About Nuclear Arsenals—Please pardon my sentence fragment; it was chosen for artistic purposes.

They are useless. Humanity needs nuclear weaponry the way fish need a barrel. But then why do we have them? We have them because we built them. Let me explain.

Humans first built the atomic bomb in order to bully and intimidate other humans. The first method we found for standing up to another human with a nuclear weapon was to have one for ourselves. Then, there was a very expensive race to see who could own the largest and most powerful nuclear arsenal, all in order to appear more manly and strong than the other racer. Meanwhile, everyone wanted to join the elitist and supposedly manly and strong countries-with-nuclear-weapons-only club. Why? Because the cool kids were doing it. Soon, there were more nuclear weapons in existence than necessary to demolish our planet a few times over.

But how do WE fight nuclear weapons and nuclear attacks now? WE render them useless. Yes, there are more people than just me who are capable of sending radiation into outer space. No, I will not tell you who they are. I actually know how to keep a secret. Needless to say, not all of my powers are the results of a theoretical brain tumor I still need to be checked for. Some of this I have been capable of and hidden for a long time. Some of my mother’s family was living in the Philippines when the A-bombs fell on Japan. (Please follow the logical fallout of that statement and mix its DNA with the tenets of natural selection.)

Sadly, now that nuclear weaponry is useless, are there better technologies out there for meeting these ends? If you need to defend yourself against a bully-country, any and all bluff-calling built on actual, moral convictions seems to do the trick. If you need to defend yourself against frustrated fascist, terrorist governments and tyrants, I find the power of numbers to be highly effective. If you just happen to like nuclear power, please remember that there are forms of electricity-generation that are even more eco-friendly than nuclear reactors; that is, there are eco-friendly methods of generating power that do not require the (often controversial) production and storage of nuclear waste. If you just want to intimidate people, please do not look here for any help.

And, I think that finishes that idea. This torture facility still spins here on its axis. If I have to breakout without a physical rescue, it will be messy.

Planet, please take care,
Tanya Hedelisa Albon Depp de Varilek
a.k.a.
Squid Bedlam Vařilekova