Friday, May 17, 2013

Looking Forward

Preface: Same as always... Make sure you favorite or bookmark, so you can check this blog regularly for new posts. Please read and share them all. Yes, yes, share all my blog posts yourselves!

Here is my latest blog post. I am looking forward to life after the bubble. I have needed human rights for a long time.

Syria. I have long been looking forward to getting my hands on the crisis in Syria. I had hoped Obama would have taken me up on my negotiation offer from so long ago, so I could finally have a way to get involved. United Nations, it is now up to you.

I have some things I am going to have to take care of like getting all of the spy equipment out of my head, fixing up my marriage, and disappearing for a while to heal. But if you want me hands on with Syria, UN, all you have to do is ask. Give Mr. Brahimi my number.

I would rather go through official channels than just pick up the phone and call President Putin on my own about this, as welcome as I probably am to do that. I would love to chat with him about Socchi. But if we are going to talk Syria, my call should probably go through the UN.

My beautiful world, I understand. Once I get my human rights back and the spy equipment is finally removed from my head, there will be a gap I will have to fill. There will always be my blog, my Twitter, and my Facebook, but I am going to have to figure out better ways to take advantage of YouTube, etc. I will not let you down, my beautiful world. I will just finally be in complete control of what people see from my life.

Also in my future comes voluntary TV time. I promised my first newsworthy interview to Brian Williams of NBC News and my first lifestyle interview to David Letterman. I imagine there will be some Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer in there somewhere. I know who my friends are. You all can call me anytime.

I need to start looking at charities. I need to decide what benevolent things to do with my hordes of cash. Think of the research and work we can do now on the environment! I pray Syniva took my advice, called Mr. Vinesh Jha and Mr. Andy Greenberg all those years ago, and invested my money someplace safe. I know I have a foundation that fights poverty. Oh, that reminds me, SynSyn, please give more money to the foundation.

I know I am not supposed to be looking forward to the paparazzi. My husband hates it in particular. But I am going to find it a welcome change from jack(expletives)es pretending they do not know who I am. If one more (expletive)hole Iowan asks me my name, I promise I will hand them their own (expletive) on a platter.

My beautiful world, ask me your questions. Find me, my beautiful world, and ask me your questions. I promise I will answer everything except for (expletive)hole questions from people pretending not to know who I am, pretending not to know what I do for the world, and pretending not to know how much I suffer. I am such an open book that I honestly have no idea what questions are left unanswered out there. Come find me and ask.

This all depends, of course, on our effective impeachment of Obama. Why has Obama bribed the public into putting LSD in all of my food, drink, and water since 2009? He is trying to turn me into a schizophrenic. Read this NIH article. Obama has been trying to destroy my beautiful, benevolent mind for four years now.

Why is Obama so invested in making me a schizophrenic? To justify four years of conveniently unlawfully imprisoning me in mental health facilities. So much of his persecution of me from torture to the adult guardianship to the mental health commitment are only justifiable if I actually am a schizophrenic.

Unluckily for Obama, I still have absolutely no mental illness and have never been a threat to myself nor others. But it does explain why there is so much LSD in my hair. Obama has been trying to destroy me.

Obama is very invested in turning me into a schizophrenic. It would excuse his last four years of persecution, and it would institutionalize me. Obama has been trying to destroy my beautiful, benevolent mind for four years now.

My brave rescuers, stay safe out there. Obama has a history of throwing tantrums. I see you are still coming to pick me up. Thank you. Do you need anything? I promised that once I regained my human rights that I would make the world worthy of all of your sacrifice. That is my future, my brave rescuers, serving the world.

My spies, ninjas, mice, and Vikings, you are around again. I can feel you keeping me safe from the shadows. Thank you. I promised to make the world worthy of my rescuers who die to save me, but I have to make myself worthy of you. You risk everything even your identities to keep me safe. Again, thank you.

SynSyn, every day I wish I could just talk to you. I really need my BFF these days. I need long talks over coffee. It means so much to me to know you are there for me. You never let me down. Thank you. I mailed you something that should get to Seattle today or tomorrow. I look forward to being in each other's lives again. Though, you never really left mine.

Sweetness, I mailed you a letter Wednesday afternoon. I still have not figured out what to get you for your birthday. You asked me to bake you cookies. That just is not enough. You mean so much more to me than a box of cookies. I love and adore you. It is your 50th birthday on 09June2013, and I really want to be with you for it.

When I kiss you at last, I will know all of this planning for the future finally paid off. What is on YOUR bucket list? Something tells me we will be putting a dent in mine.

My Bucket List -- updated 16May2013

Live for a time on a yacht traveling the world
See the Great Wall of China
Visit Easter Island
Go on safari in the Serengeti
See Machu Picchu... done
Visit the Pyramids at Giza, Luxor, etc.
Take the Trans-Siberian Railroad
Swim in the South Pacific... done
Ride through Patagonia on the back of a motorcycle
Climb a mountain... done
Sit in the Queen's box at Wimbledon
Live in San Francisco... done
Own an Olmec Head (no need to move it, just put a plaque by it)
Grow a rooftop garden
Sing at Carnegie Hall... done
Study at Cambridge University... done
Earn a Ph.D.
Write a book... done
Publish a book of poetry
Write my memoirs
Create a sci fi TV show that educates the masses
Star in a movie beside my husband
Dance on stage at a Rolling Stones concert
Inspire artistic expression... done
Start a fashion trend... done
Tell the stories of my trials and tribulations through music
Carry humanity through Global Climate Change
Change the world for the better... done
Start a charity or foundation... done
Start another charity or foundation
Create a scholarship program
Make girls proud to be girls
Move the nation
Save the world
Marry Johnny Depp and make him the father of my children

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