Monday, April 25, 2011

The Last Day and a Half

This last day and a half has been a mixture. Just when things get dark, something good always pops up. Let me start with yesterday morning.

My mom, my little sister, and I all went to the Ankeny Diner for the Easter Sunday brunch buffet. The guys making custom omelets were sweeties, and I had fun. I drank the water; it was still clean. I could not have asked for cleaner water... or more bacon.

After Tylia left to drive back to Minnesota, I went out to get some coffee and write another love letter to my beloved. Sadly, here at Café Diem I think I got roofied. It was that or there were A LOT of drugs in the water in my coffee. I was sipping a triple espresso monstrosity, but I could barely keep my eyes open as I scribbled I-love-you notes to my darling. I got up and drove myself back to my parents' house where I slept it off.

When I woke up, I went downstairs to watch some hockey on channel 13 and then some news. Because the Stanley Cup playoff game went into overtime, they skipped the national news and only played the local news. They had some guy named Dave Price as the anchor... He came across as if he were trying to assault me. He was rude, obnoxious, and unprofessional. It was one of the worst news experiences I have ever had.

I was in bed with the defrag running on my handy computer by 7 PM. I still had that many drugs from the coffee in my system. It sounds like I had an awful Sunday, but this morning actually started off worse.

After I woke up, changed my clothes, and put this nifty little notebook computer in my bag, my dad corned me downstairs and spoke to me. I was so terrorized that I ran out the door without eating anything first and without any makeup on my face. He has mistreated me for so long and abused me so much, that just hearing his voice made my stomach churn. In the car on the way to the chiropractor's office, I practically had a breakdown from just hearing his voice. I was weeping and driving.

No, I do not speak to my evil father. I have self-preservation. I insist on taking care of myself the best I can in this impossible situation. Every time he speaks me, I walk away emotionally battered. To save myself, I avoid him.

No, I am not in a healthy living situation, but I am doing everything I can to get out of it. I am confined to living in my parents' house with my evil father by that same evil father who broke the law to gain adult guardianship over me despite the fact I am a completely competent adult. He is a criminal, and he must be stopped. I am doing everything I can think of to get out of that house.

I just checked my balance moments ago, and my Wells Fargo accounts still have a combined balance of only about $13. According to what he forced me to listen to this morning, my dad will only move my own money into my accounts if I allow him to abuse me. I care too much about myself to allow that to happen. No, I will not speak to my father. He is too evil. Nothing is worth enduring his presence.

The chiropractor's office was a delightful breath of fresh air, though. I saw an old family friend in the waiting room. She teaches a lot of yoga now.

I was a little worried about how I would pay for the visit, but after I sat down in the waiting room and while I was fishing around for my lipstick, I found that someone had snuck cash into my purse. It has happened to me before, and it always happens when I have an emergency.

I have a suspicion about who gave me the "sneaky money" this time, but I will not say it here. I do not want her to get in trouble with my dad. He can be so cruel.

My chiropractor looked at my right shoulder again. He does such good work. He thinks one of my disks is getting a little wonky. Considering all of the abuse my body has taken over the last two years, I am actually glad that it is the only problem he can find. I will be back there on Wednesday.

I am now seated here at the coffee shop again, and there is NO roofie in my drink this time. They seem to have gotten the problem fixed. I tend to give people the chance to fix their own problems... It is one of my quirks.

Thank you for getting enough truth into Iowa that I could actually get some help. This situation is still far from tolerable, but that just makes the good moments that much sweeter.

Now, my beautiful world, I promised that I would focus on saving the world as long as you focused on saving me. It seems to be working. Thank you for everything you do for me. We will end this bubble from hell.

Sweetness, I mailed you another letter this morning. It should get to LA on Thursday... while you are in the UK. I know you will get your hands on it in no time. I have faith. I know what you have been doing to get through this bubble to be with me. It will work. I love you more than words can bear.

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