Soon, on either Monday or Wednesday, my friend who loans me this computer everyday will depart from this facility. I told him "Congratulations!", but I will miss him terribly. It is not so strange, really. They completely switch the patients with new ones on occasion around here.
These are some other odds and ends from the last few days in here...
Does anybody else remember my calling a Papa John's pizzeria in the Twin Cities in May 2009? They and the following Papa John's I called trying to get a pizza delivered to my little sister's home behaved so suspiciously that I ended up in the infamous psychiatric unit in Minneapolis. Well, I have since forgiven Papa John's for it. No, it is not just because of the quality assurance of the franchise; it is one of the few delivery places around here willing to accept my debit card. Thank you, Papa John's. You have saved me from many a painfully hungry night in here.
When they locked me in completely by taking away my ability to leave the building anymore. The pain I felt first was the inability to buy any more groceries for myself. (Why I have to spend my own money to have enough food to eat while locked into a "hospital" against my will is an issue all its own. Most inmates here go hungry day and night while here.) I have tried a few grocery delivery websites, but none of them know how to handle a billing address in the States. I am ready to order a palatte of bourbon cream cookies from a distributor; I get that hungry in here.
If you looked at me, though, you might not realize how hungry I get. This is because I am so bloated from the chemicals they torture my body with that I am almost unrecognizable. They want me tortured in here until I die, and my body is bearing the pain of their cruelty.
I have seen new staff all over the place in here. That disgusts me. Knowing full well that this is a torture facility, they honestly chose to be new torturers of mine. I hold each and every member of staff accountable for their vile actions. They cash their paychecks for this, after all. The only two I can excuse are Vinnie and Damian from the night shift. If I had permission to press torture charges, I would press them against all other members of day and night staff, and I would press criminal charges against the NHS without a blink of an eye. This is different from how I used to feel about the NHS. It is the only thing I can think of that might make them stop torturing me here before I die at their hands.
I know it is not normal for me to mention that I might die at all. But their murder of me is the only escape I can see for myself from this place. I fight it. Oh, how I fight it in the only ways I know how, but it is their only goal for me in here. They torture me to kill me as painfully as possibly, and my poor abused body is the still living record of all they do to me here. I would prefer to live and live untortured.
We will see if you, the beautiful world, can break me free before they kill me completely here. Let's be honest. Is there anything more I could have done with my time here on this planet?
Friday, August 20, 2010
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