Sunday, August 21, 2011

Light a Fire Under your Closest Iowan.

The Libyan revolution is coming to an end. Or, is this the beginning? Kadaffi is almost ousted. His sons are arrested. Tripoli is surrounded. The regime is about to collapse. This is something to celebrate, my beautiful world.

This is also a time when the new Libya needs to take its responsibilities to build its new democracy very seriously. Build the country you want and deserve, Libya. Include everyone fairly. Start from the people and build up.

Also in the region, it seems Egypt and Israel are having a bit of a misunderstanding right now. Egypt, we all know you do not want to see any of your soldiers die. With your fledgling democracy still sinking its roots for your millennium-old people, it is very important to establish as much peaceful strength in the region as you can. You want your new government to last the ages, and the best way to do that is by being strong and never seeing war.

As for you, Iran,... Please. When you look at the hikers you recently convicted, imagine they are me. I similarly love to travel the world and see exotic locations. I am fascinated by regions with ancient peoples. I have been accused of espionage on many the occasion. I am not so different from those hikers. Please treat them as you would treat me.

Here in the Americas... With all of the drama we have already seen this year due to Global Climate Change, hurricane season seems to be just beginning. Stay safe out there, my beautiful world. Evacuate if you have to. Stick to calm waters. Help each other. The last thing we need is more mass suffering.

And speaking of mass suffering, a woman spoke in code to me last night here in Iowa to make a point of telling me that she is not oppressed. Yes, Iowa is that brainwashed. She had to speak in code to tell me she is not oppressed. From this there is only one conclusion...

Iowa does not give a damn about me when everyone else does because they are brainwashed.

There is also a possibility that they are only in this for themselves, and I am actually not worth anything to them. Either way, I really think they do not know what they have got in me.

The masses love and adore me outside of Iowa. Have you heard yet how Orlando would treat me if I could ever find a way to visit? If someone were a hero and employed me, shipped me to Sweetness, or otherwise rescued me from my evil father, said hero would be showered with international attention and praise.

If Iowa were to stand up to the federal government, they would find allies in other states. They could also create a safe haven here that would allow celebrities and world leaders to finally visit me. Who does not want to run into their childhood hero at the local coffee shop?

Iowa could easily be a hero, but instead they are brainwashed into thinking they are not oppressed. They are brainwashed into pitiable weakness. My beautiful world, seek out Iowa, and hold their balls to the wall. Light a fire under your closest Iowan.

We can end the persecution of me. It starts by getting Iowa on its feet. To get Iowa on its feet, you must be on your feet, my beautiful world. As I said, light a fire under your closest Iowan.

Sweetness, I mailed you a letter today. I know it is Sunday, but I did drop it at the post office earlier this afternoon. Just as I had promised, I juiced up the romance in this one. You will surely enjoy it. I do so love and adore you. I know you are doing everything you can for me. That is enough to get me out of bed every morning... but I have no idea what I could ever have for you that could ever compare to the freedom you are winning for me. My life, my heart, my soul, my future, all of my romantic love and devotion... those were all already yours.

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