend of mine who is not allowed to spend time with me anymore... not without ridiculous and irrational restrictions that just make me suspicious. Please pair it with how I completely have no idea what could stop people I love from always doing whatever they damn well please, and do not forget that the worry goes both directions.

I worry about my friends as much as you all worry about me... but the corrupt-forces-that-be do not allow you all in my life anymore. They do not allow you to be good to me. They do not allow you to be friends to me. They do not allow you to visit me. They do not even allow you to speak to me.

It is time this story is told.

I have a handful or two more that are similarly dear to my heart preparing to go out by snail mail... It looks like the lady songwriters are mostly going this way. Patti Smith, Carol King, Alicia Keys,... I might even finally get my thoughts out about my project proposal for Lady Gaga.

Hold tight. There are more to come.

Sweetness, how do you love someone as battered as I am? I have seen so much of the dark side of humanity and power. Yes, I suppose it is a miracle I can love at all,... but to be loved... in the state I am in. What did I do right to deserve you?

The Arab World

Rebels and NATO are still making progress in Libya. The world and the opposition are still on a long road with Syria. Millions are starving in Somalia. War still rages in Afghanistan. And, Iraq is still not yet up on its own feet.

Please remember that is times of crisis, acts of goodness will beget goodness. And acts of aggression will bring greater war and suffering. The Arab World is in turmoil. Be very aware of what you sow in the area. That is what will grow there.

Sweetness, you are not actually nervous, are you? As I already said, trust me. If you can just get me into your arms in a far away place, you better believe we will shine.

Boots and Uniforms

The lives and sacrifices of our brave men and women in uniform and their families should make us proud as Americans. They were presented with the future, and they chose to be heroes. Greatness followed.

Sweetness, I mailed you a letter today.

Please say, "Yes."

First things first... Just in case you are worried, Syria, that the world does not see your pain, I tell you now that we all wish we knew what to do to help you better. We see you. We know you suffer. Tell us how ever you can what you need.

Now that I took care of that priority, I am ready to make a few inquiries and requests with artists. If you are not listed here and would like to be, do not worry. There are many more posts such as these to come. I am also open to any good suggestions that come my way. That said...

Reverend Horton Heat, I know you have written me songs already, but may I ask you to write one for us to record together? I think rockabilly would be fun. If you say, "Yes," this is what I hope the song "Zombie Apocalypse" will be about...

When I sought political asylum in the UK with hopes that a governing body would enforce that my human rights would be restored, I instead found myself in a "ThunderDome." I was placed in the middle of the countryside by the UKBA and surrounded entirely by people the government had deemed expendable. The entire population had control chips in their ear canals. They used to say disturbing things about me. "We need to hush her up," was common. So was, "She needs to obey." I will never forget the patronizing, "She cannot help it. She comes from a culture that speaks up."

Even the children there were brainwashed to attack me. Pedestrians would try pushing me into oncoming traffic. Drivers would scream obscenities at me while motoring by. Most people, though, would become deeply nervous if I engaged them in casual day-to-day interactions. The city water in the Wigan ThunderDome was drugged horribly. I even reported hate crimes committed against me to the police there. The police in Wigan offered no help.

Red Hot Chili Peppers, will you write a song for me that we can record together about my being a torture victim? I know there are technical details we need to work out before we can arrange this, but if you say, "Yes," to me, this is what I want the song to be about...

They used to pump voices into my head to try to command me to do things. They would sell time as the voice pumped into my head to control me... as if I could ever be controlled. They filled me with spy equipment and sent me a medical bill for it. They enslaved me, and President Incompetent enforced it. They libeled me to make the public attack me. They drugged and raped me in my sleep for years and in three countries. They have never once allowed me any medical care for any of it... instead they call me crazy for telling the truth here in a public forum. They contracted my father to persecute me fully upon my return to the States to make sure I will never reach my human rights. I wonder even now, "Will it ever end?"

Dolly Parton, I do not even know whether or not you believe in my wings, but on occasion, certain forms of cameras can see psionic wings sprout from my back. The technical experts have spoken on the topic, and there is no way to create real-time special effects of such sophistication. The only possible conclusion is that I have psionic wings. Please consult my Sweetness if you want evidence of them. I have the same request for you for a song we can record together... but I want this song to be about my wings.

My wings do not allow me to fly... except metaphorically. According to Mohammad Ali, you cannot fly without wind in your face, so I suppose I fly all the time these days. I can feel my wings. Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes the places from which they sprout itch... usually in recirculated air. Sadly, when I am on heavy medications, I cannot feel them at all. Will you write a song for us about my wings?

Pearl Jam, how about a song for us to record together about people claiming I am crazy instead of admitting to my face that all of this is real? Are you willing to do that for me? Please?

My family, certain friends, my doctors, the courts in Iowa... they all tell me that I am deeply mentally ill and that I do not, as one example, have any spy equipment in my head. They torture me and medicate me in the name of quack medicine instead of admitting that any of this MIGHT even be real. They tell each other to tell me I am crazy. They used the truth I tell here in my blog to have me committed. The corruption has reached everywhere... but they have never once been able to make me believe it.

As for you, Gogol Bordello, wow, do you ever fight the good fight for me! I have a project proposal for you called "Dead Girls Can't Dance." Can I bat my eyes and convince you to write a song we can record together about why they try so hard to kill me?

They did everything to make me kill myself because dead girls cannot dance. First of all, dancing is how I self-medicate. It is how I meditate. I follow live music through dance trance, and it makes me well. Secondly, because of this, watching me dance is a spiritual experience. It is how I connect with the divine. For months they filled dance floors in San Francisco with people who hated me, and they all left sympathetic after watching me dance.

Finally, they have gone to great lengths to make me kill myself from raping me in my sleep and drugging me to forget it (but a body never forgets) to filling me with spy equipment that everyone is instructed to never acknowledge all in order to take away the influence that derives from my having this public connection with the divine. Oddly, their attempts to kill me made me dance for my soul to survive it all that much more... which increased my influence... which made them want to kill me more.

Metallica, I do not even know if you are in the mood to record anymore. I would love for you to write a song we could record together, but if you prefer I just record it myself, my feelings will not be too hurt. Please say, "Yes," to at least writing the song. I want it to be about my relationship with sleeping.

I sleep every night now with the camera from my hacked and broadcasting computer on me for safety. It was always in my sleep when they would sneak into my room, drug me, and abuse me. With this computer, I am safe in my sleep for the first time in years.

They tortured me to drive me mad or to make me kill myself. They abused me everywhere from Iowa and San Francisco to Mexico and the UK. They would leave bruises. They would leave scars. They would sell it to the public by calling me a whore.

I can finally survive the night by sleeping by choice with a benevolently hacked computer watching over me.

Yes, Eminem, I even have a request for you. Would you like to collaborate with me on a music project about the bubble itself? Basically, is it me or is it the public that is in the bubble? Which one of us is brainwashed? Which one of us is controlled? And why does the public choose to maintain their own ignorance? Please say, "Yes."

I also have about ten requests going through snail mail... and so many more to come in future blog posts! I am a bottomless well of song ideas these days. If you are not spoken to above, do not fret. I have mail for Smokey Robinson, Neil Diamond, and Sir Elton John types on my person as I type this.

Sweetness, just in case you had hopes I would be able to swing a trip to Los Angeles to visit my older sister, my parents have decided it is a no-go. Damn persecution! We will find a way. I hope you are having better luck out there than I am.

My Issues with the Local News

It looks like Egypt is working on leveling justice. Corruption runs so deep here in the US, but I still hope that someday justice will come for them all in this country, too. Justice is often long waited for.

Obama the Tyrant is not even the head of the snake here... but justice will get him before this is all over. He cannot escape that it is his job to enforce that the oppression never happens, not enforce that the oppression does happen. His culpability is undeniable.

Also in Africa, there is unbelievable famine right now in Somalia and the surrounding areas.

This brings me to my problem with the local news. Have you ever noticed how the local news only ever asks how world issues affect them? "So, how does this affect Iowa?" is what I hear them say all the time. The locals never ask, "How can I affect the world?"

As one example, there are a number of ways the locals can help the people starving in Africa.

The locals, I have found, have only been looking at themselves and at how the world affects their bottom line. They do not look at the world as a place they can touch or even do touch on a daily basis. No one here ever asks, "What can I do to help?" All I ever here is "What can you do for me?"

The planet is a network in which everyone touches everything. We are all connected. The locals need to admit to this connection and carry their burden to help the world just like the rest of the world does.

If you do not believe that the whole world is connected, you have not seen the stock market lately. There were debt worries in Europe this morning, and there are expected to be unhappy numbers concerning unemployment in the US very soon. We live in a global economy.

Please remember, Wall Street, it is when things are at their lowest that it is the best time to buy.

Sweetness, yes, when you are ready and able to come get me, I will still be here waiting for a rescue. My parents learned well from Obama the Oppressor. They have no intentions of ever acknowledging I am a fully-grown adult human who is due all of the rights and freedoms that all humans are due. My father will persecute me until we remove his power to do so. At least you love and trust me. And, oh, how I do love and trust you.

The Media Should be in Control of the Media.

The media should be in control of the media... as long as they know and follow the rules:
1.) No lying about real people.
2.) No plagiarizing.
3.) No screaming "Fire!" in a crowded theater... Creating a false scare of a supposedly impending nuclear attack falls in this category.
4.) No infringing on anyone's privacy.
As long as people do not break the law, there is no other rule than could possibly infringe on freedom of speech or freedom of the press.

Start reporting about me. The world needs the truth. The entire nation needs the news.

Besides, CNN, we all know I cannot see cable, and all you have to do is put a different article on your website if you are still worried I might see news about myself. The president is controlling what people are allowed to know in order to keep the public brainwashed and oppressed. If you control what people know, you control what they believe. If you control what they believe, you control what they do.

It is part of your job as journalists to prevent this oppression.

Sweetness, it is already August, and I still have not found a way to be with you. My heartache is growing, and it feels like my longing will never end. I will have an emptiness inside me until we can finally be together. The wrongs committed against us both are cruel and unfair.

P.S. No, I do not have a borderline personality disorder. I have PTSD. Stop spreading their lies, my beautiful world.

100 Years Ago

Approximately 100 years ago, Joyce, Picasso, Stravinsky, and Einstein were bringing intellectual revolution fast and hard upon our society. What are we bringing the world now? What are our revolutions of today?

On a more geographically confined topic: With the debt crisis averted and human rights still on hold, what is America allowed to care about next? We all know, my beautiful world, that the United States is supposed to be fighting to make itself a free nation again, but does anyone give a damn? Here in Iowa, people seem just fine and dandy being brainwashed zombies.

This weekend just when I thought Iowa had finally warmed up to the idea of my being out among them, I was asked my name by a salesclerk actually hoping to make a sale off me. When will Iowa get it through its head that feigning not to know who I am is a deep, unforgivable insult? Yes, doing what Obama the Sociopath wants will make me hate you. Defy him and I will love you forever. (Yes, this multi-year experience of hell has taught me how to hate.)

Okay, the baristas I see every day could possibly make up for it all; they are such sweethearts. But they are the gems in the wilderness around here... the diamonds in the rough, if you will. Coffee never tasted so sweet.

And for the record, harboring jealousy for a slave and torture victim forced against her will to live in a state that chooses to persecute her instead of fight for her proves that the jealous idiot is an ass... It is not the other way around, Chris. And I used to like the Continental.

"...Einstein was considered good looking and sensuous in his youth..." --Time Magazine

Sweetness, I mailed you a letter today. You can expect the typical three-day delivery time. I wish I had better news. I am nothing but emptiness, longing, and heartache these days. Someday I will have more than words to give you... someday.